"Breathe. That's the first step.", Kiro said as he walked behind Kazuki and followed the younger male's gaze to a sickeningly realistic-looking human dummy with a target on it about eight hundred yards out.
Kiyoshi's hands were shaking; his heart thudding in his chest as he felt beads of sweat drip down his face. His shoulders ached from having stood here on this same ledge for about two hours now. Every bullet he'd shot so far had completely missed its mark, but Kiro still kept his patience.
" Relax.", his brother murmured steadily, resting two big palms on the smaller's broad shoulders.
Kiyoshi let his shoulders drop, his knotted muscles loosening immediately as he did so. His arms shook less violently, but shook nonetheless.
"It's just a target. No matter what shape it is; whether it's living or not; a target is a target. An obstacle.", the heavier set man said as he looked away from the target and circled his brother until he was standing in front of him; his blue eyes staring straight into Kazuki's evergreen ones.
"It doesn't matter if it has flesh and bones. An animal; a human. If you need to; if you're ordered to, then shoot."
With that, the blue-eyed male stepped away and out of the line of fire. His presence seemed to disappear in that moment. It was now just Kiyoshi, the rifle, and the 'man' standing alone in a field down below. He knew that the 'man' was in fact a dummy, but knowing that one day it would be replaced with the real deal unsettled him greatly.
"Focus only on your task and complete it without delay. Any personal feelings or any outside thoughts are unnecessary.", his brother said from far to his right as if he could hear the younger man's thoughts clearly.
Kazuki finally took a deep breath. In and out slowly as the air around him changed.
"Do it."
'Don't.'
A part of him still hated this. Hated the thought of taking life that wasn't his to take, but his brother commanded it. Kiyoshi's eyes focused as he felt the weight of the metal in his hands grow even heavier, the cold of the trigger under his finger.
"Shoot."
'You don't want to do this.'
He had to. He had no choice. When his brother asked something of him, he wasn't let alone until he carried out the task.
'Just walk away.'
"You have the skill. All you have to do is use it. The world doesn't have room for the weak."
'This isn't you.'
" I know.", the brunette murmured both to himself and to his brother, before he finally pulled the trigger back and a loud boom filled the air.
The hilt knocked back into Kiyoshi's shoulder and his ears rung a bit, but his eyes followed the shot through to the end. He watched as the dummy blew back from the force of the bullet and fell to the ground. Kazuki felt sick. He couldn't do this anymore. He wanted to go back home, but there was no home to return to.
"See?", Kiro said slapping a hand on Kazuki's back, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Nothing to it. Like water off a duck's back. A target is a target. Remember that and you can shoot anything down."
The brunette watched his brother walk away after that, leaving him to stand alone on the ledge. He was just like them. They didn't care what they had to do, who they had to kill; they carried out their missions without fail. No matter the cost, no matter what they had to do; they carried it through without hesitation, without question. Kiyoshi knew that this wasn't something he could do. The brunette wasn't a mindless drone; a machine that simply took orders and executed them.
"A target is a target, huh?"
That phrase still rang through Kiyoshi's head as he stood on the roof of the tallest building he could find in this town. It was Kiro's number one phrase and it never served to be wrong. The world really didn't have any room for the weak. It was a dog eat dog world and even more so now. The brunette had yet to take another person's life. He detested the thought deeply, but he had to do it. Shizuo and Izaya were depending on him seeing this through. Kiro had conditioned him for this. He could do it. He had all the skills; all he had to do was use them.
The brunette breathed in and sighed deeply. He looked out to the steadily darkening horizon and wondered if Kiro had died during the raid or not. Honestly, Kiyoshi didn't care much whether he was alive or not at this point. His real brother had died years ago and he'd already had plenty of time to mourn his death. He was only curious and morbidly so. Kazuki was almost positive now that Izaya knew, but Orihara was the type to withhold information if he thought it would get him into any trouble.
Before he could think of a way to ask the informant when he got back, a movement from below caught his eye. The figure below was obviously human, but wasn't on horseback or even coming in the direction he'd thought the scouts would come in. Raising his rifle anyway, the brunette lined up the shot and looked through the scope. A head of blonde hair, an out of place bartender outfit, and a deep scowl. It didn't take the evergreen eyed soldier long to recognize the man as Heiwajima and to lower his guard.
"So he figured it out, huh?", Kazuki sighed as he wondered where Izaya had gone and if he was hurt.
With a shake of his head, Kiyoshi brought his fingers to his mouth and gave three sharp whistles, earning Shizuo's attention. The brunette then motioned for the man to come on up as he looked left and right to make sure that the bartender wasn't in any danger of getting shot. The blonde man below hesitated for a few long moments before he slowly and unsurely made his way towards the shop under the roof. Kazuki waited patiently, his body turned towards the door and his head angled to the north. It wasn't long until he heard the heavy and unrushed footsteps of the other man making his way up the stairs as he vaguely wondered what it would take to get the shorter man to turn back. As soon as the metal door creaked open, he spoke out.
