AUTHOR'S NOTES: So, I almost didn't post tonight. To be honest, I've been so busy with other things (including working on Ch. 11), that I couldn't remember if this was a week for me to post a story or not. Uncle Blackhawk's getting old, kiddies, and I guess the memory is the first to go. These weeks are really just sort of blending together...I need a vacation. A few weeks on a tropical island someplace where the women wear grass skirts, the drinks come in coconuts, and there's a good chance of being caught in either a volcanic eruption or a tidal wave...or both. Anybody remember the Gilligan's Island TV movie where they built a resort on the island and the Globe Trotters were gues-stars? I could use a couple'a weeks there...of course...Ginger and Mary-Anne are awfully old at this point...*sigh* Anyway...
A lot of the reviews from last chapter took guesses as to whom was speaking to Ron in that sort of cliffhangery ending I gave you. Not too many actually came close to the right answer. Also, a lot of people keep asking me what's going on back in Ron's home dimension...well...I'm not going to tell you! Sit back and wait for it. Trust me, Ron's just as anxious to find out how his friends and family are dealing with his absence, but as Dumbledore told him during their bathroom conversation, "All things will be revealed in time."
This is liable to be a long story, so I won't be rushing along to explain things quickly. I want to take my time and let the story unfold as it will. Hopefully you'll all stick around for it.
THANKS: CutewithAcapital-Q is, once again, my very helpful beta on this story, so a very humble thank-you-very-much to her. And, as always, thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. I appreciate you all!
DISCLAIMER: This stuff belongs to JKR...but if you wanna pay me for it, I won't tell her.
MIRROR, MIRROR
Chapter 10
"Strangers in My Reflection"
Ron drew his wand and dropped his broom turning on his heel and finding himself aiming his wand at the dreamily smiling face of Luna Lovegood.
"Bloody Hell!" Ron growled, putting his wand back in his pocket, "Don't sneak up on a bloke like that…I could've hexed you!"
Luna didn't seem the least bit fazed that Ron's wand had been pointing threateningly at her face. She also didn't seem to acknowledge his rebuking of her, for she continued to smile at him in a far-away sort of manner.
"People will think you're mad if you talk to yourself," she said again, "My father talks to himself all the time, and everyone seems to think he's mad."
"Thanks for the tip," Ron sighed. He, too, thought Xenophilius Lovegood was mad, but he didn't think Luna needed to know that. She made him a tad bit uncomfortable, and he began running his fingers through his hair nervously.
"Where's the bat?" Luna asked, changing the subject suddenly and looking up, as if in search of said flying mammal.
"What bat?" Ron asked, confused. He was also looking up, trying to find what she was looking for.
"You were yelling about a bat," she explained, unknowingly referring to his rant about Snape, "I hope it's a Wiffle Bat."
"What's a 'Wiffle Bat'?" he asked, arching his eyebrow at her, more confused than ever.
"It's a large yellow bat that wiffles as it flies through the air," Luna explained as if it all made perfect sense, "I've never seen one before; they're native to North America, so they're very rare here in Britain."
"What the Hell is 'wiffling'?!" Ron asked, starting to get frustrated and angry with Luna's enigmatic ways.
"I don't know," she replied, oblivious to Ron's disgruntlement, "My father says that when a Wiffle Bat wiffles at you, you'll know."
"Sounds bad," he said a bit acerbically, "Of course, not knowing what wiffling is, it could go either way, I reckon."
"So what kind of bat is it?" Luna asked, beaming up at him, "Were you going to fly around and try to catch it…is that why you have your broom with you?"
"What?" Ron suddenly remembered the broom he had dropped to the ground, "Oh…no. I was out flying around the Quidditch pitch…I might be trying out for Keeper on Friday."
"And did you accidentally let a bat in the castle when you came in from outside?" she asked, still seemingly hopeful to see a strange new creature flying around.
"No…there is no bat!" Ron said a bit harshly, though his tone seemed lost on the Ravenclaw. She did seem disappointed upon hearing there was no flying rodent around for her to observe, "I was actually referring to Snape; I ran into him downstairs and the ruddy bastard took away points and gave me detention…again."
