/TORI/
I don't even remember getting home until I'm outside the front door, my feet feeling as if they've been encased in blocks of cement; each movement agony. I'd gotten to say that I loved her, so why was I so empty, so numb? The answer was obvious but I still refused to say it because I knew it would cripple whatever strength I was using to get myself through the house and up to my bedroom.
"You actually have a chemistry set...and a microscope in your room. Wow." Jade picks up the little beakers, studying each one before setting them down. "Why don't you just go full on mad scientist and get an operating table in here?" I make a face at her, slurping on the straw to my apple juice carton.
"Because horror movie type things are more your forte." Jade chuckles, inclining her head in agreement.
"True. But I could still see you going mad scientist. One day you snap, dig up dead body parts and try and sew them back together to create a monster." She moves on to study my shelves next, skimming her fingers over everything, making sure she had touched every object in my room. "Is that what you wanted to be? A scientist?"
"Well, not really." I bite my lip, tapping on the top of my juice box. "If performing didn't work out - I was interested in psychology."
I can't take laying on my bed anymore, the memories assaulting me from all angles, tugging and prying at my heart strings until they were at breaking point. I rush over to the bathroom, pressing my hands down on the cool surface of the sink. It was almost soothing, the cold biting into my skin to make me feel something.
Jade tucks her knees up tighter to her chest, her arms linked around her knees to hold herself still. I wind my arm around her gently, a hand stroking over her thigh in comfort. I'd come upstairs to find Jade on the bathroom floor and I could recognize immediately it was another episode relating to the alleyway. I could tell they were getting easier each time she broke down, but that still didn't stop her from needing me every time her subconscious decided to attack.
"Ssh baby...don't say anything. Just breathe. You're safe, I'm here. I'll always be here for you."
Was - could this actually be worse than Jade being...dead? Knowing that she would be in Chicago, living a separate life without me and eventually meeting someone else? I regretted the question, shuddering at how sick it sounded.
Jade is alive...you just can't have her.
You won't be there the next time she needs you, you'll never learn anything else about her. Someone else will touch her, love her and she won't be the one waiting at the end of the aisle for you-
"Stop it!" I scream, slamming my hands over my ears. "Stop it! Stop it!" My fingers wrap around the soap dish and I throw it at the mirror, watching myself shatter into fragments, the pieces spraying over the bathroom floor.
No! No, it was too much! I can't take it! Please don't be real! It can't be real!
"Tori? Tori what the hell was that noise!?" I hear footsteps pounding up the stairs towards me, my body crumpling to lie in the pieces of glittering glass. I look up in a daze to see Trina in the doorway, her eyes going wide with shock. "Tori! Did you break our mirror? What are you doing lying in the glass? Get up!"
I don't move and she bends down to shift me, pulling my body against hers. It was wrong, all wrong. She didn't smell like Jade.
"Just...ssh, okay? Let it out." Her words seem to act like a trigger mechanism, my barriers crumbling. I cling to her shirt and cry like I was four years old again, my nose and cheeks getting wet all over from my tears, but Trina didn't care. She holds me tighter, a soothing hand running through my hair.
"I-I'm sorry Treen..." I try and speak through my hiccups, willing myself to stop crying. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry - I-I'll stop soon."
"Tori, no. You're my baby sister, you're allowed to cry." I can see her struggling with her words. "I know she meant a lot to you. It's not fair that her dad just split you guys up like that. I'd be just as upset... she was everything to you, anyone could see that."
"She didn't wake me up - she d-didn't even say goodbye!"
"Wouldn't it be easier to, I don't know, hate her? She was a gank for leaving you."
"But she was my gank!" My fist scrunches up Trina's shirt. "She was beautiful and a pain! I l-loved her s-so m-much. God, I just wish I could see her again - I would give absolutely anything to see her one last time."
"Hey babe? Turn around."
...
"...and then when Jade came back, Mommy wasn't hurting anymore."
"I want to hear it again." Lucy tugs insistently at Tori's shirt, her blue eyes brimming, those blue eyes so clearly from Jade. Tori chuckles and winds an arm around her wife, pulling her close while Jade cradles her coffee mug over a bloated belly.
"Aren't you getting bored of hearing the same story every night, Luce?" Jade turns to give Tori a light peck on the cheek.
"No way! It's got everything. Mommy running down the alley to save your life and defeating four bad guys, then running through the airport like a crazy person!"
"Wait. Defeating four bad guys?" Jade raises an eyebrow at her wife.
Tori blushes, fiddling with her wedding ring. "I might have exaggerated a little..."
"And what happened with grandpa again? Did he let you off the plane?" They both exchange a look.
"I... made grandpa realize that I had my own life to live." Jade leans close to press a kiss to Lucy's forehead. "Once he was far away in Chicago, he left us alone."
"Don't you miss him?"
"Not much, because I have you, Tori and - Oh ow. Vega...our son is kicking me again."
"Was that Alex? I wanna feel!" Lucy scrambles over to touch Jade's stomach, Tori taking her wrist gently.
"Now be very careful, Lucy. That's your baby brother in there. He still isn't ready to come out yet but he wants to say hello."
Jade gasps, holding her stomach. "Wow! This one's gonna be a kick boxer."
"Alright that's enough excitement, sweetheart. Auntie Cat and Auntie Sam are babysitting you tomorrow so you'd better get some sleep." Tori holds out a hand to help Jade up from the chair, taking the blankets to tuck them underneath Lucy's chin. "We love you very much and I -" she frowns, reaching down to pull out a pair of Jade's combat boots.
"I was keeping them under my bed until they fit..." Lucy mumbles and Tori just shakes her head, hearing Jade's laughter in the background.
"Goodnight, baby girl. We love you." Tori quietly shuts the door, knowing that Lucy couldn't sleep unless it was pitch black.
So much like her mother.
"You know, I love hearing that story." Jade takes Tori's hand to lead them to their bedroom. "It happened such a long time ago but because you tell that story every night, it keeps the memories alive."
"Oh yeah?" Tori smiles and helps Jade into bed, fluffing up the pillow before getting settled herself. "I just love how we've made ourselves a little family. I guess I never want to forget how it all happened."
"I know I won't forget, ever."
"I love you, Jade." Tori clicks off the light. "Do you wanna cuddle up?"
"Sure." Jade smirks and moves closer, making sure to press her freezing cold feet against Tori's bare back.
Tori jolts, muffling a squeal in the pillow.
"And I love you too, Tori."
A/N: Because Jade would still be a brat even when she's pregnant ;) Tori and Jade finally got their happy ending, with Lucy and baby Alex on the way! I really hope you enjoyed the story and thank you so much for reading and for all your reviews!
I still have a special page of dedications to be posted but last R&R?