Sofia sat sullenly at the lunch table at school with Zola and Riley. This time, Zola hadn't asked her if it was okay to invite Riley to sit with them, she had just done it, and there was nothing Sofia could do about it. She bitterly wondered if it was part of her mothers' plot for the day, leaving Riley with Zola so that they could bond independently of her. And now, they were talking with each other about Chopped as if she wasn't even there.
One thing was for sure though. She wasn't sharing her Oreos with either of them today. Momma would just have to start packing Riley her own.
"Sofia?" Zola's voice shook her from her silent stewing. Turning abruptly toward the pair sitting next to her, she saw Riley reaching out, offering her a Nutter Butter from a ziplock bag with a pink post-it note stuck to it. Her mother was clever, she had to give her that. Mumbling a begrudging, "Thank you," Sofia snatched a cookie, continuing to hoard her Oreos for herself.
After another five minutes of listening half heartedly to the two yammering on about their cooking passions or whatever, Sofia came up with an idea. Standing abruptly from the table, she announced, "We should to play basketball."
She looked expectantly at Riley and Zola, who both remained awkwardly seated. Zola spoke up hesitantly, "I think we should play a game that we can all play."
Sofia rolled her eyes, "She can play. We're just playing HORSE. There are entire wheelchair basketball leagues—Momma knows all about adaptive sports. A wheelchair definitely doesn't make you incapable of playing HORSE." She crossed her arms, waiting impatiently for them to make up their minds. Finally, Riley responded with feigned confidence, "Okay, let's play."
To be honest, Sofia wasn't expecting Riley to take her up on the offer. Mostly, she's been looking for an activity far enough from Riley's comfort zone to exclude her, yet within the realm of what was possible for Riley to play so that she and Zola could play together without feeling guilty. But she couldn't very well say that now. So she grabbed the most inflated ball she could find from the bin and ran up to the court where Riley and Zola were already waiting for her. She spotted a yard aide watching them nervously; she wasn't sure Riley had ever tried anything like this before.
Choosing her position at the corner of the court, Sofia made her first shot; it swished flawlessly into the basket. She smirked cockily, "Alright Zola, beat that." Zola walked up to the spot that Sofia indicated with her foot until she arrived. After taking a moment to focus, she tossed the ball upward; it bounced off the backboard and into the hoop. She waited on the spot nervously as Sofia gathered the ball. She looked over to Riley, and not trying to suppress her glee, Sofia sneered, "Your turn."
Riley wheeled herself up to the spot, braking her wheelchair in place as Sofia handed her the ball. Focusing on the hoop, she concentrated for a few moments, felling the bumps on the balls beneath her fingers. Lunging her arms forward, she threw the ball toward the hoop. It soared a good foot below the hoop and a yard shy, bouncing on the ground with a thud as it rolled away from them.
Sofia, Zola, and Riley all watched it for a second, until Sofia cried out triumphantly, "H." She looked to the other two, Zola staring at her feet awkwardly and Riley still watching the bouncing ball. Shaking her head angrily, Riley muttered, "I knew this was a bad idea," and rolled off toward the edge of the playground.
Sofia watched her go, her breath stuck in her throat. It was what she had wanted from the beginning, but now, as she stared after Riley, witnessing her embarrassment and disappointment, Sofia could feel the hot shame building up inside of her. In the end, she just couldn't go through with it, "Hey!" she called after Riley. Grabbing the ball on her way, she ran in front of Riley's path, forcing her to stop. Riley just stared at her lap.
"I didn't think you'd give up that easily," Sofia said, the harsh edge she usually addressed Riley with no longer present. She handed Riley the ball, and ran behind her wheelchair, grabbing the handles and wheeling her back toward the court, and up to the same spot. With a soft smile, she nodded toward the hoop, and encouraged her to try again.
Sofia and Riley sat in the hospital cafeteria, awkwardly waiting to go home. Zola had left over an hour ago with Meredith, but Callie and Arizona were apparently both finishing up surgeries, so the two of them sat and waited silently.
"I know you were trying to exclude me today by playing HORSE," Riley said, breaking their silence. Sofia looked up guiltily, "Yeah, about that—"
"No, it's okay," Riley cut her off, "What I meant was, I'm glad you did it. I haven't held a basketball in so long and even though I didn't make any baskets… It was still cool. So, thanks."
Sofia looked up at her in shock; she hadn't been expecting that at all, and didn't know how to respond. "Yeah, sure," she finally said after a tense pause.
