Episode 3x11 – Part 2

A/N Thank you for all the reviews. No ramblings today. I don't own Chuck.

Chuck passed his spy test. With flying…well, a flying towel. It wouldn't have been that bad, but then he decided to look for said towel, clearly forgetting that everything he saw, we saw. Shaw turned green. It could have been envy, it could have been nausea. I was too hot and bothered to care.

Shaw had to speak twice to get my attention. "Excuse me?"

"Chuck did well tonight." I didn't meet his eyes.

"Yeah, he did." I had to concentrate hard not to stumble over my words.

"Just think, this time tomorrow he could be a spy." Wait, what?

"But I thought…"

"The mission isn't over, Sarah. Ask him to meet you at Tracks tomorrow night. You can brief him on the final part of the mission then."

"What is the final part of the mission?" I had a bad feeling about this.

"That's not important now. I'll brief you tomorrow. It's late, let's go home." I almost winced. Think fast, Sarah.

"Why don't you go on ahead? I still have some paperwork to finish." Actually all the paperwork was done for a change. The things I wouldn't do to avoid him.

"It can wait until tomorrow. We haven't…" I know exactly where he was going with that.

"We need to focus on the final part of Chuck's mission tomorrow," I reminded him. Shaw wanted to protest, but I drew a file closer and ignored him. He sighed.

"Don't stay too late. See you later?" He sounded hopeful.

"Of course," I lied. When I was sure Shaw was gone, I retrieved my gym bag from the dojo and pulled out one of Chuck's t-shirts that 'went missing in the laundry'. I'm sleeping in Castle tonight. Alone. But I wasn't tired yet. There was too much on my mind. I was not in the mood for thinking either. What was there to think about? I've made my decision. I made myself comfortable on one of the chairs in the surveillance room and propped my legs up on the table. I switched on the monitor. Chuck and Morgan were playing duck hunt. Chuck got a perfect score. Morgan accused him of using the intersect. I smiled to myself. Surely Morgan should know by now that Chuck doesn't cheat. Morgan insisted on a rematch. Chuck just smiled as he took aim again. That's when it hit me. The final part of Chuck's mission. Shaw was going to give him his red test. Correction, Shaw was going to order me to give him his red test.

I wiped down the counter for the third time. Or was it the fourth? Chuck once told me that was how the Bartowski's dealt with stress. They cleaned. I was clearly not a Bartowski. I was worried. Very. The plan was not fool proof. It was immoral, unethical and illegal, but I was okay with that. So was Casey. And apparently Chuck would be too, seeing as he already committed a felony that, unbeknown to him, would help in the execution. (It was a thoughtful felony though, stealing a government issued firearm as a gift for Casey). But a lot could go wrong. And if the worst happened…I didn't even want to think about that. The bell over the door rang.

"Hey there, colleague. So tell me, when should I expect to receive my international spy union card, huh?"

"You did a great job last night, Chuck. Congratulations." I know I was acting a little distant, but it was necessary. It's the last time, I kept telling myself.

"Thank you. I appreciate that. Uh…so…tell me…and this is just between the two of us, just for the sake of conversation, but as far as these tests go…do other people do as well as I did or did I do like historically well?" I'm pretty sure Chuck's test will make history, only not for the reasons he had hoped.

"Uhm…listen Chuck, I was hoping that you would be free for dinner tonight?" I wish it was a real invitation. A real date. Not some means to an end.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. In fact, I was actually gonna ask you if you were free."

"So, how about Tracks? It's a restaurant down at Union Station."

"Uh…yeah. Sounds great. Nothing wets the whistle like the sound of a nice long horn." My immediate reaction was to smile, but I suppressed it. "Forget it, I'm very excited."

"Well, don't get too excited." He was going to be disappointed enough as it is once he realised what tonight was about. But I will make it up to him. Somehow.

"Let me finish. By excited, I mean cold as ice, because you know now I'm a real spy." Chuck mumbled the words out of the corner of his mouth to avoid any customers overhearing. I think we're going to have that don't-say-you're-a-spy-in-public conversation again. He gave me smile before he turned to leave with a "honk- honk", pretending to pull a train whistle. This time there was no hiding my smile, despite the knot in my stomach.

I was right. Chuck had to kill Perry. I didn't have to pretend to be shocked when Shaw told me. I spent the whole night praying I was wrong. I tried another tactic too, trying to convince Shaw that it would be sufficient for Chuck to bring Perry in. But Shaw was adamant. And I had to give the order. Tell Chuck to kill Perry. Chuck would do it if I told him to. I can't believe this bastard. He would use my feelings for Chuck like that? I know he had suspected for a while now that I was in love with Chuck and I wasn't very convincing when I denied it. And what about Shaw's supposed feelings for me? I'm trying really hard to remember why I gave into Shaw in the first place. Because I was lonely? Because Chuck seemed happy with Hannah? All I know is that I could never make a bigger mistake in my life if I tried. I almost lost Chuck over this. I just hoped that I wouldn't lose Chuck forever after tonight.

