The debate of what to do was still raging in my head when I got to the diner the following day. I was disrupted from thought by Liam.

"Hey. Why so serious?" he asked.

"Oh, no reason," I stammered, feeling and probably looking guilty as hell. I tried to manage a smile.

"Ookaay," he said, damn he'd noticed I wasn't myself. "How's the arm?" Arm? I looked down and saw my bandaged wrist, I'd forgotten it.

"Oh, it's fine."

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern. "You seem distracted."

"No I'm fine," I lied, "I'm just hungry, let's eat."

Liam chatted on about new students he had booked in the last couple of days. I tried to listen while I tried to eat but wasn't having much luck with either. I noticed that Liam wasn't talking anymore, he was watching me suspiciously.

"I thought you said you were hungry," he said.

"I, I…" I stammered, "I thought I was, but I guess I'm not."

I pushed my plate away.

"What's wrong Nic? What's bothering you?" I could tell from Liam's tone that he wasn't going to drop it this time. I had no idea what to say. "Is it Miles?" he offered. "He must still be having a hard time after Kirsty and the baby and everything."

Of course... "Yes," I answered, "he's still pretty upset and I don't know what I can do to help." Liam offered some suggestions but I was too wrapped up in my guilty thoughts to listen properly, which made me feel even guiltier. Liam had some lessons that afternoon so we said goodbye and I was glad to have some time to myself.

xxx

I went home and had a cold shower and gave myself a stern talking to. The main points I covered were that: One, I cared about Liam. Two, he would suspect something was really wrong if I couldn't pull myself together. Three, I had made the decision to start something with Sid so I needed to push him to the back of my mind when we weren't together. Four, Sid was a fling which made Liam my number one priority and: Five, if I doubted that I'd made the right decision about staying with Liam I just needed to remember all the good times we'd shared, how miserable I'd been and how Liam was the one who'd brought light into my life again.

It helped in some ways, I was definitely more determined to focus on Liam when I was with him. He didn't deserve to be treated the way I was treating him. I told myself if he was happy when we were together and if I kept Sid a secret that Liam would be alright.