I, ASSASSIN
Chapter Twenty-Five
Trying to get through the woodlands during the day time had been cake compared to trying to get through the woodlands at night. While they had the freedom to make noise, be far less light-footed and move far faster than in the daytime, there was the pesky mud in some areas that occasionally would try to suck the boots right off their feet, and there was still the obstructions, thickets and tangles of branches to force their way through. A tree had been hit by lightning and it had taken down some other trees with it. It was hard climbing over trees wearing gumboots and a heavy coat whilst holstering a massive flashlight and a backpack and it was more difficult to find any traces of his tracks or movements from earlier in the day with the rain washing them away.
Remy wondered if Marius would consider this experience for his conditioning. Overcoming obstacles no matter the weather, no matter the encumbrance. For two hours they walked, barely saying anything to each other than to discuss direction or solutions to getting across areas.
For a time, the rain had seemed to be letting up a little, but after half an hour of the let up, the rain started to pelt down far heavier than it had before, to the point where as it came down, it actually hurt their faces.
Bella Donna finally sighed, sweeping her hand over her wet face, "Remy, we need to stop," she said loudly over the sound of the thumping rain.
"And go back?" he asked in dismay. He couldn't, not yet, not until that body had been found.
"We can't see shit, the visibility sucks out here, the rain is gettin' heavier, it's really stingin' my face."
Remy groaned, "got some way to get back to the car...?"
"We're not gonna get back to the car in this, we're too far in - we need to just stop and camp."
"Camp?" he asked.
"There's a pop up tent in the backpack. Hurry and get it up, there's a clearing through there, I can see it...it's a little uphill, the rain shouldn't pool around it too much," she shivered.
Remy would have admonished her for thinking to bring a tent; they couldn't allow time to sit and camp when they had to be back before Marius awakened, but right now, there was not much choice in the matter. Trying to get through this rain was impossible, it was coming down so hard it hurt.
Marius is gonna kill us both, he realised with an inward sigh as he squatted down in the bucketing rain and opened the backpack, pulling out the well packed tent. The pop up tent was convenient, it only needed unzipping, shaking out and pegging down. It literally took one minute to get the thing up to it's full size, and within another moment it was pegged securely enough to support them without slipping around. Remy doubted it would hold up if the weather turned incredibly windy, but for now it was better than sitting in the rain waiting to drown.
Bella Donna hurried inside, she took her boots off hastily and put a plastic bag over them and left them outside, she told Remy to do the same and she crawled inside to remove her coat, she'd brought large refuse sacks to put their coats in.
"You thought ahead real well," he admitted, he had to have her help him remove the boots they had gotten so tight due to the dampness of his jeans that had started sinking into his socks.
"I had a feelin' this was gonna happen," Bella Donna said.
"Always check the weather reports," Remy remembered the lesson about weather. "Can't always trust the weather man though."
"Either way, I didn't think the rain was gonna let up tonight. I knew if the storm got worse we might end up stranded for a bit. Grandpere used to bring a quick-pitch just in case the worse happened. Can't be too careful."
"Guess not."
"If it stops in the next hour or two, we'll head off, we might even get back before Daddy and Grandpere wake up," she sighed.
Remy pushed his dripping wet coat into the refuse sack and pushed it off into a far corner of the tent, he shivered a little watching as Bella Donna spread a thin fleece from the backpack across the small floor area of the tent.
"If you're hungry I brought some cereal bars," she said.
"Not really hungry right now," he admitted.
"Did you even eat after we got home?"
"Yeah," he lied.
Bella Donna eyed him suspiciously, he felt her reading him like a book. If the comment about not eating bothered her, she didn't say. Instead, she pressed on. "If you're thirsty, we got plenty of water," she teased, gesturing to the tent flap as Remy as zipping it up.
"Yeah...we should be good for a while, water wise," he zipped the flap up securely and settled folded legged, watching as she hung her small light camping lamp up from a small hook in the ceiling of the tent. Everything she'd thought through so perfectly, she'd put so much effort into preparing this, to help him. Why? After what he had said to her...after the way he had rejected her. Why would she even still want to help him?
