A/N…So here we are again….Thanks to all my readers…This story is for you...Thanks for your comments…I enjoy reading them….and gladly reply to all of you.. This is my first fan fiction …Thanks to my dear friend and so efficient coach Susie (xlavendermoonx) to take time for me…pre-reading…correcting and reorganizing my deficient structures…Thanks to Julianne( lionandlamb01)my personal advisor and my friend too…She practically guided me step by step to put my story on the site.. I am so dumb with all this technology.. Thanks to my twitter and youtube precious gals….Especially Biel, Lucia, Maite, Mouse, Rosa, Soul and Tiss….thanks for your support and your friendship.. I love you all….You rock girls…

Btw these characters don't belong to me… They belong to S.M but Badassward is mine…all mine..

Being famous is one thing

Being loved is another thing

Some may be famous

Some may be loved

And some may be famous and loved

France

MY ALL

LIKE I CARE Chap 4

EPOV

Fuck…I have a fucking migraine again. I feel like my brain is coming out of my skull, and that something is trying to push my eyes outside of their orbits. I have that damn annoying buzzing in my ears. Holy Shit…not just a buzzing. It is more like a whole orchestra is playing in my head, but it is not in synch. Instead it's a freaking cacophony, so noisy and so highly-fucking-irritating.

As soon as I open my eyes a flash of light hits me, making me almost blind.

Yeah, this migraine is hitting full force… A Fucking Apocalypse…I shut my eyes tightly and remain in my bed trying to exorcise the beast that has decided to invade my head this morning.

Learn a lesson Cullen. Mixing alcohol and weed is not a good thing. Maybe this will teach you not to mix those two anymore…you are such an imbecile sometimes.

It's not like it's the first time.

Oh, okay now. Shut the fuck up…the orchestra and my own voice… in my head…. I can't bear them anymore.

I drag myself out of the bed. My body at least, although my brain is still having a very hard time sending clear directions to my legs.

Jesus Christ Cullen, you are not a child, put one leg in front of the other and move. And you have some things to do today…and you have a flight to take tonight.

I go directly to the kitchen to make coffee.

Fuck! All the cups are in the sink, still unwashed.

Damn asshole.

Why don't you take some time to clean your dishes once in a while? Do you want to live in a dump?

This place is absolutely disgusting.

All your clothes are discarded on the floor; there are Pepsi and beer cans everywhere. Not to mention: CD's, books, magazines, newspapers, empty bags of chips, pizza's boxes, etc…

Why do you think someone invented trash cans?

Clean your apartment man…it is starting to smell like shit in here.

Okay…time for the motherfucker in my head to stop talking.

I know that I'll have to clean my fucking place because I am leaving much later tonight for one month. I don't want to have new uninvited roommates, like cockroaches, moving in while I am gone.

So I'll have to do it.

But right now…no…I don't really give a damn about this mess.

Man, your apartment is like your life right now…real chaos.

Yes, my life is a damn fucking real mess right now.

Some things are okay.

My job is great. I love it. Acting is my passion.

In fact, I have two passions: acting and singing.

I love them both equally. For now, since my acting career is going so well, concentrating on it is the best thing to do at this point in time.

A few years ago it was not exactly the like this.

I had a few minor roles in some low-budget movies, did some part-time modeling, played some of my songs in a few tiny bars, and just tried to survive.

Luckily for me, one day while I was doing a photo shoot for a magazine the photographer, who practically asked me to fuck him right after the session…and I said no because I am only into women, introduced me to one of his friends. He was a movie producer named Eric York.

Then everything happened so fast, just within a few months.

I went from being just me, a nobody, to becoming THE BODY.

That movie producer had known an author who had written several books, in which the main character was a very proficient and good looking, sexy detective who was like some sort of a psychic and was able to solve all the crimes he was assigned to…welcome back Columbo…These books were already very successful.

He assured me the movies would propel me to the top.

And that's exactly what they did.

From the first movie to the last one, I played Harry Clearwater, the most famous, gorgeous-as-hell, perceptive detective of all time.

A week ago, we finished filming the last movie of the saga.

And tomorrow I was going to be visiting my parents, Carlisle and Esme, back in my home town of Sewickley, a very beautiful small town about 10 miles from the downtown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Sewickley is home to me. I love the magnificent old estates, friendly people, and relaxing atmosphere.

I needed this holiday.

My life was going fucking crazy and I was in need of some time away from the frenzy.

I needed time away from my life as an actor. I needed time away from my own out-of- control and messy life.

I also needed some time to digest the end of the Irina love affair.

