Leave Out All the Rest
Don't be afraid
I've taking my beating
I've shared what I've been
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you…
I put my hand on Demetri's shoulder to stop him as he approached Bella. "You said I could have the first round. It's only fair. I'll be dead soon enough and you'll have her for eternity." I had a plan worked out but I didn't know if it would work to Bella's benefit or make it worse for her. Either way, no matter her fate, I would not let them rape her. I prayed she would be a strong enough newborn to fend them of herself if I failed her.
Her eyes followed me as I moved towards her, stony. She looked away briefly when Chelsea released her, as per Demetri's orders. I reached out and caressed her neck as I pulled her near, kissing her forehead.
"So sweet," Chelsea cooed with malice.
I ignored her and focused all my attention on my Bella. "Don't be afraid, my love," I whispered, knowing full well that the others were listening in. "Remember the most important things we've learned about each other and trust me."
She gazed up at me in silence.
I had to get across my point that I was going to change her, here and now and she had to let go of everything human, instantly, if she were to protect herself. "Are you listening? Just trust me, Bella. Remember the time we spent with Alice."
A small smile appeared. Was she thinking of their friendship? I wanted her to realize that Alice was her sister now too.
"Emmett and Rosalie..."
Her hand moved to the necklace Rose had placed on her. Brother, sister...
I smiled and nodded ever so slightly. Should I not come out of this predicament, Bella would still be a Cullen. "You're one of us. Remember that. Most importantly, remember Jazz. Trust him." I nodded more visibly so that she would pay closer attention. "Trust Jazz and everything he's ever said to you. Leave out all the rest. Trust what you know." I couldn't very well tell her to remember everything we had shown her and everything Jazz had trained her to do as a newborn. I just hoped she understood what I wanted her to know.
I bent and placed one last kiss on my not so fragile human's lips. A soft whimper escaped her. I prayed once more, this time that she knew my love for her as I lowered my lips to her throat. "Leave out everything but Jasper, Bella. Trust me...now. Then Jazz. I love you so much. I'll save you."
Her arms went around my neck as I bit into her flesh. My body shuddered as her altered blood flooded my mouth and she clung to me. Her head tipped back further to allow me easier access as her fingers curled into my hair. This wasn't like the other time I had tasted her. She was much further along, practically inhuman already.
"Chelsea, did you not break her bond? Why is she not fighting him?" Demetri's angry voice rang out.
I paused as I smiled in understanding. This was an act. Bella knew she well on her way and was heeding her lessons on being a vampire. Lie. Fight dirty. Protect yourself. She was putting on the act of her life as she pretended not to be affected by Chelsea. She pretended that this was my first taste and I was enchanting her. Chelsea's hold over me broke suddenly as she panicked, thinking of how she was unable to fully break me - ever. She had only ever cut off my mind reading ability, not my emotional ties. Suck on that, bitch! My love for Bella and my family was stronger than her skill and my confidence that we'd get through this resurfaced.
"You've taken enough!" Demetri hauled me off Bella when he saw Chelsea weakening.
Bella dropped to the ground in a grand display of agony, her eyes holding mine. I held back my smile once more. This, also was not like the other times - she was fully aware of me and everything going on. An act. And a damned good one!
"What have you done?" Demetri demanded. "There's something off...her scent..." He lowered his face to her open wound where the very pale blood flowed. "Her blood! It's not...she's not human!"
'Bear!' A familiar voice rang out in my head just as Demetri turned on me. Emmett! Oh god...please let them find us! You can hunt later Em!
Demetri turned to face north even as I heard Emmett in my head. He had their scent. "The others are here!" he growled at Chelsea. "Do something!"
Her attention turned to me, instantly cutting of my internal connections again. No matter - a flash behind her let me know my brother was here. I picked up the scent of burning wood as the other two did and they were distracted long enough for Emmett to make his move. Rosalie was preparing. I flashed a cocky grin towards our enemies.
"You're outnumbered," I sneered at them as Emmett came up behind them.
Chelsea snickered and Demetri snorted in amusement. "Two on two. Where are your numbers?" Demetri strolled casually towards me. "This one's mate is busy cooking up a fire that will come in handy for Chelsea and me to toss your useless remains in later. And your mate? A pathetic half-breed. You couldn't even get that right!" He roared with a mocking laugh. "I don't know why the Volturi leaders hold you in such high regard! You're useless! You can't kill this one human and you couldn't even change her! Well, I've had enough. I'll finish her off myself."
Emmett was on him even before I could make a move. Demetri was a solid mass of inhuman rock but apparently no match for my bulking brother; and certainly not when he felt protective of his newest sister.