"You were calling Professor Snape a bat?" Luna asked, eyes wider than usual.
"Well, yeah…" Ron really didn't feel comfortable under Luna's goggle-eyed scrutiny and he was trying to come up with a way to extricate himself from this encounter.
"That's funny, Ronald!" Luna exclaimed, erupting into high-pitched, hysterical laughter, "You're even funnier than your brothers!"
"Err…thanks," he said, blushing slightly, unnerved by her laughter.
Luna continued to laugh uproariously at Ron's comment, causing him to keep looking around nervously for any unwelcome attention the blonde girl's laughter might have drawn his way. It seemed to take forever, but once her laughter subsided, she went back to gazing up at him dreamily.
"Err…listen, Luna," Ron said once her laughter died down, "It's getting late…curfew will go into effect soon. We really should be getting back to our common rooms…"
"Do you think you'll make the team, then?" Luna asked, suddenly changing the subject. Once again, she either didn't hear what he said or she chose to ignore him.
"I dunno," Ron said, shrugging. He looked down at his broom where it lay, cast aside, on the floor, "If I'm lucky, maybe."
"If you do, I'll cheer for you," she said, beaming up at him, "Unless you play again Ravenclaw, of course."
"Right…well…thanks," he said, blushing a bit.
"Don't mention it," Luna said, her voice airy, "It will be almost like having a friend to root for."
Ron could see that this girl was the type who probably didn't have many friends. From what he remembered hearing about the Lovegoods, they were an unusual family that most wizards and witches steered clear of. It had to be a very lonely existence for the girl…Ron could see himself relating to her, suddenly.
"Luna…can I ask you something?"
"You just did," she replied, looking off down the hall, back the way she'd come.
"Right…erm…if our families are neighbors, and you're in Ginny's year…how come I've never seen you around school before?" It didn't seem to make much sense to him that she would show up all of a sudden as if she had just been created, fresh out of nothing, prior to this school-year.
"I was home-schooled until last year," she explained, continuing to look off into the distance, "My mother died when I was nine, and my father couldn't bear to be alone…so he kept me at home and taught me himself. I think the only reason he let me start school last year was that he wanted me to make friends so I wouldn't be lonely, too. He was very excited for me when I told him I'd made a friend."
"You mean Ginny," Ron nodded.
"Of course…she's very nice," Luna said, turning to face him again, smiling wistfully, "She defends me when other people in our class pick on me. She even tried to get me a date to the Yule Ball last year…"
Ron recalled a bit of a memory he'd seen from this world's Ron, "She tried to get…err…me to ask you, didn't she?"
"Yes, but it's alright that you didn't ask me," she said, "Though it would have been nice."
"Well…err…I had my head up my arse a bit last year," he laughed uncomfortably, recalling the memories of his counterpart's Fourth Year, "Don't take it personal."
"Oh, I don't," she replied, "Ginny told me that you were a bit of a prat."
"Err…yeah," he nodded. He wondered what else Ginny might have told her, "Err…Luna…have you noticed Ginny getting…emotional…lately?"
"Oh yes," Luna said, nodding, "She gets quite upset whenever you're around. She says you remind her of someone who died recently and it's painful to be near you. Was it a family member who died?"
"Err…yeah," Ron said nervously, not wanting to let too much slip out, "Though I wasn't close to him. Not really, anyway."
"That explains why you're not upset; I had wondered," she said.
"Err…so…I reckon I should try to stay away from Ginny then, yeah?" Ron asked, unsure why exactly he was asking this strange girl for advice…but with her odd ways and far-away gaze, she seemed far removed from everyone who might question the change in him, "Give her space so she can get over…err…it?"
"You're her brother," Luna said matter-of-factly, as if that were the ultimate answer, "You can't stay away from her. If I'd had a brother, I'd have wanted him to comfort me when Mum died…not avoid me."
"Reckon you're right," Ron sighed, "Err…sorry…about your Mum, I mean."
"It's alright…I still feel sad about it sometimes," she said softly, "But it isn't as though I'll never see her again."
"Wait…what?"
