A/N ~ Although this is the alternate ending to this story here, it was the original ending in my first draft. Some things were a little different in that draft – Bella's gradual change was prolonged throughout their senior year in high school. Their encounter with the Volturi took place in the winter, not on a cross-country chase with a freak encounter with a polar bear. And they face them alone. Darker, brooding Edward is back but there's still a HEA in place. I hope you enjoy it. Love to hear which one works better for you, as readers. Many thanks, again. Enjoy the final chapter of Forever Grey.

No More Sorrow

I had hope
I believed
But I'm beginning to think that I've been deceived…

"Come along, Edward. I'd say it's time to feast, but there is something very wrong with this human. I'd say there's not much human about her anymore, really. I'm right, aren't I? Edward?"

I refused to reply to his taunts, staring stubbornly at the ground near Bella.

He snickered and lifted my chin to face him. Our noses were millimetres apart. "You've already tasted her. Did it excite you? Was she...yummy?"

Chelsea cackled. She had Bella's arms twisted behind her back, gripping them tightly. With her free hand, she stroked Bella's cheek, her neck, her collarbone...

A hiss escaped me, directed at Chelsea.

Demetri took great pleasure in my torment. "Perhaps we should let our dear friend Chelsea play with her first, since you've already taken away our BLOOD!" The word and his venom spewed out of his mouth, into my face. He received a less muted hiss. My rage was mounting at an incredible rate.

"But no... sweet Chelsea sometimes doesn't know her own strength. This little toy of yours may not have any blood, but her bones are not like ours. Not yet. They're still quite fragile, are they not? She still feels pain?"

He had drifted from me as he spoke, inching closer to Bella. In a flash he was in front of her, his retched hands on her face, breathing in her unique scent. "So deliciously warm..." he moaned in ecstasy. "I simply can't resist..."

Neither could I. I launched myself at him, pulling him ten feet away from her. "Run, Bella! Go! Get as far away as you can and don't stop for anyone! Remember what I told you! We can't be trusted!"

Her bones may have been breakable and her flesh, still warm from the unique mixture in her veins of her blood and my venom, but we had been working on her vampire running. She was fast. Damned fast!

Demetri ordered Chelsea after her as he took me on. I was not bulky and muscular like Emmett, but when provoked, I could be more lethal. My rage made me so. A guttural growl came from me as I flew into him. Both girls heard the clamouring boom as we collided and looked back.

'The girl...she's far more interesting than this one!'

NOOOOO! I leapt onto his back. "You...can't...HAVE HER!"

His head hung limply on his shoulders when his neck snapped. We both fell to the ground and in a fury; I tore him apart as easily as a child would destroy a tower of blocks. I was choking on my gasps of breath, sobbing and shaking from head to toe. Not my Bella. Please god, take me! "Take ME!" I screamed into the desolate night air.

Once Demetri's remains were fully disposed of, I followed the footprints in the snow. They would lead me to Bella. Please, let them lead me to Bella. I cursed myself for not having honed my tracking skills. The artic wind was gusting and pulling away any hint of her scent that I picked up. It was also doing a fine job of wiping clear any prints her or Chelsea left behind. Standing in the frozen tundra, I was completely lost.

I don't know how much time was spent wandering aimlessly, searching for my love, who was surely lost herself. Or frozen. Could she die from the elements still? I had no idea and the thought of it drove me slowly mad. It felt like a second eternity, my search. Not knowing her fate was the worst. I dreaded finding her body, but I hated the thought of her wandering, like me – scared, alone and unable to control herself. The only thing worse than either of these two possibilities, was if Chelsea had her.

My madness overtook me when I found the bear. The polar bear Alice had warned us of. It lay motionless on blood-soaked snow. I felt certain this was the remains of Bella's first hunt. Had she been injured during the fight with him? If she had shed much blood, even as diluted as it was, I would pick up the scent. There was nothing detectable to me. "Bella," I whispered. "Are you out there? Please god," I begged on my knees, my arms around the carcass, and my fingers in his great fur coat. "Please save her. I'm sorry! I'm sorry for all I've done! But I love this girl - that can't be wrong! It can't be wrong..."

Rising and stepping away from the great white bear, I spread my arms to the heavens. "It's my fault for loving her - not hers! She did nothing! She was only ever honest and pure...save her, please... Take me..."

As it had been for the past 90 years, He showed me no mercy. I still existed. As much as I begged and prayed for Him to send me to burn in hell and let Bella live out her existence with the Cullens, I still existed - in as much as I could without my purpose in life. My Bella.

"Edward? Dude, come on! You're really starting to freak me out. And we're vampires. We don't get freaked out." Jasper stood over me, his trademark smartass smirk in place. "Alice has been in and out of that crazy trance for days, you're locked in here...what is it? What are you writing?"

His words slowly sunk in and I looked around. I was in an unfamiliar room with stacks of books around me; on every surface and covering most of the floor. I looked down at the desk I sat at. The pen in my hand was still perched over my script. They weren't books. They were journals. My journals. The fog cleared from my head and I realized Jazz had said we'd been at this for days - Alice and I.