Irina….beautiful…25 years old, 5 feet 8 inches tall, long blond hair, green eyes, strikingly-stunning, and probably soon-to-be international model.

Now: my ex-girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend as of yesterday morning.

Was I in love with her?

No, not at all.

No fucking butterflies, no palpitations, no heartfelt passion.

Nothing compared to the love my father feels for my mother.

That must be true love, the type that illuminates you from the inside out.

Fuck…Cullen you are talking like some kind of fucking Romeo.

But, the love my parents have for each other is true love…and I was very far from it.

I was very proud, in a way, to be, or I guess now to have been, her boyfriend.

We were the couple…dazzlingly beautiful together.

Irina was my trophy, my own little jewel.

We had a great time and some very hot sex.

She was there for me when I needed her and that was all I had wanted.

I guess I was using her…and she in turn used me.

I've always been that type of guy, though not with my family.

No, I was a loving son and brother.

But with girls…I always had it easy, and it is still the same today.

No fucking challenge ever.

FUCK…I did a lot and with a lot of girls. All those chicks did whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted it.

In high school, I was the hot guy…The guy to go out with…the guy to sleep with.

Not that this bothered me. If I wanted sex…I had it. If I wanted a blow-job…I had it.

Just a few nice words, a wink, and a smile. Then I got whatever I wanted.

No girls ever broke up with me. I always left them.

Nope, nobody ever ended the relationship.

I was the one to leave…except for Irina…she left me.

She left me and I was furious. How dare break up with me?

I was fucking famous hot Edward Cullen.

She dared to leave the hottest, sexiest guy on the planet?

That little bitch had cheated on me.

I could have almost any girl on this fucking planet. I was the one who cheated. Nobody ever cheated on me.

I wanted her…I chose her…and she left me… it was, and still is, a real blow to my fucking pride.

All this shit happened just yesterday, the breaking-up part.

I was kind of suspicious for awhile. She was not as available as she used to be. And yesterday morning, she confessed everything.

That stupid bitch was not only a model; she also was a professional escort!

Although with very few clients, she had added. But, she had fallen in love with one of her clients…and she confessed it all.

"And Edward, I know that was not honest for me to lie to you and fabricate stories when I was with clients and not with you.

I only did that stuff to help my career…and for the extra money. Until I met Alex and fell in love with him."

"Irina…you slept with those guys to help your career?" I had screamed. "You're a real slut."

"I am so sorry Edward…please forgive me…I don't want to end this relationship like this. I want you to still be my friend."

"Your friend? Fuck you Irina and get out of my sight right now! You make me sick. I don't ever want to hear from you…I don't ever want to see you…you are just a fucking whore."

I grabbed her firmly by the arm and threw her out of my apartment.

Yes, yesterday had been a very bad day. From the moment it ended with Irina until the moment I went to sleep. The only positives had been a phone call from my manager and seeing Marcus. Everything else had been a disaster.

After Irina left I took time to take a shower.

I was so frustrated and angry, I thought the water could calm me a bit. It did nothing at all.

So I had a beer, a smoke, and sat on the couch and began to strum my guitar with some soft rock music. I began singing the melody from John's Mayer's 'Crossroads'.

I went down to the crossroads

Fell down on my knees

I went down to the crossroads

Fell down on my knees

I said no for mercies

Help me if you need

I went down to the crossroads

Try to flagger out

I went down to the crossroads

Try to flagger out

No one seems to know me

Everybody pass me by….

I went on playing and singing Van Morrison, Johnny Lang, Cat Stevens, and some others as well.

Music always has the same effect on me…It soothes my nerves…it calms me.

I played for about one hour and then my cell rang…It was Charlotte, my manager.

"Hello Edward. How are you sexy?" Charlotte said with her usual musical voice.

"Not so great," I answered. "And don't call me 'sexy' please." I added in a grouchy tone.

"Uh-oh. Cullen, you are in your grumpy mood today."

"Yes Charlotte…it hasn't been a very nice day up to now. So why are you calling?"

"I have very good news for you, darling. I just received a script for a movie that will be filmed in Montreal, Canada in 8 months. It is a movie about a young French-Canadian reporter who helps a prisoner who has been falsely-accused of a murder. I read it…and it is so good…I think it will be great. All the actors will be speaking in French though."

"Wait…wait…wait…wait…wait…what did you say? In French??? I don't speak French at all." I said all at once, without a breath.

"Edward, don't worry about that. If you are interested, Alliance Films will pay for you to learn French in a six-month intensive class," Charlotte added.

"Well that will be a challenge, but I've wanted to learn French since I was a teenager…and if you say the script is good…I am very interested. Can you get me the script before I leave?"

