A/N : Not mine. All Kouga Yun's. I don't own Loveless. I don't make any money out of it.

Reviews are always appreciated.

Chapter 2

About a week later.

We still don't have any feedback. I have no way to face Seimei or get Soubi back. I'm annoyed. I'm frustrated. More so, I'm angry. I'm angry with Seimei. I'm angry with Soubi. I'm angry with myself. I'm angry with Septimal Moons. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and I wish Seimei was dead. For real. I've thrown away all the bottles of soap and shampoo that smell like he did. I can barely restrain myself from spitting on the altar. I can't look at a picture of my own brother. How deranged is that? Each day, when I reach the school gate, I feel such rage against Soubi I feel like throwing up. I got an itch to hit those who smoke — taunting me with that awful smell. My hand hurts. I punched the mirror the other day. Can't even stand my own face. Aren't I the one responsible for this debacle? Why did I get my hopes up? I knew Soubi belonged to Seimei. I've always known it but I've chosen to pretend. Now, it's time to repent. I hate them all.

Sometimes in January 2003

Of course Seimei would refuse. Of course he would rebuff me, as he would a child. What, am I not even worth a meeting? After all his declarations of love and whatnot, all his poker face and tricks and deceits, couldn't he have the decency to hear me out? Oh, I won't forget it, Seimei. No more than I will ever forget you stealing Soubi away from me. You had us bonding and then you took him back. That was your intention all along, to break us into a million pieces. No.To break me. It's not as if Seimei cared about anyone besides himself. Brother-complex? I don't think so. You do not rip apart someone you obsess over. You cheat. You lie. You spy on. You keep tabs on. You stalk. But Seimei clearly has a long-term agenda that needs me broken. Well. I already am. Couldn't have broken me much more. I won't give you this satisfaction, brother. You should have met me. One day, I will make you regret it.

1st February 2003

Yuiko gave me this diary. I will write in it from now on. There's a lesser probability to lose a page.

Kio's been asking questions again. With much more insistence. He won't be deterred. I will have to explain soon.

Seven-Moons will pay for Soubi's flat. Natsuo and Youji had argued with Nagisa-sensei for staying with me. I'm— touched.

March 2003

I'm going to chūgakkō with Yayoi and Yuiko. Natsuo and Youji too. I haven't made any effort to get into any other school and Yayoi has failed the entrance exam. I wonder if he hadn't failed on purpose, just to stay with Yuiko... He could have done so much better. His parents were mad. He had gone to cram school all year long after all. The grading ceremony was boring. Sensei cried. She's so soft. I hope it will be alright for her. She's a nice person. My parents weren't present. I'm not really bothered, it might have been worse if they'd cared enough to come. Kio was there. He shouldn't have come. He only made it more difficult. Soubi's absence was even more glaring. I don't much care for anyone's presence. I feel numb — most of the time. One day, I will disappear anyway. But I won't forgive Seimei. And that keeps me going. For now, it's enough.

April 2003

So, chūgakkō isn't much more interesting than elementary school. It's not even really challenging. I'll pass if I do my homework. Natsuo and Youji find it dull too. I'm not sure how long they'll manage to put up a good front. I'd be amazed if they didn't drop out completely. Or do something really stupid and get kicked out. On the other hand, Yuiko's been working hard and she's smarter than she used to. It's nice to see her like that. Natsuo and Youji have even stopped picking up on her.

June 2003

Something strange has been happening recently. I remember the ringing from when we met the Zero girls. I've been hearing it more frequently. Natsuo and Youji are delighted. I also don't really know how to stop seeing the string between them. It's bothering to see them shimmer all the time.

August 2003

Mother is becoming erratic. I don't know what will happen if I'm not careful. Father is nowhere to be seen or heard. Sometimes I wonder if Seimei is the reason mom went mad. Had he done something to her? Had he asked Akame or Soubi to do it?

October 2003

I'm bored. School's uninteresting. All the others have things to do. Maybe I should try painting... Soubi always seemed to find comfort in it. Let's try, I'm coming back.

Well. No. Definitely. I'm shit at drawing.

21st, December 2003

The heck? Seimei called today. On my cell phone. The one Soubi gave me. Wished me a happy birthday. Wondered how was life at home. Dared to ask me what I wished for my birthday. I gritted my teeth and asked for Soubi. He said that he couldn't depart from such a useful toy. He laughed. I didn't. I've punched the wall so hard there's still the imprint of my fist in it. Apparently, I've gained some muscle recently. I think I've broken some knuckles too. Seimei. The more time pass, the less I can remember you as my kind brother and the more disgust grows. I don't want to hate my brother. But right now, I can't seem to find it in my heart to forgive him. On my birthday — how could he dare?