Chapter Forty-Four

~ Death the Kid ~

I slowly felt that of my thigh growing numb with every second Maka's head remained against my lap. Her peacefully sleeping body twitching every time I attempted to move her from my presence.

Strands of her blonde her curled aimlessly around her little pale face. The curls being created from that of the bun that once rested at the top of her head, and now existed as nothing other than a memory.

I looked over to the sofa that sat opposite me, staring towards the brown haired girl who also laid there quietly, her eyes shielded shut and her mind stolen away to another world created only with dreams.

"You good there?" Soul chuckled, pointing to the girl who laid motionless in my lap.

I looked down to stare towards her sparkling closed eyes, her long eyelashes stroking at her face ever so slightly, and her parted lips silently drawing in the air that sat around us.

I chuckled, "yeah, I'm fine."

"Well," he smiled, pushing himself up from the sofa. "I'm gonna put Liz in my bed, there's no way this sofa's gonna be good for her leg."

"Want help?" James asked from the floor beside me.

"Nah," Soul shock his head, already placing his arms beneath the brown haired girls existence. "I got her."

And he did. His two arms carefully pulled the resting girl from the sofa and lifted her gracefully towards his broad chest, her eyes still remaining closed the whole time as if that other world she had escaped to was nothing other than a paradise she desperately didn't want to leave.

I watched him carry her through the doorway into his bedroom, until he was out of sight and supposedly out of mind, but all I could think about was how I once doubted his love for that girl.

How I had once mocked him for associating such an emotion with what I believed to be a person with such a hideous personality. But as I watched the way he cared for that girl and the way he held her close, I knew that everything I had ever thought was wrong.

I looked around the room we had all sat in, staring from wall to wall until my eyes rested upon that skateboard of his, the one he bought at the exact same time I bought mine.

It reminded me of the time police cars were outside the hospital, shattered glass was scattered across the grass, and the only thing Soul had cared for in that exact moment was Liz. Where as I on the other hand, cared only for the other girl involved, the one who had caused the destruction as well as Soul's fear.

He had known that Liz was there, although he didn't know the real reason as to why, but he still knew that she was there and was there to torment the girl that nobody liked, except for me.

And he only cared about the girl that had set out to hurt the girl I cared about.

He was selfish.

"Thanks..." James sighed, placing his palm against the nape of his neck. "For earlier."

I snickered. "No need to thank me you doof."

The tip of his index finger slowly outlined the rim of his beer bottle. His dark eyes watching the empty room sternly, as if he too were stolen away to a world that existed only of thoughts and dreams.

And then I realised – were all selfish.

James is selfish because to this day he still longs for one person and one person only. And regardless he will do anything to experience that feeling of being with them one more time.

Soul is selfish because he will do anything to get his happiness. He cares more about what it is that he wants rather than what anyone else wants, because he knows that he needs to work more on his life than anyone else's.

Liz is selfish because she was blinded by lust and compliments. She did whatever it was Black*star told her to because of the treatment she got after, she didn't care about what it was she was doing to people, she only cared about the way he made he feel.

Maka's selfish because she locks up her emotions and doesn't let anybody help her. She doesn't reach out to anyone for help even when she desperately needs it, she'll just sit in silence in hope that one day she might fade away from existence, and leave those who do care about her to perish within their memories.

And I'm selfish.

I'm selfish because I don't see myself as anything other than what I think society sees me as – just a boy with anger problems. I'm selfish because I choose to deny the things that people do see me as, because for so long I have accepted myself as nothing within this world, and I don't know how to stop that.

I suddenly felt the warmth of tiny fingers brush at the back of my hand, their soft little presences creating sparks within my existence and fire within my veins.

I looked down to see the pale sleepy girl's eyes open slightly as she stared up towards me, the corner of her lips forming a light smile as the pressure of her fingers thoroughly planted themselves against my skin.

She whispered, "I love you."