"Why you doin' this?"
"I don't like sittin' in the dark, darlin'," Bella Donna responded, she tested the security of the lamp and let go of it. She took the map out of her pocket and unrolled it out, flattened it on the floor and began doing a check.
"No...I mean...this. Helpin' me."
Bella Donna raised her eyes from the map, "don't you want me to help?"
Remy stared down to his damp jeans, "It ain't that I don't want your help, chere. I appreciate it...I really do. It means a lot to me...especially that I don't got to go through this shitstorm on my own..." he admitted quietly. "It's just...I ain't all that certain I deserve it..."
"You don't deserve it?" she asked curiously.
"I mean...after what I said to you, why would you even-?"
Bella Donna interrupted, "I've said it more than once...how many times more do I need to get it through to you? I would do anythin' for you. I wasn' makin' it up. Whether it be killin' a dog...or a person. Whether it be trackin' out in the middle of the woods to help you get closure on a kill...I don't care. I'd go to the ends of the Earth and beyond for you..."
Foolish kid, he thought. So love sick and full of ideals about what romance was, even after he'd hurt her she was still determined to make him love her. The sad thing was, she was winning.
"Don't think I've ever been so cold in this part of the country before," he changed the subject as he peeled at his soaked jeans, they were clinging to his cold legs, he could see the water pooling around his closed fingers.
She seemed slightly unhappy about the immediate change of subject, but he saw the look on her face, the defeat. Now wasn't probably the best time to discuss her feelings for him, she had to see that.
"Yeah, I don't think I have either, at least not at this time of the year," she ran her hand through her hair, which she'd managed to keep quite dry thanks to her baseball cap and hood. "Usually it's so warm all the rain does is make the heat wet."
"Yeah," he agreed with a sigh. He listened to the rain pelting against the material of the tent, all he could think of was that dead person out there, soaking wet. Would the rain be enough to keep the animals and insects away from him?
Bella Donna was silent for a moment, she gazed down at the map "Remy...have you prepared yourself that we might never be able to find this body?"
"Stop callin' it that," Remy asked of her, trying not to sound too angry.
"What you want me to call it?" she asked, "a corpse? A cadaver? Dead meat?"
"How about a person," he swallowed hard, "that's a person out here somewhere...they probably had family...might have had kids...and now...he's dead. Think about his family..."
Bella Donna frowned a little, "well maybe he should have thought about his family before he went firin' off guns at you," she commented, sounding slightly annoyed, "okay, so he's dead...and he maybe didn't deserve to be dead, I don't know," she shrugged, "but he's not innocent, Remy. It ain't like he didn't know the risk. You come at someone with a gun, you know there's a chance it could backfire."
Remy stared unhappily down at the fleece blanket, he ran his bare fingers along it, feeling the soft fabric catching a little on the callouses of his fingers.
Bella Donna took his face in her hands and leaned forward to bridge the space between them, she brushed a tender kiss against his lips and moved back to stare into his eyes, "you'll think I'm cold-hearted, Remy, I know...but...how can you expect me to feel any sympathy for someone who could have taken you away from me?"
He searched her eyes, they were a strange shade of blue that reflected the pale green of the tent and the cold white of the lamp. He wanted to find comfort and solace in her face but only found a grim reminder, Bella Donna was part of the problem, a branch of that family tree that every day he was becoming more and more tangled up in.
Her index finger grazed his damaged ear and he flinched a little, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth, it was still tender.
Apologetically, she turned his head and placed a kiss upon the very tip of his ear, not quite where the wound was, but enough to leave it hot and throbbing. He wanted to feel comforted so much, but there was an elephant in the room...or rather...in the woods. How close might that body be? For all he knew it was twenty feet away, just through the trees, and here was Bella Donna, her fingers sliding down his chest and trailing down his stomach as her lips found his.
Remy kissed her back not sure if it were from gratitude, obligation or frustration for the situation. He ached for distraction but couldn't find it and couldn't feel it. When Bella Donna's hand grasped him over his soaking jeans, he felt nothing but the dampness push against his skin.