"What are you doing out here?", Kazuki asked as soon as the blonde had walked through. "Go back to Orihara."
Shizuo frowned a bit and then continued to walk onto the roof, defiance filling his every feature.
"No."
"What do you mean, 'No'?", the brunette asked walking up to the shorter male, sizing him up in an attempt to intimidate him into listening.
"It means 'No, I'm not going back.' Izaya might be okay with sending you to your death, but I'm not.", Heiwajima said simply as he looked out to in the direction that Orihara had seen the scouts coming from; dismissing Kiyoshi's attempt at asserting dominance over him.
Shizuo was used to people trying to scare and intimidate him, it wasn't anything new but it was no less annoying than the last time. The blonde wondered each and every time when everyone would learn not to mess with someone who could send them hurling away with so much as a flick to the forehead. As irritating as it was to be met with this sort of situation again, Heiwajima kept his anger in check only because of the fact that Kiyoshi was putting up a front. Threatening dispositions were definitely not the brunette's forte; if the man's slightly averted gaze was anything to go by.
The taller brunette was silent for a long moment as he watched Shizuo sidestep him and walk over to the ledge of the roof. Frustration was filling him to his core. He couldn't figure out if Shizuo was some sort of punk or just completely oblivious. With tension already running high on Kazuki, the added stress of having to look out for the blonde as well was more than taxing. Inexperience was a death sentence in this kind of situation, but maybe the blonde wasn't here to help. Izaya had very clearly stated that he had to keep their plan a secret because the blonde hated violence and would probably come to put an end to what he was going to do if he so much as breathed a word. Orihara had been pretty confident that he could manage to effectively keep the blonde away by any means necessary, so Kiyoshi hadn't been given any instruction on what to do if the man suddenly showed up out of the blue.
"Are you here to stop me then?", Kazuki asked cautiously as he walked towards the shorter man.
Heiwajima's brows furrowed as his eyes stayed glued to the horizon.
"...No…"
"So are you planning on helping me then?"
There was a long pause as a gust of bitter, icy cold wind picked up and buffeted through their clothes, chilling them to the point where they shuddered and goosebumps spread on their skin.
"I don't know…"
Kazuki sighed tiredly as he ran a hand through his now unruly reddish brown hair.
"Look, this has to be done. Trust me when I say that I wish it didn't.", Kiyoshi explained as he took a few steps to stand side by side with Shizuo.
"There has to be another way. Do we really have to go this far?"
"We have no money to bribe them with, nor will our bodies suffice if you're hoping that could work too."
"You're disgusting!", Shizuo hissed, making a face. "I'm just saying that maybe we could talk to them."
"And you think they'll let us get close enough to them? They've been given the order to shoot if they have the chance."
The bartender drew silent again as his scowl deepened. Stubbornly, he turned his head back out to the landscape.
"There has to be another way."
Kiyoshi closed his eyes for a long moment and let his head fall back in exasperation. There was no winning with this guy.
"Just go back to Orihara.", the evergreen eyed male said slowly. "You don't like violence, right? Just leave so you don't have to see anything."
Heiwajima tore his gaze from the north and stared deeply into the taller man's eyes. From this close up, Kazuki could see just how much they differed in height. The top of the blond's head reached just to the bridge of the brunette's nose, which was weird since it truly felt as though Shizuo was taller than him. Kiyoshi then realized just how overpowering the other man's presence was. He could practically sense the man's strength in the air when he walked by and being right next to the destructive force of nature was like standing next to a raging typhoon.
"And leave you here to possibly die? Fat chance. I don't hide behind people like Izaya does."
Kiyoshi simply nodded at that and broke the eye contact they had; the heat of it proving to be too much for him. The shorter man was passionate about what he thought was the right thing to do and he wouldn't take no for an answer.
It was nearly pitch black now. A pale full moon was rising, offering its light as the creatures of the night began to awaken.
"Where's Izaya anyways? You didn't leave him lying face down in a ditch, did you?", Kazuki finally said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.
"No. His shoulder got so bad that we had to go back to town and find a house. He can't go anywhere for a while.", Heiwajima explained as he thought back to what Izaya had said about leaving and prayed that the male wouldn't really go looking for a different house.
"Did you make sure to let the horses off their ropes? They need to eat.", Kiyoshi said as he looked down at Shizuo seriously.
"Yeah. I was worried that they'd run off though.", Heiwajima responded.
"They won't. How bad is Orihara's shoulder? How long do you think we'll have to stay?"
"Bad. Really bad. We won't be moving for weeks. He can't ride."
Kazuki sighed deeply as he brought a hand to his face. Shizuo watched the man silently as the evergreen eyed male dragged his hand down his handsome features.
