It's over now

It had been three hours, twenty-five minutes and five seconds (six, seven, eight…) since the Doctor had left and yes, Rose was most certainly counting. She wasn't sure if she was regretting her decision to stay, but she definitely felt unhappy about the whole thing. She had obligations here, her family was here and oh god she had made a mistake! No… NO! She had made the right choice, she was older now, wiser, a different person and she needed the Doctor to realize that this one-sided relationship didn't work for her anymore. She had chosen him so many times, without getting anything in return, and now that she needed him to show her it had not been in vain, he had failed.

Rose was so caught up in her internal ramblings that she didn't even notice Gwen sitting down next to her. "We've been looking for you."

"Sorry" Rose mumbled.

"Nah it's okay, better than watching Jack and your mum fight.""They're fighting?"

"Oh yes!" Gwen put her aim around Rose. "So he really just left?"

"Something like that. He was disappointed in me" Rose said and rested her head on Gwen's shoulder.

"I'm sure he wasn't. It's definitely been a weird couple of days, maybe he just need time to let it sink in. Then he'll come around, you'll see.""I don't think so Gwen. He's so stubborn and we both said some pretty nasty things."

"I'm sure it's not that bad. You can tell me about him, if you want? He seemed like a nice man, not as old a I imagined. And handsome."

"He is nice, just… Stubborn. And rude, he's so rude sometimes. But really smart, like out of this world smart. With great hair."

"Really great hair" Gwen agreed with a smile.

"Maybe we should go back to the hub? I don't want my mum killing Jack. What are they fighting about anyway?""Jack offered your dad a job."

"Really?""Yeah, Torchwood one, in London, it's never really been rebuild. Jack offered the job to Pete, but now you're mum's furious because she feels it too dangerous.""Sounds like her."

"Tosh is working on creating ID's for them. Obviously the whole lot of you are either dead or not existing, so it's going to take her a little time, but she'll get it done.""Poor mum. All her life, she's lived the same place. All her friends were there, her whole life, and now she can never go back.""Same for you" Gwen noted.

"I gave that up years ago. Gave up everything to be with the Doctor. It didn't even matter. But it's going to be hard for mum, never going back."

"She'll manage, don't you think? You Tylers sound like survivors to me."

When Rose and Gwen returned to the hub things seemed to have cooled off. Jackie was nowhere in sight and Rose figured Pete and Jack were discussing specifics in Jack's office. Mickey was annoying the hell out of Owen and Jake, Tim and Duncan were playing foosball.

"Rose are you alright? Your friend came by a couple of hours ago and said goodbye" Tosh said.

"Your mum gave him one hell of a slap" Owen said and grinned like a madman. "Then she yelled and called Martha and Donna tarts."

"Oh god" Rose grumbled.

"Then Jack had to intervene and then she slapped him. Twice" Tosh said.

"Pete and Mickey had to hold her back while Jack and the Doctor kept Donna at bay. Things were quite feral" Ianto said and handed Rose a cup of tea. It was perhaps the first time he had been nice to her.

"Captain Cheesecake yelled at the Doctor for a while and then they left and since then it's been really quiet" Mickey piped in. He took in Rose's sad state and her swollen eyes. "Told you he was just like any other guy, Rose."

"Mickey shut up" Jackie's voice boomed through the hub. Rose barely managed to turn around before she was enveloped in a hug. "I'm so sorry, dear" she whispered and that was the final straw for Rose, who completely broke down.

It took Rose three days to finally get out of bed. She felt a smidgen of pride at that, it was less than half the time it took her last time. Jackie and Gwen had been camped out in her living room in those days, taking turns in lying in the bed with her, just staring at the ceiling, sometimes watching reruns of Trisha and EastEnders. Jack came by a few times, mostly just to talk in hushed tones with Gwen. Owen had stopped by once, but left shortly after because he didn't know what to say. Tosh visited the second day and stayed for three episodes of EastEnders and dinner. Pete and Mickey had both been kicked out by Jackie when they told Rose that the Doctor was just another stupid bloke and she just needed to get out there again. The most surprising had been Ianto's visit the third day. He'd brought food and made them all tea and pie and sat through a couple of episodes of Trisha with Rose, laughing at the ridiculous people on the show. After that, Rose had decided it was time to get up (Ianto had told her she had started to smell a bit stale).

"You feel better, sweetheart?"

