Steve: Yo! Sorry I'm late but I was walking down the road of life when I took a wrong turn onto the avenue of dreams. Trying find my way back I got lost in the maze of despair. Then a black cat crossed my path causing me to have to backtrack when-
Pen-pen: Wark war wark. (Your not late.)
Steve: I'm not? (Everyone nods) Oh... Forget everything I said then. (Everyone facefaults at the author's randomess)
Hinata: Ow... My head...
Unit-01: Here Hinata, have some of this. (Hands Hinata a large mug filled with... what appears to be brown glop.)
Hinata: (Quietly) What is it?
Unit-01: It's 'Misato's super hangover cure surprise' it'll help you with your problem.
Steve: (Watches wide-eyed as Hinata drinks it) Um, what's the surprise?
Unit-01:Well...
Pen-pen: Wark wa waark warrrk wark rk (She's a braver person then me)
Hinata:UGH! It tastes like one of Kiba-kun's socks (Notices everybody's stares and starts to poke her fingers together) I lost a bet to Anko-san and that was the punishment.
Everyone:Ahhh.
Steve:(Looks at the now empty mug) Guess the surprise is that it tastes horrible but it works. Amazing that there's no after effects, after all Misato made it.
Unit-01 flinches but nobody notices.
Steve: Anyways, Hinata please thank the kind reviewers. Oh! by the way saying that my story is manure isn't that good of an insult, it's something that a fourth grader would come out with DD.
Hinata: Thank you:
kirallie
Lady Avarice
The PhantomHokage
dragonfire300
Aiyobi Uzamaki
Burning LilyRose
Kumori Shadow Kage
Scorcher of the Infernal Si...
wdsnoop
AshK
Steve:Pen-pen! Please do that disclaimer!
Pen-Pen: (Wark Wa WAAK arrk waark)
Hinata: Translation is "The author doesn't own Harry Potter or Naruto". He just owns this story, the plot and his insane plot-bunnies.
Steve: Please en-(Hinata suddenly stands straight as a board then runs into the washroom) -joy... Er... Guess that was the surprise?
Why me? Shinigami/Demon
'Who?' Thoughts
-YO!- Animal speech
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
We open to the Sandaime's office, who is apparently trying to drink himself to death. Why? The same reason as always, Naruto.
Sarutobi sighs looking around at the mounds of paperwork covering his desk 'Minato... You probably sacrificed yourself just to get away from the paperwork, didn't you?' Sighing again his thoughts turn to his favorite trouble maker 'Kushina, if you could see your son now you would be proud. After all, even indirectly he causes me grief.' Chuckling 'Though I have got to admit seeing the looks on those old farts on the council is almost worth all this paper work...Almost.' lighting his pipe he thinks back to the council meeting a few hours ago...
0000000000000000000Flashback no jutsu00000000000000000000000000
As usual the council begins with several members calling for the "Demon" to be killed. What is not usual is the Hokage standing there with a knowing look as well as Hiashi and Tsume smirking. This of course makes more then a few become suspicious, since usually by this point the Sandaime is arguing with them. Several become nervous knowing the look on his face is his "I'm going to seriously screw someone over and enjoy every minute of it" look.
Finally, everyone quites down and the Hokage looks around with one eyebrow raised "Are you done being childish yet? Or are we going to get down to business?" in the shocked silence he continues "Now I must admit that I am getting tired of all these meetings in which I must go over the same thing over and over again. One, Naruto is a human boy. Not a demon. Two as me, Jeraiya, and Hiashi have told you, Kyubi is sealed and unable to escape. Three... I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYMORE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS! How many times must I tell you!" Sarutobi finishes with a pissed off look on his face. Which only gets worse with what happens next.
The sound of coughing diverts everyones attention to a council member. "With all due respects Hokage-sama," Danzou states in his silky voice "The demon child has gone too far and caused an ANBU's death. He must be punished for his crime and-" Which is as far as he goes before being interrupted by Tsume.
"Oh, go blow it out your ass Danzou!" Ignoring his enraged sputtering she continues "Naruto didn't kill the ANBU, his new friend Harry did! And under Konoha law he was within his right as he was attacked with the intent to kill! Your just pissed off because the Kyubi chewed off your arm and scared your already ugly mug for life." She tells him with a pleased look.
"Now see here you little bitch! You have no right!" Danzou is about to continue when Hiashi interrupts.
"I believe I speak for many shinobi members when I say" here Hiashi pauses for breath "Shut the hell up." Looking at the many shocked faces he turns to the open mouth Tsume "You know... That felt pretty good."
