Author's Note: Hey! Since it's been about a year or two since I've submitted something useful to , I decided to make an On A Roll series. It's made up of all the oneshots, crackshots, or anything else I've made this week for (Which is really little). Hope you enjoy! This is the fifth of the On A Roll series.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters. They all belong to their respective owners whom I highly respect. I'm broke, so I obviously don't earn any profit from this.

Lelouch of the Condo 11

Chapter Seventeen: The Cat and the Rat

Anya took pictures of Shirley's new, or rather, newly-bought, old fat rat.

Shirley smiled proudly. The little creature was curled up in a ball, sleeping soundly. Rivalz poked it.

"Shirley," Rivalz scoffed once the rat stayed asleep "Are you sure that thing is alive?"

Shirley glared at him and nodded once Anya's phone flashed. "Of course he is! Isn't he adorable?"

Milly cooed at the rat. She clasped her hands together and grinned at it. Lloyd examined the rodent, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Shirley replied with another wide grin. "Scabbers. I got him from a friend. He said that I could have little Scabbers. Scabbers is old though, so I really take care of him," (A/N: Guess where I got little Scabbers from now.)

CC studied the pizza slice in her hand before taking a bite. She chewed slowly before facing Lulu.

"I heard Shirley got a rat. A fat, lazy, old one." She snickered before the door slammed open.

Lulu gasped and fell out of his chair.

"REROSHOO!" Charles screamed, yelled and butchered Lulu's ears as he entered.

CC smiled, and threw a shirt at him. Lulu recognized it as the one CC was looking at for Charles five chapters ago.

Charles caught it and slung it over his shoulder. He waved enthusiastically at CC, who waved back with boredom and pointed a finger in Lulu's direction.

"Eh?" was all Lulu could muster.

"My son," Charles began, dragging Lulu out of the door. "FOLLOW ME, YOUR WONDERFUL FATHER! We must greet everyone. HURRAH~!"

And that was how Lulu landed face-first down the stairs, and ended up on the lobby area.

Charles picked his son up and asked where Nunna was.

"She's in school." Lulu replied, his words accompanied by a glare. Charles failed to notice the glare.

"Ah, such a shame. I wish your sister was here, so that we could have another family reunion! Oh, and dear Cornelia is coming." Charles said, dragging Lulu towards the others once more.

"WHAT?" But poor Lulu was ignored.

Everyone waved or greeted Charles and Lulu. Gino's flowery aura glowed and his mouth hung open, forming a huge smile. Milly and Lloyd had the famous Asplund-Ashford smile plastered onto their faces (Lloyd pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose). Shirley was cradling Scabbers, who was still curled into a ball, asleep. Rivalz approached Lulu and stayed beside him. Kallen nodded. Kaguya was not present at the moment. Tianzi was petting Scabbers while Xingke glared at the rat, as if saying, "If you dare bite or hurt or touch or do whatever to Tianzi, I'll slice you up into little pieces because I can do that with my sword and if I do that you will die and you will regret ever daring to bite or hurt or touch or whatever to my precious milady."

Arthur raised a sleepy eye to the direction of the newcomers, and Suzaku smiled.

"BWAHA! Hello all, I am here with my son, Lelouch." Charles announced proudly, patting Lulu's back a little too hard and causing the latter to fall.

"Good afternoon, Charles." Anya greeted, eyes glued to her phone as she texted.

At that instant, Scabbers woke up and scurried away, frightened. Arthur had leaped out of Suzaku's arms and started to chase the poor rat. Scabbers ended up under Jeremiah Gottwald's counter, who yelled in surprise and leaped over the tabletop, then ran away.

He was soon forgotten. No, sorry, more precisely, immediately forgotten.

Arthur lay on his stomach and reached out his front paw, trying to squeeze through the small space. Scabbers shook in fright, eyes wide open.

"ARTHUR, GET AWAY FROM THERE! SCABBERS, I'LL RESCUE YOU!" Charles yelled, running towards the cat and the rat. (A/N: There was a cat in a hat. Does anyone want green eggs and ham?)

Arthur dove away skillfully, and just right in time. As Charles reached the counter, he slammed into it, and Scabbers ran away, heading in the direction of the others.

"Scabbers!"

"Arthur!"

There was a squeak.

There was a pause.

Arthur sat on his hind legs, Scabber's tail trapped under the cat's paw. Shirley carefully released Arthur's grip on her pet, and cradled Scabbers in her arms again.

Arthur stared at Charles.

Charles stared back.