"Yes Edward, don't worry. I don't have the time to bring it to you myself, but you will receive it by special delivery. Bye darling…talk to you soon."

"Okay Charlotte. Bye." I said as I hung up.

I was starting to feel a little better. I was still very furious about my ex-girlfriend…model…escort…and fucking slut. But I was now in good-enough shape to begin to clean my apartment since I would be leaving later tomorrow. So I began with the bathroom then made my way to the bedroom. My bedroom was so messy and dirty that it took about an hour just to make it a nice place to sleep in once more. I'd have to get to the kitchen and living room tomorrow before I left.

Then it was time for me to get dressed and to go see one of my best friends, Marcus. He was the new owner of a very nice Italian restaurant on 5th avenue called La Santa Fé. I had promised him I would go see his place before leaving for Pittsburgh. And a promise to a friend is a promise. I may sometimes be an asshole but I keep my word.

While I was preparing to go out, someone knocked at the door. I opened it and it was a delivery guy who brought me the script. I signed his form and closed the door.

I put on a pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt and my black jacket, and then I threw on some black socks and my black and white Nike running shoes.

My hair….nothing to do with it…as usual…leave it like it always is…in complete disarray…and all the girls are crazy about my hair…like I care...I don't give a damn about my fucking messy hair.

I put on my favourite cologne from Abercrombie & Fitch.

Then it was about time to go. I grabbed my pack of smokes, my cell, my wallet and my keys, and made my way to the parking lot to my green Porsche. I just bought that car one month ago and I love driving it.

My car is very important to me…I think it is my real love.

And this one won't cheat on me…Damn you fucking Irina…You are such a bitch. The motherfucker's voice was still very present in my head.

The traffic was the usual. Bad.

I am not a very patient driver so there were a lot of expletives coming out of my mouth… fuck…bastard…asshole…bitch…and some more that I don't remember.

I swore a lot all the way as I drove to the restaurant. Finally, I arrived, parked my car and went in.

Marcus was behind the bar, arranging the bottles on the shelves.

As soon as he saw me he greeted me, giving me a kiss on each cheek…I don't mind… the guy is Italian…the first time I was surprised but that is the way he greets his friends…so if it pleases him to kiss me on the cheeks…then what the hell.

He handed me a beer and we began to talk.

"So Edward, how are you buddy?"

"Not so great Marcus."

"You look a bit tired Eddie…Need to talk?"

"Well, I am and it is a bit complicated," I said.

"I'm sure I can keep up man…I am listening to you."

So I began talking about my life in general…how I was feeling and dealing with my recent fame…and my break-up with Irina…my anger…my frustration…everything.

We talked for about an hour and a half…without almost any interruption.

The only time I stopped talking was to drink my beer….more than one in fact….I drank a lot then smoked some weed.

I don't smoke a lot, but sometimes it soothes my nerves.

Marcus didn't mind since the restaurant was completely empty. In fact, it was just the two of us.

I was tired of boring Marcus with my troubles, so I changed the subject.

"Okay Marcus, let's forget about my problems. You have a really nice place here. I love it."

"Thanks Eddie. I am pretty happy about it. Business is going well.

The place is full every night."

"So who's coming here tonight…ordinary people?"

"No….no….The place is all booked up for a real jet-set private party…people in the fashion industry. So I guess there will designers, models, photographers, and as usual…professional escorts." Marcus winked.

"Hey! Jesus Christ, don't mention anything about models or escorts. Then again, maybe I can hook up with one of these escort-types. Fuck her until she doesn't remember her own name," I added with a frustrated voice.

" Hey-hey Edward, behave yourself man. You can have any girl you want…so don't cause a scene here tonight," Marcus added in a concerned voice. He knew I was drunk, high, and hurting. Not a good combination.

I just nodded and he offered me another drink.

Well why not?

I knew Marcus would call me a cab if I needed one.

I was already so buzzed…but not drunk enough to dull the pain…so I asked him for a Hawaiian Hooker…Ha-ha… My ex girlfriend was an American hooker…I made the connection just after I asked for the drink, Stupid Cullen; see how your subconscious mind is working. At least you will be the only one to taste this one.

Enough motherfucker! Stop talking to me…one bitch is enough for today.

I asked Marcus if I could play a song tonight, because as I said, playing and singing always soothes my nerves…and I love performing in front of an audience.

He was pretty happy about my proposition and accepted it with obvious pleasure.

People were beginning to fill the restaurant now.

