Chapter Twenty-One: U
U is for Up
Obi-Wan Kenobi is up early the next morning.
He opens his eyes to find Elanor still nestled in his arms. A faint smile is on her lips, and she is completely relaxed, at peace. She hasn't yet awoken and he can sense the peace and quiet of sleep in her aura.
He smiles as he recalls last night, which was devoid completely of peace and quiet. She was tentative and wary at first, and he was hesitant as well, not wanting to hurt her. He didn't want to reawaken her fears from her days with her captors.
But eventually the awkwardness and wariness drained away, and their love outshone her bad memories.
Anger flashes through him momentarily as he recalls how startled she was when it was over, how she lay panting in disbelief when he wrapped her in his arms, cradling her against his chest and soothing her overloaded mind with the Force.
She had never been allowed to climax, and he remembers how angry he was that her captors simply went for their own pleasure and never allowed her a taste of what her own would be.
At that thought, he pulls her closer to him, kissing her hair gently. He had vowed then to never let another person ever use her so . . . so . . . so . . .
He couldn't even describe it because he was so angry.
But she calmed him with gentle words. She had told him quite simply that she trusted him to protect her – that she always would – and that her past experiences didn't and shouldn't matter, because her only future was him.
Her words had been simple yet had touched him deeply, and they had allowed him to finally relax as she had drifted off to sleep.
So for a moment, he just studies her. She is so young and beautiful and at peace that he is loathe to leave her side. He just wants to stay here and hold her and holding on to the precious memories they form together.
But his duty calls. He needs to watch over Luke.
She will be safe here, even without him by her side. He has long since driven home the message to the Tusken Raiders, and so they no longer bother this area – on the contrary, they keep a wide berth.
And she is not helpless. Short of a full army, she can handle it herself. After all, he did train her, and she is technically a full Jedi Knight now.
Of course, if a full army is here, they have bigger concerns to be worried about.
So he gently unwinds his arms from around her, and kisses her lightly on the forehead. He smiles, tracing a soothing hand through her hair, as she shifts uneasily and a soft whimper escapes her lips. He knows that some part of her mind has noticed the sudden lack of warmth and protection, so he kisses her again and she relaxes. Then he slips off the bed, tucking the blankets around her.
He picks up their discarded clothes with a rueful smile. He drops hers on a nearby chair, knowing she will find it when she awakens, and tosses his own away for now.
Rummaging around, he finds a new sleeping shift for her and gently slips her into it. He doubts anyone will disturb her, but just in case, he thinks she would rather be somewhat clothed.
Gathering new clothes from his room, he moves to shower before he eats and leaves.
He has just finished the shower and is pulling on his pants when terror suddenly ripples in the Force. He straightens abruptly, banging his head on the door. With a soft curse, he rubs his head and makes his way back to her, alarmed.
But then he realizes what the problem is.
She is thrashing around in the bed, no longer relaxed or at peace. She is caught in the throes of a nightmare, one that has her screaming in denial and pain.
He runs to her side, gripping her shoulders and holding her down lest she hurt herself. It is hard, though, because she fights him. Because of the blind panic that he senses emanating from her and the fact that it is not his name that she is currently wrestling with, he knows she is not fully conscious.
Finally, he decides to utilize his full strength to pin her down at the same time that he reaches through their bond and uses the Force to send a rippling wave through her mind.
Her eyes flash open and she immediately stops struggling. She blinks at him, confusion taking the place of panic, and he lets her go. She sits up and begins to ask a question before she remembers – and then her hand flies to her mouth and her eyes go wide.
He opens his arms and, after a second of hesitation, she throws herself into them. Shivers shake her whole body as she trembles against him and he tries to soothe her with the Force, murmuring comforting words in her ear.
Whatever her nightmare was, it scared her greatly, he sees.
For his part, he is startled that she had one. She hasn't had one in years – not since she became his apprentice, anyways.
And it does not escape him that it is only after last night that she had one.
He just hopes that their sleeping together is not the reason for her nightmare.
As Obi-Wan Kenobi looks down at a quivering Elanor, he wishes she woken up a better way than she did.
U is for Under
The tension in Elanor lingers just under the surface.
She nestles in Obi-Wan's warm embrace as his arms encircle her securely and his voice murmurs soothing words in her ear. She can feel the warmth of his skin through her light shift, and can sense his concern across their bond.
And she is touched that he knows exactly what to do – he just holds her and comforts her with meaningless words and strokes her hair.
But even the soothing, reassuring presence of the man she loves isn't enough to overpower the immediate yet fading nightmare, that black void that threatens to sink its claws into her and drag her screaming into a pit of her worst fears. . .
After a long time, her heartbeat begins to return to normal, her grip on him loosens and the tears in her eyes start drying up. But still she remains in his embrace, loathe to retreat from the warm and safe place that his embrace offers her.
Finally, he shifts slightly and she reluctantly draws back so he can speak.
He caresses the side of her face gently as he asks her what was wrong, what happened.
She relaxes into his touch for a moment, closing her eyes as she steadies herself. Then she tells him that she was having a nightmare.
His lips twitch, and she knows he is waiting for a better answer.
She looks down. She knows how much guilt he bears over Order 66 and she had decided long ago never to press him on it. But she doesn't want to lie to him – he would sense it, for one thing, and she does not want him to get the wrong idea.
Finally – reluctantly – hesitantly – she tells him that it was about the attack on the Temple.
She winces when his blue-green eyes immediately darken and he stiffens somewhat, his arms tightening around her. Her guess as to his reaction was right – unfortunately.
He asks, guardedly, lowly, tightly, why and what she dreamed.
She tries to brush it off.
Wrong move.
His eyes flash, darkening like an approaching storm sullied by volcano ash and putrid rain, and the Force coils around him as he calls it to him in an instinctive move. Suddenly he appears to her as she knows he must have appeared to his enemies and his allies as they stood in fear and awe – powerful and threatening and deadly.
She knows that it is merely an instinct, an instinct from three long years of war.
She knows that he isn't doing this to scare her – he's actually scared for her.
And she knows that he isn't going to hurt her – he's trying to calm himself so he doesn't go off and hurt the one who caused this.
But she can't help herself from cringing slightly.
The moment she does so, he starts as though she has physically shocked him. For a second, the wildness of battle returns to his eyes and he tenses, his eyes going wide and seeing something beyond her, apart from her . . . something that terrifies him as much as it calls to him.
And it doesn't call in a good way.
So for a second, she is finally and truly scared for him. She has only seen him in battle but a few times, and those were mere water balloon fights compared to the battles of war. She knows his skill and his power and his control – but she also fears that it will not be enough.
For she has also seen the raw power and deadly skill and overpowering anger of Anakin Skywalker, the man who causes her nightmares.
She doesn't know who would emerge victorious from a fight between the two, but she does not want to find out. Not now. Perhaps, not ever.
She is not ready to lose Obi-Wan to the traitor of a Sith Lord, and she never wants to see the day where they fight as enemies and not as friends.
But, she fears, with this new nightmare, Obi-Wan will discern where her original lightsaber injuries came from and who the dark man in her nightmares is – and that he will go after Anakin . . . and that he won't come back to her.
And then the fire suddenly drains from his eyes and, although he doesn't relax, he seems to come back to her. His shoulders sag as he exhales deeply, and he looks down at her, his expression full of self-reproach and apology.
She snuggles back against him, pressing as much of her body as she can against him, relieved that his senses have returned and taking comfort in his solid, steady presence.
It seems to Elanor that the tension in Obi-Wan Kenobi is just as much just under the surface as her own – and that the cause is the same man . . . the traitor who used to be called Anakin Skywalker.