"That might be a problem…", the brunette said. "One thing at a time though. We won't worry about that right now."
Heiwajima simply nodded to that and another comfortable silence fell between the two. The bartender found that being alone with the taller male wasn't as bad as he thought. When the brunette was t trying to challenge him, being alone with Kiyoshi was WAY better on a million of levels than being with the flea, even though Shizuo hardly had the energy to be mad at the informant all the time like he used to be. With so much violence around as it was, Heiwajima had put in the extra effort to stay calm. It was as if the chaos had placated him, as if his instincts were sated with all the destruction happening around him without having to actually take part in it. Still Izaya constantly rubbed him the wrong way, just being around him was enough to keep him eternally irritated and grumpy. How Kazuki could stand to be in his presence and still keep his good-natured attitude up was beyond him.
"Can I ask you a question?", Shizuo asked suddenly, immediately earning Kiyoshi's attention.
"Go ahead.", Kazuki smiled brightly, finally dropping the intimidation facade and making Shizuo actually have to look away.
Despite the courage he'd had before, Kiyoshi still made him a little uneasy. He didn't know how to react to kindness, especially from someone he hardly knew. Most people feared him or wanted to beat him up, so he wasn't used to having smiles thrown his way for seemingly no reason.
"Why did you decide to trust the Flea?"
"The flea?", Kiyoshi asked confused for a moment.
"Izaya.", Shizuo clarified.
Kazuki hummed as he looked up at the sky for a long moment.
"Can I ask you a question, Heiwajima?", Kiyoshi asked suddenly.
"Shoot."
"Have you ever looked at someone for the first time and just felt completely captivated?"
Shizuo thought hard about the answer to that, even though he knew the answer was on the tip of his tongue.
"No."
"Well, Orihara's… how do I put it, magnetic in a way. Charismatic, you know? You can't help but want to be near him."
"...Magnetic? He repels people better than he attracts them.", Heiwajima said, his lips pulling into a sour frown.
"Then you must not be effected by him.", Kiyoshi smiled softly as he watched Shizuo avert his eyes again.
"I guess not.", Shizuo grunted as he shuddered at the cold biting into his skin.
Soon this bartender outfit wasn't going to be enough for the chill of night.
Kiyoshi hummed as he shuddered a bit too, his baritone voice vibrating in Heiwajima's ears.
"We'll have to find warmer clothes soon.", the man said simply.
Hours and hours ticked by and still no sign of anyone approaching. The night was still young, but there should have been some movement out there already. Kazuki began to get worried that they were onto them and he cursed himself for not listening in on their conversations from his walkie-talkie more during his wait. It was entirely possible that they were called back and that HQ had denied Lieutenant Momoru his request in pursuing him, but they couldn't afford to just let their guard down.
The brunette didn't tear his gaze from the horizon even when he heard Shizuo shift in his spot on the ground and walk to stand beside him again. The presence of the stronger man was reassuring, but it still offered no solace to his growing anxiety at what he was planning to do when and if the scouts showed up.
"We shouldn't leave Izaya alone for too long.", Heiwajima grunted out as he looked out below them one more time.
Kiyoshi sighed deeply, his anxiety growing at the thought of the raven defenseless and alone. There was no way Shizuo would agree to go back alone and also no way in hell that Kazuki would leave the task of getting rid of the scouts to the blonde.
"That's definitely a dilemma.", the brunette said softly as the debt collector looked at him expectantly.
What should he do? Go back or stay here and wait for God knows how long? The brunette was at loss. Before he could get too deep into what he should do though, a flicker of movement coming from the north caught his eye.
"Kiyosh-"
"Shh! Get down!", the taller man hissed, pulling the bartender down to crouch with him.
Confused and irritated, Shizuo almost asked what the hell his problem was until he remembered the situation and followed the other man's gaze out to the silhouette of a slowly moving object coming towards them, getting bigger and bigger as it drew ever closer. It was hardly a dot, but it was pretty clear what it was as the seconds ticked by. Kiyoshi felt the blonde tense up next to him as he himself broke out into a cold sweat. He felt the strength leave his arms as the weight of the rifle became increasingly heavy, so much so that it was hard to lift the cold metal contraption. Everything was in slow motion at this point and Kazuki felt as though his senses had heightened considerably. His gaze was locked on the float-gaited movement of the horse and its hardly jostling rider atop it. Though it was dark, the rising full moon at the rider's back highlighted everything in striking clarity. The sweat on the brunette's forehead began to bead and slowly streak down his cheeks as he lifted the barrel of the rifle and looked through the scope. At first, to the ex-soldiers dismay, it seemed as though the scout was alone, but sure enough, another silhouette appeared from over the hill; steadily following after the first. Both scouts were here and no one was following them. They were alone and like Kazuki had predicted, they were planning on riding straight through the small town to pick up their trail again.
