A/N : Not mine. All Kouga Yun's. I don't own Loveless. I don't make any money out of it.
Sorry, this one is also very short.
Chapter 5
The next message arrived weeks later. He had wondered what Ritsuka would do, now that he knew where to find him. He had wondered what he should do. Seimei had ordered him to "not get in touch with them." Should he move out again? He had no desire to do so. He hadn't initiated any contact so strictly speaking, he had obeyed. But he couldn't answer. Answering would be disobeying. It was off limits. However, when he opened the envelope, it wasn't Ritsuka's handwriting.
Hi Soubi,
It's been awhile, hasn't it? I don't really know why I'm even writing. It's not like you seem to care. But hey, Ritsuka seems to believe it's not your entire fault. So I'll give it a try.
It feels strange to trust Rit-chan over you. We've known each other for years. I hadn't thought you would leave. Not without saying goodbye. Maybe even explaining yourself. I know you're secretive. You've always been. And I understand better now. But honestly, did I have to learn the truth from Ritsuka, rather than you? Why couldn't you trust me over this? It's not like I hadn't always tried to support you. I admit, it had hurt. It still does if I'm honest. I thought we were friends. Clearly, you hadn't considered me worthy enough to keep your secret.
Right now, I'm mad at you. I will be until I can yell at you all I want. Maybe throw a little tantrum. I think I'm entitled to it. But I'm glad I've found you. I'm glad to know you're still alive and that there's still a possibility you'll come back to us. I'm glad for the first genuinely happy smile I've seen on Rit-chan's face for the last two years.
I won't be writing for some time. In the meantime, try not to let the other Aoyagi get you killed. And think over what you're gonna say to us when Ritsuka brings you back. You'll have a lot to answer to, my friend.
Kio.
A few days later, another letter arrived. It was dated. From Ritsuka then.
16th, June 2005
Hi Soubi,
I've heard Kio wrote to you. I wasn't sure he would but I'm happy he did. You have a lot to patch up between you. Kio has taken your circumstances with Seimei really badly. He feels betrayed and your disappearance has been a huge blow to him. He has always been very considerate of you and you should really, really apologize him. He's a good man and he's never given up on you. I hope you know how rare such friends are. He deserved better from you. He still does.
He cares about you. Well, we all do.
Try to take care of you.
Ritsuka.
Somehow, these letters made his forced exile both more tolerable and more unbearable at the same time. The lingering affection and unvoiced concern in it gave him a purpose, a valid reason to endure Seimei's hold on him. On the other hand, it was excruciating to stay away and silent. He craved and feared them with an equal intensity.