Riley continued to hold her gazed, and after a moment, continued talking, "You haven't been very nice to me since I've gotten here. Not that it's all your fault or anything, and that's not even what I'm saying, it's just… the kids at school, and most adults too, they look at my like they feel sorry for me. They pity me. And you've never done that, which I appreciate."
Sofia nodded, looking away, not knowing whether to feel proud or ashamed of this praise she clearly didn't deserve. She finally turned back to Riley, "Well… sure." After a moment's pause she added, "I'll share my Oreos tomorrow. And you can borrow more of my books if you want."
Riley chuckled, "I'll take you up on the books, but you can keep the Oreos. I'm not really a chocolate person."
"Who the heck isn't a chocolate person?" Sofia exclaimed incredulously, laughing in relief. It was hard being angry for so long and she was surprised how much better she felt letting some of that go.
"Are you guys ready to go?" Callie called from the doorway of the cafeteria, Arizona standing behind her. "We were ready an hour ago!" called Sofia, grabbing the handles of Riley's wheelchair and pushing her toward the door. Callie and Arizona exchanged a look, taken aback by the difference in interaction between the two girls from just that morning.
"How was school?" Callie asked, not wanting to jinx this new dynamic by drawing attention to it. Riley smiled, "It was good. We played basketball." Both Callie and Arizona raised their eyes, excitement and concern warring for dominance, but Riley continued, assuaging their worries, "Just HORSE. Nothing too active. But it was fun."
"I won," Sofia stated teasingly, and Riley responded, "Yeah, well I'm out of practice, so just you wait and see." Arizona beamed at the interactions between the two girls, "Who wants pizza for dinner?"
"Me!" both girls responded enthusiastically as they reached the car, rolling Riley into the wheelchair accessible van they had leased. Callie handed Sofia her phone, "Alright, m'ija. You and Riley decide on a topping, and place the order for pick-up on our way home. Put in a veggie pizza for me and your mother."
"Can we get cinnamon sticks?" Sofia asked. Looking to Arizona, who nodded, Callie gave in. "Sure!" Arizona watched both girls huddled over Callie's phone, scrolling through the options on the Domino's app, excitement bubbling up inside her at the budding relationship she could see growing between them.
"The zoo is soooo cool! They have elephants and red wolves and an aquarium with jellyfish and an octopus, though you usually can't see it because it likes to hide in corners," Sofia explained to Riley in the car on their way to the Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium in Tacoma. Arizona shuddered at the mention of the octopus, causing Sofia to giggle. "Octopi freak Momma out," she told Riley. Arizona sighed defensively, "They're freaky! Did you hear about that one that escaped the tank at night and ate the zoo employees?"
"If by zoo employees, you mean fish, then yeah, I've heard of that," added Callie, rolling her eyes. Arizona slapped her wife's arm playfully as she laughed from the passenger's seat.
"Whatever," Sofia said, continuing with her play by play of the zoo. "So, yeah, and then there's leopards and polar bears. And camels! You can even ride a camel!" As soon as the words left her mouth, she paused, remembering awkwardly that with Riley's paralysis, she probably couldn't ride a camel. But Riley didn't seem bothered by her mistake, "It's okay. I wouldn't want to ride one anyway. I don't especially want to ride big animals. I'm not into horseback riding either."
"I hear that, Riley. I don't like riding the camels either," Arizona chimed in with a curt shake of her head. Callie snickered, "Is there anything you like about the zoo?" Arizona shrugged, "The fish are alright." Callie chuckled softly, but reached her arm over to the passenger's seat and squeezed her wife's shoulder, "I'm glad you're going though," she indicated gently. Since her time in the woods following the plane crash, Arizona didn't especially enjoy being around wild animals, and Callie knew that the zoo was a significant step for her, even if she the animals featured in the Point Defiance Zoo bore little resemblance to those she encountered in the woods.
As the Beyonce CD Callie had selected came to an end, she pulled it out and turned to the seat behind her, "Alright, Riley. It's your turn to pick the music." Riley pondered for a second, before asking, "Do you have Dixie Chicks' Wide Open Spaces?" Arizona beamed, "We sure do! And it is underplayed in this car, if you ask me."
Sofia groans, "There's a reason for that Momma. Do we really have to listen to country?" She looked to Callie for support, but she didn't receive any. Riley hesitated, not wanting to endanger her new found relationship with Sofia, "Um, I can pick something else."
Sofia looked up at Callie, who gave her a stern look in the rear view mirror. Sighing deeply as the tense silence filled the car, she relented, "Dixie Chicks is fine, I guess. But can we listen to the album with the song about the women who murders that abusive husband?" Riley's eyes light up, "Oh, yeah! Let's listen to that one! It's my favorite!"