'Breathe.', a strong and deep voice murmured steadily in the brunette's ear.
Kiyoshi drew in a long breath and slowly let it back out again. His body was tense, he could feel his muscles knotting and shaking due to the strain. The shot was no longer lined up, but instead jerking left and right so much that the rifle itself made rattling noises.
'Relax.', the voice murmured to him again as he felt familiar hands begin to ghost along his shoulders.
Kiyoshi let his shoulders drop and his back muscles uncoil. The shot was perfectly lined up now and the time to finally shoot was steadily coming closer like the elegant and floating footsteps of the holsteiner horses drawing ever closer. Something in Kazuki lurched a bit at that as he felt nausea crawl up his throat. This wasn't a drill in some desert training camp, this was real. The target was no longer a still dummy sitting in some open clearing; the target was now a human being with flesh and bones and the right to live another day. Who was he to decide something so crucial as to when a life would cease to go on? That was the job of a god, or the gods, or just simply fate. Kiyoshi wasn't sure which but it didn't matter; it still wasn't his place to decide.
Like a serpent of temptation and false reason, the voice was back again, murmuring things in his ear and leading him down the path that was against his morals.
'It's just a target. No matter what shape it is; whether it's living or not; a target is a target. An obstacle.'
This wasn't just a target they were talking about here, this was another human being. A human being that probably had people who loved and cared about them, lots of potential to offer the world… But then again, when did they ever give a damn about that when they shot down the very civilians that they had sworn to protect with their very lives? When did they stop to think about morals when they mercilessly slit the throats of elders, cripples, and the mentally disabled? These 'humans', if one could even call them one anymore; were murderers; military dogs that only cared about fulfilling orders and raising their status. Among them all were thieves, rapists, and people who could do the unthinkable and not even bat an eye. What did these people know of showing empathy? Compassion?
How could a divine being allow them to exist? How could they sit back and watch the world fall into war and the innocent fall victim to the mistakes of older generations? Was there even such thing as a divine being? If there was then they must have surely turned their back on them. Maybe they found them all repulsive and wanted to see them all destroyed; wanted them to cease to exist so they could start anew. Maybe this was what happened to the dinosaurs from so long ago. Their creator must have deemed them unsatisfactory, rid of them, and started over from the ground up. It seemed that now the creator was unsatisfied with his work for the second time and was in the process of ridding humans from the earth so they could start over once more. If that was the case, then it didn't matter what he did from here on out. If the world was damned, then there was no reason to hold back. If no one would help them, then they had to help themselves.
As if solidifying his sudden resolve, the presence behind him spoke up again; hands ghosting on his broad shoulders.
'It doesn't matter if it has flesh and bones. An animal; a human. If you need to; if you're ordered to, then shoot.'
'Focus only on your task and complete it without delay. Any personal feelings or any outside thoughts are unnecessary.'
Quickly pulling himself from his deep thoughts, the man refocused on the task at hand. The time had come. It was time to shoot. Comfortably dropping down to one knee, Kazuki stared intently through the scope and moved his finger to the trigger. With how close the scouts were, he could see the billowing breaths of the worked horses hanging in the air, the sweat upon their necks as they kept onwards with stifling determination. Though exhausted, their steps remained steady and their gait never faltered. Kiyoshi dimly thought to spare the horses if he could, for they had done no wrong. Narrowing his eyes, the man began to pull back the trigger, the weight of the moment making everything feel as though it were happening in minutes rather than seconds.
The bartender beside the man was stupefied as he found that he had very little time to think of an alternative plan. He knew right then and there that he wouldn't allow the men to be killed, but he couldn't just stop Kazuki either. Heiwajima was at loss on what to do and found that his hands had found its way into his unruly hair and now was tugging at the dyed strands. He was so distressed and lost in thought that he wasn't paying any mind to what the man beside him was up to and when the blonde's brain finally caught up with the situation at hand, it was too late. The semi-automatic rifle shot off as fast as the brunette could pull the trigger. Before the men's ears could even ring, two shots had been fired. One had found purchase in a man's chest and the other; directly through the other's head. The world went back into real time again. The horses now thundering as fast as they could towards them in fright.
Kiyoshi's eyes widened as the reality of the situation hit him. It was as if the boom of the gun had brought him back to the surface. It had happened all so quickly that the horses hadn't even registered that their riders were dead. They continued on their path as their limp riders jostled in the saddle and eventually fell into the dust. Even then, they continued on. A horse's loyalty was nothing in the face of danger and would leave you stranded if they were spooked. From up here, Kazuki couldn't see any wounds or blood but the man knew exactly what they looked like and could picture the blood in his mind's eye. He had taken his first two lives and what he was unsettled the most about was that he felt no remorse whatsoever. He knew these men and saw the wrongs they had committed. They were no better than rabid dogs, no better than the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. These men deserved what was coming to them. If no divine being would inflict their punishment, then Kazuki would fill in on their job. The adrenaline was still coursing through him and he felt as though he'd finally made a change, finally took a stand to avenge the innocents that had been taken from this world by these two's hands, but as the adrenaline drained from him,he felt his resolve dwindling. The complete shattering of his resolve happened when an eye-opening fist met the side of his cheek; knocking him to the side.