"I'll see her again…someday," Luna said, as though it made perfect sense, "She's waiting for me. Perhaps I should tell Ginny that…perhaps knowing that her relative is waiting for her and she'll see him again someday will cheer her up."
"Err…maybe," Ron shrugged, not sure he believed what Luna was saying.
"Good night, Ronald."
And just like that, Luna Lovegood turned and headed off down the corridor, leaving a very perplexed Ron Weasley standing in the hall watching her go. After several minutes, long after she'd disappeared around a corner, Ron picked up his broom and made his way back towards the portrait of the Fat Lady and the common room beyond.
The next day, Ron awoke with a monumental sense of dread. He would be seeing Harry again during that afternoon's Care of Magical Creatures class. It was another chance to try and make contact, though Ron had no idea what he would say to Harry when he confronted him. To make matters worse, Ron had detention with Snape that evening, and there was no telling what the sadistic Potions master and his greasy goatee had in store for him.
Breakfast was spent doing his Divination homework. He'd forgotten to work on Trelawney's dream journal the night before since he was busy dwelling on his odd encounter with Luna Lovegood in the seventh floor corridor.
He noticed Luna waving and smiling at him from the Ravenclaw table where she, like him, sat at the very end, without so much as a friend nearby. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and Luna went back to eating her porridge.
A quick glance at the Slytherin table found Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle enjoying their breakfast and laughing maliciously about something, but no sign of Harry. Not that Ron would have approached him at the Slytherin table even if he were present. Ron was just trying to keep tabs on him…just in case.
Ron then let his gaze travel up his own House table. As always, Neville and Hermione were sitting across from each other, talking quietly. Every so often, they would glance his way, but never for very long. He was a bit surprised when he saw Ginny walk up to Neville and sit next to him in the empty spot on the bench that Ron suspected was still being saved for him.
Further up the table, Ron saw matching disgruntled looked on Fred and George as they watched their little sister sit down to eat breakfast with a boy. Ron fought back a laugh; it was obvious that the twins were fully prepared to play "over-protective big brothers" with any boy Ginny showed interest in.
"Better them than me." Ron chuckled inwardly. It wasn't that he didn't want to be protective of Ginny; regardless of what universe he was in, they were all Weasleys, and that brought with it a sense of familial protectiveness. He just didn't feel it was his place, Weasley or not, since he was an outsider here…an unwelcome outsider judging by the reactions of Fred, George, and Ginny over the last couple of days.
Finally, Ron looked up at the Head table, hoping that a twinkly-eyed Dumbledore would be presiding over the Great Hall with a look that said he'd figured out a way for Ron to easily accomplish his mission and go back home. Unfortunately for Ron, for the second day in a row, there was no sign of the headmaster.
Ron did, however, catch sight of a teacher he didn't recognize at the Head table. She gave the impression of looking very much like a toad; she was squat with a broad, flabby face, very wide, slack mouth, and large round eyes that were slightly bulging.
She wore a pink Alice band in her short, curly brown hair and had a fluffy pink cardigan on overtop her robes which didn't so much serve to make her look less toad-like as it did make her look like a toad who someone had painted an unfortunate shade of pink. Perhaps the sort of prank the twins might pull on Neville's unsuspecting…and constantly misplaced…toad, Trevor.
He couldn't help noticing that, as the new teacher – he assumed she was a teacher – spoke to Professor McGonagall, the Transfiguration teacher had a look on her face as though she'd stepped in something foul. Professor Sprout, too, seemed a bit bemused by the pink-clad woman.
Breakfast ended and any thoughts of who "Toad-Face" might be were tabled as Ron began making his way up towards the North Tower and Divination.
Ron's second day of classes didn't go off much better than his first. He still had a difficult time concentrating as he continued to fret over his impending confrontation with Harry in the afternoon.
Divination was the hardest class to concentrate during since the atmosphere in Professor Trelawney's class was always rather sleep-inducing. The heat from the always-lit fireplace and the heavily perfumed air made staying awake on the best day a chore.
Luckily, as they were studying dream divination, Ron didn't get into trouble when he nodded off halfway through class. He did, however, have to give an impromptu oral report on the dream he'd been having during his "nap".
