Fear lurked in the shadowy corners of the dorm. It crept closer as the moon shifted the patterns of dark across the room. It sat on his chest, teeth bared, eyes burning into his soul. Fear drove him from his bunk. Fear for his crewmates. Fear for himself. Slipping quietly from the dorm, Johnny brought his turnout gear to the break room, where he sat in the near dark for a long time. He could no longer deny to himself that Barnes was behind this recent spate of false alarms. This was entirely his fault and someone else might get hurt if he didn't do something. He knew what he had to do. There really wasn't any choice. Reluctantly he rose to fetch a pen and a piece of paper from Cap's office. Upon his return, he went into the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on. The white paper seemed to stare at him blankly while he waited for the coffee to be ready. When it finished brewing , he poured himself a cup and finally began writing out his resignation.
Just before the end of the shift, Johnny requested to see Cap in his office.
"Have a seat." Cap indicated the chair as he started to walk around the back of his desk.
"No, thanks. I'll stand." Johnny handed Cap a folded piece of paper.
Cap reached over for it, the premonition of what it might contain briefly flickering in his eyes. He read the short statement through and then asked, "Why, John?"
"Cap, please just accept the resignation and don't ask why," Johnny responded quietly, looking past his captain to the wall.
"Can't do it, pal. Take a seat."
After Johnny obeyed the order, Cap came back around the desk, pulling his chair behind him, then sat facing the paramedic, eyes searching for the answers to his questions. He knew Johnny was spooked by all the recent false alarms. There hadn't been any for such a long time; the last string like this had been in April, just before Johnny was beaten up. And then the false alarms suddenly stopped. Upon reaching a possible conclusion, he spoke. "What do you know that you're not telling?" When there was no answer, he guessed, "You know who's behind these false alarms?"
Johnny nodded, looking at the floor.
A phrase Roy said stuck in his mind. 'It's like he becomes a victim again.' What if Johnny actually was a victim again? Following his suspicion, he continued grimly, "This wouldn't happen to be the same guy who worked you over last April, would it?"
After a long pause, Johnny admitted, "Yeah."
"Who is it?" Cap's voice was flat and his eyes hard.
"Toby Barnes."
Cap knew about the incident at 127s, although he and Johnny had never had a reason to discuss it before now. He also knew that Barnes had been terminated from service in the fire department. "And you think if you resign, this will solve the problem?"
Johnny finally looked up at Cap. "I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me."
Cap leaned forward. "Did you ever think it may not be just you he's after? If you were to resign, what's to stop him from targeting another one of us next?"
Johnny sat back, face ashen. He had obviously not considered this as a possibility. He thought if he were no longer a firefighter, like Barnes, Barnes would be satisfied. He slowly shook his head.
"You'll talk with the police and the arson investigators?"
"Yes."
Cap nodded and made the calls. Hanging up the phone, he said, "They'll be here in half an hour. You might as well go shower and change."
The two men rose. Cap picked up the paper from the desk, re-folded it and grasped it in the middle by the thumbs and forefingers of both hands. "I can tear this up?" He asked, looking expectantly at Johnny.
"Yeah."
By the time he crossed the engine bay to the locker room, the resolve to stay and fight that he felt in Cap's office had already eroded. As if suddenly deaf, he walked past Roy to reach his locker. Whatever Roy was saying to him, he didn't hear; in fact, he didn't even hear his partner's voice over the sound of the blood in his own ears. He sat down on the bench, his fingers fumbling clumsily with the buttons on his shirt, one of them popping off and hitting the locker with a ping.
He suddenly became aware of Roy standing over him. "Give me some space, Roy," he gasped, voice strained. He splayed his trembling hands on his knees and closed his eyes. He focused on taking slow, even breaths from his abdomen. Inhale, ichi, ni, san, shi, go, roku… Exhale, ichi, ni, san, shi, go, roku…
He felt the warmth from Roy's body as his partner once again moved closer, and heard his voice say, "Someone's coming, Johnny." He exhaled a shaky breath and opened his eyes, scrubbing a hand over his face. He leaned into his locker, pretending to be busy rummaging with the contents as his partner stood guard over him, seeming to shield him from whoever was coming into the locker room.
"Hi, guys! What are you still doing here? Thought you'd be long gone by now," one of the firefighters from B-shift greeted, as he went to retrieve something from his locker.
"We just had some more stuff to do," replied Roy, noncommittally.
The man soon had what he sought and left the two alone again. Much more composed than he was just a moment ago, Johnny pulled his head back out of the locker and said calmly. "Roy? The detectives and the fire investigators are going to be here in a few minutes. I know who's behind the false alarms, and I'm going to be telling them. You remember me talking about a guy named Toby Barnes over at 127s?"
"Yeah. I remember. He was drummed out last December. How do you know he's the one?"
"He told me. He's the one who beat me up last April. He told me, then."
Roy stared aghast at his partner. "Toby Barnes did this? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know. He scares the hell out of me. Listen, would you, uh, would you mind coming along to Cap's office?"
"Of course I will, partner. Of course I will."
The detective's expression displayed a lack of sympathy with the paramedic's reasons for not coming forward with any information sooner. "Let me get this straight. You will testify regarding what Barnes said about the false alarms and the Dumpster fires. But you don't want to press charges of assault."
"Right."
"That's going to make your credibility questionable."
"Maybe Gage should stand down for a few shifts. Take an administrative assignment, at least until the arrest is made." The suggestion came from one of the arson investigators.
"No! Please let me keep working here!" His eyes silently appealed to Cap for help.
Cap thought a minute, then said, "I think Gage should keep working. If you stand him down, you would have to stand us all down. We don't know for certain whether he is the only target, or if we all are. The incidents seem to have been aimed at the whole crew, even though Barnes did assault him."
"I agree," said Detective Chantiny. "One, because we don't want to spook him before the arrest. And two, if it really is Gage he's after instead of the whole crew, I don't think you want to make your administrative headquarters a target. We can monitor Station 51's calls, and verify the addresses before you roll. We can also assign a plain clothes detective to watch Gage when he's off-duty, if necessary."
The meeting concluded after a few more minutes and everyone filed out of Cap's office.
As they walked out to their cars, Roy asked Johnny, "Do you want to come over? I could use some help scraping paint."
"How could it be time to scrape paint again? We just did that."
"That was the house. This is the garage."
Johnny stopped and gazed into the distance at the mountains, considering Roy's offer. "Yeah, I'll come over."
Barnes stopped short when he saw two squad cars pull up in front of the apartment building. He melted into a doorway across the street, watching, his body tense with anticipation. He soon saw the officers come back out of the building, empty-handed. His breath quickened, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Damn. He didn't think the little prick had it in him. A red haze began to rise before his eyes. He shoved it down and forced himself to remain still until after the police cars had driven off. Jaws clenched, eyes glittering with rage, he stalked down the street, heedless of whom he might bump as he walked. Oncoming pedestrians quickly moved aside when they saw him coming. Those he knocked into hurriedly apologized before backing away.
No one fucked with him like this. No one. He was going to really hurt him this time. Bad.