Andrea introduced Johnny. "Hey, everybody! This is John Gage. He's a paramedic with the LA County Fire Department. He helped out with a rape victim the other night and he did so well that I invited him to come down and see what we do. And, maybe volunteer to work with us." She said the last part with a big, hopeful grin. Johnny shook hands with the others as Andrea identified each one. The last person introduced was a compact, wiry man in his late twenties with a shock of curly, brown hair, intensely black eyes and a warm, friendly smile. "This is Sam Davis. I'll let him do most of the orienting."

Johnny carefully examined Sam with his eyes as he shook hands with the man. "Pleased to meet you," he said with a sincere smile.

The two sat down at a desk as Sam showed Johnny the various manuals and forms they used, and explained their operating procedures. "Most telephone counseling is a one-shot deal. A lot of people don't call back. Especially the male victims. That is, if they even call in the first time. What guys go through is so foreign to them. There's just no frame of reference for the experience. I really feel for the ones who never call in, never get any help."

Johnny asked a lot of questions, to which Sam responded. Then, interrupting himself mid-sentence, he said, "I feel like I know you. Have we met?"

"We've never met, but you know me. I talked to you two or three times. I never did give you my name, though."

Sam searched Johnny's face and then gazed off to the left as he thought. "Keep talking."

"You really helped me a lot. I don't think I would have made it without you."

Sam's eyes snapped back to Johnny's face. "How long ago did we talk?"

Johnny smiled. "I think November was the last time."

Sam focused intently on the man sitting next to him. "How are you doing now?"

Johnny did not cringe from Sam's gaze, but met it calmly. "I'm doing really good. It's been a year, now. There's still some ups and downs, but it's mostly up."

Sam nodded. "It will always be like that. Rape is a life-changing experience. Andrea told us how you handled yourself with the victim. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"I think so. I hope so. Like I said, you really helped me a lot. I want to give something back. Help other people with this."

Sam nodded again. "How did it feel, working with that woman?"

"I knew how she felt."

"No. Not the victim. You. How do you feel?"

How did he feel? He had lost himself. He had to re-examine all his beliefs. Every assumption he held. He had to redefine who he was. Who was he? A man who had lived through a horrible experience, but a man nonetheless. He'd been to hell and back, descended into a suffocating blackness and ascended into the air and light. How did he feel?

"I feel like a survivor."

A/N: According to the American Medical Association, a sexual assault occurs every 45 seconds. Statistics indicate that one in three women, one in four children, and one in nine men have been or will be sexually assaulted. Some feel this last number may be as high as one in six. The FBI estimates that as many as 80% of rapes go unreported. Dr. Lonnie Bristow, president of the AMA, said of all sexual assault, "This crime is shrouded in silence, caused by unfair social myths and biases that incriminate victims rather than offenders. These myths push victims into the shadows, afraid to step forward and seek help from their physicians."

Male sexual assault, both within and without of prison, is still largely unrecognized. In 1979, California amended the legal definition of rape to include gender-neutral language that would allow men to press charges for this crime. Not all states have adopted gender-neutral language into the text of their sexual assault statutes. Even the 1997 edition of Uniform Crime Reports of the United States government, published in the spring of 1999, defines forcible rape as a crime for which only women can be victims.

Sexual assault is a vicious crime of violence, anger and control that injures both the victims and those who love them. If you, or someone you love, have been a victim of sexual assault, please seek help through your physician or a rape crisis center in your area.

A/N: I don't remember where I got the "life lessons" quotes from in ch. 34. My bad.