I, ASSASSIN

Chapter Nineteen

The dining room in the Boudreaux house was the only room downstairs that Remy hadn't ever entered before (other than Marius's private study). It was a large square room with butterscotch walls, white wainscotting, huge shuttered windows, and expensive damask drapes.

According to Bella Donna (whom he had only seen for two minutes in the hallway an hour earlier when she'd come to advise him where dinner would be) it was rarely ever used unless there were real guests.

At one end of the rectangular table, sat the Grand Master, another ridiculously kitsch suit (this time in dark red), with his bride-to-be Adele sitting at his right, the woman dressed up to the nines with diamond earrings, a tight black dress, her hair up in an elegant chignon. Bella Donna sat at her grandpere's left side, and Remy thought perhaps if he didn't feel so ill today he'd have appreciated how stunning she looked in her duck-egg and black polka-dot summer dress, her hair in fishtail braids, her makeup subtle and pink. As it was he was having a hard time focusing on anything other than how terrible he felt, he hadn't felt right for a few days but today it was worse than it had ever been.

Marius sat at the other end of the table, his hand always seeming to be on the stem of his Chardonnay glass, he seemed preoccupied although he wouldn't share why. Remy had thought to ask more than once but kept his mouth shut; he had enough of his own problems without caring about what Marius thought or felt today.

Bella Donna chewed her pork roast, eyes swaying towards her grandfather and the blonde almost half his age who were giving each other eyes and holding hands over the table. Every now and then something would be said in French between the two and Bella Donna would get that immediate look of disgust for the woman.

The conversation was civil, but Remy heard the tension in both Marius and Bella Donna's voices when they spoke to the Grand Master. It was clear to Remy immediately they did not care for Adele. It was understandable why, he supposed. Not only was the woman clearly some kind of gold digger, but she was also irritating, a snob, and incredibly rude.

" This pork is very dry and chewy...and rather bland, " she announced in French, making sure that Aceline (who was not invited to dinner but was still fulfilling her role as housekeeper, cook and servant) was in the room to hear the insult.

Bella Donna raised her eyes from her own plate, fork poised. "Well I think it's absolutely delightful," she said in English, and she made extra effort to make her accent sound very thick and almost common. Remy realised at once she was doing it to annoy the woman, who seemed to prefer genteel behaviour and graces.

Remy gave Aceline an apologetic look as she placed another bottle of Chardonnay upon the table, taking away the empty. He felt bad for the woman. Adele St. Dubois had been here only eleven hours and already she was trying to make the woman's life a misery.

Marius downed the contents of his glass, and swiftly poured himself another. Remy hadn't been counting, but he was almost certain the man was on his fourth glass. This was the third bottle that had been brought to the table.

Adele sniffed at her own wine before sipping it, and she made a face of absolute detest, " What is this swill?! " she demanded.

Remy's eyes turned to Marius, who responded.

" That would be Chardonnay. " Marius said, Remy thought Marius's French was absolutely impeccable, although he was sure Adele would find fault with that too as she had been finding fault with everything else since she had arrived.

" This is cheap and disgusting. Did you not have any Clos du Mesnil? "

Remy didn't know much about wine, but he let the absurd laugh from Marius speak for itself as he sat there not eating much of his dinner (avoiding the meat at all costs) and trying to take his mind off of the fact that he not only felt miserable but also felt strangely unwell.

" Clos du Mesnil?" he laughed loudly, blinking. " You think I'm gonna waste a thousand dollar bottle of champagne on a damn pig roast and an apple pie?! " Marius demanded.

Bella Donna glanced over to Remy, a sigh escaping her lips.

" You would think you would put a little care and effort into entertaining your guests, Marius, " remarked Adele rather coldly.

Remy's eyes swayed between them both as he chewed his carrots, it was the only thing on the plate he could bring himself to eat. He couldn't touch the pork...he just couldn't. That pig had been cut by him...he still had the blood from that pig stuck beneath his fingernails. It was strange he thought, how the room was too hot and yet at the same time he felt a slight chill. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination.