"I dunno really," Ron began, feeling uncomfortable about sharing something as personal as a dream with the entire rest of the class, "I was running down a hallway here at school; one of the ones with the suits of armor along the walls. The floor was wet and I kept slipping and splashing through puddles. Something big was chasing me and I could hear laughter sort of echoing off the walls. There was something shiny up ahead of me that I was trying to reach before the thing that was chasing me got me."
Professor Trelawney shook her head and declared Ron's dream an omen of ill portent.
"I fear, dear boy, that you shall most likely be dead by Christmas."
Transfiguration was only slightly better than Divination. Ron put supreme effort into paying attention to Professor McGonagall, since he'd already received a lecture from her once and he expected the next step would be detention.
He hadn't practiced the Vanishing Spell that Professor McGonagall had set them for homework. As such he still had difficulty making his snail disappear, though he did finally manage it just before the double period ended.
Lunch for Ron was, again, spent at the very end of the Gryffindor table. He was forced to finish up last night's Care of Magical Creatures homework – a drawing of a bowtruckle – while shoveling as much food into his mouth as possible.
He saw that Neville, Ginny, and Hermione were once again sitting together; this time, however, Hermione had her face buried in a book while Neville and Ginny talked quietly amongst themselves. Either they were inadvertently leaving the bushy-haired girl out of their conversation, or she voluntarily chose to exclude herself. Either way, Ron felt she looked as lonely as he felt.
Again, Malfoy and his two goons were present at the Slytherin table without Harry. With the exception of their previous Care of Magical Creatures class, Ron had yet to lay eyes on Harry Potter around the castle. It was very odd.
Lunch was over faster than Ron would have liked, and in short order the Gryffindor and Slytherin fifth-years were marching down the lawn towards Hagrid's cabin where Professor Grubbly-Plank was awaiting them with the bowtruckles.
Harry showed up for class, as expected, and once again kept himself in the middle of the Slytherin fifth-years. Harry seemed quite bored with the class, and whenever Ron would glance over at him, Harry would be examining his fingernails or yawning or stretching or doing anything and everything other than paying attention to the lesson.
Anytime Hermione would answer one of the professor's questions – which happened quite often – Harry would glare at her with a murderous look on his face. He seemed to despise Hermione and her "know-it-allness" even more than Malfoy did. That wasn't the most unusual thing to happen in class that day, however.
The most unusual thing happened as the class was breaking up for the day and the students started moving back towards the castle. Ron had summoned up all of his Gryffindor courage and began approaching Harry, intent on talking him for the first time. He was stopped in his tracks, however, when Harry noticed him and leveled a hateful gaze at him. Ron could have sworn he saw Harry's eyes flash red before the dark-haired boy turned with a Snape-like flourish of his robes and stalked back towards the school.
Ron stood there, stunned, trying to come to terms with what he'd just seen.
"It was the sun," he said to himself, "The sun must've caught Harry's glasses and when it reflected off them, it made his eyes look red. Yeah…that must be it."
Ron hurried back to the castle lest he be late for Astronomy class, trying his best to ignore the fact that the day had been overcast and threatening rain since morning, and there was no sun out to reflect off Harry's glasses.
Astronomy came and went without much problem for Ron, though Professor Sinistra did give them plenty of homework to keep them occupied at night. His thoughts weren't on the planets and stars they were studying, however; Ron's thoughts were on Harry Potter.
"There's something wrong with Harry," he said to himself as class ended and he headed down to the Great Hall for dinner, "Maybe he's under a spell. That would explain the red eyes and the way he's been acting. I bet he's been Imperiused! If I could just get him alone, maybe I could break it and bring him back to normal."
Down in the Great Hall, Ron took up his spot at the end of the table again and began stuffing his face with Shepherd's pie, wanting to get his fill before he had to run off and start his detention with Snape.
As he did every time he sat down to eat, Ron looked over to the Slytherin table to see if he could catch sight of Harry. He wondered if, when he did, the dark-haired boy's eyes would be that disturbing shade of red. However, once again, Harry Potter was not present for mealtime.
