A.N. NEXT! : P Chapter 9 coming at you. Joss owns everything
Buffy bolted up so fast that she collided with a certain red head that was hovering over her. "OW!" they cried simultaneous. "Buffy!" she gasped pulling her into a hug. "You're back." She breathed a sigh of relief into the blondes shoulder. "Yes I'm back. Was I not supposed to be?" she questioned. "And what exactly were you doing leaning almost on top of me?" Willow pulled back blushing slightly. "Well I moved you from the floor to the bed; I wasn't sure how long you were going to be out." She explained hastily. "I had just gotten you up here when you woke up." "What?" she inquired, slightly dazed from the after affects of the spell. "How long have I been gone?" Willow checked the clock on the wall. "About five minutes." Dozens of images flashed across her mind as she stood up suddenly. "Spike! He's alive!" "Yeah you noticed that too. I wasn't sure how the spell was going to work since he was alive." She whirled on Willow suddenly. "You knew?" Willow backed away from the seething Slayer. "Not until I did the spell I swear! And I tried to tell you. But by then it was too late. I promise." Buffy held a hand to her forehead as the room swayed. "I know. Sorry Will, I don't know what's wrong with me." "Your emotions are all screwy. Its fine, after affect of the spell. It should pass in a minute." Buffy shook her head in agreed, pulling her hair back from her face. "Yeah, "she paused, letting out a tense breath "Yeah. I feel really tense." "Try to breathe through it; it should pass in a minute." Willow took her by the shoulders, leaning her forehead against hers.
Buffy felt the tension draining from her body, as she took in long drawl out breath, within several minutes she was breathing normal again. Willow pulled back. "Did it work?" she asked. Buffy wasn't sure how to answer that. "Um…yeah I walked his memories." "Yay me!" she looked positively delighted until Buffy narrowed her eyes at her. "Sorry. You were saying?" She moved past Willow, letting her hair fall back down to her shoulders. "I need to see him." "Buffy, are you sure?" "More than ever." She said softly. "She grabbed a coat from her closet, sliding it on quickly. "Buffy," "What Will?" "Just a thought, but if you are wanting your decisions to be accepted by the rest of us… You should tell the others before you go." Buffy stared at her for a minute. "Cause me I'm all for it, I'm like Go Buffy! Find the man you love! But Xander, Giles, even Dawn…you should tell them." She finished. Buffy nodded in agreement. "I'll call them on the way." She moved over to hug Willow tightly. "Thank Willow. I'll call you when I get there." Willow smiled into her hair. "Anytime Buff."
"Hello?" "Giles! Hi! it's Buffy." "Hello Buffy. Is everything alright?" "Yeah, can't I just call to say hi?" there was a pointed silence on the other end of the phone. "Right…so…how have you been?" she tried her hand at small talk and failed miserably. "Buffy, what is it?" She clenched her hands on the steering wheel, trying hard to get the words out. "You know that thing we never talk about?" "There are a numerous number of things we never talk about; to be sure to what you are referring I would need you to elaborate." 'He just couldn't make this easy…could he?' She thought before stating "Spike." "Oh. That thing." "Well the thing is he's alive and I just did a memory walk thing with him and I'm going to LA to tell him I love him…" she took a breath. "Thought you would like to know." There was a heavy silence during which Buffy swore she could hear Giles take off his glasses and worry the surface with his shirt. "Buffy…are you certain this is what you want?" "Yes." He clicked his tongue against his teeth. "I don't approve, I think you know that already." "I know." "Think about all the things you will be missing if you decide to pursue a relationship with him, children, growing old together, any chance at normalcy." Buffy remembered the safe haven on his arms, the way their eyes had connected in his final moments at the hellmouth, the heat that had nothing to do with the flame that consumed their hands. Her voice was choked up as she answered him. "Think what I will be missing if I'm not with him."
Giles knew as soon as she spoke that sentence that the battle was lost. "Buffy, just please…be careful." "So…are we okay?" "While I don't agree with your decisions, you are an adult, and I appreciate you being honest with me." "Giles…you have always been like a father to me and I love you." "B,buffy." Giles stuttered suddenly. "Sorry Giles, it' this new emotional thing I'm trying out." He chuckled warmly. "I love you too Buffy. " "So, if we're done, can I talk to Dawn?" "I'm sorry she's out right now. But she has that infernal cell contraption with her." Buffy laughed. "Join us in this century Giles." "Yes very funny. Now would you like the number or not?" Buffy jotted down the information and said a hasty goodbye. "Two down." She smiled to herself, dialing her sister.
