Wow, OKAY SO HUUUUUGE APOLOGIES. First, I've been going back and doing grammar and editing and whatnot, and I realized this chapter is missing a page! So it makes no sense! I'm super sorry about that! Secondly, I accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter 8. It was to my other fanfiction (that you should totally check out if you watch supernatural!) But anyway, so that should be fixed now. Many many many apologies. If anyone out there notices anything else that doesn't seem right, don't be afraid to pm me! I'm always scatterbrained so I'm sure there's some more mistakes out there!

Alright, now enjoy this (FIXED) chapter!

I examine the surrounding area. It seems I've landed in the middle of a wintry forest without another soul in sight. And no sign of Nemo. Speaking of which, I am REALLY annoyed at him for bailing out on me in Gossip Girl. That was so not cool. Unfortunately for me I need him to get out of here (though I hate to admit it). I guess I can only yell at him a little. He lucked out this time…

But seeing as he's not here right now, it looks like it's all up to me. I dig myself out of the pile of snow. I giggle at the shape of a body left imprinted in the snow. Jeez, it's like some sort of weird disfigured snow angel. And that's not all that's weird. I look up and down at myself and stifle a laugh. I'm in a white dress that fades to blue at the bottom and am enveloped by a giant fluffly coat. I am strictly against real fur coats because they cause innocent animals to die, but right now I'm freezing and I guess I just have to suffer until I can find a different coat. And when I get home (if I get home) I'm writing a very strongly worded letter to whatever character I am.

While we're on the topic, who am I? Judging from the ice spikes coming out of my hair and the wand at my side, I'm going to go ahead and assume I'm an ice wizard of some sort. Unless those spikes are supposed to be a crown. Then I guess I'm an ice queen. Okay. So what Ice Queens do I know? Elsa? I wish, but no. I'm not wearing the right outfit. Ice Queen from Adventure Time? Nope. Could I be that girl from Shark Boy and Lavagirl? If so, then I'm out of here- Wait a minute… I'm the Ice Queen from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Duh. Geez, sometimes I guess I can be really thick. Oh well.

Cool. So I'm the Ice Witch and I'm in Narnia. What now? Suddenly I hear some jingling noises. I see a sledge weaving through the trees.

"Santa?" I ask in amazement. At this point even Santa showing up wouldn't shock me. But alas, as it comes into view I see a dwarf steering it, and no jolly man with a white beard. The sledge comes to a halt in front of me. The dwarf steps out and takes a very deep bow.

"Your highness."

"Umm…Yep. That's me." He stays bowed for a few seconds as if waiting for me to say something. He looks up at me confused. I've been getting a lot of those looks lately. An awkward glance is exchanged between us.

"May I rise, Your Majesty?"

"Sure." I shrug. He rises and then stands at the ready. "Is this my carriage?" I ask. He looks really shocked by this. I guess it was a stupid question…I'll just try to act it off.

"Right, just kidding. You know testing you, all that." God, what am I saying? "So, um, let's get back to whatever we were doing, which was…?"

"Hunting the Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve."

"Right, right. I totally knew that. I was just you know, testing you. Again." He raises an eyebrow skeptically, but then shakes it off. He motions to the carriage as if saying, "Ladies first." I hop up and almost trip on the heavy fabric of my dress. Luckily I recover and try to sit down as gracefully as I can muster. I then realize that there is a boy sitting next to me. I hadn't noticed him because he was enveloped by layers of fur, very much like myself. I assume him to be Edmund. I really want to introduce myself and maybe start up a conversation, but then I realize that the Ice Queen or whatever probably wouldn't do something like that. So I slump down and try to make myself comfortable as the sled takes off.

Unfortunately I have a rather hard time getting comfortable. To put it simply, I don't know who gave that dwarf a license to drive a sled, but whoever did should be fired from their job. We nearly crash into twelve trees. Twelve! The first time I'm shocked, but by the fifth I'm just praying to God to have mercy on my soul…Some good it did.

But while I'm trying to not to barf, I notice something very peculiar. The ground around us seems to be thawing. In fact when I look up at the sky I can even see blue. After a while grass starts to peek up and soon I hear birds singing. Now it seems as if winter has never even touched this place and spring had been here for weeks. While it is nice to not have to wear a mountain of coats, I realize that this is probably very sucky for me, being an Ice Queen and all.