"Aren't you hungry?" Bella Donna asked of Remy worriedly, her eyes falling on his plate of which very little had been touched.

Remy didn't get the chance to respond, Marius looked at him.

"Eat your meat," he commanded.

He would have answered that he felt a little hot and sick, that the heat was getting to him, that there was no ventilation in the room, that his head was swimming a little, but he was afraid those truths would all get him in more hot water than he already was boiling in. Remy was almost glad for The Grand Master's interruption.

" You want a nice bottle to drink, my darling girl, you'll have it, " he smiled, his teeth were slightly crooked and yellow.

Remy supposed the old bastard had every reason to smile, and every reason to accommodate the snooty bitch and her taste for expensive things...he'd probably get laid tonight. If not, Remy couldn't see any other reason he'd put up with the insufferable woman.

" Adelaide! " the old man called out to Aceline who was in the kitchen.

Aceline came, her face seeming flushed, her eyes hiding the anger at being called the wrong name for what was probably the hundredth time that day. " Yes, sir? "

" You go down to the wine cellar and you bring up that nice old bottle of Clos du Mesnil, the one he keeps hidden in secret cellar in the false wall. And some clean glasses...don't want that nasty cheap Chardonnay tainting it. "

Marius's eyes seemed to flicker with anger as he looked at his father, "That nasty cheap Chardonnay was eighty dollars a damn bottle," he hissed.

Remy reached out to his own glass and he took a sip; the stuff was surprisingly pleasant, although he knew very little about wine and preferred fine beers and ciders if he was going to drink at all. In his opinion, wine was an acquired taste, and he didn't normally like it. This was fine, he couldn't understand why Adele was kicking up such a fuss.

Because she can, I guess, he supposed. He wondered how many glasses it would take to get drunk on this. He doubted there was enough of it at the table, and even if there had been, Marius seemed to have the first dibs on it.

Getting drunk would just about suit him right now though, but he couldn't afford to cut loose. He couldn't even go out to a bar to escape for a bit.

Even if I was allowed to go out...there'd be eyes and ears everywhere...they probably got a spy planted in every place for the next hundred miles, they got that tracker on my bike. I'm fucked.

Remy wondered how long it'd be before they insisted they cut into him and implant a tracker under his skin too. After all the extremes this training had gone to, it seemed that something like that wasn't highly unlikely...they'd want to protect their investment after all.

Bella Donna threw a look at her grandfather; Remy wondered what she was thinking. Was she thinking of what a fool the old man was at bringing home this forty year old woman as his bride-to-be? Or was she thinking about the boy she as betrothed to marry in two years?

"Eat the pork," the Grand Master said to Remy, his voice harsh.

Remy gazed down at the plate, his stomach churning. He couldn't...he just couldn't. He felt all the eyes at the table on him, including that horrible little dog Muffin, who was sitting in the seat opposite him at the table (in his opinion it was very disrespectful that Adele expected this to be allowed), every now and then its teeth would show just a little, it's eyes black like coal.

"Grandpere, he's not hungry," Bella Donna said softly.

"He ain't eaten all day," her grandfather retorted, he flashed a warning glance towards Remy, "eat the damn pork."

Marius downed the glass of Chardonnay, saying nothing. Remy almost mistook – for a second – a sympathetic gaze from the man, but it was quickly replaced. Remy wondered if he'd imagined it, or if Marius had quickly recomposed himself for his father's benefit.

"Eat the damn pork, I said!" snapped The Grand Master.

Remy stared down at it, nausea rising in his throat, body seeming to vibrate with apprehension.

"Eat it! Claim your goddamn kill and eat what you put on the goddamn table!"

"For God's sake," Marius sighed, "LeBeau, eat the damn pork, he ain't gonna let up."

Remy cut into the pork, hands shaking as he did and he put a large bite into his mouth; he'd known even before he had done so that it would be a mistake. Almost immediately it came back up; vomit projected over the table, splattering on Muffin and Adele's black dress.

Adele let out a shriek, hands up in the air, eyes wide in horror.

"Remy..." gasped Bella Donna as she got up and run around the table, she grabbed the ice bucket from the cabinet beneath the window, spilled the ice out onto the table and held it in front of him just in time as the next wave came up.