The first person to break the shocked silence is of all people Shibi "Indeed, Hiashi-sama" here he takes a look around the room before adjusting his sunglasses "In fact I'll go one step further and state that many of us shinobi are beginning to become tired of the fact that the civilian half has continually tried to control the way that the shinobi half of the village is run. Or have they forgotten that the council is supposed to be run in an advisory role for the Hokage?"
"Thank you Aburame-san, it's well past time that I ... sorted out who has power and the final say here." The Hokage tells them looking around, ignoring the uneasy glances his old teammates are shooting him 'He he he. With Hiashi and Tsume's help our plan may come to fruition. Take that for all the paper work you bastards have given me over the years.' Clearing his throat he keeps the council members off balance "Anyways, young Harry has requested to join the village along with his bloodline as long as him and his cousin are kept safe from any malcontents within both the village and council under the Bloodline Clan Creation Act, section four, subsection D, paragraph three. 'The newly created clan is free from but allowed to participate in village politics and polices as long as this dosen't endanger the whole.' and paragraph eight 'If a clan is put under the collective protection of at least two of the founding clans then the village council is unable to effect them unless the protecting clan heads agree.' And the clan heads must agree together in order for the clause to work. Now, both the Hyuga and Inuzuka clans have put the clan Harry belongs to under their protection. They have talked to several others about also joining in to protection. So those that have decided to join in please rise and swear now."
Shikaku rises up "It may be troublesome but I, Nara Shikaku hereby swear the protection of the Nara clan on the new clan."
And so it goes with the Yamanaka, Akimichi, Aburame, and surprise, the Sarutobi clans.
"Well now, to make it official we'll put it to a vote to enact the act in it's entirety." The Sandaime smiles as he notices at least three-quarters of the council including Danzou and the two Elders voting yes. 'Heh! Look at those fools! Their practically salivating over the thought of a powerful bloodline joining the village. Most likely they have already read the official report and only know part of the information. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces.' He nods and continues "Motion passed. Tsume would you go outside and escort Harry and his cousin in please?"
Tsume nods and, with a shit eating grin on, skips out the doors. A minute passes until the door opens and Tsume walks in with a pair of ear plugs on and a camera in her hands making a few council members wonder. That is until Harry and Naruto walk in. This time the shocked silence lasts for about thirty seconds during which the sound of a camera can be heard, before the room explodes in a storm of noise and outrage.
"Sarutobi! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS! I DEMAND YOU EXPLAIN THIS TRAVESTY!" Danzou shouts as the room goes silent as everyone, Danzou included, realizes he has gone to far.
"You demand I explain?" Sarutobi begins, his voice like a Katana's edge "You Demand an explanation? Last time I checked I don't need to explain anything to a council member. Besides," here he smiles "you never asked who was Harry's cousin. And before you say anything, no the cannot retract the decision as three quarters voted yes." Several council members look gob smacked as they realize that they fell in the Hokage's trap...
0000000000Flashback: Kai000000000000000000000000
Sarutobi is startled out of his thoughts by a knock on the door. Cursing his aging mind he asks who it is. His secretary replies that he has a female visitor. "Well? Let her in now, don't let her stand out there!" He tells her thinking it's Tsume.
The door opens revealing the Uchiha Matriarch, Uchiha Mikoto. "Hello, Hokage-sama. How are you today?" She asks with a smile as she closes the door behind her.
"Hmm, I'm doing quite fine, well except for my paperwork. To what do I owe a visit from one of the only Uchiha I can stand?"
"Do you think that you could make this private?" The Hokage nods and does the privacy Jutsu "Officially, I'm here to extend greetings to the new Uzumaki-Potter clan." Here she suddenly looks as if she's been sucking on a lemon "Unofficially I'm here because my dear husband hasn't have the time with his scheming and thus ordered me."
The Sandaime sighs "I'm sorry Mikoto-san, but I wish I could dissolve the Marriage contract but I can't. I can't imagine why you have not left yet."
"I wish I could," Mikoto tells him looking far older then she is "you know he only sees me as breeding material. At first I accepted because doing so would keep my younger brother Obito in the clan. Now with Itachi and Sasuke... I shudder to think what might happen to those two. Already there are signs that Sasu-chan might become like his father."
Sarutobi gets up from his desk and walks over to her before giving her a fatherly hug "It's okay Mikoto-chan, Your godfather won't let anything happen to you."