Then I get an idea. I am an Ice Queen so certainly I must have ice powers right? So maybe I could just pull an Elsa and magically transform my outfit into pure fabulousness. It's worth a shot. I try to summon magical powers to come sprouting out of my hands, but nothing happens. I'm a little disappointed I'll be honest. How did the Ice Queen turn everything into wintry stuff? Oh wait, there's a wand in my hand. Right I'll use that. Sure enough I raise the wand and tap my forehead, envisioning Elsa's ice dress. Nothing seems to happen, but I look down and shriek with joy. "It worked!" Edmund and my henchman both seem a little weirder out by my out of character mood. Their looks change to ones of worry however when the sled unexpectedly halts.

"It's no good, your Majesty. We can't sledge in this thaw." He says with a look of terror as if he thought I thought it was his fault and I was going to like freeze him or something. Ridiculous.

"Well I guess we'll just have to walk." I say hopping out. Of course I immediately jump into a puddle of melted snow ruining my fabulous new outfit. I'm just lucky like that. Edmund follows suit and I notice he seems happy about it being spring, which I suppose makes sense. I can tell the dwarf is still very apprehensive. "It's not right for a Queen to walk." He mumbles. I overhear him and I get a very devilish idea.

"Quite right. Maybe it would be best if you and Edmund carried me." I say. He looks a little taken back.

"But I- I don't think we'd be able to-"

"What are you trying to say? Do you mean I've gained weight? Be honest! Perhaps I've eaten a few more cupcakes than I should have but-!"

"No, no, no! Your majesty is perfect just the way she is and that was not at all what I meant."

"Then I'm sure between you and Edmund you'll be able to pull it off." A few minutes later we are off. Do I feel a little bad? Maybe. But to be fair I'm just trying to play the part.

After a while of nothing but woods and forests and birds singing I'm starting to get impatient. "How much longer?"

"Soon your majesty."

"Where are we even going?"

"To find Aslan."

"Ugghh…"

"Your majesty."

"What?"

"We're here."

I jump up and start running excitedly. "Finally." I race ahead, tripping over my ridiculous furs a few times. I reach the end of the forest and look out. In front of me is a meadow and it's filled with tents of rainbow colors and flags sway in the wind. At first I think I am imagining it, but I realize that animals of all sorts are casually walking around and conversing and fighting and training and acting like humans.

I'm in the middle of marveling at all this, when I hear a snarl from the side. I turn just in time to see a ginormous wolf pouncing at me, fangs out. I panic and instinctually stick up my hand in a 'stop' motion and then I realize I'm holding a wand. I try to pull it back, but the wolf keeps coming and before I can stop him, it's lodged up his nostril.

"Eww…" The wolf is clearly confused and starts wandering around trying to get a better view of the wand. It looks like a dog when it's chasing its tail…except its chasing a wand…in its nose. I try to stop it so I can pull it out, but it just keeps circling. "Would you just hold still? I'm not going to hurt I just want to help."

"Looks like you've gotten yourself into quite a predicament." A male voice says from behind. I turn and see a young man that's around my age, well, my original age. The first thing I notice about him is he is incredibly hot. I mean, like turning heads in a crowd hot. He has this wavy blond hair that stops right above his eyes and his eyes are striking blue and I'll admit it, his cheekbones are gorgeous. But I'm above liking someone for something as petty as looks. Plus I'm a little preoccupied getting my stick out of a wolf's nostril.

"Hey."

"Do you need some help?"

"Help? Oh no. I'm fine." I say, hoping he'll get the message.

"It's no problem. Let me help you. I'll just-"

"I'm a little preoccupied right now, and if you'd stop distracting me, I'd be making a lot more progress." He doesn't answer. I think he's gone away, but apparently not.

"So what exactly happened here." Oh…How do I even begin to explain.

"Since you're clearly not leaving I guess I might as well tell you anyway. I was just standing here minding my own business, and suddenly his puppy leaps out at me, and I, how do I say this? My wandstick accidentally got stuck in his nose. Now he won't stop moving around so I can't get it." He just continues to smile blankly at me as if I was just describing the weather.