Shaking, pale, cold and sweating, Remy threw up and continued to throw up for some moments, stomach shaking violently. The taste of the pig had only brought up the horrors that he'd seen in that slaughterhouse, the things he'd done, the blood on his hands.

" My dress! " shrieked Adele, it was barely audible over the sound of her yappy little dog barking at Remy, feeling attacked by the vomit.

Remy heard Marius uttering something about paying for dry cleaning, Bella Donna was standing with the bucket under his face, her hand sweeping his hair back from his head tenderly.

" Adelaide! Come here and clean this shit up! " yelled the Grand Master, he then turned to his son, his eyes blazing with anger. "That boy ain't right for this! You're a damn fool dragging him into our Guild!" he burst furiously.

"He weren't conditioned for this kind of life from birth like we were, father," snapped Marius, "You never felt sickened by your own actions at one time or another?" he demanded.

"He will cause nothing but trouble, and you put him out on a contract, he will bring us all down!" the old man snarled.

Bella Donna stroked Remy's hair gently, "You don't look so good..."

"I'm fine," Remy muttered, he didn't want any more attention, throwing up on the dinner table, the pork roast, the dog and the Grand Master's fiancee was bad enough without any more fuss.

"Daddy...maybe we should get him to a doctor?"

"Don't be stupid," the Grand Master interjected, "that's fear, not illness..."

"He's runnin' a fever," Bella Donna responded, her cool hand pressed against his forehead. "feel..."

Marius – who was already standing – put a hand out and pressed it to Remy's forehead, he waited a moment, his expression concentrated, "she's not lyin'."

"I'm fine," Remy muttered, pushing his mentor's hand away shakily.

"Boy is just actin', lookin' for sympathy, hopin' you take it easy on him..."

"What, you think that's soup he just threw up?" Marius demanded, "father, dinner is over, take your fiancee upstairs and go to bed. I'm calling the doctor for him. Belle, get him up to his room, get him to bed and make sure he has a bucket next to him. If he gets any puke on that antique rug I'll tan his hide."

Bella Donna nodded and helped Remy up.

The walk up the stairs seemed much longer than it had earlier in the day. He'd been feeling slightly off for days but had dismissed it as exhaustion, as he had with the nausea from what he'd seen and done as of late. It was one of the reasons why he hadn't complained about any of it.

"Why didn't you say you weren't feelin' good?" Bella Donna asked as they walked up the stairs slowly.

"I'm fine, just tired..."

"You're pale. You've been pale for days."

He had no excuse for that, he hadn't noticed too much; in the morning when he'd see himself in the mirror he supposed he looked pale but he'd dismissed it. People usually looked pale and dark under the eyes first thing in the morning. There was nothing unusual about that.

In the guest room, Bella Donna began unbuttoning his shirt and he caught her hands weakly, "don't..."

"You're covered in puke," she admonished.

"Your daddy-"

"My Daddy told me to bring you up here and put you to bed," she explained, unbuttoning the shirt completely and sliding it down his shoulders gingerly trying to not touch the vomit as she rolled it up and tossed it to the hardwood floor out of the way. As she reached for his pants, he flinched from her touch.

"I'm fine, chere," he lied, trying to show a brave face, "just...tired...that's all. If I can sleep I'll feel better..." he explained. "You better go find me a bucket or somethin'..."

Bella Donna left the bedroom to search out something should he need to be sick again, and Remy quickly stripped to his boxers and slipped beneath the covers, sighing as his head hit the cool pillow. He lay there for a few moments, thankful for the peacefulness of the room, and the coolness of the sheets. He heard Bella Donna approaching, but he felt too drained to even open his eyes.

He let her think he'd fallen asleep, he heard her ask if he was still awake, but he said nothing and instead, lay still, breathing evenly, listening as she placed something nearby the bed. He felt her stroke his hair for a moment or so and lay contented with that. It seemed to be some moments later before he heard footsteps at the open door of his room.

Marius had entered the room, he gave a sigh, "Doctor be out in the next hour or so. Come on, out."

