This is a depressing chapter but needed. Trust me I know where I'm going, or at least what's going to happen in the next chapter or two!
Chapter 1 Everything Changes
I, Bella Swan, was nothing. I was not important. Maybe if I just continue to lay here in the cold open woods, a wild animal will come along and eat me. Coming to Forks was my choice, and up until now it was the right choice, but now, now my heart has been smashed. It's not broken, it's not cracked, for broken or cracked it could be fixed. No, my heart was smashed into dust, and no one but he who walked away from me can fix it, because only he and his family could see each individual, almost microscopic, speck to be able to put it back together.
I think back on everything that I could have done differently. I'm not mad at Jasper, it's not his fault that his natural instincts kicked in. If I was mad at Jasper I'd also have to be mad at the bears, and the wolves, and any creature that ate to live. So there was no reason for me to be mad. But still I wasn't enough. I never thought I was pretty enough for him, nor good enough, and that's exactly what he told me tonight. He didn't want me, I wasn't good enough, I wasn't enough.
I continued laying there, I could actually feel the world move. I don't know how long I'd been there, I didn't care. I don't plan on moving from this spot ever. I won't fight if a bear comes to eat me, it'll be poetic justice. And one day, maybe not soon but maybe eventually, the bear that eats me will either him or herself be eaten or their decedents be eaten by a Cullen. I'll be able to die happily as long as I can pretend that one day my death will help any of my vampire family. And when that bear comes to eat me I'll be able to withstand any pain that I feel, because no pain will ever equal the pain that I feel inside of me at this very moment.
Minutes, hours, days might have gone by before I finally heard rustling in the forest around me. I can remember actually thinking 'Here comes the bear, maybe you'll be Emmett's meal one night. Just give him one hell of a fight, he'll really enjoy it.' Then I heard the bear speaking, it took my brain a few minutes to actually comprehend that bears don't speak English, and I highly doubt they'd speak in a British accent. "What is wrong with this spell? It's impossible that it's wrong but I don't see any girl in sight." He was quiet for a few moments before, "Ah so it wasn't wrong. Why are you laying on the ground Mione? It can't be comfortable at all. Shit I forgot you're not Mione you're Bella, so can I have an answer?" He waited a few moments, "Hey are you ok? Of course only you would go and get injured somehow on the very day that we come to bring you back home," I heard him mutter, not understanding and not caring. Suddenly I was being lifted into the air, and then held against a warm body. I felt my body start to shiver uncontrollably. "Merlin Mione, how long have you been out in the woods? Don't worry, as soon as we get you back to the house either Mum or Dumbledore will have you fixed up in no time." I'm totally lost at what he's saying. Maybe he has the wrong person, yeah that's probably it. Poor guy thinking I'm someone important, when really I'm just a nobody.
"Professor, Sirius, Mum, EVERYBODY, I found her. She was lying down in the woods, just laying there, doing nothing."
"Fred get her straight inside, Sirius I need as many blankets as possible and also some warm clothes of hers," I heard a woman say. "FRED get her inside and put her down on the couch. The poor girl is probably half dead right now." I wanted to tell her not to bother, half dead is a lot closer to dead then being fully alive. I'm sure that I'll be dead in no time. I wanted to tell her all of this but I couldn't. My mouth refused to move at all.
I was somehow changed into warm pajamas, don't ask me how but I'm so in my own mind right now that a rhinoceros could be in the room and I wouldn't know. The last thing I remember hearing that night was a kind voice saying, "Ms. Granger, how would you like a butter beer?"
Ok I'm ending this chapter here. Short chapters yes but I'm getting to where they will hopefully be longer. Thank you to my first two reviewers, len and Twilight Gleek.
What I'm asking for all of the readers is to review and let me know if this is making sense to you. I don't know, it feels kind of discombobulated to me but maybe it's just because it's mine.
Enjoy, hope to have the next chapter out soon!
XOXO
Tryphyna