"Sup?" the teenager answered cheerily. "Dawn?" Silence for a moment. "Now I know this can't be my sister Buffy cause she hasn't bothered to answer my phone calls for a least a month." Buffy flinched with guilt. "I know. I'm sorry." "I could have been dead, or maimed, possibly become a stripper." "WHAT? Is there something you need to tell me?" "Just saying you haven't been around, lots of things change." Buffy could hear the hurt in her voice. "I'm really sorry Dawn. I've just been…" "Busy? Mourning? Adjusting? Well I have too, and newsflash! Giles isn't exactly the best person to talk to about boys, or emotions or anything other than books really." She had to stifle a laugh as she realized just how much Dawn sounded like her. "He does try though, he's just so…" "British." They said in unison, both breaking off in a soft chortle. "Dawn, I have to tell you something." "What is it? Is it bad?" "I don't think so." "Well just tell me already." "Spike's alive." She could hear the sound of the phone being dropped as she waited for a response. Finally after several moments Dawn whispered. "Alive?" "Yes." "How is that even possible?" "I don't know, I'm on my way to LA to find out." "He's in LA?" she asked incredulous. "With Angel?" Buffy make a soft noise in agreement. "Buffy, are you sure? Spike hates Angel." "I know…I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own two eyes." "What? What aren't you telling me?" "Lots Dawnie, and I want to talk about it, I want us to reconnect, but right now I have to do this…I hope you understand." Dawn sighed. "Okay Buffy, call me when you're done with this…and can you tell him something for me?" "Of course." "The last thing I told him before he died was good luck…can you tell him I forgive him?" Dawn's voice was shaky. "OH! And punch him for not telling us he was alive, the big jerk." Buffy smiled into the phone, cracking her knuckles as she replied. "Oh don't worry Dawn that is the first thing on my list."
"Xander here." "Um..hi." "Buff?" "Yeah it's me. You almost sounded like a grownup…it's kinda weird." "Yeah well that's what happens when you are a commander of a bunch of Slayers." "You grow up?" "No, you get better at sounding like one so no one calls your bluff." She laughed into the phone. "It's good to hear from you." "I would have called sooner but I have been out of commission." "Yeah. Faith would call us with updates every couple of weeks." "It should have me been calling you." "Well I have a lot more to talk about with you, with Faith there's all that weird sexual tension…" he teased before suddenly getting serious. "So what is it Buffy? Should we be worried?" "Depends." "On what?" "On how you feel about Spike?" "Spike? "he paused. "I don't know why we are talking about him, but disgust about covers what I feel for him." "Oh." Buffy said deflated. "But…since I am trying to grow as a person I have to admit grudging respect for what he did for you, you have to have some pair to sacrifice yourself." His voice caught in his throat and she knew he was thinking about Anya. "And also as much as I have to fight back the vomit to say this…he loved you. I hate that he loved you but he did." "He's alive." She said quickly before she had the nerve to back down. "Oh…well then I take it all back. But Buffy, if you're calling for my approval, you aren't going to get it." "Oh." "Because you don't need it. " "Huh?" "You're a big girl Buffy. And if you love him, you love him. I don't get it, but I don't have to get it. It's time to grow up. Me most of all." "Again I say huh?" "I've been a royal ass. You deserve to be happy just like anyone else, and if Spike makes you happy…I don't get it, and please for the love of God don't explain it, but I love you and I support you." Buffy was crying on the other end of the phone as she answered. "You really have grown as a person." "Yeah, but don't tell anyone. They will give me more to do." "I love you Xander. Thank you so much." "Anytime. Try to call me more often than once every couple of months." "I promise." And she meant it.
After she hung up with Xander , rain began to pour down from heavens. She had nothing else to distract her except for the monotonous swish of the windshield wipers against her windows. Every swing of the wipers brought forth a memory. "I'm drowning in you Summers, I'm drowning in you." Swish "Every night I save you." Swish "I will never be your girl!" Swish "I'm sorry William." Swish "I believe in you Spike." Swish "I love what you are, what you do." Swish "It was the best night of my life." Suddenly the silence in the car was far too loud as she blasted the radio and attempted to concentrate on something other than Spike. She took a chug from her coffee cup. "It's going to be a loooong drive." She concluded, clicking on the cruise control.
Sorry it was so long, just needed to get that out of the way…next chapter BUFFY and SPIKE are FINAL-FUCKING-LY reunited! YAY!