"What the fuck!", Shizuo roared, his body shaking and his fists balled up so tight that his nails threatened to cut into his palms.
Kiyoshi said nothing and stared back blankly. He didn't feel entirely wrong for what he did, but he also didn't feel entirely right about it either. Was he thinking too deeply into it? There wasn't anything else he could have done. He couldn't have talked them out of it, couldn't have even been able to just hold them hostage and take them along with them. This was the only way, just as Izaya had stated. What would the man even say to him when he got back? Would he comment on what had happened, tell him he'd done well? Would he tell him what he did was right? Kazuki found himself wanting the validation; wanting to be told that he'd done what was absolutely needed. He was unsure of himself where, likewise, Izaya was. Was this not Orihara's idea, his decision? Kazuki'd only carried out an order on his behalf, so he was sure that the man had strong and convincing reasons as to why this needed to be done. The raven would put his mind to rest, settle his thoughts.
The bartender was in shambles. His vision had gone nearly black as he tried to keep himself from doing something he'd regret. He'd hesitated. Again. This time though, the consequences were more drastic than simply being forced to take a nap for a little while. Two lives were lost and it was all his fault. Shizuo refused to blame Kiyoshi for this, no, he was manipulated by Izaya; manipulated into thinking that this was the way.
"What did he say to you!?", Shizuo demanded as he towered over the man who was slowly crawling to his feet. "What did he say to make you think that this was the right thing to do?!"
Kiyoshi paused his movements and slowly brought his gaze up to Heiwajima's; his eyes wide and showing his shock at everything clearly.
"Who?"
"Izaya!"
Kazuki blinked and then continued to stand.
"Izaya...Orihara... I have to see him."
The blonde man put a foot on the brunette's shoulder and pushed him onto his back again; holding him there. The brunette didn't even fight it. Shizuo felt pity wash over him. Another person broken by Izaya.
"Not until you tell me why.", the debt collector said dangerously, stressing his words by adding weight under his foot.
Kiyoshi swallowed, his eyes watering a bit as he made a choked sound.
"There was no other way.", the man nearly whispered as his body took to shaking again.
That was right. There had been no other way. Shizuo had been too busy freaking out to realize that there really had been no other way. Sure they could have run, but how long could they have kept that up for? How long would it have been before they had hit the end; went as far as they could have possibly gone? No matter which way you looked at it, this was the only way to go about it without simply handing over Kazuki, an innocent man who had done nothing but let himself be dragged into something that was more than he bargained for and decided he wanted out.
The blonde looked down at the man again and saw the shock and look of disbelief on his features. This is what their world had been reduced to. Good hearted men were being reduced to shaking messes after being forced to do something they usually would never even dream of doing.
"The world has no room for the good anymore.", Heiwajima found himself murmuring softly as he continued to look down at the man who was now looking at him with that same expression of shock.
It was true. The world no longer catered to the good guys anymore. Shizuo will sooner or later be faced with this same choice again; to either die or kill. He'd faced the choice once already, and had chosen to let Izaya do as he will as he felt his conscious slipping into black. Had he not hesitated he might've just decided to kill that damn bastard. The outcome had been a fifty-fifty split. It could have gone either way. Because of this fact, he couldn't blame Kiyoshi for what he'd come so close to doing himself.
"Let's get the fuck out of here.", the blonde said finally, stepping back away from the man still on his back; not being able to stand this place any longer.
Their walk back had been silent and nothing more than a blur. Everything had happened so quickly that it almost felt like it hadn't happened, but both men knew for fact that it had. The moon, their only witness in what had transpired, was now high in the sky; its pale beams beating down on them as they dragged themselves quietly back to Izaya. Each man was lost in their own thoughts, struggling with their own personal battles; both trapped in the same type of misery. The only difference was that while one was set to hate himself for all his life for what had happened, the other was hoping that Orihara could erase all the doubt.
Behind the pair, Kazuki's great dapple grey horse followed after them. The horse had been lingering around the building his owner was in and had trotted over to them immediately once he saw the brunette leaving. The steady footsteps of the heavy beast was weirdly steading as were the occasional sounds Hizoku made as he trudged along behind them. As they neared the house that Shizuo had left the raven in, the stallion caught scent of the other two and promptly left them in the dust as he immediately broke out into a gallop to meet them. The two men felt themselves sink lower into their minds now that the distracting presence of the stallion was no longer there. Before they could sink too far in though, the blonde spoke up suddenly.
"Just up ahead. The last house to the left.", Heiwajima said gruffly, jerking his head in the direction of the porch.