I told Shaw I couldn't do it. That I didn't want Chuck to be able to do it. I was selling it, but it was true. I could never order Chuck to kill. But for this plan to work, I had to. Of all the lies I ever told Chuck, this would be the worst one. But it will be the last one. Yeah, Walker, 'cause that makes it better.

Shaw said it wasn't about me. It wasn't. I didn't want to lose the good, innocent man I met three years ago, but more importantly I knew what it would do to Chuck if he did this. He would never feel like the same person again. It's been eight years and I still don't. That was the worst night of my life.

Chuck was right on time. He looked quite dashing in his new suit. Minus a tie. I hated the way he tied them. His ties were always so perfect. I rarely had the opportunity to straighten them for him, just so I could get a chance to run my hand over his chest. Stupid to think about that now, I know, but I had no idea how I was going to get through this.

Always the gentlemen, he complimented me. Ellie raised him well. Then he was babbling about coming on too strong the previous night. I disagreed, of course, but I couldn't voice it. So I decided to press on. I handed him the blue envelope with Perry's photo. I had to take a calming breath before pushing the napkin with the gun towards him. Chuck was taken aback. He wanted to know if we were sure about this guy. I confirmed it. Then he looked straight at me. I expected the uncertainty I read in his eyes, and the disappointment, but I wasn't prepared for the betrayal. Chuck thought I had betrayed him. It was too much. I couldn't do this. I can't lie to him anymore.

His hand was still on the napkin covered gun. I placed mine on top of his and leaned forward. "Do you trust me?" Chuck was conflicted and it hurt a little. He always had blind faith in me, even when I didn't deserve it, but this time I was going to have to earn his trust. "I've got this covered."

He gave me a puzzled look. "What are you talking about?" There wasn't time to fill him in on the whole plan. Perry was going to show up at any moment.

"You need to get Perry out of the restaurant. I'll be waiting outside. Take him to the tracks and I will take care of the rest."

Chuck's eyes widened. "No. You can't do that. You can't risk your career for me, Sarah. Not for this. It's not your job to protect me anymore." This is why I didn't want to tell him beforehand. He could be so stubborn sometimes. Didn't he know by now that I would risk everything for him?

"It was never a job, Chuck. You were always more to me than just..." I realised what I was saying. This was not the time. I couldn't afford for Chuck to be distracted. "Just do as I say and trust me." I saw Perry on the other side of the station. It was time. "Please," I almost begged as I got up to leave.

I took a seat on one of the train benches outside the restaurant. I had a view of Perry's face. He was nervous. I didn't like it. It made things unpredictable. He got up and went to the men's room. My heart stopped when Chuck followed him. That was definitely not part of the plan. I couldn't just go in guns blazing. It was a public place and a men's room. Before I could decide what to do, Perry came walking out of the restaurant with Chuck following close behind, his gun pointing discreetly at Perry's back. I could breathe again.

But then everything went to hell.

Perry started running, pushing a bystander into Chuck to slow him down. It didn't work and Chuck took off after him. I tried to keep up, but they were too quick. At least they were heading for the tracks, but I didn't have time to warn Casey. Damn it. I couldn't catch up. By the time I made it outside, I've lost them. With my gun drawn, I started running blindly between the stationery trains. It was a stupid move, really stupid. There were two armed agents and an armed civil out here. I could get myself killed, but it didn't matter. I had to get to Chuck.

I stopped in my tracks when I heard a shot. The bullet ricocheted off a train wagon. Chuck must have fired a warning shot. I made my way towards the sound. Then I heard the second shot. Moments later I saw them. Perry was on the ground. He wasn't moving. Chuck was standing over him, aiming his gun at him. And I didn't see Casey. I was breathing hard and not just from running. I tried to wrap my head around what had just happened. Shaw's voice came over my ear wig.

"What happened?"

"Chuck's a spy," I responded into my watch. It was all I could think of to say.

I jumped when someone touched my shoulder. It was Casey. I raised my eyebrows in question and he just nodded. That was all I needed. It was over. Chuck was a spy. And he was still Chuck. He was still my Chuck. "Casey, I don't know how to thank you. What you did tonight..."

"The kid's not like us, Walker. I did what I had to." He turned and walked away. He may try to hide it, but I was on to John Casey. He had lady feelings too.

There was no time to talk to Chuck after everything went down. The cleaners showed up and Chuck was told to go home. I went back to Castle. Shaw and I had to debrief Beckman. I just hoped Beckman made it quick. I wanted to see Chuck before the agent showed up to take him to Washington.