"For the record it wasn't really my fault, he lunged at me."

"Well, I'll hold him down and you can pull your stick out." So he grabs hold of the wolf. I reach for my wand and tug as hard as I can. It won't budge.

"Have you got it?" He asks from the back of the wolf.

"Um. Almost." I pull harder but it won't come out. I stick one foot on the wolf's chest and push against it, but still no luck.

"Got it?"

"No. Just a bit further." Finally I put both legs on the dog and count to three and put all my body weight into it, and it pops out. With it comes wades of dog snot. I would have shuddered, except I'm suddenly catapulted into an inconveniently located party of animals approaching us. I hit one of them hard, and feel fuzziness around me. I hear a chorus of snarls and hisses as I stand up wearily and try to get my bearings. As I wipe off the green gooeyness, I realize I'm standing on someone's tail.

"Sorry." I say apologetically. One of the animals gets up and it is this giant lion that's twice as tall as I am.

I stare at him for a couple seconds. "You are the most adorable little kitty cat I've ever seen!" I yell. I run at him and embrace him and begin to pet him lovingly around his fluffy mane.

"Who's the cutest little kitty ever? You are you are. OHH you are so fluffy." I purr at him. Then arms unexpectedly pull me off. "Hey. I was in the middle of something there. Rude much?"

"None of your trickery Ice Queen. If you-" One of the centaurs pipes up, but Aslan raises a paw and silences him. "May I have a moment alone with the Ice Queen?" His followers seem reluctant but they slowly disperse. All except one.

"Peter is there something wrong?" Aslan asks the boy from before.

"Um no. I just wanted to make sure miss, um, Ice Queen was alright." He smiles, still not understanding that I'm supposedly evil. Maybe it's the spring getting to his head, but Peter doesn't seem like the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"I'm fine. Thanks again." He walks away. Now it's just me and Aslan. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Who are you and where is the Ice Queen?" Maybe it's the spring heat but I'm suddenly sweating profusely.

"I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about." I say, but my voice betrays me.

"No Ice Queen would ever do what you did back there and it is very clear you are not the Ice Queen, and yet you look like one. So that begs the question, who are you?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"You'd be surprised." I sigh and give in.

"It's that obvious huh? Okay. So first off you are in a book. It's called the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Long story short I got transported here and for some reason the characters all think I'm one of them. I've been traveling through different stories until I can get out. So here I am. And yes, I'm not the Ice Queen as you guessed." He says nothing but stares dramatically at something I can't see in the distance.

"What is your name?"

"It's um…I- can't exactly remember. I have no idea why."

"Interesting." He strokes his mane in thought as if it were a beard

"Is there anything you can do?" I ask.

"Perhaps. I will have to look into it some more. For now we can only continue along the plot. Tell me, what happens next?"

"Hmm. Well for some reason you agree to let me sacrifice you on some sort of an altar and then you basically come back to life and massacre my troops."

"You sacrifice me on an altar. Could it have been the Stone Table?"

"Sure. Sounds about right to me. Wait a moment. Are you actually suggesting I kill you? I don't think I could do that." Forcing Edmund and my own henchman to carry me may have been a little cruel, but there's no way I could ever possibly kill an animal that violently.

"No. We shall make it seem as if you have killed me. Then I shall resurrect accordingly."

"Alright, but how do you expect to pull this off?"

"A simple spell, a fake knife, I will handle it. All you must do is stab me as forcefully as possible in order to complete the illusion."

"But what if I miss? Or something goes wrong?" I can feel the nerves starting to rise.

"It will not matter if you miss and nothing will go wrong." I take a deep breath to calm myself down and not let Aslan see my fear. I notice some of his followers are watching us suspiciously, particularly a certain centaur who is glaring at me with an unbridled fury. I turn back to Aslan.

"Okay. So when will we do this?"

"Tonight."

"TONIGHT?"