The brunette vaguely nodded as he fell into step beside the other man, rather than behind him. From where they stood, they could see the house clearly and no signs of movement stirred from within. No shadows went past any windows and no flickering lights of a dimly lit candle shone through the drapes. Either Izaya was still sleeping or the man just liked to keep a low profile. Shizuo doubted that it was the first. Orihara wasn't one to sleep much at all in the first place. The man's job required him to stay awake and active for long periods of time with only short naps in between; regardless of how beat up he was from previous run-ins with Heiwajima or some lucky bastard who'd managed to catch him. In any case, the bartender was sure that the informant was awake, which was a shame since he was not in the mood to hear his snarky remarks at the moment. There was no doubt in his mind that the man would immediately try and rub him the wrong way.
When they made it inside to find Orihara on the couch, expression cold and serious rather than in a creepily warm and uppity mood, Shizuo felt the need to leave immediately. The raven's gaze was calculating as his burgundy eyes raked over the pair. Apparently, the man did not like what he saw for a rare frown appeared on his face. Heiwajima, not wanting to be questioned, turned and walked straight back out of the door. He didn't feel tired much anyways and wanted to be alone so that he could calm himself and come to terms with what had happened. He felt bad for leaving Kazuki to his own devices, but the man apparently liked being around the manipulative fleabag and couldn't wait to come back to him like some dog with a twisted sense of loyalty.
"Disgusting.", Shizuo murmured lowly as he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked over to where Raiju was looking over at him in interest.
Back inside, Kiyoshi was standing a step into the house where the blonde had left him. His head was bowed to hide the shameful tears that began to gather in his eyes. They were not tears of remorse, but tears of self-pity. He was feeling sorry for himself, sorry that he was so unsure. Why was he so conflicted? They had deserved what had been coming to them.
Izaya watched the man's fists curl into themselves tightly in silence as he looked over the situation carefully. This man was close to breaking and dangerously so. He should have known that the task would be too much for him. Kazuki was too soft-hearted to have walked away unscarred.
"Kazuki.", Izaya said suddenly, making the man nearly jump out of his skin. "What's wrong? You're not feeling guilty about what you did are you?"
The brunette's tired and blank eyes slowly drifted up to look the still seated man in the eye. Kiyoshi's throat felt incredibly dry, but he refused the idea of reaching in a saddlebag to get himself some water.
"Orihara I-", Kazuki swallowed dryly as he forced his brain to gather his thoughts. "I killed someone."
The informant leaned forward a bit in the couch as he looked at the taller man intently.
"Yes you did. You killed two people, in fact but because you had to. In order to survive, we need to do things that we don't enjoy doing. That's the way life is."
The ex-soldier's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the man with something akin to frustration.
"How can you just sit there nonchalantly like this is nothing? You have no idea what it's like to kill someone by your own hand…"
Izaya's eyes narrowed a bit as his frown deepened.
"You're right, I have no clue at all. I don't know what it feels like to have pulled a trigger and ended someone's life but I can tell you one thing, I would have done the same if it had absolutely came down to it. Though I doubt it would have ever gotten to that point.", Orihara said lightly and cheerfully , leaving the serious state he was in before and leaning back in the couch again. " They were after you after all and if you hadn't have wanted to take on the job of ridding them I would have tied you to a tree and left clear clues to where you were so they would take you and stop pursuing us."
Kiyoshi was silent at that as he averted his gaze again. He still felt no better than he did before; he still felt conflicted. Unsure. Izaya noticed this and sighed deeply before standing up. He had one more tactic. If this didn't work than nothing would. With an air of complete seriousness, the informant walked over to Kazuki. The man wouldn't look at him, but as soon as the smaller brushed his fingers against the man's cheek, the brunette looked him squarely in the eye. When warm green met a cold and unnerving blood red, the man found himself unable to focus on anything else other than the informant and thus couldn't look away again.
Orihara held the man captive with his eyes in silence for many long seconds as his cold fingers remained where they were, a small brushing reminder for Kiyoshi to pay close attention. He would only say this once, so he wanted to be absolutely sure that the brunette was entirely focused on him and only him. After narrowing his eyes slightly and receiving a confused look after that, he knew that Kazuki was listening.
"You had to do it. There was no other way.", Izaya stated again slowly. "If you hadn't had done it, I would have handed you over to them. To the people who not only go against their word of honor, but men who have changed from soldiers to criminals. Though I love them all the same, they truly are the most despicable humans I've ever had the chance to observe."
After saying those words, Orihara removed himself from the man; making sure to let his fingers linger for as long as possible so that he could hold Kiyoshi's attention.
"Tell me,", the raven began as he walked towards the sliding glass door behind the couch. "Are you familiar with the term 'An eye for an eye?'"
Kiyoshi shook his head slowly, but then realized that the other man wasn't looking at him.
