/TORI/
"So you're just not going to talk anymore, is that it? Because of what some dumb ganks said about us?"
I stay motionless on the bed, watching Jade pace up and down the floor of her room. She had eventually found me at the mall food court, taking my wrist and forcibly dragging me away from the plate of my congealed looking cheese fries to shove me into the passenger side of the car.
I refused to talk all the way home.
What could I say to her? I felt...dirty. Okay, maybe not 'dirty' but those girls acidic reactions brought it all back, the teasing and the bullying from Sherwood. Regarding me and Jade as disgusting because we were two females and it wasn't considered "natural".
It was like a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown on me, finally stripping away the sunshine to reveal the ugly truth.
We had been ridiculed out loud and no one had defended us. No one would defend us. How could I explain myself to Jade? That the very thought of that public humiliation made me nauseous. That I was worried about being shouted at and degraded or denied just for holding her hand out in the open? Of course it wasn't going to make me stop what I was doing, but it was hard trying to hold your head up high when people we're pushing down on your shoulders...
"Tori, for God's sake." I flinch at her words, her voice softening. "You can't let them get to you."
I never thought I was doing anything wrong, it hadn't occurred to me these feelings were considered 'disgusting' I knew I had always preferred females, even though I might have been interested in Danny, Ryder and Steven. But it was a forced interest and as much as I tried I didn't - couldn't truly feel anything towards them. I'd never even said anything about it because I didn't feel like I had to. I guess I had been lying so successfully to myself I had started to believe it.
I'd gotten so good at blocking out painful memories from the past that I could convince myself it was okay to be who I was.
"Hey, hey. Forget about them. You're with me now." Jade cups my cheek with her hand, bringing me back to face her, holding me still with those piercing eyes. Ocean eyes that stretched for miles and miles, covering unexplored waters. Her hand slips around my neck and I'm being pulled forwards.
"God...I shouldn't have run away. I'm sorry." Jade doesn't answer, just barely brushing her lips back against mine. She's waiting for me to make the move. A part of me wanted to keep talking, to explain and Jade could see that, yet she didn't try and shut me up with a kiss. She was validating my feelings and my concerns, or at least giving me an opportunity to voice them.
But I didn't want to talk about it anymore.
I cross the short distance with a moan of pleasure, that delicious rush of electricity pulsing through me, lips eagerly moving back against hers in a dance we had pretty much mastered the choreography to. I let my feelings ebb away like the tide, my fingertips digging softly into her pale flesh to keep her close, wanting to memorize and capture every single moment we spent together.
"Will you tell me why you took off?" Jade murmurs against my neck but I cup her chin, pulling our lips back to meet. Silence and kisses would answer that question. It wasn't even an answer but it was satisfactory for now. I just couldn't bring myself to go into it.
"No, because I'm with you now." I whisper against those lips with a little smile and she pushes me down, straddling my hips while we laid in her bed. My hands tug insistently at her shirt but she leans down instead, pecking my lips with a smirk.
"I need some water. Be right back."
"Oh you're such a tease!" I half growl and whine after her, sitting up on the bed once she was gone. I smooth my hands over the covers, running the black material under my hand, a smile on my lips as I imagined sweet sleepy Jade curled up in these sheets. My hand moves to scoop up a pillow and I crush it to my face, inhaling her in deeply.
She smelled like home.
I was so caught up in what I was doing that I almost let out a shriek, lowering Jade's pillow to find a small blonde haired boy staring back at me from the doorway, those same piercing blue eyes flecked with green.
"What are you doing?" He looks suspicious.
I toss the pillow away quickly, a furious blush coloring my cheeks at being caught.
"N-nothing! I was just - hey, you must be Jade's brother! Conrad?" His body stiffens. "No, Cody! Hey Cody it's nice to finally meet you, I'm Tori." I hold out a hand, watching the small boy nervously. Was he likely to tell his sister I had been secretly sniffing her pillow? I mean, Trina was always eager to embarrass me with stories like this, but did the same rule apply for the West siblings?
"It's not nice to meet you." He responds back coldly, kicking the door closed to leave us in the room.
Oh.
"Hey why did you close the door-?"
"Let's get a few things straight here, Vega." He advances towards me, not even giving me a chance to fully process what was going on. I was actually being intimidated by a 12 year old! I clear my throat, squaring my shoulders back at him in an effort to look tough. I had a good height over him but he was a West, and as his sister had proved, highly unpredictable with a tendency towards violence. I had a pillow for a shield and I'm sure Jade would come to my rescue if I screamed loud enough...
"Cody..."
"No. We are not on friendly terms." He crosses his arms over his chest. "I have a few things I need to say to you as Jade's brother." He counts the points on his fingers. "One, you do not, under any circumstances hurt or upset my sister. Two, you stay with her - even when she's acting difficult. I've seen too many just give up because they can't or won't handle her... and three." He looks directly at me, crouching down to stare into my eyes. "I've never seen her this happy over someone before. She's obviously crazy about having you as a girlfriend, so please... don't break her heart." His voice has softened and I realize I'm clutching Jade's covers, loosening my grip slightly.
"Wait, girlfriend? She-she said that?"
"Not out loud but I've overheard her mentioning it. She talks about you in her sleep sometimes too."
"She called me her girlfriend..." I keep murmuring in a daze. Cody grins, his hard persona instantly dropping as he moves to sit with me on the bed.