Frantically, I flipped through pages of my journals... She feels so warm. Inside. It's like she's my sun and I'm inside her very core...

She forgave me. I took her to say her goodbyes to Riley...

She has part of me? Inside her? In her own blood! And she's strong and beautiful and utterly amazing... My fragile little human... Bella...

I've decided I can't - no, I don't want to go on like this for eternity without love; without my Bella...

She came to my house today. My home. My family opened their hearts to her and she accepted them. Just as she accepts me. No questions... She can't know! I won't hurt her that way...

I'm falling in love with this tiny human. God help me...

Grey/Bella was so vulnerable up there and those fools laughed! She is far superior to any one of those Neanderthals, and they made her feel useless. Her mind, the way it works when I see through the clouds - it's beautiful...

I avoided that guitar girl today. I saw her at school. She's too curious. I could get sloppy...

In the most boring of all boring towns, I stumbled across the most interesting human being I've ever met. She told member name was Grey. With an 'e'. She lied. She doesn't lie otherwise. Odd...

"Where's Alice?" I kicked over the last stack of journals, having read enough to know I hadn't imagined this perfect love with this girl named Bella. It came directly from Alice.

"Hey!" Jasper held onto my arm and gazed into my eyes. "Easy now. You know Alice and her visions..."

"Jazz, don't fuck with my mind right now! I need to think!"

"Alright!" He replied smoothly, removed his hand from me. "I'm just saying that she gets things a little confused sometimes. It may not be like you think." His eyes moved from stack to stack, taking in the vast amount of writing I had done. "It may not be anything like the, what…? The century you wrote about? What is it, Edward? Alice clammed up. Does she see us losing a family member? Is that it?"

"In a way… a new family member." I gave him a very abridged version of finding the love of my life and losing her. His mind showed me he understood. He would be a mental case without Alice, as well. He also understood how I felt tormented by the knowledge that I dragged her into our lives.

"Look, you know the way she works. She might be seeing something that happens 50 years from now. A lot can change. You can make things different, Edward. That's the beauty of Alice's misjudgement sometimes – you can get an alternate ending of your choice."

I looked at my brother carefully; the new respect I had for him from my scribbling of my sister's vision still fresh in my mind. He would understand. "If I had it to do all over – Jazz… What should I do? I've never imagined a love like this. Not for me. Never for me. My weakness is shown in these." I indicated my journals. "If only I could leave her alone, she'll live."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, his head bent low. "I can't answer that for you. All I know is that I would have done anything to make Alice mine."

I smirked at him, with a slight chuckle. "As if you had a choice. She saw you coming, Jazz. You didn't stand a chance."

He smiled, thinking back to the day they met. They'd been together every day since. "Okay, let's put it this way – I would have gladly given my human life for Alice, if those were the circumstances in which we met. My life with her… hell, with all of you… is a far cry better than the short human life I had. This is living, man. I would choose this over not having Alice."

Esme was waiting at the top of the stairs when Jasper and I left the room, anxious, to say the least.

"Jasper, honey – thank you! I knew you could talk him out. Edward! My goodness, you've had me so worried." Her tiny arms went around me. Though she was half my size, her hugs always engulfed me. They made me feel as though I was a baby in her loving arms. "I'm so glad you've come out of your room. You, my dear son, should not be a recluse. You have so much to offer the world. Don't ever lock yourself away."

I smiled down at her with sincere affection. I understood her better now, as well. She had been right about love. I wanted to tell her so, but it simply hurt too much now that… I gave my head a shake. I hadn't lost my love! I hadn't gotten her killed or taken her soul! I NEVER had her.

Then why did I feel so lost and empty?

"It's a perfect day for a run, honey. We've settled here before, remember? But it was before Jasper and Alice were with us. This is all new to them."

"Where are we exactly?" Now that I was coming to grips with the reality of my non-loss, I was hoping that a new location, or a re-visited one as the case was, would pull me back into reality for good.

"Forks!"

Jasper's words of advice stayed with me. Sometimes they seemed like a challenge, mostly they haunted me. Seeing the kind of love that I now knew I could feel meant too much to me. For the girl who could inspire such love, I would sacrifice my own eternal happiness.

It was a gloomy year for me, as I'm sure it was for my family as they endured my enhanced moodiness. It was worse than ever before, having glimpsed what my life could be like. It was also riddled with anxiety. I played the role of sullen loner here. Not a stretch. But it gave me more than ample time to sit and observe the students. At first, they seemed par for the course… dim-witted, self-centered bores. Same ol', same ol'. It wasn't merely that these kids were mirror images of the useless humans at any other school, I knew them. Not just their thoughts; I knew their names, their faces and their voices.

Jessica. She was torn between an attraction to me and her lifelong crush on Mike. Yes, Jessica and Mike. I had no designs on licking her anywhere this time around. Nor would I flatten him – unless he provoked me. Jasper was keeping me very sedate in public, but I could still go into a rage if pushed.

Angela – I had a soft spot for her. She had been so sweet with Grey/Bella, when she desperately needed a friend. This Angela seemed just as honourable. She was also one of the only students who didn't spend a fair portion of each day analyzing me and my family, cracking jokes at our expense or spreading mostly ridiculous gossip. Same ol', same ol', indeed.