I saw many different people…some were casually-dressed…some were wearing their own creations. There were many beautiful, sexy women and a lot of very nicely-dressed men in tailored suits and tuxedos.

Suddenly my attention was sparked by a magnificent creature. Petite, long brown hair, pale skin…wearing a very sexy long red dress…I could not see the color of her eyes. The restaurant was illuminated with soft dim lamps and a few candelabras, but as far as I could see she seemed to be a beautiful woman. She was with a very tall guy…huge actually…and quite handsome himself.

I knew she noticed me. Our eyes met and she almost fell on the floor, tripping on her dress.

I smiled to myself…The Cullen-effect was still working.

Maybe she'd be the one in my bed tonight.

But she did have a date, or whatever that guy was to her. Like I cared.

I exchanged a few glances with her throughout the evening. I could see her blushing.

I know the effect I have on woman…This one was similar to all the other girls I was familiar with…No surprise here…And then I decided to give it my all.

I smiled to her…my crooked, sexy smile…the one for-sure hit…and she reacted all right…she almost fell off her chair.

I moved back to talk with Marcus, ignoring her for a while, and asked for another refill…and two shots of Jack Daniels.

It was always the same with girls…They were easy prey…too easy.

No challenge ever…Maybe some day I would meet someone different…someone strong and independent. Someone who would not just react to my body…my face…my fame…Someone who would love me for me.

Just me…Edward Anthony Cullen. Someone who would be able to confront me when I was behaving like an asshole, because I know sometimes I can be a real mother fucker.

But I guess tonight won't be the night. These jet-set types were all the same…Easy to charm…easy to screw.

Marcus touched my arm, breaking me out of my rambling thoughts.

"So Edward, are you ready to sing now? Are you okay? You seem a bit buzzed.

People are done with their meals so I guess now would be a good time for them to hear you singing if it is okay with you."

"Sure Marcus. It's okay with me. You know I can handle my alcohol," I said with a smile.

"Okay man. Just give me a minute to thank the people and introduce you. Then it all yours."

I nodded and Marcus went on the stage and spoke.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I thank you all for being here tonight. I have a surprise for you. I have a very special guest. Let me introduce you to my dear friend Edward Cullen. Most of you already know him. He is leaving tomorrow…." and he went on with his presentation as I took my place behind the piano. I heard the audience clap as I waited a few seconds before beginning to sing.

I decided to sing Shane Ward's 'No Promises'. I knew this song well and loved it.

I knew the effect this song had on girls…And I had one in mind…

I began to play the piano…and sing…looking at her.

Hey baby when we are together

Doing things that we love

Every time we're near

I feel like I'm in heaven

Feeling high

I don't want to let go girl…

I continued…concentrating on her…singing only for her. I knew she was charmed. .I knew she was fascinated.

It was me: Fucking hot Cullen …singing only for her.

The song ended and I went to the men's room. I could feel her gaze on my skin as I walked away.

That girl had to be in my bed tonight. She was going to be mine…All mine for the night.

I took time to smoke some more weed.

I knew Marcus would not be happy about that, but he wasn't in here…so I took the chance…and smoked.

As I was in the washroom smoking my joint, I overheard two designers talking.

"Hey Alistair, did you notice that brunette in a red dress?"

"Yes Caius…what's with her?"

"Well she is with Max Jenks. She is beautiful as hell. She is an escort and but does some modeling. I wonder if she would be interested in presenting my new dresses. She is absolutely divine."

"Well the only way to know is to ask her," Alistair replied.

I did not hear anything after that.

I was completely in shock!

That girl is a fucking escort? A damn-fucking-bitch escort. Un-fucking-believable.

I snapped the bathroom door shut and exited the men's room. Then…I saw her at the bar.

That little bitch would finish her night with me inside of her…sure as my name was Edward Cullen…and fuck that guy…that Max Jenks… who was with her.

So I went to the bar. She was talking with a guy. I stood behind her just long enough to be intoxicated by my scent…All girls were…This one was not different.

Then I approached her…and said in my most-velvety voice…easy for me I am an actor…playing a role…

"Hey, baby. Do you want another drink?"

"Hmmm… baby? Do I know you sir? My name is Bella, by the way." She added with a mocking tone.

And I shot back…No time to lose here…as if she didn't know me….everybody knows me.

"Okay Bella…Do you want a drink…and you certainly know me…I am famous…I am Edward Cullen."

"I know who you are…It is just the 'baby'-thing. I am not too fond of being called baby by a man I just met."

Ah yeah bitch …why don't I believe you?

"Well Bella…I am not too sure about that. The way you were staring at me tonight, I thought you could see right through my clothes."