Mikoto gives a tearful giggle "Mikoto-chan? You haven't called me that since I could sit on your knee. Anyways, I have my own reasons to come here." Here she looks her godfather in the eye. "Earlier, Fugaku came home in a rage. I thought he was actually going to hit me. I had to quickly take Sasu-chan out for a walk to get away. When I got back I found out what happened at the council meeting. He practically ordered me to come. Though I would have come anyway. I've got to know, what's going on?" She asks him.
'Hmm, I would trust Mikoto with my life...but I don't want to betray Kyubi-san's trust. I'll just tell her an edited version.' Now that he has a plan together he begins "Mikoto-chan I can't tell you the full story but here's what I can tell you..."
00000000000000A half hour later0000000000000000000
"...and that's all I can tell you." Sarutobi finishes only to be surprised at what she says next
"Kyubi... she attacked because of what Madara did to her didn't she." Seeing Sarutobi's shocked look she sadly smiles "It's not well known, only Fugaku and the clan council knows the truth. In fact I'm not supposed to know, I only do because I saw it on Fugaku's desk one night. If he knew I had read that document he would probably torture and then kill me." She finishes with a tone of finality.
'Hmm, there has got to be away to use Fugaku's nature against him... Perhaps? Yes, that might work.' The Hokage thinks as an idea slowly forms. "Mikoto-chan?" He says catching her attention. "If I remember right you were once a chunin correct?"
Mikoto nods confused as to where he was going "Why, yes I was. In fact I was up for promotion to jounin. If it wasn't for Fugaku and the damn clan council forcing me into retirement I would probably be in ANBU. Why?"
"Well, Naruto and Harry needs a teacher to teach them some ninjutsu, among other things. I would like a teacher I know I can trust. If you would like I'll state that I am ordering you to do so." Sarutobi tells her with a creepy grin on his face.
'Hmm. Well I wouldn't mind having something to do. And it would tie that bastard in a knot. I won't have to really worry about Sasuke since he's always training to surpass Itachi...' She smiles "You know what Godfather? You got yourself a deal!"
"Excellent! Now Mikoto let's discuss what you'll be teaching..."
000000000000000000000Naruto's Mindscape000000000000000
It seemed that he had just fallen asleep after an exhausting day when Naruto's eyes open to the sight of a clearing in his mindscape. Looking around he notices that Kyubi isn't anywhere in sight. So he decides to show hi presence "KYUBI-CHAN! WHERE ARE YOU?" once he's done he hears chuckles from behind him, turning around he sees Kyubi chuckling.
"Well, hello Naruto-kun. It's good to see you, or is it to hear you?" She states with an amused look on her face as he scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Now that your here we can get down to business with teaching you what I like to call 'Kitsune Training 101'. Are you sure you want to do this?" She asks him already knowing the answer.
Naruto gets a stubborn look on his face "Kyubi-chan I'm positive I want to learn." His demeanor shifts as he starts to bounce around. "Kyubi-Chan, what am I going to learn? Oooh! Oooh! I know! I'm going to learn to create a tsunami, right! Or, I know! I'll learn to how crush a mountain! Or better yet..." Naruto continues talking about how he's going to learn this or that.
'I almost don't want to burst his bubble... Or well' Kyubi thunks in equal parts amusement and esasperation. "Naruto-kun while I might teach you those things, it will be much later if ever."
"Then what are you going to teach me Kyubi-chan?" Naruto asks confused.
"Let me slip into something more comfortable first okay?" (A.N: not what your thinking perverts) She suddenly glows and when the light vanishes there is Kyubi in her beast form, only it's as big as Naruto. "AH, that's much better! Now we can start!" Kyubi is about to continue when she is interrupted by a confused Naruto.
"Um kyubi-chan, why did you transform into your fox form?" Suddenly he realizes something else "And why did your voice change?"
"Ah, is this better then?" Kyubi asks him in her normal voice. After he nods she continues "As to the reasons why? Well, first my voice changed because it sort of a default for this form. Secondly, I transformed so that I could teach you since I need you to transform yourself into a similar form since you should get used to it."
"What do you mean by that Kyubi-chan? I mean it shouldn't matter what form I'm in right?" Naruto asks her.
"Well normally you would be right. However we need you to understand how a kitsunes body works, because there's the chance that you might transform into a similar form so it would be useful for you to know how it works. Also, knowing how your chakra flows in this body is important since the knowledge can then be transfered to your human form." Naruto nods and transforms into golden kitsune. (A.N: A normal fox, I mean why did Kishimoto-sensei have Kyubi as a Finick fox, and not a traditional kitsune?) Kyubi's eyes widen as she takes in Naruto's now foxy body, licking her lips with a slight blush on her face she can't help but think 'Damn! Naruto-kun looks extremely good as a fox! Talk about looking yummy! His body is just the right type. And look at that fur! It's so sleek and shiny! Oh, Naruto-kun if it turns out that your Kitsune form truly looks that way you'l be beating off vixens! Inari-sama, if only...'