"Of course. And I will prepare the spell and see if I can find a solution to your current predicament. I will see you again at midnight tonight exactly at the Stone Table. Your servants will show you the way. Now when you walk away you must act happy, satisfied, and above all victorious." I nod, but inside feel like I'm going to throw up. I turn and plaster on a forced grin. My eye twitches slightly. I walk forward trying to look triumphant, but it feels unnatural and the looks I'm getting tell me that everyone agrees. After a long painful minute I reach the edge of the forest where my "servants" are waiting.

"Let's go. Um. Home." I walk into the forest without looking back to see if anyone's following me. I assume they are. But I'm too preoccupied on what will happen tonight to care.

Midnight is moments away. I await Aslan at the Stone Table, my soldiers (if you could call them that) crowd around me. They are all so foul and ugly that I can barely look at them. Instead I focus on the dark woods anticipating the arrival of Aslan. My palms are sweaty and I've been having heart palpitations all afternoon awaiting tonight.

My heart skips a beat as I see a shape emerge from the darkness. All around me ogres and minotaurs and wolves howl and thunder. I try not to flinch. I plead at Aslan with my eyes. He doesn't seem to notice. He reaches the table and bows his head. I raise my hands for silence, and add a death stare just to complete the effect. It works. I take my opportunity and lean into his ear.

"Is everything ready? Is it a go?" he doesn't answer, but merely bows his head. I step back. He jumps onto the table and lies down. I take a deep breath, preparing myself. I see movement next to me, and a Hag has stepped forward with a knife on a pillow. I clutch the terrible thing and it feels heavy and evil in my hand. I fight the urge to drop it and instead raise it high above my head. Then the beasts all begin to shout and yell and howl with glee and my hands begin to shake. I close my eyes to block out the noise. It's all too much. I'm picturing impaling him again and again and him never rising. Blood pooling around him. I yell in frustration and flare my eyes open and plunge the dagger with all my might into the body below me.

Silence falls over the viewers. My heart is racing and I'm breathing heavily. I follow my arm to my hand to the dagger, but there is nothing there. No body. I have struck only the Stone. I step back and then the image of an impaled lion who is slowly bleeding out has appeared on the table. I drop the dagger instinctively.

I gaze around and chaos has taken the crowd. They are cheering and celebrating what they think is the death as Aslan. I look up just in time to see the real Aslan smiling before he disappears into the woods. I don't know how he did it, but it worked. I can't help but smile because it did. Everyone around me thinks it's because he is dead. I'm not gonna be the one to correct them.

"So?" I ask raising my voice above the crowd. "Let's say we celebrate this triumph. A celebration to match our victory!" I scream. "PARTY AT MY HOUSE!" I point in the direction and begin the trek with a parade of wild creatures drunk on happiness.

Unfortunately I had not realized what an awful venue my house was for a party. Or should I say castle? It's really more of a fortress. A really depressing fortress. It's filled with creepy statues of I don't even know what and I honestly don't want to find out.

"Do we have any drinks? Food? Appetizers?" I ask my servants. They shake their heads. "Hmm. I suppose the chance of having a party city around here is pretty slim. Let's just make do with what we have then."

The first thing I do is fabricate a disco ball out of ice. It takes me a few tries but I get it eventually and it looks so freaking awesome! Then I make some more cool looking ice streamers. I teach some witches how to make pigs-in-blankets, pizza, guacamole, and other delicious treats. I send some wolves on a wild goose chase for soda, chips, and other necessities. Finally I convince an ogre to DJ and after a few minutes of teaching him the ropes, he's jamming. I suppose he's just a born natural. I sit on my throne and adore my handiwork. Not bad at all if you ask me.

So the party begins, and let me tell you, those animals know how to party. They are hardcore. I'm just going to say one word, Pin the tail on the sugared-up minotaur while simultaneously playing freeze dance. That was more than one word but you get my point. It was pretty epic. It almost made me forget that I'm trapped inside a book probably destined to never see my parents or home again. It was a great party. The thought pops into my head that perhaps they don't really deserve to be slaughtered brutally tomorrow. I mean they're just fighting for what they believe in. I quickly brush the idea aside though. It reminds me too much of the Editor from Gossip Girl.

The next morning as the animals recovered from their hard night of partying I secretly meet with Aslan in the woods.

