Chapter Fifteen: O
O is for On
For Elanor, the challenge is on.
After another year of intensive study under Master Kenobi, he has finally said that he believes her ready to take the Trials.
Of course, the Trials will be somewhat adapted, but still . . .
She is very excited, of course. The day the nightmare called Order 66 happened, she never dreamed that one day she might be pronounced ready and finally take the Trials and become a full Jedi Knight. And yet, today, here, now – it is happening.
Her excitement is cut short when she reaches out to the bond and senses his own feelings on this. He admits that she is ready, but she can feel his reticence about it.
From her position on her bed, she tilts her head as she examines her Master, who is facing away from her. He is nearly twice her age and many times her senior in experience and wisdom, but he doesn't look it – not to her, at least. He still looks like the man and Jedi she has come to regard as a father figure, her Master, the one who cares unconditionally for her. He may be reserved – as he is now – but she knows he cares for her deeply.
He senses it and turns around, raising a questioning eyebrow as he sits down.
She shrugs in reply, unsure how to ask.
At this, the other eyebrow joins the first, and he gives her a disbelieving, almost condescending, look.
With this, she knows that he is giving her permission to ask – whether or not it makes sense.
So she asks him why he doubts her.
He straightens abruptly at her question as emotion flashes through his blue-green eyes. He shakes his head as he assures her that he does not doubt her, else he would not have suggested her to be ready.
She allows her confusion to rise through their bond.
He smiles gently. Standing, he moves to her bed and sits beside her. He reminds her that, as her Master and having spent so much time with her, he cares for her a lot – and therefore, naturally, he is worried about making her undergo something so strenuous, so serious, and so dangerous.
She elbows him teasingly, asking him with a pout why he doesn't trust her to take care of herself.
He laughs, and she sees his shoulders relax. She has always dealt with his reservation like this – by teasing him until he comes out of it – and it seems to work. In any case, his amusement and affection flow through the bond in place of his reticence and he tousles her hair.
She lets him, almost unconsciously learning into his touch as his calloused fingers slide through her hair, brushing against her neck and back. His touch is familiar to her now, more familiar than anyone else's, and he is the only man she would allow so close to her – especially after her experiences at the hands of her captors.
But he has helped her to heal from those days, and so those memories no longer cause her to wake up in the throes of nightmares.
And he has changed her, being and studying with him.
She still has her own personality and her appearance is no different, but she knows that Master Kenobi has rubbed off on her as much as she has impacted him.
She is a lot calmer and level-headed now, not as quick to take impulsive risks. The last time she did, she earned a stinging welt on her leg from his blade.
She is less likely to get distracted in a fight, as her latest spars with him have shown, even when he suddenly switches styles on her. She hasn't defeated him yet, but she is determined that one day she will.
And, most importantly of all, she has learned patience. She can sit still and meditate for hours, if she wishes – or if he demands.
Or at least, she has learned some measure of the thing called patience. Some days she can still drive him crazy and the exasperation will break through his Jedi mask and she will laugh at him until he starts laughing along with her.
All of that – everything she has learned – will now be put to the ultimate test in this, her Trials.
But she doesn't back down. She won't, not this time. The shining dream of finally becoming a Jedi Knight is just too close and too irresistible to even consider putting it off.
The ultimate challenge, the one that has marked every single Jedi in history, beckons to Elanor and the test is on.
O is for Off
Under Obi-Wan Kenobi's direction, Elanor begins preparing to go off and face the Trials.
Were she his apprentice before Order 66 and ready to take the Trials, she would have gone through a formalized process that would end in a Knighting ceremony in the Jedi Council chambers, where he would have sliced off her Padawan braid and she would have been finally recognized as a full Jedi Knight.
Now, of course, things are different.
So the challenge is also different. Instead of going through the four separate Trials as is the norm – well, used to be; he didn't take the Trials the proper way either – she will instead face a quite different challenge.
He has decided that she will prove to him that she is ready by trekking across the desert, alone and unsupplied, and before returning will construct a new lightsaber, one worthy of her position as a Knight.
She has already completed one of the four Trials – the Trial of Flesh – when she lost her Master. But she has long since weathered that storm, and he is confident that she does not need to undergo that Trial again.
It will take great skill, physically, mentally, and in the sense of her command of the Force – which will fulfill the Trial of Skill.
The journey will also take great courage, to face crossing an entire desert with no food or water – although not without aid, as he intends to monitor her carefully – and then also construct a new lightsaber. That will test her courage, as demanded by the Trial of Courage.
Lastly, when she constructs her lightsaber, she will be forced to open herself up to the Force completely. While doing so, she will face her darkest fears and deepest doubts – essentially, she shall learn exactly who and what she is. By facing her fears and doubts and then overcoming them – which she must in order to construct her lightsaber – she will complete the Trial of Spirit.
And in the end, when she returns to him, when she succeeds, he will know that she is ready and worthy of the title Jedi Knight.
He knows that she is well-trained and prepared and full of spirit. She can do it.
But still he worries. He simply cares too greatly for her not to worry.
He knows she can sense it. Even without the training bond, she was always able to pick up the residue of his strongest emotions. Now that she has it, sometimes she can pick up the very flavor of his mood if she so chooses.
But it is not until she is finally ready to leave that she acknowledges that she knows that he knows that she knows of his worry for her.
She does so by turning to him and embracing him lightly.
Startled but nevertheless touched by such an open display of reassurance, he hugs her in return. She relaxes into his embrace, and he knows that she is telling him – in her own, quiet way – that she will be safe and that although she appreciates his concern, she does not think she needs it.
But despite that, before she pulls way, he can't help kissing her hair ever so gently, so gently that he knows she will not sense it.
She gives him her lightsaber, and he clasps her shoulder gently in response. Then she turns around and resolutely strides away from him, her head held high, her shoulders straight, her aura full of confidence.
As Obi-Wan Kenobi watches Elanor stride off, he can't help but pray silently that she will return safely to him.