So this is why I don't kiss boys.

"So…" He said trying to sound casual as I was clearly still sitting on him. His face was tinted pink. I pushed my semi wet hair back and bit my tongue a little bit, trying to think of something to say.

"This is really uncomfortable," I announce to him, but mostly to myself. He looks at me a little hurt.

"Is it something I did?"

"No, you were great, but…" I trailed off, "I think we rushed it."

"You want to go slower?" He smiled and leaned in to kiss me. I leaned back but he was holding onto my waist so now I was on my back against the floor and he was on top of me.

"You're awesome at instigating awkward situations." I state plainly. His face was redder now from embarrassment. He stiffened and rolled off to the side. We lay on his post disgusting floor, just staring at each other. Then I thought, "Elijah?"

"Don't call me that," He said mock sternly.

"Eli," I corrected myself, "Would you like to go out with me?"

"Eh…" He said, grinning, "I don't really think-"

I hit him in the arm playfully, "You're such a jerk."

"I'm kidding; I'd love to go out with you." We both smiled.

"But you know that you're paying, right?" I started to laugh.

"Hey, I am the ask-e you are the asker!" He made a shocked face.

"But you're the guy and, oops! I locked all my money in my house." I raised my eyebrows, "Although… You could... lend me the money and I could make up for it by treating you to an awesome time!"

"Sounds fair," We shook hands. But I didn't want to be shaking hands; I wanted to be kissing the life out of him. My gaze dropped from his eyes to his lips… they were right there in front of me…

"So when are we going?" I said quietly.

"Right now!" He stood up, yanking me from the floor and carrying me out to Morty, "But first…"

"What?"

"We totes g2g gets you sum threads!" He smiled so wide; really means 'we totally need to get you some new clothes.'

"You are such a dork," I close the door to the hearse.

We got some me some shorts and a tank top, Eli picked out the butt shorts. He is such a perv. Wait, why am I saying this in my head?

"You are such a perv," I called from the back of the hearse, where I was attempting to change while Eli was driving. He couldn't see me.

"What did I do?" He said, laughing a bit.

"Just in general…" I murmur, "But your taste in girl clothing is impeccable."

"Girlfriend, please," I could hear him trying not to laugh, "Tell me something I don't know."

I pulled the curtains open and slid into the passenger seat.

"I knew you'd look good in it," He smirked.

"Perrrrrveeeert." I singsonged. We were at an intersection, stopping at a red light, though NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE.

"So where are we going?" He looked at me.

"Turn left." I said, "Turn left. Go straight. Turn right. Loop around here… and go straight… and turn left."

"All this is doing is wasting gas, where are we going?" He pleaded.

"And… stop." He stopped the car. I got out and climbed onto the hood of Morty. He just stared at me, "Are you coming or not?"

He jumped up without using his hands to steady himself. Impressive.

"So what are we doing here?"

"Stuff."

"Thanks for the descriptive explanation. It means so much." His hand was on his heart as he rolled his eyes. I was feeling a bit weird now. He bought me clothes and we had a heated make out session, and we were lying under the stars together.

"I'm cold." I said. He took this as a chance to be chivalrous and pulled his jacket off and helped me get into it to protect me from the whips of fall air.

"Better?" He smiled at me.

"Absolutely." I longed for the warmth of his lips. I leaned over and pulled him onto me by his shirt. He didn't protest, keeping his hands on the car next to my head and he kissed me for a long while before I gently pushed him off, sitting up.

"What are we?"

"What do you mean?" He sat up too.

"Am I your girlfriend?" I said frankly.

"Do you want to be?" He smiled in a goofy way.

"Do you want me to be?" I said quietly. He pulled me into a hug. Sure, it was awkward and tangled, but he hugged me. I could hear his heart beating. Then I broke the silence.

"Totes." I quoted him. He leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"So when are we going on the date?"

"This was our date." I looked at him, trying to hide a grin.

"But I gave you all that money, and we didn't even use it!"

"I know." I patted my pocket where the money was securely kept, "But I need new shoes, so…"

"Brilliant, yet evil. You're not going to go unpunished." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Are you a cracker?" I asked.

"In a way, yes. But some like to call it Caucasian. But if you're referring to the tasty snack, no." He grinned.

"Then stop smacking on the cheesy!" I said.

"Ouch, good one." He rolled his eyes as he so often does with me. He hopped off the hood and started to walk away when I jumped onto his back and almost made him topple over.

"Giddy up, horsey!" I said proudly.

"Oh, no! Have your legs gone numb?"

"I'm sleepy."

"Neigh." He pretended to rear up and trotted to the back of hearse. He swung me around so I was balanced on his hip like a toddler and he opened the backdoors with his right hand. Dang he was strong…

"Get in," He laid me down and scooted me forward."

"Wait, do I have to call the police on you for kidnapping and raping?" My eyes were half-closed in a sleepy daze.

"Nah, I'm naughty but not sadistic." I heard the door slam. I thought he went to the front but he laid down right next to me, "Besides, you can't rape the willing."

I gave him a look. He was so wrong. I am so not willing. At least… not right now. Maybe In say… 14 months, yeah.

I checked my phone.

"Dang, its one o'clock in the morning."

"It's not like you have anywhere else to go."

"My phone's dead." I said sadly.

"We'll go out and buy you a new charger."

"Wait, no. You can't keep spending all your money on me."

"I have money saved up from working for my uncle. I'm good."

"But I feel… I just don't like using people like that."

"It's not using if I'm glad to do it." He snuggled into my neck, "You smell good."

"It's your soap." I ran my hand through my hair, slowly drifting off to sleep.

I woke up in Eli's bed. Where was he? I ran up the stairs and through the kitchen as best I could without making any noise. I passed by the living room a few time before actually going in. Eli was laying sloppily on the sofa, sleeping peacefully. I crawled into his arms and under the blanket. He was so warm…