"Yeah mum. Thanks for staying over. You too, Gwen" Rose said.

They were all sitting around her small dining table eating ships. Rose had spent the better part of an hour in the shower while Gwen went for food and Jackie had cleaned out the apartment.

"Don't mention it" Gwen said and smiled. "It was nice to get a break from World War III going on at home."

"Are you and Rhys ever going to work this out" Rose asked. Honestly she wondered why Gwen was wasting her time with a guy who obviously would never understand her lifestyle, but Rose also knew she was being hypocritical; after all, she had spent the last five years pining away for a man who refused to define their relationship and had dumped her after…""Rose, are you blushing?"

Rose turned to look at her mother with a weird expression. "No, no… Am I?"

"You look all flushed. What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, must be because I'm tired" Rose said and faked a yawn.

Jackie nodded and started to clear the table, but Gwen gave her a light slap on the arm. "You've been sleeping for the better part of the three days! You were thinking about the Doctor! Tired my arse!"

"Shut up" Rose grumbled, but couldn't hide a small smile before getting up.

"Just tell me again!"

"Donna, I have told you five times already.""But I don't understand it.""Then you probably never will" the Doctor sneered and gave the TARDIS a hard whack with the hammer.

"Don't you be all rude with me, space boy! Explain why Rose isn't here right now!"

"Because she didn't want to, okay? She didn't want to come!"

"I don't believe that for one second" Donna retorted.

"You can believe whatever you like" the Doctor answered and vanished underneath the controls.

"But… This isn't how it's supposed to happen" Donna argued. She had expected the Doctor and Rose to fill up the TARDIS with lovey-dovey talk and make-out sessions, not a very sudden departure from Cardiff (her coat was still lying on Owen's desk in the hub) and a constantly scowling Doctor. The only one who seemed to be happy about this whole mess was Martha, who Donna had sent away because she kept grinning like she was the bloody Mad Hatter or something.

"That's usually how it goes in my life" the Doctor mumbled from his position.

"I thought you wanted to be with her" Donna said in a sad voice.

"Sometimes that's just not enough!"

"But what does that mean, it's not enough? You love her! How can that not be enough?""It just isn't. Can't you go bother Martha instead?"

Donna decided to let that one go, because it was obvious the Doctor was quite distressed about the whole situation. Ever since their departure he had been sneering at both her and Martha, hammering away at the TARDIS, sometimes yelling at it in some weird alien language, yelling at her in some alien language, yelling at other aliens in an alien language… He had not been himself ever since and Donna didn't understand what could possibly have happened between him and Rose to make the blonde choose to stay behind. "Did you ask her to come along?"

"Yes" he answered in an exasperated voice. "She wouldn't. Can you please just leave it?"

"Why didn't you stay there, then?"

She could hear him sigh. "Donna, please… It's not that simple. A lot has happened and… I can't just stay in Cardiff because Rose wants to be with her mother.""Why not?"

"Because…. I just can't. Rose is a different person now, we are both different persons now…""You want to know what I think" Donna asked.

"Not really" the Doctor said, but Donna just ignored him.

"I think it was easier for you to love Rose when she was stuck in that other world. It was easier, because you didn't have to do anything about it, you didn't need to. And now it's hard, because she's here and she wants you to tell her how you feel, but you're scared. You're so scared to just let go and take a chance, to love someone and truly let them inside."

The Doctor emerged from underneath the controls and it was perhaps the saddest she had ever seen him look. "Rose will die… Some day, Rose will die. She will wither and she will die and if I stay, I'll be forced to watch that. I can't do that, Donna. I've lost so much already, I can just stand by and watch Rose…" He choked on the last word and Donna felt a small part of her own single heart break as she sat down beside him and just let him cry about all the misery in his life.

AN: I passed my exam! Yay! I even managed to get a pretty decent grade, which completely surprised me. Thanks for the reviews (and a speciel thanks to those who were kind enough to wish me good luck with my exam, obviously it worked!), as always it brightens my day and lifts my mood, so please keep them coming as I pretty much live for them (so sad, I know).
About the story, it's going to get bad before it get's good, so I hope you will all stay with me, even if I am horribly cruel to Rose and the Doctor right now. Oh, and I question, because I'm super curious: What did you think of the end of season 4 and Rose ending up with duplicate Doctor? I felt sort of sad about it, but on the other hand it was probably the happiest ending Rose could get