Rosalie came flying out of the woods when she sensed her man in a tussle, but seeing he had it under control, she went to Bella's side. Chelsea watched, frozen, as she realized she certainly was outnumbered. And then, as all bloodsucking vampires do, she put herself first and fled as Demetri's neck snapped.
Bella sat with Rosalie, watching our ritual of vampire disposal and after every piece of his evil body was burning in the fires of hell, I went to her. Kneeling before her, I put my hand out to touch her skin. I didn't get the rush of heat from her as I always had. She now felt like us; the same as when I touched any of my family. We didn't feel like icy granite to each other, and I wouldn't feel that way to Bella now. She smiled as she ran her own fingers over me, amazed at the way she now felt my flesh.
"How bad is it really - the pain?" I asked her softly.
She shrugged. "I'm just thirsty. Really fucking thirsty."
We all had a chuckle at her calm transformation.
"I know where we can get you some bear!" Emmett announced proudly. "I think that's the perfect first meal for our brave Bella."
As the four of us walked away from the site of the fire, on our way to hunt, we saw Chelsea stoically watching her partner burn. She glanced up at us and sneered. "She's mine."
Even as she moved, Bella was already gone - racing deeper into the woods, Chelsea on her heels. Go, Bella! I cheered in my head.
"Christ! This girl may be faster than you!" Emmett grinned as we fought to keep up. When we did, we saw her full motive. Thirst. She was stalking a bear as Chelsea watched in fascination, distracted from her own pursuit briefly. Not only a bear - a polar bear. Here. In the clearing of the woods, far from his usual home. It stood at its full height, towering over Bella. Her instinct may have led her to this massive prey, but she lacked hunting skills, thanks to my paranoia.
Emmett broke into a wide grin and rubbed his hands together. "Love a challenge!" He wrestled with the enormous white bear and then I moved in and put it out of its misery. I took Bella by the hand and sat her beside me as I bit into its flesh for her, offering an opening for her to drink from. Her instinct took over from there, not leaving a drop for her hunters.
Distracted by Bella and her first feeding (of a polar bear for fuck sake!), I didn't sense Chelsea coming up on me until she was at my throat, a thirst for revenge as her motive. Bella was the first to react. Standing and wiping her mouth, she dug her fingertip onto the wound I'd created on her throat, spilling the last few drops of her human blood.
"For you, bitch. Come get it while you can."
Chelsea's nostrils flared with the scent of her thinned blood and her temper flared at the taunt. She launched herself at Bella, was thwarted and came back at me. Emmett and Rose watched the dance with guarded amusement, ready to step in should we require their help.
We didn't.
Bella's newborn strength, having just quenched her insatiable thirst was unmatched. We all cringed hearing each of Chelsea's vertebrae snap as Bella peeled her off me.
"He's mine! You don't touch him!" She hissed into her ear, pointlessly. Chelsea's still opened eyes stared blankly as Bella re-enacted our disposal in the most matter-of-fact manner.
"Fuck!" Emmett whistles through his teeth. "That's one dangerous chick you got there, bro! Serene, yet feral. I've never seen a newborn like her."
"You've never seen a newborn trained by Jasper beforehand," she grinned as she wiped her hands on her jeans. "Um, a little help getting this to the fire? Dumb bitch thought she could put her hands on my man!" She grabbed onto Chelsea's head and carried it back to the other end of the clearing by the hair before tossing it into the flames.
Rose sucked in her lip and smirked with approval. "I like this girl. A lot."
Our family reunion was held back home, where we could re-settle, as though nothing happened. Only now we were eight. Eight, extremely unusual characters that, together, somehow seemed like an average, loving family. In all of our hearts, that's all we wanted to be. We'd had moments of amusement with our abilities, and times of duress brought on by our condition, but at the end of each day, year, decade… we just wanted to live like a normal family.
Carlisle did a full examination, astounded by the events that took place. He confirmed the transition was complete and aside from her ravenous thirst, she didn't suffer the same newborn maladies the rest of us had.
Jasper was particularly proud of how Bella handled herself facing our enemies. I was particularly grateful to him for spending the time with her in training. The bond with my newest brother strengthened with this experience and I would never again doubt him. The number of human lives he had taken in his early years was astounding, but forgivable. To me, his soul was as pure as when he was born a human.
"You can forgive Jazz for killing, but not yourself. Why?" Bella inquired as we unpacked together at home.
I had no reply to give. It didn't make sense, even to me. "Bella, I've wanted to ask you something..."
"Yeah, I'm still into you - even as a vampire," she smirked and slapped my ass playfully.
