My head is killing me. My head is killing me. Does this mean I'm alive? I hear noises of something shuffling around me. I slowly pry my eyes open. I don't understand. I'm standing in a giant plaza. There are people zigzagging all around me. Maybe heaven this is heaven. Not really like I pictured it. This place looks familiar. Wait a moment. I'm in Grand Central Station. That means I'm alive! I survived! That means it my jump worked and I'm in another story. What story is this? Maybe I'm in a fanfiction?
I realize I'm lying on the floor. I start to get up, but a hand jumps out in front of me. "Ahcak!" I say, no making coherent noises. I look up. The hand is attached to an arm, which is attached to a body. The man looks down at me concerned. "Are you all right Miss van der Woodsen?" I realize he's talking to me. "Oh, um, yes." I take his hand as he helps me up. "Thank you very much."
"My pleasure, Miss van der Woodsen." He's wearing what looks like a butler uniform. Could he be a butler? My butler? Where am I?
He stares at me, as if waiting for a command. "Um, right, as you were." I say, trying to sound official. It sounds stupid even to me. The butler gives me a confused glance, and then conceals it, as a good butler should.
Suddenly I hear a bodiless female voice. She's talking about someone named Serena, boarding schools, and she calls herself the gossip girl. What…Could it be? No, no way. I probably miss heard her.
I notice that my clothes have changed. What am I wearing? The short mini skirt and low cut shirt are not something I would ever be caught dead wearing. I'm also wearing knee high boots. Beside me are two suitcases. I go to grab them, but the butler takes them before I can. "I'll take care of these Miss van der Woodsen. An heiress such as yourself shouldn't have to stress herself over such tedious things." I'm an heiress?
"Right of course, Jiles." I say. Jiles sounds about right for a butler. Jiles only gives me another confused glance. Out of the corner of my eye I see a familiar boy leaning on a rail. "Would you excuse me for a moment, Jiles?" He gives me another confused look before I walk away.
When I get to Nemo I follow him to the bathroom. "That was quite a stunt you pull off back there. I see you met the Editors."
"Yeah. And I would like to not meet them again." I say.
"Well, if you don't go messing around with the story, you won't."
"I wasn't! I was just doing what felt natural. Following my instinct."
"Clearly that is a lie."
"It is not!"
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"IS NOT!" I yell. He says nothing for a moment.
"Is to."
"I'm gonna kill you!" I lunge at him. Suddenly a woman emerges from a stall. She gasps. "Oh madam. Sorry. I wasn't talking to you. Just, um, talking to myself." I say. She still looks horrified and scampers out. "Whoops." I say. Nemo starts laughing at me. "Smooth." HE says sarcastically. I'm about to lunge at him again, but think better of it.
"So where am I?" I ask. He suddenly looks stressed.
"Promise you won't try to kill me again?" I roll my eyes.
"Please. It can't be that bad." He makes a face. "Oh." I murmer. "Fine. I promise I won't try to kill you." He smiles.
"Good. Then in that case, you are in Gossip Girl." For a moment it doesn't absorb.
"I'm sorry. What? I must have heard you wrong, I thought for a moment there you said I was in-"
"Gossip Girl. Yeah. That's what I said." I tense up. I just stare at him. I can feel my eye twitch a bit in annoyance. "Gossip Girl?"
"Gossip Girl." I take a moment. "GOSSIP GIRL?!" I exclaim, losing it. "I'm in Gossip Girl? Of all the fandoms… I've never even seen it to know that it's horrible!"
"Hey, it's not that bad if you give it a chance. It's actually very well written." My anger stops for a moment. "Are you telling me you watch Gossip Girl?" I ask in disbelief.
"I don't watch it, or read it, but it's actually a fun story to be in. And yes, it is very well written." I don't answer. I just sulk to myself. I had to end up in Gossip Girl, just my luck.
"Did you get any souvenirs?" I hear Nemo ask, snapping me out of my tantrum.
"What's a souvenir?" I ask.
"Sometimes you get to keep a small momentum from a story. It stays with you for a while, but as you get further from the story, it fades away." Cool, I think, remembering all the epic swords and weapons from The Mortal Instruments. I notice a hard weight in my back pocket. I get excited. I reach back and-"A rock?"
"No. It's the witchlight Jace gave you."
