Famous Last Words

I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead…

"Your coven… You want me in your coven?"

"I want you in my life," I replied simply. I wanted the decision to be hers, and hers alone. No persuasion from me.

"How would they feel about that? Would your family want me to join?"

I smiled crookedly at her. "You don't have to worry for a second about that. They love you, Bella. Move on to want you want."

She chewed on her lip, and then a fingernail, then back to her lip. "How would that work? I mean, tell me what's involved in becoming one of you."

Thrilled that she was not only considering being with me for eternity, but thinking through the logistics this way, I took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on her palm. "Changing a human is similar to feeding from them." I spoke slowly, in a hushed voice. "You'd be bitten…"

"When do your fangs come out?" she interrupted.

I held back my laugh, instead tilting my head to lean in for a kiss. "We don't have fangs, my love. Our teeth are razor sharp, all the time. You wouldn't have marks like a snakebite, that's a myth from fictional accounts of my kind. A vampire bite leaves a crescent mark…can I show you?"

She stared at me wide-eyed and nodded.

Lifting her palm to my mouth, I kissed it first, and then applying the very least amount of pressure, I pressed my teeth into the fleshy mound by her thumb. Her heart was racing as I kissed it softly again. The impression was there, but I hadn't broken the skin. It would fade and disappear shortly.

"Like that," I whispered. "Only your skin would be pierced. Once there's an open wound and the blood can flow, we then drink to increase the flow of your blood as well as our own venom. There must be a heavier venom flow to fully penetrate your bloodstream. In my case, that wouldn't be an issue because you increase my venom even without feeding on you." Smiling, I caressed her thumb and wrist. "It's a very intricate mix of give and take…if there's not enough blood taken from you, the venom won't take over in your bloodstream and create the change. If too much is taken, you die before the venom can alter you."

"And it hurts, either way, right?"

I nodded.

"What's worse, the bite or the period after?"

"I… It's hard to say, Bella. I think it would be different for you, knowing. None of us knew what was happening as we were changed. The fear mutes the initial pain somewhat, I think. I remember being more scared than anything, until the venom took over and then… it fucking hurts, Bella. There's no way around it, whether you know to expect it or not, it's painful."

"So we would wait until your family could be around to help with those adjustment days, right? You couldn't do it here and then take me home… or could you do it all yourself? Just bring me back changed?"

"Bella, no… I can't do it myself anywhere. We'd have Carlisle change you." She grimaced. She was still thinking of it as an intimate act. Cupping her face, I stared into her eyes. "Honey, it's not like you think. It's very clinical. I would be there with you, but I can't change you myself."

"Why?" she asked softly, her eyes pleading. "I'd want you to do it."

"I've never changed anyone, Bella. I don't know that I could and you're not going to be an experiment for me. I won't risk your life."

"Why can Carlisle do it, but not you? I don't understand."

I sighed heavily. "Carlisle doesn't want you like I do. You have no idea how appealing you are to me. Not just physically, emotionally… as a boyfriend. You asked if we have favourites, right? Well, you're mine. Your scent, your taste… you attract me more than anything else alive. If I tasted your blood, I would lose it. I told you it's a very precise distribution of blood removal and venom replacement. I would fuck that up. When I'm feeding, I'm not myself. I am a vampire. Instinct takes over completely and I wouldn't have control over what I take from you. Do you understand?"

"You'd stop in time. I know it."

"You have far more faith in me than I do, my love. Option 3 is Carlisle changing you. Period." I hated putting that stipulation down. I wanted more than anything to let her decide our fate entirely, but if it meant taking a risk like that, I couldn't. "Think everything over very carefully Bella. There's no turning back once a decision has been made. Do you have any more questions?"

She sat silently for several moments. "What do you want?"

"It doesn't matter," I replied flatly.

"It does though… tell me. Please?"

"I want you to grow old, Bella. I want you to live your life, happily, and grow old and find peace at the end. See your loved ones on the other side."

"But you can't age with me."

"No."