"I've yet to see him in here; I wonder where he eats," Ron pondered, staring off into space and neglecting his plate full of food, "If I could figure out where he's spending his mealtimes, maybe I could get him alone and talk to him without any of the bloody Slytherins around. Maybe then I could break whatever spell he's under. If only there was a way to know where he is at all --…bloody Hell!!"
Ron jumped to his feet as he was hit by a sudden bolt of revelation. He moved towards the middle of Gryffindor table where a group of seventh-years were eating dinner and talking animatedly together…although two of the seventh-years seemed to be forcing the good humor with which they spoke.
"Oi! Fred, George, I need your help," Ron said as he came up behind the Weasley twins.
"Sod off," the twins said in unison, drawing odd looks from their friends for the bitterness in their voices.
"Look you two gits," Ron snapped; he didn't want to bother them or force them to pretend that they didn't resent his very presence, but this was important, "All things being equal, I'd just as soon give you your space, but this is bloody urgent!"
He was met with twin snorts of derision from his "brothers" and confused looks from Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, and Alicia Spinnet as they sat, watching the encounter. Ron growled under his breath, balling up his fists and doing everything he could to prevent himself from hexing the twins and just taking what he wanted.
What was worse, he didn't think just coming out and asking for what he wanted in front of the twins' friends would be the best idea. He needed to be subtle. Unfortunately, no matter what universe he was from, Ronald Bilius Weasley was about as subtle as a Bludger to the face. Ron did, however, try his best.
"Err…listen…I need to talk to you about Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs."
Fred and George shared one stunned look and then jumped out of their seats. They grabbed Ron's arms and frog-marched him out of the Great Hall and down several corridors before shoving him into an unused classroom.
"What do you know about Moony…"
"…Wormtail…"
"…Padfoot…"
"…And Prongs?" the twins asked alternating back-and-forth between themselves as they spoke.
"A right bit more than you do, I'd wager," Ron said snidely, smirking at them.
"They're the Marauders," Fred said, glowering at him.
"And they made the Map," George added, glowering as well.
Neither of the twins seemed very happy about Ron discussing one of their best kept and most useful secrets out in the open like he had. Not that he blamed them one bit. If he had the Marauders' Map, he'd keep its existence close to his chest as well. In fact, he didn't possess the Map, and he still kept its existence a secret.
"Like I said," Ron rolled his eyes, "I know more than you."
"Prove it!" the twins said, once more in unison.
Ron sighed and took a deep breath, preparing for a lengthy explanation that would, hopefully, once it was all said-and-done, help convince the twins to give him the Map.
"The Map shows all of Hogwarts and everyone inside it. It was created by a group of students who called themselves the Marauders about twenty years ago. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs were their nicknames."
The twins snorted. "If that's all you've got…"
Ron rolled his eyes. "Moony was actually Remus Lupin; they called him 'Moony' because he was…is…a werewolf…"
"Wait…Professor Lupin?" Fred asked, interrupting.
"Yes," Ron nodded.
"He's a werewolf?!" George asked, cutting Ron off before he could continue.
"Yes!" Ron exclaimed, trying to continue.
"Wicked," the twins said together, grinning madly.
"Right," Ron sighed, "So, the others…"
"Is that why Professor Lupin was unable to teach class for three days each month?" Fred asked, not letting Ron go any further.
"Yes!!" Ron said, getting frustrated.
"So, then, the Marauders were all a bunch of werewolves," Fred said, looking at Ron for the answer.
"No, only Lupin," Ron said, shaking his head, "The others were…are…Animagi."
"There's something we haven't tried," Fred said, with a devious smile.
"Might be worth looking into," George agreed, sharing the same smile of mischievousness.
"Imagine the havoc we could wreak!"
The twins began whispering to themselves and Ron got the distinct impression that, before the night was through, they'd be combing the Hogwarts library for information on how to become Animagi. When it became obvious they had forgotten about him, Ron cleared his throat loudly, drawing their attention back to him.
"Are you still here?" they asked simultaneously.
"We were talking about the Marauders' Map," Ron said humorlessly. He needed them to pay attention if he was going to convince them to give him the Map.
