A.N. Time for the next chapter ...YAY! This is the chapter that if you are uncomfortable with sexually explicit situations, you might want to skip. Also as this will be my first time writing a sexual experience you might want to skip it =P That being said thank you so much for your reviews xXriujooXx, they mean so much to me! Hope I do you proud.
Oh yeah Joss owns all
She was on the staircase, staring down into the most soulful blue eyes she had ever seen. She remembered this moment, remembered how smoothness of the wood felt under her finger nails, remembered Dawn's voice. She didn't notice the tears lingering in the vampires eyes, the absolute astonishment at her existence. She couldn't hear anything back then over the flickering of the lights, and the constant buzz in her ears. She watched as he instructed Dawn to get bandages and led her gently to the living room, cradling her hands in his own. She hadn't noticed then how soft his touch was, as if he was afraid she would break. She'd never seen that look in his eyes before. "Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Uh ... hundred forty-eight today." he looked at her with a slight smile, something unbelievably sweet shimmering in his eyes. "'Cept today doesn't count, does it?" She says nothing in response, still too shell shocked too do much more than breathe. The gang bursts in and the moment is gone, Spike leaves.
His mouth closes over her nipple as a sharp hiss escapes her mouth. She wants to tell him to stop, wants to push him away but her hands, her treacherous hands, are sliding underneath his shirt, clawing at the sculpted muscles beneath. "Spike,"she whimpers, as his tongues tortures the heightened peak. He makes no move to stop, instead kisses a path to her navel, humming against her skin. "Wait,"she whispers, all but choking the purr that is rising in her throat. Spike growls, his teeth gripping the button on her pants. He pulls it roughly, lips sliding over silk and moving to forbidden territory. "If you want me to stop Slayer, you're going to have to stop me." She doesn't and he shows her just how bad he can be.
Buffy feels uncomfortable watching herself and Spike, but she can't seem to look away. On her face is pleasure, raw and carnal. On his is ecstasy. As if he is dreaming and he has to make this moment last for as long as he can before he wakes up. He tries to be gentle, tries to kiss her softly, but she grabs his head and forces her tongue into his mouth, challenging him. Spike is up to the task and the lovemaking quickly turns back to fucking, fast and violent. She can almost see the smirk on her face as she is pulled into another memory.
"Come on Slayer, say it." his voice is low. "No Spike!" she cries and tries to push him off of her. He pins her body to him, one hand inching towards her jeans. "You know it's the truth." "Is not."she breathes, trying to resist the pull toward him. "Nothing to be ashamed of, just sayin' the hero worship gets you off." "Oh!" she yells, shoving him away from her. "You're sick Spike! And you don't know what your talking about." she moves towards the crypt door, letting out a quick gasp as Spike pulls her into his bare chest. "Really?" he murmurs into her ear, letting his teeth tug on the lobe. "Yuh-huh." she assures weakly. "Because you Buffy Summers, are a goddess. A vision, so beautiful and hot and," his hand slips under her jeans, toying with the elastic band of her panties. "So bloody perfect." it's like a prayer on his lips. He says it so quiet she can't even be sure he spoke as his fingers ghost over her opening. Suddenly he plunges two of them into her as she barks out a cry. Just as suddenly he pulls back his fingers, glistening with her juices. He looks at her triumphantly. "Doesn't get you off huh?" he leers at her, popping one finger into his mouth. He opens his mouth to speak, a smart ass comment ready to be dispensed. He doesn't get to, Buffy turns around and crushes his mouth to her own, attacking him with a fierceness that she didn't know she had in her until this moment. She is addicted to how out of control she can be with Spike.
There are dozens of memories she drifts through, some of them sexual, some of them just her and Spike bantering, they all make her miss him horribly. And then suddenly she is standing at the lower level of his crypt, where Spike is nervously fiddling with a lighter. "Bloody hell!" he shouts, almost dropping the candle in his grasp. She is confused as to what he is doing as she circles the room slowly. He is donned in a dark blue button up shirt, hair slicked back and he smells like cologne. The room is dimly lit with dozens of candles and a vase with roses sits in the middle of the table, some sort of food is arranged on the table, Spike is nervously straightening the roses. Trying to make sure everything is perfect...for her. She had never seen this effort and as a slightly pissed off voice called "Spike!" from above she knew why. "What is it love?" he questioned, trying to take her in his arms. "Shut up."she commanded, mouth descending on his. Moments later his shirt was throw to the floor as she straddled him there. Afterwards she wiped her mouth as she always did, pulled on her jeans and left. Spike cursed and went down to the lower level to clean up the doomed attempt to romance her. Buffy hated herself as she watched him throw out the roses, and toss the candles in a box that was shoved under his bed. "Spike, I didn't know...I didn't want to know."
"I'm gonna make you feel it." his hands were on her, tearing, demanding that she give herself up to him. She was sore, splayed on the bathroom floor, trying to fight the panic that strangled her gut. "Let yourself love me." he begged, pressing his hips into her. "Spike no!" she cried, pressing her hands into his chest. "I could feel it, when I was inside of you." he was desperate. She was crying now. "Please don't." she pleaded. He couldn't hear her, couldn't hear anything other than the rage fueled lust that was consuming him. 'Take her, take her, take her' "No! STOP!" her foot was on his chest as she gave one final frantic shove. It worked and Spike hit her bathroom wall, his eyes clearing instantly. "Ask me again why I could never love you?" she spat, repulsion clear on her face. "Buffy my God, I didn't" "Because I stopped you!" she had tears in her eyes, clutching her robe to her. "Something I should have done a long time ago." He didn't say anything to her, couldn't meet her eyes as he rushed out of the house. She sat and pulled her knees into her chest and sobbed. Buffy watched, holding in the nausea that rose within her. The things he did to her, the look on his face, the despair on hers. This was a memory she would gladly forget. And yet it was part of the monster that would always be in Spike, and the man that he had fought to become.
A.N. Ending it here, only a couple of chapters left (that I know of anyway lol) Sorry if you don't like this, but I thought Buffy was SUCH a bitch to Spike up until the attempted rape scene. It kills me that Joss made his character go there, but alas I don't own them. Or Buffy and Spike would be together and Anya would have never died. All right that's about it. Oh and I am COMPLETELY against rape, I can hardly watch that scene because it makes me so mad...but Angel did awful things to Buffy and yet everyone was more than willing to forgive him at the drop of a hat. Ok I'm getting off my soap box. Happy days everyone :)