"So, a rock?" Nemo rolls his eyes. "I guess I'll keep it, maybe it'll come in handy in the future I say, slipping it into my back pocket. Thinking about the rock reminds me of Jace. I get a pit in my stomach.
"What are you thinking about?" Nemo asks.
"What happens to the people, um, characters, after you leave?" I ask, trying to sound unconcerned, but I can hear the serious tone behind my voice. Nemo can hear it too.
"Jace will be fine. The Editors will erase all their memories and reset the story. It takes a while, based on how much damage was done. That's why The Outsiders took such a long time." He explains. I giggle, remembering how everyone thought I was insane. I did too. I still do.
I feel better knowing Jace won't be harmed. I just need to get through Gossip Girl. It shouldn't be too hard. I can do this. One step closer to getting home.
"Alright. So who am I exactly? I'm not very familiar with this fandom."
"You are Serena van der Woodsen. Your mother is incredibly rich, and you live in a penthouse. Your brother recently tried to commit suicide but your mom doesn't want anyone to know. You went to boarding school and have decided to come back. Blair is your best friend and is dating Nate, who you had sex with a few summer ago-"
"I made love to my best friend's boyfriend?" I ask incredulously.
"Who have been going out since kindergarten."
"Jesus." This is one messed up girl.
"Blair is suspicious and jealous of you because you are fabulous and everyone wants to be you."
"You're too kind." I joke.
"Hilarious." Nemo says sarcastically. "And Chuck is a man whore. He will have sex with any girl who crosses his path, especially you because you're hot."
"Lovely." It's my turn to be sarcastic. "So what's with the bodiless voice then?"
"Oh. That's the gossip girl. She has a website where she posts gossip about people. No one knows who she is, or if it even is a girl. For all we know gossip girl could be a guy. And she should be posting gossip about you being back any moment now."
"Alright, anything else I should know?" He takes a moment to think.
"Not that I can think of."
"Ok. As long as no one unexpectantly turns into a demon, I should be all right." I turn to go, but stop as I catch a glance of myself in the mirror. I instinctively grimace. My hair is still red, but has begun to shade to blonde. Unfortunately my skin has gotten much tanner and it looks frightening against my hair. My cheek bones have gotten higher. Overall I just look like a mismatched freak. Hopefully everyone else sees me as a normal Serena. My stomach turns. I've only been here a few minutes. Luckily I can still recognize myself (a little). I just wish I had my good old normal not unnaturally tan face back. I get a sense of dread about losing myself, but shake it off.
"Bye Captain Nemo." I joke.
"Just Nemo."
"Oh come on, can't I call you Captain Nemo?"
"No."
"Alright then, bye." I open the door and leave. Then I jump back. "Captain." I say. He looks annoyed. I leave before he can say anything. That's payback for being so annoying before.
Jiles leads the way to a fancy stretch limousine. We ride it to an even fancier penthouse on the Museum Mile. Honestly, I can get used to this. I have literally everything I could ever want. I'm in the middle of chilling on my fancy new bed, watching my fancy new TV, when Serena's mom comes in. She says something about going to a party. I tell her that I'd rather just stay here and bask in the glory of all my lovely things, but she will have none of it. She says it will be a great opportunity to announce my official return, and that's the end of the conversation.
I look through the closet, but end up getting lost. To be fair, it's gigantic and basically a labyrinth. After twenty minutes I find my way out, but still have no dress. I don't want to wander to far back in, but I still need a dress. Although, maybe I can just wear some jeans and a sweatshirt. Unfortunately, after twenty more minutes of searching for a sweatshirt in Serena's gigantic multiple drawers I find some suitable jeans, but still no sweatshirt. Then Serena's mom comes back in.
"Where's your dress sweetie?" She asks.
"I couldn't find one. I was just going to wear jeans and a sweatshirt." She looks at me in horror, and then laughs.
"Very funny. But really, where's your dress?" I just stare at her. "I was just about to go get one." I lie. She smiles. "Great." Then walks away.
I stare at the entrance to the closet. "Noooo…" I mumble. Then sigh and give in. Luckily I find a dress that is cute and also not incredibly short. I make it back into the bedroom and put it on. It's a deep red high-low skirt with a lacey trim. I navigate my way to the living room where I find my mother. We leave, but I'm in a terrible mood for this party.