Episode 3x07

A/N Okay, I was wrong about the shark thing – thank heavens. Glad to see so many passionate fans out there. Just to clear things up, I will definitely watch season 4. And season 5. And 6... What I was wondering was what was going to happen in season 4 and what your opinion was. In Gilmore Girls Luke and Lorelai got together in season 4, only to be broken up later. I was just wondering if this show was going to take the same route (and really hoping they wouldn't). Thanks for letting me know what the producers said.

The whole funny thing didn't work here, but I'm sure I'll find a way to fit it in somewhere. This episode was a bit of a mess – I couldn't watch the whole thing again. But it also featured the most beautiful heart breaking moment between Chuck and Sarah to date (in my opinion). I didn't go AU on it, much, but I hope the rest of the story does it justice.

It's from Sarah's POV again. During the show Chuck often 'airs his lady feelings', so I prefer to give Sarah a voice. Yvonne does such an amazing job conveying what her character is thinking and feeling, which is really what inspired me to write these.

I don't own Chuck.

"Hey," Sarah called softly as Chuck was leaving. He turned around. "Uh...I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Chuck shrugged. "Yeah. I mean I guess I've gotten used to us being a team, you know."

"Well, we're not going anywhere yet. But Shaw is right. At some point I'm just gonna be standing in your way and...not just professionally."

"Right." Chuck hesitated a little. "Are you sure you're okay with the whole Hannah thing?"

"Oh, I shouldn't have given you a hard time. She's great and..."

"How do you think I feel about you and Shaw? I mean, you two are perfect together. It's disgusting."

Sarah gave Chuck a small smile. "Ah..."

"In...in...in...in a heart warming kind of way." He broke eye contact and sighed. "Look, all I know is the guy carried you out of Castle on his back while you were both dying." Sarah took a deep breath. "So if I have to see you with someone else, it might as well be a hero, right?"

Sarah just shrugged. "What can I say, I have a type." Chuck gave her a wistful smile. They looked at each other for a moment.

"I'll see you, Sarah," he finally broke the silence.

"Bye, Chuck," she whispered back. Her smile faltered when he turned and walked away. She let out a heart-rending sigh.

Cole Barker was right. It's hard to walk away from someone you care about. But watching the man you love walk away from you into the arms of another woman – that was worse than torture.

[Section break]

Sarah had been a CIA agent since she barely finished high school. All her life every city was a new mission, a new identity. It wasn't all that unfamiliar. Being the daughter of a con artist her life was pretty much the same. Only now she didn't have to keep looking over her shoulder for fear of getting caught. One thing didn't change. She couldn't get close to anyone or allow anybody to get close to her. But she was still a person. And even though she had to keep it hidden, she needed someone. Someone who could validate her existence. She wanted to know that she wasn't just some skin covered robot, some tool her father or the government used to get the job done. She understood that it was a futile desire at best, given the life that was chosen for her and the path she subsequently chose.

There were times she gave into that desire. Not fully, she still didn't let anyone in. But sometimes she just craved the touch of another human being. That's why she didn't resist when Bryce suggested they take their partnership to the next level. For a few months she enjoyed the brief moments of just being 'more normal'. Then Bryce died and things seemed to spiral out of control. She suppressed all her emotions again and focused on the job at hand. It wasn't easy, but she did it. She had to. She slipped a few times. She kissed Bryce when he came back from the 'dead'. She returned Cole's advances. And now she's going down this path with Shaw. The only thing is, it was different now. She craved his touch. And because she couldn't have it, she settled for second best.

Sarah remembered the first time Chuck touched her. He was behind the Nerd Herd desk, his head on his arms, mumbling something about losing his mind. She rang the bell to get his attention. Instead of looking up as she expected, he grabbed her hand, thinking it was Morgan's. When his fingers brushed gently over hers, something happened. She found something more. Something she didn't even know she was looking for. But Chuck Bartowski was her mark. And then he was her asset.