"You're alive! It worked. So what's the next step?" I ask (after hugging him a bit. He is so fluffy).

"We go into battle today. Tell me, how does it end in the book?"

"The good guys win, the children become the rulers of Narnia, and the Ice Queen dies…wait a second."

"That last part maybe problematic."

"You think?"

"Not to worry we will certainly think of a solution. Perhaps the same spell? No it will be too hard to perform in the midst of battle."

"I'm going to DIE!"

"Not to worry I will work on this. Until then just try to lay low and not get into any trouble."

"I'm awful at that."

"And I have good news."

"Great. I could use some good news."

"I believe I know of the spell which has bound you inside this book. I do not have an anticurse yet, but I will work on it."

"That's good I suppose…Aslan I've been thinking about it, and why do we still have to fight?"

"Because the Ice Queen must be overthrown and because we must follow the plot."

"But why? Why can't we just decide to make peace until you can figure out how to get me out of here?"

"Why? Because it must be done. My followers will never be able to peacefully cooperate with the bloodthirsty monsters you call people."

"Excuse me?" I remember the sight of all those 'bloodthirsty monsters' smiling for the first time. "Just because you're too racist to accept the idea that because they aren't beautiful storybook character creatures doesn't mean that they don't have feelings or want peace as well."

"Don't be ridiculous. This is precisely why a woman should not rule." My eye twitches.

"Did you just say that?" I ask. "You know Aslan you surprise me. I always thought you were a great fair ruler who justly fought for the good of the entire land. I can see know that your nothing but a sexist coward who hides behind his egotistical mane because he thinks he can do anything because he is a man! Er…Lion. I know you also have magical powers and shit but the point remains valid. And because you won't, I will fight for the rights of all the creatures of Narnia."

Aslan growls at me. "You have no right to speak to me this way."

"I'll see you on the battle field." I storm out dramatically. If I wasn't an Ice Queen there would have been fire trailing behind me. I never saw Aslan as a sexist type, but I guess I should have seen it coming from a character written in the 50's.

"Wake up. Everyone wake up!" I shout trying to rally together my 'troops' leftover from the party last night.

"I have decided it is time for us to join together for a worthy cause. Not fighting for me to rule. No. Fighting for the equal judgment and opportunity of all of you. Ever since you were born you have been stereotyped into monsters who are pure evil. This is not true. You are just as kind and pure as any of Aslan's followers, so why should you be punished? Because you were born a hideous beast (no offense). So today we will fight for equality. To show them that we deserve an equal chance!"

My little speech appears to actually work. Shouts and hollers of approval echo in the cavernous halls. Everyone rushes forward to prepare for battle and I am swept up with them. I can't even think of how to prepare myself, I have never fought in any battle. I've only ever read or seen them on TV and in movies. Something tells me that's not a very accurate source either. And my heart pumps hard but for once I don't feel scared (even though I'm definitely in real danger now). I feel inspired. I guess my troops were really inspired too because I've barely finished locating where my wand has disappeared too when they've already assembled outside. I'm actually shocked to see they've lined up in perfect rows and appear very well trained. Lucky me.

We begin our march toward the battle field. It feels as if the steady stomping of the troops is my heart beat and it pulses through my body. It could be the excitement but I'm shaking. Before we can see the field, I hear the enemy. Aslan's troops. I never thought I'd be trying to fight against the protagonists, but this is necessary. I take a deep breath and then exhale slowly. I try to get my thoughts together.

What is Aslan's greatest weakness? That's easy, he doesn't have one. Not to mention both Peter and Edmund are basically invincible because they have plot protection. So how can we possibly win this? I bet if I can somehow get them separated and surrounded we could take them down one by one. But that's never going to work. This is just so frustrating! Why do we need to go to battle? Why can't Aslan just accept us?

I've got it. Aslan clearly won't listen, but maybe someone else will. What if I tried to negotiate with Susan, or the youngest sister, whatsherface? I bet they would listen. Maybe even Peter might at least consider my proposal. Now the hard part is making contact. I'll need a distraction that'll postpone the battle somehow. If I can stop both sides from fighting just long enough, then I'll have my chance. And I've got the perfect idea…