"Right, so tell us about the Marauders," Fred said, waving for Ron to continue.
"Yeah, what sort of animals did they turn into?" George asked.
"Well, Prongs was really James Potter; he turned into a stag and they called him 'Prongs'…y'know…because of the antlers," Ron spread his fingers out and put his hands up on either side of his head, simulating a stag's rack of antlers.
"James Potter?" Fred said, looking as though he were thinking, "You mean Harry Potter's dad?" Ron nodded in confirmation.
"Too bad one of the Marauders had to go and have a scabby twat like Harry Potter for a kid," George said, smirking and causing Fred to laugh with him.
Ron fought back the urge to hex Fred and George for insulting Harry. He had to keep telling himself that it wasn't his best friend that the twins were insulting, but the git that Harry was on this world.
"Padfoot was Sirius Black," Ron went on, a bit stiffly, "He got his nickname from the huge black dog he turns into...you know...the pads on his feet."
"The Sirius Black?" Fred said, sounding impressed, "Bet he could teach us a thing or two, eh George?"
"Yeah, like how to escape from Azkaban," George laughed, "Should the need ever arise."
"Bet he could give us some pointers on becoming Animagi, too," Fred added wistfully.
"The final Marauder," Ron went on, interrupting the twins before they could start conspiring amongst themselves again, "Was Peter Pettigrew; they called him 'Wormtail' because he changed into a rat...and a rat's tail looks like...well...you can figure that one out yourselves."
"A rat?! Who'd want to change into a rat?" George laughed, "What a worthless animal to become."
"I don't know, George," Fred said, rubbing his chin pensively, "I could see the potential in it. Being small like that would make it easy to sneak into places…like the girls' showers for instance."
"Too true, brother dear," George said, smiling devilishly, "And imagine how funny it would be to impersonate someone's pet and then --…"
"That's not funny!" Ron snapped, cutting George off mid-sentence.
"I see we've hit a sensitive area, George," Fred mocked.
"Does ickle Ronnikins miss his beloved Scabbers?" George teased.
"Not even a little bit," Ron grumbled, "Now listen…I proved to you that I know more about the Marauders' Map than you do, haven't I?"
"What's your point?" the twins asked in stereo.
"I want you to let me have the Map," Ron said bluntly.
Fred and George immediately doubled over with laughter; tears coming to their eyes, they were laughing so hard.
"Why would we give the Marauders' Map to you?!" Fred asked, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Well, for one thing, you're seventh-years," Ron said, trying to be diplomatic, "You're not going to need the Map in a few months anyway."
The twins merely scoffed at Ron and waved their hands dismissively at him.
"How about this: as a prefect, I can turn you in for having it if you don't give it to me," Ron said, folding his arms across his chest, "I know for a fact you nicked it from Filch's office when you were first-years. No doubt he'd love to find out what happened to it."
"Why you little --…"
"I didn't realize Percy was still here at Hogwarts," George said, scowling at Ron.
"You don't like that reason? Then how about this one: you hate me and want me out of your lives," Ron continued, his voice unwavering, "That Map can help me complete my mission so I can get out of here and stop bringing pain to your family."
"Sold," Fred said grimly, looking away, "George…give him the Map."
George looked at his twin brother for a moment, trying to determine if he was being completely serious. When he became reasonably sure that Fred was, in fact, not kidding, George unslung his schoolbag from his shoulder and dug a seemingly blank piece of parchment from within.
"To activate it," George said in a quiet, unsure voice, taking out his wand, "You tap it and say --…"
"I know how it works," Ron assured him, "I've seen it in use plenty of times before."
George handed Ron the Map and Ron tucked it into a pocket of his robes. Ron looked over at Fred who was still, pointedly, avoiding looking away from him.
"Thanks a lot," Ron said softly, "For what it's worth, I really appreciate this…"
"Just use it and get the Hell out of here," Fred said bitterly, "So we can all move on with our lives."
Without another word, Ron turned and left the twins in the abandoned classroom. He felt bad for having to poke at the open wound of their brother's death the way he did to get what he wanted from them. He tried telling himself it was for the greater good…it was for the mission…but it didn't stop him from feeling guilty.