She tried to keep her distance. Yet she always found ways of touching him in the hope that he would reciprocate. He did. He was Chuck. She held of his hand as often as she could. Even allowed herself a few hugs. All under the guise of cover, of course. But she still had to rebuff every advance Chuck made. It was excruciating. Especially after the times she slipped up. It took her a couple of days to get back into agent mode after she kissed him at the docks. She was angry. She was angry at the agency and its rules, even though she rationally understood. She was angry at herself for making the situation more complicated. She was angry at the universe for playing such a cruel joke on her. She took her anger out on Chuck. She didn't even realise it until she tried to straighten his bowtie before a mission and he brushed off her touch. Much to her relieve things went back to 'normal' shortly after that.

There were times Chuck would initiate contact. Hardly ever to sell the cover, though. She cherished every one of those moments. She'd never forget the way he held her hands while they were waiting for the helicopter to take him to an underground bunker. Or the feel of his fingers brushing against her wrist when he fastened the bracelet he gave her for Christmas. The way he held her when Fulcrum tried to upload her with their intersect. But most of all, how he entwined his fingers with hers after she told him she didn't have anybody who ever cared about her enough to risk his life for hers like he did for Morgan. And he told her in so many words that she did. He cared about her. And she could feel it every time he touched her.

Sarah stared out at the moonlit ocean. How did everything go so wrong? One moment she woke up in Barstow, in his arms and she decided to let go. To let him in. To give him as much as she has always received. When his dad removed the intersect, all she could think about was the future they would have. She dreamed about wearing his ring again, this time for real. She wanted a curly haired boy with kind brown eyes. And a blonde baby girl who would have her dad wrapped around her little finger. She would never long for someone to touch her again. They were so close. The next moment Chuck uploaded the intersect again and decided to become a spy.

She didn't hate Chuck for it. She blamed herself. Three years ago she asked him if he wanted to be a hero. The night of Ellie's wedding, when she wanted to tell him that she was planning to stay, she told him that he was that guy. He was a hero. That's what she tried to tell him earlier today. It came out all wrong. Heroes weren't her type. He was. He was the only hero she ever wanted. Now, thanks to her pride and her inability to talk about her feelings, Chuck was with Hannah. And she was seeking comfort in the arms of Shaw.

[Section break]

The sun was starting to rise. Sarah hadn't moved from her spot on the beach. From their spot. That's where Chuck found her.

"Hi," he greeted softly, not wanting to startle her. He sat down beside her, staring out over the ocean.

"Hi." Sarah didn't know what else to say. She wasn't expecting him. She thought he would be with Hannah.

"I thought you weren't a morning person? Given the number of alarm clocks you've murdered." Chuck broke the silence after a while.

"I'm not. And it was only one."

"That I know of. Were you here all night?" Sarah didn't miss the concern in her voice. Chuck turned to look at her when she didn't respond. "Are you okay?"

No. "Yeah," she tried to sound upbeat.

"Care to try again?" She always had to work harder to fool him. She only managed to do so a handful of times. Chuck once told her her eyes gave her away. Which was why she couldn't look at him now.

"Talk to me, Sarah." Chuck raised his hand to push a stray curl behind her ear. Just before he touched her, he let his hand drop. Sarah's gaze followed his hand and then she met his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You," she answered softly. She shouldn't be telling him this. He found someone else. Pretty soon the team will be disbanded. She and Shaw will head up the intersect project from Washington. Chuck will go off and save the world. One mission at a time. She was proud of him and everything he'd accomplished. But the thought made her sad. Sarah smiled woefully. That was the understatement of the millennium.

"What did I do?" Chuck was a little surprised by her response.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she quickly assured him. She didn't know why she ventured down this road. It wasn't fair to him to tell him now. Then again, she hadn't been fair to him a lot over the past three years. Maybe she should just add this to her long list of regrets. The only question was if she was going to add the regret of letting the last chance to tell him pass her by or the regret of laying this on him. Chuck made the decision for her. He reached out and took her hand. Instinctively she entwined her fingers with his.