"Seriously...back in Manitoba, Chelsea broke our bond. But you still trusted me. Why?"
She left the box she was unpacking and came to sit on my lap. Arms around my neck, her new granite lips met mine, moving together perfectly. "You really don't know? I've trusted you since the beginning...well, almost...there was that period where I was sure you were messing with me. You were too perfect to want me. Anyway, I believe in you, Edward. When you told me to make my last human days how I wanted to spend eternity, I did. I spent them loving you. Loving my family, new and old. I spent those days believing in you above all, and learning to trust Jasper as he trained me. When you reminded me of that, I knew what you had in mind and I left all the shit behind." Her pale skin seemed to glow with the joy she felt, having this new beginning.
I stared at my Bella, proud and astonishingly even more amazed by her as a vampire than I was of her human form. "You know you're stuck like this forever now," I grinned. "Believing in me...loving me..."
"That's the idea," she grinned as she kissed me again.
"That still doesn't tell me how Chelsea failed," I reminded her when our lips parted.
"You can't break a bond like ours," she stated firmly. "Not even Chelsea. Besides...I blocked her." The coy smirk on her face made me groan in realization.
"You blocked her...that's why even when she lost focus, I couldn't read you. There was nothing. No grey clouds, no thoughts... A solid grey wall. Bella... I haven't been able to read you since then. Are you still blocking me?"
Her eyes flashed to me. I still wasn't used to their colour, now a golden honey with a dark red rim. She had to wear contacts when we were out - they stood out too much. A small price to pay, really. She was ready for re-entry into human population much more quickly than any of us were. She would be able to finish school here, with me and she'd even be able to see Renee.
"I'm not blocking you intentionally. Try now."
Nothing. I shook my head. "Just solid grey." A possibility shot into my mind and I called for Jasper.
"Try to alter her mood," I suggested. "Bella, just relax. Don't block him."
Jasper frowned after several moments. "I can't get through. I've suggested everything...anger, elation, fear, sadness." He looked at me thoughtfully. 'Her special skill?'
Smirking, I nodded my agreement. "Looks like you're no average vampire, Bella."
She arched her eyebrows in interest. "What - this isn't a fluke?"
"Not a fluke."
"You realize, Bella, this skill of yours makes you stronger than the rest of us. We're all susceptible to others' skills - but you...are not." Jasper gave her an encouraging wink. "She can block the Volturi! Amazing!"
"She is completely amazing. I've been telling you that all year," I grinned.
"You'll learn to control it, as you get more accustomed to everything else," I explained to her after Jasper left. "The only issue I see with leaving it alone is that Alice won't be able to see you in her visions."
"That's awesome! Then she won't see me doing her brother...repeatedly...in a multitude of creative ways..."
I didn't have to read her thoughts to know she was going to be insatiable with her desire for sex as well as her thirst for blood. After roaming this planet for a century as a virgin, I wasn't about to complain or deny her one single pleasure.
My fragile human evolved into a strong, beautiful immortal, though just as loving and honest as she was in life. Her devotion to me and the family I adored was staggering. It was as if she were always one of us. I didn't waste much time wondering why...if it was because of her last moments fully human, loving me and resisting Chelsea. Was this another vampire skill or was she simply like Esme, with an endless amount of love to share? Whatever the reason, she fulfilled me. I finally had a true purpose in life - loving this wondrous girl; making her as happy as she made me.
Nearly a century spent hating myself, with journals to prove it - it took merely one year to change my life around. Esme had been right all along. Love, was the reason to go on. Love was the most valuable thing one could ever possess. Human or immortal. Fully understanding now, I could leave my anguish and eternal self-loathing for my sins behind. I could move on. Happily. I had survived my numerous, pointless suicide attempts, for this. Bella made me truly believe that I had not condemned her by loving her; I had saved her from her life of Grey. I couldn't see inside her head, but her eyes told me each second of the day that she felt vibrant and full of love. No more Grey days.
I proposed to Bella on the first anniversary of me saving her. She accepted, of course. And on the first anniversary of our marriage, and every one thereafter, we read aloud to each other from my new journals; the ones that began with our new life together. The life I prayed to have for eternity. Volumes of words written to declare my love for a girl who's thoughts, to me, would be forever grey.
Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are…
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Leave out all the rest…
(Linkin Park)
A/N ~ I was determined NOT to use this song at all, but it snuck in anyway. :P
Thanks to all who stuck it out and read to the end. And to those who took the time to review - mmmwah! Every comment made an impact and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
In lieu of an epilogue, an alternate ending will follow... soon-ish. ;)
Cheers! XX ~ SR