"People would question that…"

"Yes. We couldn't have a public relationship after a period of time. Alone… I'd still be me and you'd be you."

"And a 17 year-old would want a 60 year-old in the sack, right?" she snorted. "Oh! I'm assuming… I should ask… if I go with Option 2, would that involve a physical relationship? Could we have sex?"

"Ummm…" I scratched my chin, pretending to really give that thought, just to tease her. I had enough confidence in myself now to be able to handle sex with her, in the right situation. "Maybe. Very carefully."

"And Option 3… sex?"

"Definitely. But not for a while."

She frowned at me. "You won't want me when I'm first…"

"We call new vampires 'newborns'. When you're a newborn, thirst is the only thing you think of. Your thirst would drive you to do whatever you have to in order to feed. And it never seems like it's enough. You won't want me when you're a newborn."

"I'd change that much? I can't imagine ever not wanting you. The thing I worry about is you losing interest in me and then I'm stuck for eternity lusting after you. Could that happen?"

I chuckled and placed my forehead against hers. "I'm a fiercely loyal vampire, Bella. I will love you, and want you, just as I do now - for eternity."

I kissed her, softly, then with more passion as her hands wove into my hair. I sucked on her lips and tongue when she offered it. My hands moved over her body, pressing her against me as our kisses intensified.

"I will want you like this, for eternity," I whispered against her throat before I nipped and tugged on her earlobe.

'Fuck yeah…' "Option 3," she panted. "I want Option 3. I want to feel like this for eternity, Iceman."

Had I used my vampire persuasion to make her choose eternity with me? Perhaps I had, subconsciously. As much as I desired her warmth and the sensation of sliding any part of my icy body into her warm, wet folds, I longed for a lifetime of fucking her without fear; making love to her without injuring her. And I longed to dip inside her either way… soon. Very soon.

I convinced her to go have a long soak in a warm tub to make her more sleepy. She was wired from all the caffeine she had poured into herself and excitable from finally knowing all my secrets. I didn't have to worry about giving her privacy with her thoughts, I didn't have a chance to read her at all; she talked on, endlessly. Even when she got in the bath, she asked me to come in and sit with her. I politely declined thinking it wouldn't take much for me to just jump right in with her and I felt like we should work back up to having sex. I had been gone for months… I had to rebuild my control and I didn't want to seem like I was using her.

I was laying on the bed, writing in my journal when she came out. Her hair hung loosely down her back, dripping wet. She wore black yoga pants and one of my white t-shirts. My senses went into overdrive… her scent, her damp nipples poking at the fabric of my thin shirt, oh fuck… her ass as she bent over to find her hairbrush in her bag. She turned slightly to take a look at what I was doing as she dug further into her bag. The light caught her just right, giving me a silhouetted view of her perfect boobs. Oh. Fuck.

"Jesus Iceman! You'd better let that thing out or you'll hurt yourself. What are you reading that's got you so worked up?"

Okay, so she'd noticed my boner. I hadn't had a chance to try to conceal it; it had literally come out of nowhere. "I was writing. But now, looking." This had been a day of complete honesty, why spoil it now. "I really want you."

She licked her lips as she stood fully erect. My forthwith statement had stunned her and she was suddenly shy.

"I'll go in the other room." I quickly got up and gathered my pen and journal.

"You don't have to," she replied softly.

"No… I do. If I stay, I'll… Bella, I really fucking want you." Unable to take the pressure against my strained zipper, I reached in and moved it to one side. At least it felt a little better. I considered bolting for the bathroom and relieving it right then so I wouldn't act out.

"I like this new Edward," she smiled at me. "The one who can tell me what he's feeling without hesitation. But why do you want to leave so badly?"

I blew out a breath of frustration, digging at my crotch again. "Because I really have to do something about this…"

She nodded her understanding and approached me slowly. "Are you thirsty too?"

I shook my head quickly. "No. Just horny." A nervous laugh escaped me. "Just 17."