"I'm in love with you, Chuck." He didn't respond immediately, except for tightening his fingers around hers. "I know it's probably the worst time to tell you and it's complicated..." There was that word again.

"Sarah," he interrupted, "stop." Sarah felt a twist in her chest. She expected this, but it still hurt.

"I just made a monumental fool of myself, didn't I?" She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

Chuck shook his head. "No, you didn't. I think that was the bravest thing I've ever seen you do." He lifted his free hand, this time tucking the stray curl behind her ear, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Do you have any idea how long I've waited for you to say that?" Sarah felt her heart rate speed up.

"What about Hannah? She followed you all the way from Paris..." She looked down at their entwined hands. Chuck moved his hand to her chin and lifted her face to meet his gaze again.

"Sarah, you've always been the one. I love you. I'm sorry that Hannah is going to be hurt, but if I stay with her, it wouldn't be fair. She'll get hurt either way. The same goes for Shaw." Sarah knew Chuck was right. Besides, she could never be with anyone else. Not when she knew Chuck loved her too.

"I know. It was a mistake to cross that line with him."

"It's okay. We both made mistakes in the past, but it will all work out in the end." He gave her one of his famous Bartowski smiles.

"How can you be so sure? There's still Beckman and the CIA and you are going to be reassigned soon..."

"Because we make a great team. I don't think Beckman will have a problem with us being together. If she did, she wouldn't have let you stayed after the 49B or refused your request for a reassignment. Who knows, maybe we can convince her to let us take over from the Turners. I hear they're thinking of retiring."

Sarah lifted an eyebrow is surprise. "Chuck, the Turners are a married couple."

"I know." His hand moved to back of neck, playing with the loose strands of hair. She leant into his touch. She could really get used to this.

"Does that mean you want to marry me?" The words were out before she could stop them. Sarah didn't think it was possible, but his smile got even bigger.

"Yeah. Do you want to marry me?" Sarah's eyes widened a little, but she couldn't contain her smile.

"Yes." She cupped his cheek, moving closer to him. Chuck met her half way. The kiss was different from the previous ones they've shared. It was filled with the promise of what the future held. The future they both wanted which was finally theirs.

"So this is really going to happen?" Chuck asked in awe when the kiss ended.

Sarah nodded. "Mmm hmm," she smiled. She was too out of breath to respond properly. She couldn't quite believe it herself.

"In that case," Chuck said as he got up, pulling Sarah with him, "we have some shopping to do."

"Shopping?" Realisation dawned on her. "Chuck, we don't need to buy a ring today. We should talk to Shaw and Hannah first."

"We will. But the shopping can't wait. We need to pick up some earplugs." Chuck wrapped his arm securely around Sarah as they walked back to their cars.

"Earplugs?"

"For when we tell Ellie. Trust me." Sarah turned towards him.

"Do you think she's going to be happy about this? After everything that's happened..." Chuck cut her off with another kiss.

"You worry too much, honey. She's going to be ecstatic. Actually I think she has the whole wedding planned already." Chuck gave Sarah a mischievous smile.

"Why would she do that?" Sarah was a little suspicious. She always knew when he was up to something.

"It could have something to do with the fact that I asked her to safeguard your ring." Chuck looked like he was about to assume the Morgan pose.

"You got me a ring already?" He would never seize to amaze her.

"Yeah, a few months ago. What can I say? I always had faith in you."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "You had faith that I was going to propose to you?"

"I proposed to you."

"I proposed first."

Chuck just laughed as he wrapped Sarah in his arms. Hers circled his neck. "Sweetheart, is our first argument as a real couple seriously going to be about that?"

A/N Thank you for reading. Forgive my cheesiness, I'm in a weird mood today. It will be a while until my next update, around two weeks or so. I have four assignments due and a new language to learn. For those of you who have read 'covers, lies and ticking time bombs', I haven't forgotten about it. I will try to update soon.