Chapter Twelve: L
L is for Luck
Elanor never used to believe in luck, but things have changed.
Now that she has fully recovered from her illness and her injuries, she has begun training again under Master Kenobi's watchful eye and careful teaching. He is a wonderful and great teacher, she has found; even some things that she never understood under her former Master are now starting to make sense.
She started with the lightsaber. Master Kenobi joins her every morning for the katas of Soresu and Ataru, and she has learned some new levels from him and has gained a new admiration for his skills, which are far and away the best she has seen in Soresu.
But she must do the katas of Makashi alone, because he has never learned them, much less practiced them. She is not arrogant enough to believe herself competent enough to teach him what she knows, but she knows that he is watching her every move and filing it away, scanning them for strengths and weaknesses.
They have not sparred again as of yet, but she knows that when he feels she is ready, he will suggest it.
She, on the other hand, hopes that day will not come for a while yet. She gets a great deal more pleasure from learning from him and watching him execute the moves with perfect timing and extraordinary grace than by the thought of testing her skills against him again – and most likely losing again.
He is also resuming her education, which was disrupted by the war and by her Master's death. He knows a lot – a great deal more than she thought – and he has plenty of datapads and other such things chock full of information for things he doesn't know personally. History, politics, science, mathematics, culture, and plenty of other things are what he teachers her – and languages, languages of so many different worlds that she feels like she will never remember half of what she learns.
And she is tentatively learning how to use the Force again.
At first, she was scared; in the dark past she vaguely remembers, to reach for the Force was to ask for pain. Master Kenobi assures her constantly that that is not the case, and she believes him and knows he is speaking the truth – but in the deep recesses of her mind, she is not so easily convinced.
However, despite that, she is amazed at how easily she and Master Kenobi get along, how smoothly he transfers into the role of teacher while she settles into the role of student.
Unlike her old Master, she can understand exactly what he means or what he is trying to say. Her relationship with her former Master was kind of bumpy, rocky, full of edges. He was a good teacher and she a good Padawan, but sometimes that just isn't enough.
They just didn't . . . click.
She is used to that. No one is perfect, and nothing is perfect. Sometimes Masters and Padawans just don't click. But at least she and her Master were effective enough.
Therefore, she is shy and unused to how things are when she engages in conversation or practice or lessons with Master Kenobi. He seems to understand her as well – or perhaps his experience makes him able to understand her better than she thought.
Whatever the case, she feels more comfortable with Master Kenobi than she ever has with a Master so far above her own rank.
When he smiles at her, his blue-green eyes twinkling and sparkling at her, she feels . . . pleased. Satisfied. Happy that she has made him smile.
When he frowns and the storm darkens and clouds over his eyes, she feels . . . not scared, but fearful. Fearful – not of him – but for him. But the storm always passes quickly, and soon enough he will breathe out whatever anger he has accumulated and is back to normal.
The feelings are strange, new to her. She never felt this way towards her old Master.
But she is grateful that he is such an effective teacher for her. She is grateful that they seem to share an unspoken connection that enables them to interact so easily. She is grateful that she feels normal around him.
Elanor never used to believe in luck.
Now, because of Master Kenobi, she believes that she has experienced luck – because luck could have been the only thing that had led her to be in his care, he of all people, of all Jedi.
L is for Learning
Obi-Wan Kenobi is thirty-nine-years old, but he is still learning.
The revelation hits him the day he is watching Elanor perform a new Ataru kata, one he had taught her only a few days ago. He watches her and corrects her when she errs and encourages her when she falters.
He watches as she throws her body through a series of aerial twists and spins, one of the middle phases of the kata, and quite suddenly, as the sunlight hits her body, he feels a surge of something.
Something he hasn't felt in years . . . but he also sort of recognizes it.
It is then he realizes that he hasn't felt this way since Siri died.
He is attracted to her. To Elanor. To a girl who is practically his Padawan in all but name.
Not just because of her beauty, but because of her character, her personality. She is strong, else she would not have survived what she underwent at the hands of her captors. She also has a mischievous personality enough to match his own, as demonstrated with their little pillow fight. And there is that hint of vulnerability around her, a hint that instantly arouses in him a protective nature that he has trouble pushing away.
He quickly shakes his head, trying to shake those thoughts out. They are not only distracting, but inappropriate. She is practically his apprentice, and although not a minor, she is still very young compared to him.
The fact that it took him so long to realize that he was attracted to her bothers him. Usually, he would have known right away and already begun releasing the unwanted feelings into the Force.
He also kind of doesn't understand why he feels this way. Yes, he admires and cares for her; yes, she evokes in him a protective nature; and yes, she gets along really well with him. But there is something . . . more to it. Something . . . instinctive, natural. Something hidden.
Otherwise, he feels he would have sensed it a lot more.
Another thought hits him. Could the Force be testing him? An attraction would be a powerful test, especially since she seems totally oblivious to the fact that he is attracted to her. It would test his resolve as well as his devotion to his duty – both to the Jedi and to the Force.
Her voice jolts him out of his thoughts, and he realizes quite suddenly that she is standing now, the kata finished, her hands on his hips and her head tilted as she looks at him. She raises an eyebrow as he flushes slightly, realizing a second later that she has been done for quite some time now.
But the moment passes, to his relief, without any questions.
She chooses instead to tease him about losing his focus.
Inwardly, he breathes a sigh of relief. He can't really lie to her – as she proved earlier – and he really doesn't want to tell her the truth.
He raises his eyebrow at her, reminding her of her own loss of focus during their sparring as they walk back to the hut.
She rolls her eyes, and retorts that at least she didn't space out for a few minutes where her throat could have easily been cut. She merely lost her rhythm and concentration momentarily.
He puts his arm around her shoulders. Then he tells her that her loss of concentration would have resulted in a split throat. He would have felt the danger in the Force and been able to react. She would not have been in a position to that.
She scowls and slips out beneath his arm, brushing his side as she heads to the shower, throwing up her hands and declaring that she's given up.
He remains where he is, staring after her.
It seems that no matter what she does, he feels that same surge of affection – even from something as simple as brushing by his side as she moves away.
Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Jedi Master and one who passed into adulthood long ago – but even he is still learning what it means to be a man.