Remy listened as Bella Donna and Marius left the room; the door seemed to close halfway behind them but he could hear them out in the hallway.

"He looks terrible, daddy...he has for days."

"He said nothin'."

"How could he? Every time he opens his mouth you yell at him or...or give him threats. How could he admit he felt ill if you're constantly testin' him for weaknesses?! Always pointin' out that it's part of the plan, lettin' him know he has to suffer!"

"If he can't handle this life, Belle, you know what that means."

"You can't do that to him!" Bella Donna said almost desperately. "How would you like it if they did that to Julien?!"

"They won't," Marius said matter-of-factly. "Thieves are dishonest, but they ain't no killers."

"There, you said it yourself," she retorted. "Thieves aren't killers...he's a Thief."

"Then he needs to grow out of bein' a Thief and into bein' an Assassin. This isn't a game, Belle."

"You think I don't know that? You think he doesn't?" she gasped. "He knows this isn't a game, daddy. That's why he's so good at everythin' he puts his hand to."

"Except killing," Marius responded, his voice sombre.

"So there's one thing he doesn't excel at. Yet. But you know he will...he just needs time. You need to give him a break, let him recover..." Bella Donna softened her tone, trying to appeal to him.

"That ain't the way this works, Belle. The endurance trials have always been this way. Remy is trainin' to kill people, darling. Just like you. He has to be conditioned."

"Conditioned," she repeated, "not destroyed."

"You remember when I got you Louis?" Marius asked suddenly.

Bella Donna sighed, "What's a horse got to do with anything?"

"He was wild, remember? You couldn't go near him, he wouldn't let your ride him. We had to break him in. This is the same thing. Think of him as a wild stallion...Remy has to be broken in."

"Or what? You'll take him out to a field and shoot him like you had Freddy shot?"

Remy lay silent, thinking about Freddy; that had been the name of the dog that Bella Donna had shot. The one that had been dying anyway. He supposed he was just like the dog, he was diseased with life and marked for death no matter what he did.

"That was different, Freddy was ill, did you want him to suffer?"

"I didn't want him to suffer," Bella Donna responded, "you said it yourself, no livin' thing should be left to suffer. Remy counts..."

"That's different."

"Why?"

"Because it is. This has always been the way we've trained our initiates, you know that."

"Not this brutally."

"Always this brutally."

Bella Donna gave a frustrated sigh, "you have pushed him far harder than any of the others you ever trained. It ain't right! You can't punish him for bein' human."

"Don't matter; he knows a lot of our secrets now—"

"He never asked for any of it. You're givin' death-threats to a boy who was railroaded into this just like Julien was! It ain't fair."

"Belle-"

"You know Remy LeBeau could turn out to be the best Assassin in this guild," Bella Donna said, her voice low, her tone harsh, "I know you know that, you wouldn't ride him so much if you thought he was a waste of space, you'd let him fail if you thought there was even the slightest chance he wasn't worth all the trouble..."

Marius was silent.

"You know he has it in him. He might not be a stone-hearted killer, Daddy. Not yet...but you know he has the smarts, and you know he has the skill. He just needs time."

A sigh escaped Marius's lips, Remy listened closely, tried to focus. "His trainin' isn't completely in my hands, when father takes an interest-"

"At least insist on a little time off," Bella Donna pleaded, "He needs time to rest...he's gonna have a break down...and if Grandpere sees that..."

"I know," Marius sighed, "I'll take care of it, but you...you're the one who needs to learn how to detach. I saw the way you keep lookin' at him, and I've told you-"

"This isn't about that right now," Bella Donna insisted, "please...just...think about what I said."

Remy sighed as he heard the footsteps getting quieter as the two disappeared down the hall. At least Bella Donna was still fighting in his corner; however, that did not bode well for him. If he needed her to fight in his corner, it just proved one thing. Right now he did not have any fight in him for himself.

End of Chapter Nineteen

Much thanks to those who have reviewed so far. I'm glad people are liking the portrayal of Bella Donna as more than just a heartless cold bitch (as so many like to make her out to be, lol). It's fun writing her lol.