Naruto noticing Kyubi in deep thought tries to get her attention by walking over. Key word: Tries. Naruto actually trips over his feet, gets up to try again only to trip once again.
While failing to get to where Kyubi is, Naruto does get her attention... Just not in the way he wanted. "BWA HA HA! OH INARI-SAMA! HA HA HA! MAKE IT STOP! HA HA HA HA!"
Naruto's eye brow starts twitching in annoyance as the minutes pass with no sign that she's going to stop "Kyubi-chan! Why don't you stop laughing and help me here!" He yells over to her.
"Ha ha ha! I.. I'm sor..sorry! Ha! It's ju..just too fu..funny!" Kyubi tells him slowly getting her laughter under control. Once she stops laughing (which takes her another five minutes) she turns to a pouting Naruto "Oh, I'm sorry Naruto-kun but you must admit it was quite funny, hmm?" After getting a snort in return she walks up to him pressing the side of her furry body up against his and whispering in his ear "Now, now. Don't be that way Naruto-kuun." Drawing out the kun purposefully.
'Damn! What is she doing!' Naruto thinks while blushing.
'Damn! What am I doing!?... Oh, well, might as well go with the flow and get him back for all the times he's made me blush.' She winks at him before continuing with a slight blush showing on her muzzle. "Now, Naruto-kun, If you want me to play with you I need you to be able to finish standing up, walking and running as a fox. Then we can have some fun." 'There, that should get him moving... Sometimes it's good to be a little mean.'
'Okay... Why is Kyubi acting this way and why do am I blushing?' (A.N: People he's six years old, which is what his fox form is making it a adult) "Sigh" 'Oh well...' Naruto looks at Kyubi and exclaims "I'll be used to this form soon Kyubi-chan! Dattebayo!"
'Yup, I love giving someone incentive to learn something new. As long as it's not something Nibi-chan came up with...' Kyubi thinks while blushing remembering an incident involving her, the Nibi no Nekomata, and a bet. Shaking her head free of such thoughts she turns to Naruto "Well, don't worry about it Naruto-kun. In here we can go for three days per night, so there's no rush." She tells him with a grin, only for him to give her a stubborn look.
0000000000A few hours later000000000000000
Kyubi is staring in amazement at the sight she beholds. For there, prancing though the clearing as if he has always been in the form he is currently in, is none other then the future most surprising ninja Uzumaki Naruto. 'I don't believe this... This should be impossible!' Kyubi thinks in annoyance and disbelief. "Er, good job Naruto-kun. Your doing quite well indeed."
Naruto catching the undertone in her voice decides to ask what the matter is. "Um, Kyubi-chan...?" He hesitantly asks catching Kyubi's attention "Did I do something wrong? You seemed annoyed at me..." He trails off with his ears drooping.
'Oh no! Naruto-kun thinks I'm mad at him... I've got to set him straight' Kyubi clears her throat "Ah, Naruto-kun? I'm not angry with you, just slightly annoyed because of how you got used to your kitsune form so quickly." Seeing Naruto cocking his head to the side in a silent question she continues "You see when I first became a kitsune it took me the better part of a week to get moving around down pat, and here you do it in less then a day." Kyubi finishes 'At this rate he'll learn most of what he needs within a few years...'
'Yay! I rock!' Naruto just give Kyubi his foxy smile causing her to blush "Thanks Kyubi-chan!" Then realizing something he decides to ask a question "Wait a minute! Did you just say 'when I first became a kitsune'?! I thought you were always a kitsune?"
'So he caught that huh?' Kyubi thinks before answering him "You are quite right when you asked that. I haven't always been a kitsune, in fact all the nine bijuu were at one point human... But that's a story for later." Kyubi tells him..
Scratching the underside of his jaw with a paw he decides he's feeling a bit mischievous he "So are we going to play nice now, Kyubi-chan? Or is it going to be rough?" He asks her making her blush 'Heh, payback's mine!'
