Desperation
He's seen the future. And he doesn't like what he sees. He doesn't believe in fate, because fate took away his best friend when it should have took him. Fate's as blind as a bat, and he doesn't trust it.
That's why he aches. That's why he dodges, he weaves and he curses. Because he's going to take the script Fate gives them and tear it up with his own hands. But he's seen the future. And he's seen himself fail. Still...
When you know you're going to lose, but you keep fighting every step of the way. That's desperation.