Her hair had shifted and left wet drips down the front of the shirt. Her boobs seemed to scream out to me as I licked my lips. My eyes were locked on them. My hand moved back to my wood, trying to let it know I'd take care of it soon… behave. Bella stood inches from me now, it seemed to know her proximity and jumped. I sucked in a quick breath.

"You're uncomfortable," she commented. I could feel her breath on me, she was so near. "I can help you."

"Is that what you want, Bella? Do you want to do this now… so soon? I can easily go off and… and then I'll be fine. We can talk some more. I'll sing you to sleep."

Her arms went around my shoulders and she stood on her toes, placing very soft kisses along my jaw. "I want you too." Her voice was husky with desire, but gentle as her hands slid down my chest. She locked her eyes on mine as she undid my pants. She just pushed them open for me, not touching me until I gave her the go ahead. That came as a full, open-mouthed kiss as I picked her up. With my hands full of her ass cheeks, she wrapped her legs around my waist and hungrily returned my kiss.

"You're okay?" Her eyes were full of concern and lust when I backed up and sat on the edge of the bed, with Bella still wrapped around me.

I nodded, breathless.

Without hesitation, both of her hands were at my open fly, one tugging aside the material and the other digging out my boner. Remembering my 'thing', the first thing she did was rub her thumb across the tip, spreading my venom around the head as she circled it. Taking more as it flowed, she rubbed it down the shaft before beginning to stroke it. She repeated that routine, again and again, driving me crazy with desire as I nuzzled against her neck.

Suddenly she released it, and took hold of my face, staring into my eyes. Then she kissed me and dismounted. Oh… goddamn… she was on her knees in front of me, the venom oozing and her spreading it around. I moaned out loud when her tongue flicked against the tip. Her eyes flashed up at me, watching my reaction as she covered it with her mouth.

"Ohhh… oh fuck!" I cried out, leaning back on my elbows as the warmth of her mouth overwhelmed me.

My obvious enjoyment excited her as well, and she eagerly bobbed up and down, tugging on the shaft as she did so, little moans escaping from her as well. She'd stop now and then and coax more venom out, using her tiny fingers to circle the head. Oh jesus… She knew exactly what to do for me and when. I sat back up to watch her in action. She looked so hot, staring up at me as she sucked me into her sweet mouth. I stroked her head lovingly and thought of the zillion ways I wanted to get her off for doing this for me.

She moaned as a larger amount of pre-come oozed from me and licked up and down, making me shiver. "Oh fuck… Bella… "I moaned in return as more and more flowed out. She happily spread that around and used it to pump me.

"Who needs lube? You've got your own endless supply," she teased as she tugged and licked. "This is awesome…" Her words were cut off as she took as much of me in as she could.

I could feel the steady flow of venom building and building and I pulled her away as I erupted.

"Why did you do that?" She was pouting as she stood and stepped between my legs. "I love how you taste too, you know."

"Honey… it's venom. You're taking too much."

"Does it hurt you?"

She completely misunderstood. "No Bella. I have an endless supply, trust me. It's you I'm concerned for. I know that kissing you is safe, but I don't know how much more venom you can ingest. Go easy." I smiled warmly at her to let her know I wasn't upset, merely concerned. "That was awesome, by the way. You have skills. Great fucking skills."

She giggled as she mounted me again. "Are you okay to go for more? Or should we leave it at that for today?"

I narrowed my eyes and gave her a crooked grin. "Have I ever taken anything from you and not given something to you in return? Tell me what you want."

"Really? I can have whatever I want from you?"

"Anything."

She grabbed the edge of her t-shirt and pulled it over her head as she swung off me. Her pants were removed just as quickly and she knelt beside me on the bed, totally naked. Pushing on my shoulders, she forced me to lay back and kissed up and down my torso. I could feel her breasts brushing against me, arousing me to no end. When my new arousal began to show, she quickly repeated the first act until I was game ready once more. This time, when my flow increased, instead of licking it up, she spread it all out and straddled me. She rubbed herself against it until her juices, combined with my venom had us as slick as a waterpark ride.