Seeing his smirk Kyubi realizes that he's thrown her tease back at her. 'Ohhh! That kid!' She smiles as a plan comes to her mind "You know Naruto-kun that your still not fully used to that kitsune form right? You need to learn the same way that all kitsune kits learn..." Seeing she has his attention she continues while walking towards him, swaying side to side "And that way is too play as kitsune do..." Seeing his confused and nervous look she thinks 'Heh, I hope your ready Naruto-kun I'm about to show you why it's never a good idea to tease a kitsune...' She slowly smirks as she sees him back up a step then two "And that means that...You...Are...MINE!" She yells as she goes into a sprint quickly catching up before pouncing onto Naruto, beginning a canine wrestling match which lasts for a hour.
Afterwords Naruto is panting in exhaustion while Kyubi is barely winded. She smirks as Naruto drops down to lay beside her "What's wrong Naruto-kun? Your not tired already, are you?" Kyubi asks getting a glare in return, which only causes her smirk to grow 'Well, I'm not going to tell him that he did pretty good. In fact given a few years he might beat me and then...' Her thoughts trail off as she imagines an older Naruto pining her panting body to the ground before... Well, let's just say that she has a good reason to blush heavily.
Naruto, meanwhile turns to ask Kyubi something before noticing that the fur on her face and neck has turned a darker red 'Huh? Wonder what that's about?... And what's that weird smell?' He thinks while sniffing the air.
Kyubi in drawn out of her fantasy by the sound of something sniffing. Looking for the source she finds Naruto trying to locate something. "Um, is something the matter Naruto-kun?"
"No, not really Kyubi-chan." Naruto tells her "Just that I was going to ask you something when I noticed that your face and neck were red. And also there was this strange smell that I was trying to find the source of... And is your nose bleeding?"
Kyubi realizes what he's talking about "Er, strange smell? I don't smell anything!" She squeaks, causing Naruto to give her a funny look. "Ahem! Anyways, my face was red due to our spar and my bloody nose is probably from hitting it on something. You wanted to ask me something?" She asks changing the subject. 'Kyubi, he's not going to fall for it! He'll realize and-'
"Oh! Okay then, I thought that you were thinking something perverted or something." Naruto tells her matter of factly, not noticing her facefaulting. "Anyways, I was going to ask you something. I know that you probably know everything about my life, so I was going to ask you about yours, if that's okay of course?" He finishes looking her in the eye. "I was also going to ask you why you've seemed different lately. Lighter, happier even."
'I've acting different? Well I suppose that I've been more happy since meeting Naruto-kun. where as before my anger and hatred had almost consumed me.' She softly smiles before answering Naruto "I guess that I have changed for the better, and it's all because of you Naruto-kun." She giggles as he raises one eyebrow "You have got a strange power... I don't know if part of it is your empathy, but you have the ability to change people and heal their emotional wounds." She giggles again as Naruto turns away embarrassed, red showing on his muzzle. "As to my life... Well, what do you want to know?"
Naruto turns and looks her in the eye seriously "I want to know... everything. I want to know about your past. To share the good times and the bad so I can understand you, comfort you. I hope that's not too much to ask?"
Kyubi finds her breath catching in her throat at Naruto's look and response 'I never believed that old saying before... A old soul in a young body indeed.' She swallows before responding "Naruto-kun... You're right when you say that I know everything about you're life... Okay. I'll tell you almost everything, even let you see my memories." At his shocked look she chuckles, a sad look in her eye. "I think it's only fair considering that I've seen yours... Anyways, I want you to experience my life through my eyes. You won't see everything though, not tonight, not for a long while. Considering my age it'll take quite a few years. Even the beginning is long so why not get comfortable?" Kyubi tells him, he then nods and snuggles into Kyubi's side making her blush while smiling. 'Heh, Naruto-kun's a real sweetie' Gathering her thoughts she begins "My story begins over 10,000 years ago in the capital city of a land called Atlantis. You see I was a princess and..."
0000000000000000END00000000000000000000000
The end author notes opens into a room with the floor covered in air fresheners with several fans running.
Steve: Whew! Finally most of the smell is gone!
Hinata: I'm so sorry for this...(Glares at Unit-01, who rubs the back of her head sheepishly)
Pen-pen: War Wark ark wa warkk? (And what did we learn?)
Hinata: Never accept anything that Misato-san has cooked? (Everyone nods)
Steve: And that people is todays lesson. Well, time for the polls!
Harry powers:
Metamorphmagus 7
Chemiliomagus 5
Multi-animagus 10
Naruto's powers:
Metamorphmagus 4
Chemiliomagus 8
Multi-animagus 8
Pen-pen: Waark warrk war waaarrk wa! (Those polls are heating up!)
Steve: Yup! Anyways that's all for now. Todays fanfiction has been brought to you by the letter R and the number 17. See ya!
(Screen fades out)