Chapter Twenty: T

T is for Trust

Obi-Wan Kenobi is the only man that Elanor can ever bring herself to trust.

Barely a good word for it, trust. Just five simple letters that somehow capture a whole range of emotions that she has no other word for. One simple syllable that somehow means the whole world to her – and to Master Kenobi.

No. Not Master Kenobi. Not any longer.

No.

He is just Obi-Wan to her now.

Not a general; not a Jedi; not her former Master.

Just Obi-Wan.

She knows this as clearly as she knows her own name – or rather, as clearly as she used to know her own name. Between the feel on his lips against her skin and the emotions that are saturating the bond, her own name is somewhat a mystery to her.

But she can't help it – she doesn't want the fog to lift, or the excitement and the adrenaline to stop flooding into her veins. She can't help responding to his touch anymore than she can't stop breathing.

When he pulls back and she gasps for breath, her heart pounding in her chest, his blue-green eyes are full of a question that she understands immediately.

She leans forward and kisses him again, giving him his answer – as well as taking away his breath. His hands rise on her back, sliding through her long hair and sending uncontrollable shivers down her spine.

For any other man, she would not have done this. She would have, perhaps, waited some time more to get to know them, for them to court her. She would have, perhaps, held this off a while, not be so bold.

But Obi-Wan is not just any other man.

She doesn't need to wait to know him – she already does, from the three years they have spent together and the bond humming in the back of her mind.

She doesn't need him to court her – he already has, in his own gentle, subtle way.

And she doesn't want to wait, to not be bold, to hold this off.

Time falls away too quickly for her to linger over this any longer.

So she won't. She'll grab it in her hands right now and make as much use of it as possible. She'll hold it here, close to her heart, and never let it go. She will stretch out this moment for as long as she can and never forget it.

He pushes her away, gently, to break the kiss and in the next moment, his hands are slipping her shift from her shoulders.

She lets him. He won't hurt her, and the feel of his calloused fingers against her skin is soothing to her.

In any case, she returns the favor a few minutes later as she helps him shed the layered Jedi tunic that he always wears.

Then she pulls him to the bed, her long hair falling about her shoulders, the Force tingling with electricity from them.

It is his turn to tremble when her hands brush across his skin, and she sees that he has the same problem as her – he can't help but respond to her touch. So it is a discovery for them both, although he unquestionably has the advantage over her in terms of strength and experience.

But for the moment she enjoys her power over him, knowing that in the end, she will be completely at his mercy.

So she lavishes everything she has to give on him, feeling him shiver beneath her touch and silencing his gasps with kisses that make her head spin.

Finally, though, it seems he has had enough of her feathery explorations and gentle teasing, for he suddenly pulls her to his chest and, using the swift and unpredictable reflexes that have always meant she lost to him in sparring, changes their positions, pinning her beneath him with his solid weight and greater strength.

She looks up at him and sees, really, only his blue-green eyes. His eyes are smoldering with power and desire and need, but there are hints of other emotions too – caring; concern; questions.

In a voice that is soft and deep and almost breathless, he asks her if she's ready, if she really wants this.

She knows that she has but to hesitate or say no, and he will stop immediately. It will hurt him, but he won't dare to push her beyond what she wants from him. Even now, when his self-control is on the verge of snapping, he still retains the ability to stop.

An ability her captors lacked.

She realizes then, quite suddenly, that right now she is in the same position as she was when her captors first tore her innocence from her – but the situation and the circumstances are quite different now.

Now this is of her own free will, with a man she admires, loves, and desires.

So Elanor yields to her trust in Obi-Wan Kenobi as she arches against him and urges him to continue.

T is for Tangle

Obi-Wan Kenobi looks at Elanor, sleeping peacefully in his arms, and marvels at how much of a tangle his life has become.

For one thing, when he lost Anakin to the dark side and Padmé to childbirth and the Jedi Order to Order 66, he never expected – amidst all of his failures – that one day he would be rewarded with something he really doesn't deserve.

Not that he won't accept it. She is everything he once dreamed for but then lost; everything he needed to heal him and remind him of what it means to be a man and a Jedi instead of being one or the other.

But he still feels he does not deserve it.

For another, he never expected a simple rescue would turn into something . . . well, something like this.

He has never felt so sated and content and loved in his life. He has never sensed something so powerful and beautiful, like their bond – or their love. And he certainly never thought it would happen to someone like him.

She shifts in his embrace, a soft sigh escaping her lips, and he looks back down at her. Her eyes are closed and she is completely relaxed and at peace, despite the fact that she has surrendered everything she has to give to him.

She reminds him of a wild cat when she is like this – sharp and powerful and sleek, but also gentle and soft when one manages to get past her outer defenses. The same words she hurls at an enemy to shatter them can be the same words she can use to soften him. The same eyes that flash at enemies and make them tremble in fear are the same eyes that are so expressive and beautiful to him.

She means everything to him now. Everything he wants and needs – it is all right here, sleeping in his arms. There is nothing that could possible replace her. And there is nothing he wouldn't give to save her.

He pulls her slightly closer to him as he pulls the blankets up and over them, covering them and offering them some protection against the chilly winds that sweep across Tatooine at night.

She nestles against him trustingly, not even awakening as his arms tighten around her.

Even now – or perhaps especially now – he marvels at the amount of trust she has in him. Were he to have gone through the same thing – or even something similar – he doesn't think he could have recovered so quickly.

But perhaps that is what makes her seem so special and so precious to him.

It takes an extraordinarily strong character to survive something like that, and an even stronger one to be able to pick up the pieces and allow a man to slip past and glimpse her at her most vulnerable again. It is not something any ordinary person could endure.

And it makes her precious. He never wants her to suffer something like that ever again. He wants to take her in his arms and protect her from anything that threatens to hurt her. He wants to shield her from anything and everything.

The sentiments are not exactly Jedi-like, for they speak of possession and attachment and obsession – the very things that led to Anakin's downfall.

But right now he sort of doesn't care. The Jedi Code existed once, and he followed it – but the Code wasn't always the best thing to be followed, as his late Master Qui-Gon proved several times over.

Besides, there are some things worth breaking the rules. She is one of them.

And anyways, is he really at fault for wanting to protect her from being violated and abused like she was? She has always aroused a protective instinct in him, even when he didn't love her as deeply as he does now. He would have protected her anyways. The only difference is that now the one he fights for holds the key to his heart.

So that makes two people he will protect – Luke . . . and her.

He isn't sure who he would value more. Luke is the future of his duty, but she is the future of his very being.

He knows, of course, who she would urge him to choose. And he knows which one he should choose.

But knowing is not the same as doing.

Unconsciously, he pulls her closer to him. He prays that that choice never falls upon his shoulders, for he never wants to make it – for he knows that if he does, while the outcome might be different, his heart will still be broken and he will never forget that.

He is not ready to let go of her yet. He isn't sure he'll ever be ready to let her go.

He smiles faintly as a familiar voice sounds in his mind, gently chastising him for focusing so much on the future instead of the here and the now.

Elanor is his here and now. To focus on and worry about the future will mean losing sight the present – of her.

So he won't do it.

Obi-Wan Kenobi's life is a tangle now, but he doesn't care in the slightest.