Overzealous, she mounted me in one swift movement and froze. It hurt. She wasn't ready. But she wanted it… her thoughts came to me openly. She wanted me to understand; needed me to find a way around it. I pulled her up, sliding myself out with a loud release noise. I held her face and kissed her gently.

"Step by step, my love. You need to get used to my body again."

She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "I want you… so bad… We… we can try again. More slowly?"

I nodded and rolled us over so she was laid out this time. My lips and tongue covered every inch of her hot skin. She shivered from my touch, both icy and erotic. She was breathless with anticipation. She also had a hint of apprehension with her new awareness of me. That tore me between being proud that she was more cautious and being sad that she couldn't accept my loving as it was intended. I used softer touches and extra slow kisses to soothe her concerns. This seemed to heat her up as much as my rabid love-making in the cottage. She was soon writhing against my throbbing cock, begging in whispered moans to fuck her.

"Wait…" I held her still for a moment before giving her a light kiss on the forehead and getting up. As an afterthought, I leaned back over and sucked in a nipple. I gave it a gentle tug between my lips as I let go. "Be right back."

"Tease!" she called after me with a giggle.

She was wrapped in a blanket when I returned, but spread it open and held her arms out to me to re-join her. I took her hand and pulled her towards me so I could scoop her up. I carried her as I had that day she'd run into the back of me, breaking her nose. The day I discovered I could not only covet, but nurture and sincerely care about a human. We kissed softly as I carried her this time, and I set her down at the edge of the sunken tub.

"I have an idea. This is warmer. It may make it easier for you."

She smiled as she stepped into the warm bathwater and held my hand as I followed. I laid back against the side and floated above me, our kisses heating things up further. This time when she slid me inside, she did so slowly, adjusting to the hardness more than the cold. I held onto her hips, guiding her and keeping her steady since she was also working against the water resistance.

"Iceman," she moaned into my mouth. "You feel so amazing inside. You can't imagine…"

"Pfft! You can't imagine how amazing it feels to be inside!" I chuckled.

"Okay, so we're fuck hot together, right?" she laughed as she picked up the pace.

She held onto my shoulders to help with her balance. She was doing a fantastic job, however she managed to move. I was grateful for the water as well, not just to relieve some of her discomfort, but to help wash away my venom that was coming in a steady stream. It was telling me it was time to come, but I ignored it. It would be greedy to have 2 orgasms before she came once. But what was keeping her? I usually got her off easily.

As my thoughts drifted, wondering what it was keeping her restrained, she began letting out those moans that I had adored and missed so much. She was very close. I could hold off. I moved more steadily when she found the perfect spot and she pounded herself up and down, moaning and clutching at my shoulders.

"God, Bella… you're so fucking hot… come for me…" I murmured, ready to explode.

She came instantly, whimpering through my words as I talked her through it. When her spasms subsided, she showed no sign of intending to get off me, so I had to pull her off. It only took a few tugs for me to come myself, but she looked disappointed.

"Don't pout, my love. I'm not done with you yet," I purred and grabbed her in my arms. After a heated kiss, I sat her up on the edge of the tub. I reached for a towel to throw over her shoulders as she shivered. Then I took my position between her legs and got lost in her sweet taste and scent. She came for me twice that way and when I was ready for another, she pulled me up on my knees and guided me in. I took it slow, inch by inch as she had, stopping every few for a deep kiss and grind rather than a push. When she took all of me in, she stopped to grind with me fully inserted. This new angle suited her extremely well and she had her most intense orgasm yet. She cried out loudly as she came, her legs kicking wildly in the water.

"Jesus Edward! Fuck me… just like that… oh my god, I love you so fucking much!"

So I did as she wanted. My stamina was amazing, having just gotten off twice. I felt I could do this, and this alone, for eternity. She may regret it in the morning, she was going to be sore, for sure, but she was having the time of her life and I wasn't about to take away one second of it. My fate was sealed. I was destined to love this girl for eternity. And if she decided to love me the same way, I would take it. I could actually envision it, our life together, for the first time. It felt incredible.

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home…

(My Chemical Romance)