"Ah no… I'm guessing it's an English proverb?"
"Ah and you would be right. Very good Kazuki-san!" , izaya said as he ran his fingers through the long blinds hanging in front of the sliding glass door before turning. "An eye for an eye, or the law of retaliation, is the principle that a person who has injured another person is to be penalized to a similar degree or in softer interpretations. The victim receives the estimated value of the injury in compensation. In similar words, the punishment of a person is correspondent in kind and degree of the injury."
Izaya sighed as he saw a slight look of confusion pass the man's features, before it finally clicked and his expression became neutral again.
"I understand, but what does that have to do with what happened?", Kiyoshi asked as he found himself looking at the man intently.
"I thought you'd be smarter than that Kazuki-san. Surely you can put two and two together…"
The brunette's eyebrows furrowed once again as he desperately sought to put all the pieces together. When he drew up blank, the man looked to Orihara again desperately wanting the man to fill in what he was missing.
"I would bet the rest of my money in my savings account that those men had killed an innocent before or had done something just as bad. The punishment they received was as equal value to that of their crimes. An eye for an eye, a life for a life.", Izaya said as he walked back towards Kazuki.
Well the raven had guessed well for the two men had killed many already. If their punishment had to have been equal to their crimes, then they surely shouldn't have been given such a painless, quick death.
"An eye for an eye…,huh?", Kazuki parroted, his eyes distant.
"Yes, an eye for an eye. It was only a fair payment. You've done well Kazuki-san.", Izaya breathed, his fingers brushing against Kiyoshi's cheek again, pulling the man from his musings.
The brunette had to suck in air when he saw the absolutely steady and undoubting look in Orihara's eyes. The man truly believed that he'd done no wrong; that he'd done what he'd needed to. The brunette let out a shuddering breath as tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. He tried leaning into the informant's soft touch, but the other man was already retreating again. He wanted to feel the press of Izaya's cool skin against his own, to pull the smaller into a hug and feel his worries slip entirely away but it would be a sin to Orihara's nature to make it that easy. He gave just enough to keep the ex-soldier wanting and attentive to him; never less and never more. Though Kiyoshi knew that Izaya was purposefully keeping him on edge like this, he couldn't find it in himself to even be slightly frustrated. The informant had given him the reassurance he'd needed, which is what had mattered to Kazuki most.
"Kida.", Saki murmured as he ran her fingers through the blonde's dyed strands.
"Hmm?", Masaomi grunted in response as he enjoyed the feeling of his girlfriend's hands in his hair.
"You're scared.", she stated calmly as she looked outside the window beside her to see that the city was still enveloped in chaos.
The initial terrorist attack had died down and now the criminals were running around and taking advantage of the situation by pillaging anything they came across. They'd thankfully found somewhere to hide out until everything died down just in time to avoid this uproar. The apartment they were currently in was a lucky find, abandoned by the original owner so that they could make a break for it.
"I am.", Kida said as he reached up to grasp one of Saki's hands in his own. "Aren't you?"
The brunette hummed softly in thought for a few moments as she looked at the never-ending violence happening on the streets below.
"No.", she murmured softly, shaking her head as she smiled down at her boyfriend.
"And why is that?", The blonde asked curiously, his big brown eyes looking up at her in question.
Saki was silent for a few moments before she shrugged her shoulders.
"I just don't fear death.", she responded simply.
"You should though."
"Hmmm...Maybe."
They let the air around them go quiet as they enjoyed each other's presence; Kida's head on Saki's lap as she continued to detangle his soft locks.
"Are you thinking of running away?"
Masaomi's eyes widened in shock as he nearly choked on his spit. His expression calmed though when he realized that the brunette was still completely calm and unaccusing.
"Never again.", the teen said, his grip on the girl's hand tightening to stress his words. "I'll stay by your side and protect you until the very end. I promise."
Saki looked down at the blonde's steady and even gaze. The conviction behind his eyes showed that he meant every word he'd said. He wouldn't run; not again.
"I believe you.", She said simply as she continued to rake through the blonde's hair.
Masaomi held her gaze for a few more long moments before he moved his hand from her's and instead placed it on her cheek. The brunette smiled knowingly as if she knew what he was going to say already.
"Saki...I love you."
The girl's smile widened to the point where her eyes narrowed a bit. A sign that she was overwhelmingly happy.
"I love you too Masaomi.", she said without hesitation as she bent down slowly to place a soft kiss on the blonde's forehead.
Kida opened his eyes and sat up quickly as the last traces of lingering touches and soft murmurings drifted from his mind. The room was still dark around him as the first beginning signs of morning began to show through the small window between his and Aoba's beds. Masaomi snuffled softly and wiped his eyes of the tears that had fallen without his permission. God, if Kuronuma knew about this-
"Masaomi.", Aoba called out to the blonde, making the older teen startle a bit.
