A/N : Not mine. All Kouga Yun's. I don't own Loveless. I don't make any money out of it.

Reviews are always appreciated.

Chapter 3

February 2004

Another year. I would like to hope it will be better but I know it won't. Being a child is hard enough. Being an adult sucks. I don't want either.

Natsuo and Youji have managed to keep tabs on Beloved. At least I know Soubi's still alive. I wonder how he fares. He has orders now. Is he happy to? Is he controlled enough? Does Seimei restrain him enough? Hurts him enough to keep him content? Or does he look at our time together with some regret? Does he miss me as much as I miss him? Does Seimei allow him to tend his injuries? Is he hurting my Soubi? Who am I kidding? I know how Seimei treats him. He hurts and abuses him. I'm frustrated. Maybe I should ask Seimei for a little leniency towards Soubi for my birthday... I'll think about it.

April 2004

Another school year is over. Another one begins. It's dull and monotonous.

I wonder why I'm never bothered by Units. I can hear them. Sometimes I can even feel their territory. I was worried at first but since Soubi left, I've never even met any pair. Is it because of Natsuo and Youji's presence? I will have to do something about this matter. I've no chance on my own. I will have to train. Natsuo and Youji can only do so much. It won't be enough. Not against Beloved — whichever Seimei decides to play with.

May 2004

Yuiko's complaining I'm becoming cynical. She says I'm snarky and harsh. It's becoming difficult to hide things from her. I don't know what I will become if she were to leave me too. She's always been the bright side on my life, the little ray of sunshine, the stroke of optimism that I can't seem able to muster. She's the most honest person I've ever met. I don't think she could lie to save her life. I don't want her to go away. I don't want to lose her too. But the gap between us, I feel it. It's expanding. It's growing into a chasm that soon, we won't be able to bridge. It doesn't happen a lot, but for once, I'm afraid.

July 2004

I've made a few more acquaintances. There are two persons I've been hanging out with from time to time. They are nice and funny. Ryohei is mellow with a cool head but always full of common sense and good ideas. Rin is lively. She reminds me of Yuiko. She's so full of energy and she's got such a strong personality. My, she can be rather feisty...

September 2004

Yayoi and Yuiko have finally become a couple during the summer break. They are cute together. Yuiko seems happier. Yayoi is over the moon. I'm amazed he's managed to kindle his love for her despite her rebuffs all those years. Well, maybe I shouldn't. I still wish to get Soubi back.

October 2004

I wonder why my name still hasn't appeared. There's still no trace about any Loveless Fighter. Does it mean they were wrong? Maybe I'm not Loveless. I'm wondering... If it's no mistake, why hasn't anything appeared on my skin? Is my true Fighter dead? Is my Fighter a boy or a girl? How old is my Fighter : older, younger or the same age as me? What if someone had stolen my Fighter? Is that even possible? Because if it's the case, then there's hope. It's far-fetched but there's still this possibility. Soubi is supposed to be a blank Fighter. Moonless said we could work it out because there was less than a decade between us. It means that when Soubi was at the age a name could have appeared, I was around two. And when Seimei carved him, I was eight. Is that wishful thinking? After all, I did call him in Gōra... I know I did.

21st, December 2004

Ha. Seimei called again. Why am I not surprised? He still wouldn't abandon Soubi. I just had to ask, even if I had no doubt he would reject it. He laughed so hard, I wonder if he got stomach cramps. I hope he did. Very painful ones if possible. Is it wrong to wish hurt on one's brother? Even if he's been a jerk? He wouldn't even let me see him. My wall got a new memory too. Will it get another one next year? At least, I don't think I broke anything this year. I can still flex all my fingers and there's no blood on the wall. Progress, progress.