"Arthur?" Suzaku said, slowly approaching Arthur, but the latter...glared at the former as he came nearer.

"Silly hoomin, ai no longer yur slave." (Silly human, I am no longer your slave.) Arthur spoke proudly but irritatedly. Everyone raised a brow. Anya took pictures.

"Arthur," Suzaku muttered, surprised "You can talk? Why didn't you do that before?"

"Becauz," Arthur replied, malice glinting in his eyes. He was getting prouder and prouder. "Yu are all stupidz." (Because, you are all stupid.)

Lloyd flung his arms into the air. "At least we have correct grammar."

"DIS ALL ABOUT OPPOSABLE TUMBS, IZN'T IT?" Arthur roared, or rather, squeaked. (This is all about opposable thumbs, isn't it?)

"NO, MY BEST CAT BUDDY! WE JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW SMART YOU WERE!" Gino argued, flowery aura glowing. Arthur glared.

"Of course yu didn't know. 'Tis becauz all of ye hoomins ar stupid." (Of course you didn't know. It's because all of you humans are stupid.) He retorted. Kallen turned her head sharply.

"What did you say, you furball with a god complex?" She spat out. Arthur narrowed his eyes.

"Yu herd meh. I said all ye hoomins ar stupid. 'Specially yu." (You heard me. I said all of you humans are stupid. Especially you.)

CC arrived. She had gone unnoticed, and tugged on Lulu's sleeve. He turned his gaze to her.

"Oh dear," she said with fake worry. A smirk soon followed her words and gave her thoughts about the situation away. "There's going to be a catfight."

Kallen lunged, Arthur dodged and the two began pulling tails, scratching faces, kicking, baring fangs/teeth and the like.

Gino was silent.

"OH NO!" Rivalz exclaimed. "Gino isn't cheering for anyone. The world is going to end! What will happen to the passage of time, the fabric of the universe, the answers to all questions and every single unimportant-" (Anya kicked him) "Every single thing!"

"OH, WORRY NOT!" Charles yelled, getting into a heroic pose "I SHALL STOP THIS!" And he ran towards Kallen and Arthur.

Lulu face palmed. CC smirked.

"This is so embarrasing. My father is so annoying."

"At least you have me. And besides, he's normal if you look at everyone else." CC replied, hugging his arm. She snickered.

Kallen and Arthur dodged. Charles skidded and crashed into a few empty tables and chairs.

"See? Ai wuz rite. Hoomins ar stupid. 'Specially dee bigger dey get." (See? I was right. Humans are stupid. Especially the bigger they get.) Arthur commented, before yawing and then curling into a ball, standing atop a high ledge.

"Come down here, you stupid moronic furball with a god-complex!" Kallen waved her fist at Arthur's direction. The cat merely snorted.

He lazily opened an eye. "No, yu stupidly laud hoomins." (No, you stupid loud humans.)

Suzaku whimpered.

"Well, REROSHOO, MY SON, FAREWELL!" Charles waved, exiting the condominium building, laughing madly.

A vein throbbed in Lulu's head.

"Goodbye, dad."

CC stared at Lulu. He raised an eyebrow in question.

"That was the first time you ever called Charles 'dad'. You always either called him 'father' or 'my huge loud and insane parent'." She answered monotonously, but the curiosity was still evident on her face.

Lulu shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess this was the first time I ever felt that huge loud and insane man to be my father."

CC smiled at him. She knew the multiple hidden meanings behind his statement.

I was surfing through icanhazcheezburger (dot) com, chapter 17 of Luluofcondo11 still unwritten, when an idea struck me. Arthur speaking LOLcat! BWAHA! That was how this idea was born. Of course, I was also reading HP and PoA (Prisoner of Azkaban), and the scene where Scabbers and Crookshanks were...not getting along also gave me the idea. I was also supposed to name Shirley's little 'pet' Peter "Scabbers" Pettigrew (complete with Kallen asking, "Why so long? Won't "Scabbers" suffice?), but, no.

And yes, I do know that Arthur is male, hence, the name Arthur. But he's a cat. A cute kitty cat. And Kallen's the female. Catfight. Insults and violence.

I thank the new reviewers, and the old ones for reading and taking a little bit of their lifetime to read and review this story. Thank you, once again. I am aware that I'm wasting your life by making such a long Author's Note.

I'm done with this chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed this. This is for you. I wish for you to click the glowing but not so shiny button labeled 'Review this Story/Chapter'. It will make me very happy.

^_^ Please read and review. Don't just read and run.