"I'm fine! It's just- I'm fine…", Kida said quickly as he viciously wiped at his eyes.
Aoba looked at him with disbelieving eyes, but granted he held no pity in his gaze. Masaomi was thankful for that. The younger teen seemed to have been up for a while now, his knees pulled up to his chest and his head slightly cocked to the side.
"Did I wake you up?", Masaomi asked as he snuffled again and turned his head away from Kuronuma to stare at the table near the door.
Aoba made a sound of affirmation as he shifted and moved to stand slowly and stiffly.
"It's fine though. I was sleeping for a while already.", the teen said as he climbed onto Kida's bed, moving over the blonde's body to lay by the wall.
"What are you doing?", Kida asked with less irritation than he intended.
"Sharing body heat. It's cold.", the raven said simply as he crawled under the covers and moved towards the wall more so their skin wouldn't touch.
Masaomi sighed. It was pretty cold in the room.
"And this isn't weird to you at all?"
Kuronuma scoffed at that.
"Not as weird as having to use your stomach as a pillow that one time or being bear-hugged from behind for hours on end in the horse wagon when my wrist was broken.", Aoba said as he rolled his eyes. "At this point this should be nothing since we've been practically plastered to one another these past few days"
Kida sighed at that and averted his eyes from the smaller as the raven turned over to face the wall he was against. Sometimes he forgot that the smaller was just as blunt as Izaya. The blonde ignored that comment and laid back down again, his face towards Aoba's bed.
"You were dreaming of Saki.", the raven said as he pushed himself back enough so that his and Kida's backs were pressed together.
Masaomi sighed through his nose. Had he said her name out loud or was it just a lucky guess? Either way, he had still hit the nail on the head. The blonde drew silent, not being able to force himself to affirm the younger teen's suspicions, which was okay since it was clear that Aoba already knew anyways. The sound of frogs and crickets still making their mating calls filled in the quiet for them though as Kida found comfort in Kuronuma's body heat.
"What happened in your dream?", the raven suddenly asked, bringing the blonde back from his comfortable haze.
Kida knew that if he lied then Aoba would know, but he still couldn't bring it in him to say. He didn't want to talk about it, let alone think about it. The dream had left him feeling absolutely devastated and heartsick; it was a reminder of his failure to protect. Saki was gone and he wasn't stupid enough to hope to ever see her again. If only he'd been fast enough in reaching her. He wouldn't have stood a chance against the Defense squad, but at least he would have been able to be with the brunette until the end if he'd been taken with her. Tears of frustration began to fall again and Masaomi couldn't hope to stop them this time.
Hearing the older start to make sniffling noises again, the smaller turned back over and to stare at the back of the blonde's head.
"Kida. You realize that there's no point in worrying about the past right?", Aoba asked as he sighed deeply.
"Can you do something for me?", Masaomi asked instead of answering.
Kuronuma groaned inwardly already knowing that whatever Kida was going to ask would be something he wouldn't want to do.
"What is it?", the raven asked instead of refusing immediately.
The blonde turned over to face Aoba slowly, his eyes still filled to the brim with water and a hesitant look in their brown depths. The younger teen felt himself began to prickle a bit. He didn't know how to deal with tears and could offer no words of comfort. It just wasn't his thing.
"Can I...?", the taller asked lowly, his arms slightly reaching towards Kuronuma. "Can I just…"
Aoba would have laughed at the endearing sight of Kida asking him if he could hold him if the situation had been less awkward for the younger. The raven wasn't good at physical contact either.
"Y-...Yeah.", Kuronuma agreed anyways.
This wasn't anything new after all, Masaomi had held him before but Aoba'd just been facing the other direction. Still… The crying and the need for comfort aspect of it changed it up a little bit. Before Kuronuma could change his mind about it though, the blonde snaked an arm under his ribs and one over them only to intertwine his arms at the smaller teen's back. He then pulled the raven towards him and rested his chin on top of Aoba's head. The raven went rigid in the older's grasp as his nose brushed against Kida's collar bone.
'Too close! Too close! Too close! Too close!', Kuronuma's mind screamed as he smelt the faint scent of pine on the older from his romp outside earlier.
This was far too intimate for him. They'd hated each other less than half a month ago and just began to tolerate one another in even less time than that. They hardly even knew each other enough to call each other friends. Sure they'd been practically glued together since they'd met up again, but it was only because it had been needed. This was different.
Feeling the smaller begin to squirm, Kida strengthened his grip on the raven and curled into him even more.
"Please, Aoba.", the blonde begged. "Just this once."
Kuronuma fell still again as he reluctantly let the blonde seek comfort in him. If this would make him feel better so that he wasn't a wreck for the rest of the day, then it was worth this small sacrifice. They needed to be sharp so they could figure a way out of here before they were moved somewhere else.
"Just this once.", the younger sighed as he let his body go limp.