Bella Donna's lips broke from his and she looked at him questioningly.
"Sorry..." he shook his head, "I can't...not now...not with this hangin' over me...I'm not like you...I can't switch off yet...I've tried so damn hard...but it ain't happenin'..."
She stroked his damp hair from his forehead, "I think I like that about you, Remy..." she admitted softly, "that you got more feelin' in you than anyone else I know...that you can't switch off because you're so switched on to everythin' around you...even this."
"Sorry," he said again.
"It's okay..." her voice was so tender, "Lets lie down, get a few hours sleep while we wait for the rain to let up, okay?"
"Okay," he agreed; his body was racked in aches, pains and dog-tiredness although it felt wrong to allow himself the rest after what he'd done. He was convinced he didn't deserve rest, he didn't deserve rest until he knew who was out there, why it had happened...he didn't deserve rest until he had made amends.
How do you make amends for murder? Remy pondered.
They lay down together on the blanket, he curled himself round her, her hair near his face so that he could breathe in the sweet almost candy-like scent of her shampoo. He listened to the rhythmic sound of the rain and stared at the wall of the tent until finally he felt himself drifting and soon he was in a deep uneasy sleep.
He awakened with a start, a heavy boom of thunder seemed to shake him to his very soul, he felt his bones vibrate and he sat bolt up right, gasping he realised he could remember every detail of the dream he'd just had. He'd found the body of his attempted killer in the woods, he'd pulled the mask from his face and found there to be no flesh, just the maggoty half-gnawed sinew of the traitor he'd seen in the woods.
His chest hurt so much he couldn't breathe, and a high choke came out as he frustratedly tried to get air into his lungs.
Bella Donna shot up from where she'd been lying, hair jutting up at one side, eyes puffy in the dim half-light inside the tent. "Remy...what is it?!"
It took a moment for him to pull himself together to get a breath in, he pushed her back and hastily unzipped the front of the tent open, stared into the dull pissing rain in pale grey morning light and breathed in the damp air and the smell of the earth around him.
"What happened?"
"Think I fo'got t' breathe," he croaked, gasping onto his knees as he hunched there staring out.
"You okay?" she asked worriedly, she rubbed his back gently.
"Jus' need a mom'nt...catch m' breath..." he closed his eyes and tried to clear his head. God that dream...the close up image of that grisly skull, muscle pulled apart, teeth bared. He could almost smell it all over again, the stench of death clung to his memory like tar on a roof.
"It's still rainin'," Bella Donna sighed, looking over his shoulder. "Least it's not as heavy...and now we have some daylight to work with though."
"Time is it?" he asked, he put his hand out to let the rain gather in his open palm and he ran it across his tired face.
"Just after five am," she glanced at her watch, "we really need to get moving," she dug into the backpack and pulled out a couple of cereal bars, "Here...you need to eat."
"I'm not hu-" he began.
"I don't care," she interrupted, "just eat the damn bar."
Remy obliged her simply to avoid the argument, watching as she pulled on her gumboots in between taking bites of her own bar. Remy watched her for a few moments as he sat eating his own. Puffy eyed, hair a mess, a fleece shirt and combat pants, she looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her.
It occurred to him that perhaps it was the risk she was taking which made her ten times more beautiful and extraordinary. It was everything she was risking to do this for him, knowing he needed this that made her the most important person to him on Earth...as much trouble as she was, he couldn't deny right then he knew with all certainty he absolutely was in love.
The thought should have made him happy but instead it somehow depressed him further, and he pushed it aside as he pulled on his own boots. He drank half of a can of Red Bull that Bella Donna had brought in the backpack (he supposed it would have to suffice in place of coffee) and they exited the tent after getting their coats on, and they quickly packed up the tent and began the trek.
Remy was positive that there was no way they were ever going to get back to the plantation before Marius awakened now. There were going to be serious repercussions when they returned, it was inevitable. The best he would be able to do is admit exactly why they had gone, face the music and accept whatever punishments followed regardless of how severe.