There were others I recognized, though I hadn't gotten to know them. All in all, there were enough similarities to put me on edge anywhere in Forks. Thank god they didn't have a music shop.

Leaning on the side of my car at lunch on the first day of our second year at Forks High, I watched Emmett and Rosalie stop to share a passionate kiss before entering the cafeteria. Alice and Jasper followed behind; my sister chatting along merrily, full of energy. I snickered at Jasper's stiff appearance in comparison to breezy Alice. Having just spent two months only in the company of other vampires, he was out of practice appearing human. A little comic relief couldn't hurt though.

I envied them; all four. So it was with reluctance that I followed along after them, taking my place at the Cullen table, again. Yet another place where we could pretend to eat without worrying about others in close proximity. No one dared come near us, let alone sit with us.

Fine by me.

I stretched my legs out as I leaned back in my chair, hands folded behind my head.

'That girl who's in love with her own boobs is staring at you!'

"Alice," I replied in a voice so low it was undetectable to any human. "You have such a splendid way of expressing yourself."

'She talking about the chick that thinks every dick in the room is pointed at her?'

I held in my snicker. "Rose, I'm certain that there are three that aren't pointed at her. Otherwise, she's pretty accurate. Oh, but the few, aside from us who aren't currently dreaming of pounding it into her – well, they're thinking of you."

She smiled at me as she hugged Emmett's arm and cuddled into him. 'Thanks, Edward.'

"There's that new girl everyone's talking about," Emmett nodded, ever so slightly towards a table at the far end. 'Cute! She looks shy. Bet she's a firecracker in the sack!'

I snickered and started to turn slightly to see who the fuss was about. My head was filled with ramblings about 'the new girl'.

'The sexy brunette.'

'The police chief's daughter.'

'Seems nice…quiet though.' At least she wasn't getting bad reviews.

'Isabella.'

My head snapped around. Bella. Here; in Forks. Her eyes flashed away, looking down at her lunch when they met mine. She had been staring at me. Why? She couldn't possibly know I loved her more than anyone or anything in this world! She didn't even know me.

It's not her, I told myself. She simply looks like Grey/Bella. Alice is confused, just like Jasper suggested; she saw this girl and put her into the visions I took from her. It's. Not. Her.

I left the cafeteria hastily to get to my class and avoid the new girl. The girl who shared the same name as the girl I adored. And the same face. And body. Hair…

I sat in deep, silent thought waiting for class to begin. But there she was – at the doorway, entering this classroom! It's NOT her! I closed my eyes, resisting temptation to stare at her. God, how I'd seen that face every day in my mind for years – and yet not, apparently. The madness I wrote of in my journals over those first days in forks had surely taken full hold of me now. I didn't know what to believe at this point.

Without my vision, my sense of smell was enhanced and as she took another step in I was immersed in her. Bella! Her scent was stronger, even more alluring than the one I had dreamed of. The urge to taste her and prove to myself that this WAS my Bella - my soul mate, my true love - engulfed me and I ceased breathing as she took the only empty place in the classroom. Next to me. Blocking all senses as I dreamed of the ways in which I wanted to taste her, the class seemed endless. I bolted the moment it ended.

I confronted Alice later in the day. She confirmed my thoughts – this was the girl she saw with me. The girl I would love for eternity. I spent several tortured days locked in my room until Esme pleaded with me to put an end to it. It was hurting her. I was hurting her. Esme deserved better and so, for her, I emerged.

"Edward, I know… Alice told me…"

I rolled my eyes and sulked. Alice had one big fucking mouth.

"Honey, listen to me – we can make it work. Somehow. All of us, together. We'll make the changes we need to in order for you to have the joy you experienced, without the loss. Edward, you've been alone long enough honey. You've paid the price for the lives you've taken. No one would deny that you deserve to be happy yourself, for once. You're a good person. And you have so much love to give this girl."

Esme's words sunk in when I read the last journal entry for the thousandth time. Esme was right about love in my dream. Esme knew love; understood love – more than anyone. As I advised Bella in my dream to trust Jasper, I would trust Esme. I would let myself love this girl, who surely was my Bella. But I would begin anew, letting her make all the choices from the start.

"Hello," I greeted her in class when I returned to school. "I'm Edward Cullen. Bella, right?"

Her smile brought that old familiar lump to my throat. It wasn't an excess venom blockage – it was emotion. All of it flooded back to me as we slowly got to know each other. Sure, some of the details of Alice's vision were off – she lived with her dad, there was no brother and she may be lonely but certainly not depressed. This was Bella, nothing like Grey. Just my Bella.

Those journals are locked away, just like my thwarted venture into love for the first time. I didn't dwell on the details, rather kept them deeply stowed for future reference to avoid making the same mistakes. That love, though pure and so very real to me, was a dream. As I moved on to love this Bella, in reality, my chronicled love would be forever Grey.

No more sorrow
I've paid for your mistakes
Your time is borrowed
Your time has come to be replaced…

(Linkin Park)