Chapter 22 (A)

Debriefing

(Ziva's POV)

"Ziva, C'mon, can you wake up for me?"

I cannot get my mouth to utter the words, "I would rather just stay here and sleep, thank you very much."

"Zeee-vah . . ." I feel something light tickle my ear. I open my eyes to see Tony standing over me with a take out napkin from some fast food place or another in the place where my ear was.

I growl as I roll out of the car and as I start to stand. The last thing I hear is, "I've got you." Tony takes my weight and carries me up the steps. I should resist but he's enjoying playing the hero and I'm tired enough to humor him.

Next time my eyes open, I am tucked in my bed, wearing my work clothes sans shoes, and it is dark. I walk into the living room and see Tony, asleep on the couch with the TV on. It is 8:00, so I slept for nearly 4 hours. I do not see any signs that Tony has eaten dinner so he must have been napping for quite a while as well.

I turn off the television and sit on the coffee table and study him. People look so much younger and innocent in sleep. Perhaps it is the vulnerability of the moment. There is no doubt that he is generally found to be handsome, but I did not think so when I first met him. I found him to be arrogant, shallow and crude. How much has changed in 4 years. I know that I find him attractive now, but I could not pinpoint the time when that change occurred. As the shallow facade eroded, I saw a different man. I cannot help but smooth his hair as I think of a boy who had not been tucked in by his parents, at least since he was 8 if he ever was at all. And wonder how he could have developed the strong tender arms that carried me in and tucked me in bed. Some parents give their children affection and are very intentional about building character, and yet he became this over time despite his upbringing. Maybe Abby is right, we are good together because we are too screwed up for anyone else to handle. I smile and he opens his eyes.

"What?" He rubs his eyes and smiles at my expression.

"Nothing, did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. You?" He wipes his hand down his face.

"Yes, thank you for tucking me in. I guess I was more worn out from work than I realized. That was exhausting."

"I don't know. I had a pretty good day. I got to escort this hot exotic woman around the office then I took her to her place and we slept together. Just try to top that one!"

I hit the smirk off his face with a throw pillow. "This time we were technically sleeping in two different rooms. And by the way, I do not appreciate you telling McGee that you took my shirt off." Two more pillow hits and he responds with short squeals.

"I let him know that you had some scars so he didn't freak out if he ever saw them. That way you would avoid another annoying soul-baring conversation down the line. See, I was only thinking of you!"

"Yes, you are very noble."

"He asked how I managed to see them, and besides I didn't hear you deny it!"

"I have to admit baffling McGee is worth tarnishing my reputation. Anyway, he needed the distraction."

My stomach growls, so he stands and stretches, "Hey, have you had anything to eat yet? I'm starving."

"I figured you would be. How about walking to the deli down the road? I feel like getting out and stretching my legs after sleeping away the evening."

"Yeah, sure, I'll just grab my shoes." He is still wearing the jeans and sweatshirt that he put on this morning. The fact that he had not changed told me what little faith he had in me being allowed to stay at work.

We walk a ways in silence, hands in our pockets. He puts his hand on my shoulder as we enter the shop, which I believe it is becoming a protective reflex. We order and sit in the corner booth, out of earshot of the few customers sitting at the bar.

"So, I'll only ask one time, and if you answer honestly that will be the last time tonight."

Knowing what was coming, I saved him the effort. "Tony, I cannot even begin to evaluate how I am. I am exhausted, I am relieved, I am nervous about being treated differently, and I have a lot to think about." I hope the exasperation in my voice is enough to quell his desire to pursue it.

He casually looks down at his chips, pops a few in his mouth and answers, "Fair enough."

"And you? The truth please." Even though I am talked out I can tell that Tony needs to be prodded.

"I'm tired and was glad to get out of there." He looks me in the eye. "I was really worried about you going in today." There is a pause before he brings his attention back to his meal. "But it turns out you are one tough cookie. I might not have heard your conversations, but what I observed was that even though you were the one hurting, you made sure that you put everyone else at ease. So basically, you were taking care of them. If I went through half of what you did I'd have been committed to some psych ward by now, curled up in a ball, rather than making everyone else feel warm and fuzzy inside."

I looked down. More compliments. Why am I so repulsed by them?

"Tony, you have no way of knowing how you would react. Anyway, you have been through enough of your own trials, I often wonder how you turned out so well."

He smiles as he leans back and crosses his arms, "So, you think I turned out well?" He apparently has no problems accepting compliments. I try to look thoughtful despite his cheesy grin. "Not as well as say . . . .McGee or Palmer, but considering the adolescent you were when I met you, yes, I would say you have come a long way."

"Palmer? Oh, that is so low!"

The rest of the meal we have conversations free from the events of the past few days. It is blessedly relaxed and familiar. Once we arrive back at my place I open the door, he pauses waiting for an invitation or a send off. I wave him in "I believe I promised you more musicals tonight, if you are still up for it. You do need to work tomorrow so I do not want to keep you too late."

He saunters in, "Yeah, I don't think Gibbs would bat an eye at us coming in a little late anyway. I'll just blame it on your frail emotional state."

"Oh, you are so dead!" I twist his arm behind his back and say sweetly in his ear "Now who is the frail one? I believe you need to say 'Grandfather,' yes?"

"Uncle!"

"Close enough." I let go and gave him a raised eyebrow daring him to call me frail again. "I am going to change if you could get the movie set where we left off last night." When I come back out he is sitting on one end of couch with one arm draped around the back and the remote on the table but the TV had not been switched on. I sit on the couch and pull my legs up underneath me.

"Ready?"

His eyes soften, "Come here." He pulls me towards him, I lay my head on his chest and he puts his arm around me and starts the movie where we left off last night. Was that just last night? Wow, this has been a long day. I have no desire to sing along. The last thing I remember is hearing "A Few of my Favorite Things." We did not discuss Tony staying, but I had guessed the conversation in the bullpen consisted of Gibbs asking Tony to keep an eye on me a little longer.

I wake up in the middle of the night and we are in the same position. I know his back is going to be killing him, especially after carrying me up the steps. As I debate whether to wake him or not, I start studying him again and wonder what we are doing, what we are and if this is the limit of what we will become. I think Tony was wise in saying that it is a discussion for another day. For now I am content. I snuggle back into his chest and drift off again.