"Hey Tori, it's great to meet you." He gives me a charming smile and I gasp, giving him a shove.
"You-you almost had me going there with all the tough guy talk!"
"Hey, we're a family of performers, what can I say?" He laughs and leans back. "I had to make sure you were serious with Jade. You know? Give you the brother talk. We still firmly hate each other but it doesn't mean I don't care about her, you know?"
He smiles again, his smile fiercely reminded me of Jade's.
"I'm gonna give you a hammer to the skull if you don't get the hell out of my room in 5 seconds."
"Ah. There's my sweet, loving sister." Cody responds smoothly, not even turning around. He was obviously used to Jade's threats.
"5...4...3..." I switch my glances from Jade to Cody, the similar West resemblance striking. They both had the same sharp cheekbones, the same stubborn jut to the chin which they were both using now. I hear Jade start to tap her foot impatiently and I had to admire Cody for his bravery. He was staying until the last second, just to prove a point.
"I swear to God, Cody. If I get to 0." Jade's voice snarls in warning and Cody finally moves, throwing me a wink over his shoulder.
"I'm sure I'll be seeing more of you around, Tori. Since my sister is so completely taken with you."
"You're going to suffer for that later." Jade hisses before slamming the door in his face. She rounds on me and I can hardly keep the grin off of my lips, ducking my head down to focus all of my attention on a loose thread on the sheets.
A shift on the mattress and Jade's eyes are boring into mine, her fingers tilting my chin upwards.
"What did he say to you? I want all the details. Now."
"He said you call me your girlfriend and you're crazy about me."
Jade curls her fists.
"I'm gonna kill him."
I shake my head and pull her back against me, always taking advantage of any moment where we could be wrapped up in one another.
"Cmon, Jade. He was only teasing. " I feel her stiffen, my thumb gently rolling along her palm. "I think it's really sweet knowing how much you care about me."
"It's not sweet. It's sickening." She's scowling, but I could see a ghost of a smile touch those lips.
I squeeze her hand. "I do kinda wished you'd waited to come back though. I wanted to confirm some things for him."
"Oh, like what?"
I draw back, absentmindedly tracing the pattern on the blanket.
"He said not to hurt you or upset you." I can feel her eyes locked on me while I talked. "He told me not to break your heart and I didn't get the chance to tell him I wouldn't..."
Jade's lips are set in a tight line.
"Kay, well I'm going for a shower."
And there it was, the shut down mode had been activated. I'd said too much and she'd retreated. Though I noticed her tone wasn't as abrupt as usual? Or maybe that was me being optimistic. The atmosphere shifts and I could feel the question lingering in the air between us.
We hadn't known each other long enough.
It was too soon.
But I still couldn't stop the question trying to spill from my lips.
"Can I-" I stop myself short, noting the flashing green eyes; the silent desire to be alone for the moment. "Can I, uh turn on your TV? Maybe catch up on Celebrities Underwater?"
"Sure. Remote's on the table." I wait until she's out of sight, listening to the bathroom door close with a click.
Are you out of your mind, Vega? Asking Jade West if you could join her in the shower! You haven't even seen each other fully naked yet! What made you think it was okay to just jump in the shower with her!?
I groan and crush the pillow back to my face, hoping to stay hidden in the darkness forever.
That's when I hear her crying.
"Jade?" I'm up in an instant, rushing over to the bathroom door. I try the handle, twisting it to find it unlocked. "Jade? Are you okay?" I wait for the steam to clear, my eyes falling on a huddled figure on the shower floor. She was concealed by the shower curtain but I saw the curled up shadow, watched the curtain trembling with her sobs. "Baby..."
"Tori..." She chokes back a whimper and I look around, snatching a towel from the rail.
"I'm here, Jade. I'm here." I hold the towel out in front of me so I can't see anything, carefully wrapping her up and swaddling her like an infant. Her nails rip into my skin but I let her cling on, her wet hair soaking through my shirt.
"Tori - Tori. Beck - t-those men!"
"Ssh, Jade. Jade it's okay." I guide us out of the bathroom, pulling her down to the floor so I could keep both of my arms secured around her.
"They touched me...they were gonna - they said -" My heart seizes up, the desire to shield her burning my veins.
"But they didn't. I was there, I protected you."
"I was so weak! I didn't defend myself!" She snarls and tries to wrestle out of my grip, but I hold her firm. "I did nothing! I stood there and let them grope me!"
"Jade? Jade! Jade, look at me!" I grab her chin to force her eyes to mine, staring intensely at the raging irises. "You did everything you could. You weren't yourself and there were too many of them. You're safe, they didn't hurt you. You're here at home...in my arms."
"S-safe." Jade repeats the word with a quiver, burying her face back into my chest. I could tell it took too much effort to say anything else.
"Safe." I reassure, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead. "I've got you. I've always got you, okay?"
She doesn't answer, but I didn't need her to speak anymore. I had been waiting for this moment, anticipating the day when the barriers would burst and everything would rush out all at once. Jade needed to break and I was relieved I could be beside her when it happened. She'd been trying to patch up the wound for too long.
Now she'd run out of band-aids.
"I've got you, Jade. I've got you..."
A/N: Happy 1st of February! I got you all some Jori!angst. Seems Jade's memories have finally caught up to her and Tori is willingly picking up the pieces. We've only started to dip into the real problems... just wait. R&R? This fic is only 8 away from 200 reviews. Amazing!