I continued. "Anyway I am used to it. Almost all girls react to me the way you did. Just a snap of my fingers and directly to my bed," then I added, "I would like to fuck you senseless tonight," I murmured into her ear…grazing the nape of her neck. "Fuck you until you scream my name."

"What did you say?" The girl seemed to be in shock.

"You heard me just fine. I want to fuck you and I am ready to pay for your services." I shot back at her.

"What? What did you just say?? Pay for my services? What do you think I am? An escort?" she said screaming at me.

And then she slapped…me…..hard… my head flew to the side. Ouch!!! My cheek was fucking hurting. She continued to yell at me but I wasn't hearing her anymore. All I caught was…asshole…jerk…bastard. Yep, she was pissed.

And then I felt a hand on my shoulder. Marcus was beside me and addressing the girl.

"Is there a problem here, Mademoiselle?"

"Yes, there surely is. This man is your friend, right? Maybe you should choose your friends better… this one is an asshole."

And she left…I was still standing there next to Marcus. What the hell just happened??

"What did you do Edward? Are you insulting my guests? How come that girl is so mad?"

"I only asked her to fuck me…she is an escort for Christ's sake."

"You are very wrong here Edward. That girl is not an escort at all. She is a very well-respected business-woman…What the hell did you just do??"

"Oh, I thought she was a fucking hooker. I misunderstood. I am so sorry Marcus. Maybe I should go and apologize?" I really felt like an idiot now.

"Edward…you've caused enough damage for tonight. You are clearly not in your usual state of mind. Forget getting you a cab, I am driving you home myself…and Lauren is going to drive your car."

"Give me your keys and follow me now," Marcus added, grabbing me by the arm.

"Lauren take these…you'll drive Edward's car…I am driving him back to his place now."

So I followed him to his car, got in, and fell asleep.

I don't remember how I got in my bed.

I just had a vague memory of the end of the night.

Flashbacks of a beautiful girl in a red dress…a very angry girl… who gave me a hard slap on the face. My cheek still hurt.

So that was my day yesterday…and this morning I am feeling like shit with that fucking migraine.

I cleaned the rest of the apartment ….swearing a lot…because I was just a fucking-mess- asshole, just like my place.

I had some time left so I began to read that script…** 'JE TE CROIS'…

I loved that script…The script was in French but every line was translated into English.

Yes…I would have to call Charlotte back…I was very interested in this movie…and if I accepted it I would be playing the leading role.

It was then time to go to the airport. My departure was in three and a half hours. Time enough to go to Starbucks, before calling a cab to take me to the airport.

I grabbed my cell, my wallet, my keys, my luggage and my laptop then left the apartment. I went to get my Porsche and parked it in the garage and walked towards the coffee shop just across the street.

As I was waiting in line to be served, the girl in front of me turned abruptly then spilled her whole coffee on my new beige sweater. Ouch! Hot!

"Jesus Christ, little lady. Can you just be more careful? You spilled your hot coffee all over me."

"OH…Oh… I am so sorry sir. My heel got caught in the tile…excuse me…I am so sor…"

She lifted her head and looked at me as she stopped in mid-sentence.

I wasn't sure…I think I knew this girl…She had the most sparkling big brown-chocolate eyes I've ever seen in my whole life…and she was beautiful.

"Oh….okay…I'll get some paper towels…Do I know you? Your face seems familiar."

I was absolutely convinced I had met her somewhere recently.

She looked at me straight in the eyes and said in a very arrogant tone.

"Oh yes, Edward Cullen. You saw me all right yesterday but you fucking don't know me at all."

And then she added…"And just forget about my apologies…You ruined my night yesterday you pretentious prick…and now I ruined your sweater…Tit for tat…"

Then she left without looking back.

End of the chapter: N/A

So Edward…..you little fucking bastard….You can have all the girls you want…seems to me that you are very wrong darling…no challenge you said…well we'll see about it….

** Je te crois…(script)…I believe you…

This is the recipe for the Hawaiian hooker…I could not resist putting this drink in Edward's hands.

One half oz. Amaretto

One half oz. Southern Comfort

One quarter oz. Grenadine

One and a half oz. Pineapple juice

Combine with ice and shake. Strain and serve straight up.

I recommend these stories..

Midnight sun from chapter 13 and Acting like its love (lionandlamb01)

Lunch date (JenKB)…This is about Jacob… I love the story…. But I still am all Edward…just so you know..

Hope you loved this chapter as I loved writing it for you. Review and comments if you want. We live in a free country.. Though I enjoy reading what you think and I usually reply... and thanks to all my lovely readers. xxxx