Ron was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't noticed the squat figure standing at the end of the hall until he was almost on top of her.
"Hem, hem!"
Ron came to a sudden halt, staring down at the bulging eyes of Toad-Face (for he still didn't know the woman's name).
"What were you doing in this corridor?" she asked in a voice that was high-pitched and seemed as though it should belong on a little girl. Even so, he could detect a note of suspicion in her squeak.
"What'chu mean?" Ron asked, caught flatfooted he resorted to playing dumb.
Her eyes seemed to bulge even more and her slack mouth seemed to purse a bit into an angry sort of pucker as her eyebrows disappeared into the curly brown hair hanging down on her forehead.
"What I mean is: this corridor isn't in use at the present time, so what business is it of yours to be roaming about?" she asked, still squeaky despite her evident anger.
"Oh, right," Ron nodded, as if catching on, "I'm a prefect, see," he pointed to the badge on his lapel, "And I thought I saw someone lurking down there so I thought I'd check it out."
"I saw you leaving the Great Hall with your brothers," she said, her bulging eyes seeming to want to narrow at him, "I've heard about the sorts of trouble they get up to. Where have they disappeared to? Down this corridor, perhaps? Are they planning some sort of mischief?"
"Fred and George? No," Ron said, shaking his head, "No, they came out of the Hall with me but then headed up to our common room to get their homework done. I was about to go up myself when I thought I saw someone lurking…like I said."
"And was someone lurking?" she asked, trying to look past him down the hall.
"Turned out to be Peeves the Poltergeist," Ron lied, "But he buggered off when he saw me; said he was going to go have some fun with the house-elves down in the kitchens."
"Are you lying to me, Mr. Weasley?" she asked, glaring up at him, tapping her pink-shoed foot on the flagged stone floor.
"Lying to you? I don't even know who you are," he said with a chuckle. He had to quickly bury the laugh, however, when the toad-faced teacher seemed to get so flustered she was going to bust her buttons. Her face went from pale to pink to almost purple in the blink of an eye.
"For your information, Mr. Weasley, I am Dolores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic," Toad-Face said with as much pomposity as she could drum up, "You would do well to show me due respect."
"What's a Senior Underwhatsits doing at Hogwarts?" Ron asked, surprised to find a Ministry official at the school.
"As you would well know, had you attended the Welcoming Feast," Umbridge said condescendingly, "There have been many strange happenings and bizarre occurrences at this school over the past several years: rampaging trolls, kidnapped and petrified students, dead teachers, escaped prisoners running loose; the Ministry has decided to keep a closer eye on Hogwarts before something most unfortunate happens."
"Like a dead student?" he asked sardonically; by his count, there was already a dead student: Cedric Diggory on his world.
"Precisely that, Mr. Weasley," she replied, clapping her hands together, as if happy that he'd understood her purpose at the school…either that, or she was happy about the prospect of dead students, "I sincerely hope that, as a prefect, you'll cooperate with me in any way I deem necessary."
"Riiiight," Ron said, nodding, although he meant the exact opposite, "I'll be sure and do that Senior Undersecretary Umbridge."
"Actually," Umbridge said with a disturbingly girlish giggle, "It's Professor Umbridge. I'm your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
Ron's eyes widened as he imagined this pink, fuzzy toad-of-a-woman trying to teach them how to defend themselves against dark creatures and evil wizards out to get them. "Right, well…good luck with that," Ron said, trying to move around her to return to the Great Hall and finish his dinner, "The position's cursed, you know? No teacher lasts more than a year."
"Silly boy," she said with that disturbing giggle again, "I don't believe in such foolishness. I expect to be around for a very long time."
With that, Toad-Face Umbridge turned on her pink heel and headed back the way she came, click-clacking her way across the stone floor leaving Ron to wonder what her presence meant for DADA class and Hogwarts in general.
AUTHOR'S END NOTES: There ya' have it. Umbridge makes her Mirror Universe debut. Maybe I should'a given HER the goatee!!
Next chpater in two weeks!!