I found Shaw in the surveillance room with a smug grin on his face. "Nicely done, darling. I knew I could count on you." He winked at me. That did it. All the stress of the past twenty four hours and the anger at him for asking me to do this, to give Chuck his red test, came rushing to the surface. Along with three year's worth of pent-up frustration I had to bury far too deep for far too long. I packed it all into that punch. Daniel Shaw went flying across the room, blood spurting from his nose and the cut on his lip.

"Fuck you, Shaw!" I didn't notice that Beckman came on screen in the middle of my outburst.

"Agent Walker!" She was waiting for me to explain. I didn't. I turned around and walked away, resisting the urge to flip her the bird. I needed this job. If Chuck was going to be a spy, I was going to be a spy. But I'll deal with the fallout tomorrow. Tonight I had somewhere else to be.

I didn't bother to knock. Chuck never locked his door. I always told him to, but it was the stay-in-the-car routine all over again. He jumped up from the coach, surprised to see me. I didn't say anything. I simply took him by the hand and practically dragged him to the bathroom. It was the only room with no surveillance. I was feeling so many things all at once, my body was shaking. When we reached our destination I turned to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he answered, "thanks to you and Casey. I can't believe you did that."

"I didn't do much. It was all Casey." That wasn't a lie.

Chuck shook his head. "You set it up. Casey told me."

"Casey was my backup, Chuck. I was supposed to shoot Perry. Casey is a civilian and technically what he did was murder. He was willing to do it, but it wasn't supposed to play out that way. I didn't get to you in time."

Chuck took my hands in his and gave it a little squeeze. He was about to say something, but then he noticed my injured hand. "Sarah, what happened?"

I tried to play it off. "Shaw's face walked into it. It's not as bad as it looks." It was throbbing actually.

Chuck turned me towards the basin and opened the tap. When he stuck my hand under the cold water I impulsively tried to pull it back. It hurt. He gently held it there and put his other arm around my shoulder, giving me a comforting hug. "It'll be okay in a minute." For a while we didn't speak. Chuck broke the silence.

"Sarah, if I...if I was the one who shot Perry tonight, would you look at me differently?" His eyes met mine in the mirror.

The question was easier to answer than I expected. "No, Chuck." In a perfect world I wouldn't want Chuck to kill, but we are spies. It was inevitable. All I could do was to protect him for as long as I can and then accept the outcome when I failed.

"Then why did you do it? I mean, why didn't you just let me..."

"Because I don't want you to look at yourself differently." He pulled me a little closer and shut off the water. He took a towel and gently wrapped it around my hand.

"You know I feel the same way, right?"

I nodded. "I know. But it's the life we've chosen." That reminded me of what I came here to tell Chuck. "Chuck, I need you to do something for me."

"Anything." My heart fluttered a little. It seemed his blind faith in me has been restored. I won't let him down this time.

"Beckman is sending an agent here tonight to escort you to Washington. You'll meet with her tomorrow. She will officially assign you to Rome and expect you to leave right away." Chuck looked a little panicked, but I had a plan. At least this one didn't involve guns.

"Don't worry," I tried to assure him. "When she gives you your assignment, just be Chuck. Tell her that you're not sure about this whole thing. She won't do anything drastic, she wants you to be a spy. The agency has invested a lot of resources to make it happen. She will probably offer you some time off. A vacation courtesy of the CIA. You take it. And then you get on a plane and you come straight back to Burbank. To me." Chuck smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. "I have a few loose ends to tie up here and we need to decide how we are going to deal with the Rome-Washington situation."

"What did you have in mind?" I was still working on that. After what just happened at Castle, I doubt Beckman was in the mood to do me any favours. I decided to divert a little. The agent could arrive any minute.

Placing my uninjured hand on the back of Chuck's neck, I reached up. "We were interrupted last night." Chuck smiled as he met me halfway. Almost. There was a knock on the front door.

I was about to let out a frustrated groan when I felt Chuck's hand on the back of my head, keeping me in place as his lips captured mine. I was expecting something slow and tender, but he had other ideas. I grabbed a fist full of curls when he angled his head to deepen this kiss. I gasped when he ran his tongue over my bottom lip. Mine met his in a battle neither of us had the intention to lose. But I gave up first, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. I wanted to taste more of him.

The knock grew louder and Chuck pulled away reluctantly. I struggled to get my breathing under control. Taking his hand again, we walked out to the living room. Chuck turned to me and pulled me into a tight embrace. "I'm gonna miss you."

I let out a breathless laugh. "You'll be back tomorrow night." I had faith in him too.

"I know," he gave me a quick kiss, "but I'll still miss you."

"I'll miss you more," I replied and ushered him out the door.

A/N I realise Chuck gave the gun to Casey only after Sarah asked him to dinner, for this we'll assume it happened the other way around. It is my episode after all. This isn't over. The next chapter is going to be painful (if your name is Daniel Shaw). There's gonna be some spy-couple action (not that kind, blush, okay maybe), a little drama and a lot of fun. See you this weekend for the next instalment.