They walked for at least another two hours in the pouring rain, Remy not recognising much of anything in this wet, muddy mess. And then, his heart leapt finally to see the tree that he had blasted down.
The image had been burned into his memory from the instant it had occurred; it had been replaying itself in his head for their entire journey here, like a DVD that kept skipping back to the same scene over and over; another tar-like memory glued into his brain. Remy stared at the fallen tree, "tha-that's it..." he stammered.
"You sure?"
"It's the same tree..." he nodded weakly. Now that he had found it, every limb in his aching body felt so tired and sore he felt as if he might collapse. It suddenly seemed as if he could go no further. He had to push himself with all his might to carry on, to approach and step awkwardly over the many twisted branches to get to the other side, almost slipping in his attempt, getting scratched and thwacked in the face with twigs.
He went from side to side of the tree, looking desperately to find the would-be murderer. To find his unintentional victim. There was no body.
Bella Donna stared down at the ground, "you sure this is it?" she asked, she knelt down by the tree, looking down at the ground, the rain made a loud patting on her waterproof hood.
"This is the tree..." he looked around helplessly, "this is the damn tree..."
"There isn't even any evidence of anyone bein' here, Remy," Bella Donna touched the mud around the tree, leaving a deep hand print. "Are you absolutely sure this is it?"
"It's it."
"This could have been a tree struck by lightnin' before we even got here..."
"This tree weren't struck down by lightnin', the damage ain't vertical," Remy retorted, getting slightly annoyed with her reluctance to believe he could be right about this. "I stood at this damn tree for ages lookin'...I couldn't take my eyes off of it."
"What about the body, then?" asked Bella Donna, she chewed on her lip curiously as she gazed down at the mud.
"Maybe an animal carried him off..." he tried to reason. It was impossible, a body with a broken back did not just get up and walk away by itself.
"I'd come to the same conclusion but...I'm pretty sure there ain't no animals 'round these parts – nothin' big enough to do that, anyway..." she raised her eyes to Remy, "no drag marks, no prints..." she ran her hand along the mud and raised it to examine her dirty fingers, "if animals got him, there'd be a little blood somewhere...this area is clean."
"Is there any smell?" he asked, he crouched down and sniffed at the tree and the earth around it, he could smell nothing but the damp earthy smell of the wood and the mud.
"No," she replied, "it was weirdly cold last night...even if there had been a body out here, chances are you wouldn't smell it for a couple days...there isn't even a smell of shit or anythin' hangin' around. If there'd been a body here, there'd be some kind of evidence of it...bodies start to let go of all their fluids not too long after death – you'd know if it'd been here."
Remy gazed at the tree, he could see in his mind's eye where the body had been, but it was no longer there.
"Remy...are you real sure it was this tree?"
"Yes, I'm positive, I can see exactly where I blasted the damn trunk...see, right there..." he gestured, he swept the rain from his wet face, "fuck!" he yelled. "They moved him! They fucking moved him!" he grabbed a large rock from the ground, charged it up fully and threw it some distance, watching the mud and shrubs explode; a spray of mud and water hit them both.
"Remy!"
"They fucking moved him!" he accused towards her.
"Who did?"
"Who do you think?!" he demanded, "Your fucking kin. They moved the body, they're tryin' to send me batshit crazy!"
"I think right now you're batshit crazy enough without the encouragement, sweetness," Bella Donna stood slowly, "Look, we found the tree, there's no body here...we've done all we can...we need to go."
Remy gazed up at the grey pouring sky, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" he screamed at it furiously.
"Remy..." she sighed softly.
"I killed a man, Belle. I killed a man, and I left him here to rot...and now he's gone."
"Thunder is gettin' closer. We need to go. This storm is gettin' worse."
Remy realised she was right, as much as he wanted to stand here and try to fathom out why this had happened, try to trace where whomever had been here had taken the body, there was no doubt that they simply couldn't remain here.
Bella Donna had fulfilled what she had promised, which was to help him. He couldn't ask any more of her. Right now, he had a different priority, to make sure Bella Donna got back in one piece. Hopefully before her father discovered their disappearance.