Chapter Seven: G

G is for Grateful

Elanor is so very grateful to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

She is grateful for many reasons. How he searched long and hard for her when he sensed her capture. How he went after her and bought her freedom when he finally found her. How he cared for her and treated her wounds.

But what touches her most is how sensitive he is to her needs. He always makes sure that she knows when he has entered the same room as her. He moves slowly and deliberately around her, careful to keep his hands in sight and to keep a careful distance from her. He is patient with her despite the fear that still blooms within her sometimes, and when she struggles he is always there to help. He never raises his voice or uses sarcasm or anything negative; his voice is always soft and tender when he speaks to her, and he only says encouraging things or asks concerned questions.

She knows that he didn't need to do all of this for her. His survival is more important than her own; a surviving Jedi Master to train the next generation is far better than a half-trained, broken Jedi apprentice.

But she also knows that to not do this would be to go against his personality. Her memories have started to come back as the blanks in her day have started fading, and she remembers his personality from when they last met during the Clone Wars – warm, full of gentle humor, exasperation towards Anakin, and many other things that makes her feel comfortable around him.

And she remembers what characterized Master Kenobi most – his devotion to his duty. She knows that he was considered one of the examples of the ultimate Jedi. And now she knows why he was considered that.

He is kind to her. He was modest about his accomplishments. He is always centered in the Force – as far as she can tell, anyway. He treats her like an equal, and cares for her without reservation or hesitation.

And yet, for all of his knowledge and wisdom and power, she can also tell that he is completely unaware of the effect he had on the Jedi Order – and now, on her.

At first, she was startled when he seemed to comfort her by reaching out and touching her hair or taking her hands or squeezing her shoulder gently. Her late Master did not do things like that, and her aversion to touch makes the gentle contacts feel even more alien.

But after a while she relaxes. She knows that he has grown used to caring for her now, and she saw the comradeship between him and Jedi Skywalker. She knows that it is his habit to reach out and offer physical comfort. It is his way of saying that he understands her struggle, and will respectively keep his distance, but will also be there if she needs him.

And even more so now, because she is still scared to use the Force.

Master Kenobi does not press her for this. He also doesn't bring up her reluctance to use or lightsaber, or ask her about what happened.

He simply acts normally and gracefully around her. He doesn't treat her like glass, but she knows that he is there, watching and waiting to step forward and offer her help if she needs it. He lets her speak on her own terms, and is understanding and non-judgmental. Around him, she is not afraid to ask him a question or voice an opinion.

Because every time he will turn around and give that same gentle smile and give her his full attention to answer her question or explain why or what.

Elanor is grateful to Obi-Wan Kenobi for so many reasons, and yet she has no idea how to tell him that.

G is for General

Obi-Wan Kenobi was a Senior General in the Grand Army of the Republic.

He has seen the worst and the best of war. He has seen hopeless bloodshed and joyous miracles. He has experienced and suffered and undergone the extremes of torture – physically and emotionally and mentally.

But all of that, all of that experience and wisdom – it does not help him now.

It has seemingly completely drained away, leaving behind a raw recruit who must go off of instinct and reflex. Even the Force does not help him now.

Every time Elanor falters, it takes all of his self-control not to leap to her side and reassure her. He knows that she must heal in her own time, but that wisdom flees from him the instant he is caught in the moment, and he is forced to restrain himself.

Every time she winces in pain, it takes all of his self-control not to force her to sit down and rest. To recover her strength, pain comes along with it.

It is the only way.

But as always, it takes everything he has to hold this reflex back.

And every time she draws back from him, her eyes flickering in fear, his heart twists in pain. This he cannot stop, no matter what he tells himself. No wisdom helps him in this.

It is during those times that he wonders why the Force puts her through so much agony. He knows why he suffers – he has had many faults and failures throughout his life, and he knows that he is paying for them.

But she is young and innocent – there is nothing she could have possibly done to earn this.

It is taking all of Obi-Wan's trust in the Force to calm down that particular, nagging question. He is forced to tell himself that the Force has a plan for everyone, and he must trust in it.

Even if it pains him.

But even without the Force, he knows what she suffers from. She has been gravely injured, and even though her body is healing nicely, it is the damage to her soul that causes her to shy away from her, that causes the fear to rise in her eyes, that causes her to flinch from him sometimes.

He wishes he could help, but there is little he can do. Only time can heal her wounds now.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is a general, but now of all times there is nothing he can do.