Arizona smiled widely, "Sounds good! Put it in, Calliope." Looking over to Arizona, Callie raised her eyebrows, mumbling under her breath, "You sure this is age appropriate?"
"Oh, relax. It's fine," Arizona responded casually, waving her hand dismissively. Callie shrugged, "Alright, here we go." She inserted the CD, and within a moment, they were all singing along.
"So, you come in here everyday?" Sofia asked Riley as she stood in the doorway of Riley's father's hospital room. Riley nodded in affirmation, "Every day I'm at the hospital. Arizona says that we don't know that he can hear me, but we don't know that he can't. So, I talk to him. Tell him how things are going."
Rolling up next to her father's bed, she gestured for Sofia to take a seat on the plastic chair next to the bed. "Hey, Dad. I brought Sofia with me today. She's my foster sister. We sometimes play basketball at recess, and we went to the zoo last weekend. I think you would like it there."
Turning her head to Sofia, Riley asked, "Do you want to say anything to him?" Sofia hesitated, wringing her hands awkwardly, then whispered, "I mean, would that be weird? I don't exactly know him." Riley shrugged, "If he can hear what's happening, he might think it's weird if you don't even say hi."
Taking a deep breath, Sofia began reluctantly, "Hello… Mr. Thomas. I'm Sofia…. Robbin Sloan Torres. Uh, thank you for having me in your room today. I hope you wake up soon." She paused, and turned to Riley, "Was that okay?" Riley nodded smugly, "I think it's fine. Hopefully when he wakes up, he won't hold your awkwardness against you."
Sofia scoffed defensively as Riley turned back to her father, "Alright, well, I'm gonna go do my homework with Sofia. I'll see you tomorrow, Dad. I love you." She smiled toward him, even though he couldn't see, and wheeled herself out of the room, Sofia following closely behind, relieved to be able to leave.
"Momma! Mami!" Sofia cried excitedly, running toward her mothers gleefully. It was a rare day when they both got off from work promptly at 5pm, with no emergencies keeping one or both of them at the hospital late into the night. Which meant that they were both arriving to take her home. It was a rare and special day when Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres wasn't the last kid left in daycare—Callie and Arizona had paid the after school workers hundreds of dollars in overtime this year alone.
"Hey bug!" Arizona smiled, scooping her five-year-old daughter into her arms as Callie leaned in and placed a kiss on her head before walking over to sign her out. They walked toward the car together as Sofia chattered excitedly about her day, "And I saw a lizard at recess! I tried to catch him but he was too fast." Callie nodded in understanding, "They are fast little guys. The trick is to approach them very slowly so that you don't scare them off." Sofia nodded seriously, "Okay, I'll try that next time."
"Just so long as you don't bring it into the house," Arizona reminded, as she buckled her daughter into the booster seat. While any sort of insects and reptiles gave her the creeps, her daughter had inherited a fondness for them from her other mother. Arizona found it cute most of the time, so long as none of the creepy crawlies ended up inside. "I know, Momma," Sofia said, her tone laced with annoyance, as if this was a tremendous hardship.
The drive home was quick, the car filled with Sofia's excitement. As they arrived at their house, their daughter remembered a question that had come up at school, "Do I have a dad?"
Callie and Arizona froze, looking to each other with sad eyes as their daughter continued, "We're making Father's Day cards in class, and I don't know who to make one for. I mean, I know that I have two moms when most people just have one, but do I have a dad too?" The innocence of her question broke Arizona's heart, as she reached behind her and clicked her daughter's seatbelt undone, "Sofia, let's go inside and talk about it over on the couch, bug." She lead her daughter inside and through the living room, gently over to the sofa, where she sat on the end while patting the middle cushion to indicate that Sofia should sit there.
Callie solemnly took her seat on the opposite end of the couch so that her daughter sat between her two mothers. She was so guilty that her daughter didn't remember Mark. If felt like her fault. Sure, Sofia hadn't even been two when he died, but Callie still wondered if maybe she'd talked to her more about him, showed her his pictures, that she would remember. She knows that's what Mark would have wanted, but it had just been too hard. For a long time, Arizona had refused to talk about anything remotely related to the plane crash (for a while, she'd refused to talk period), and it was so painful for Callie to bring it up. But now the time had come. Her daughter had asked about her father and she deserved to know.
"Sofia, you had a father. He loved you very much. But he died a few years ago, when you were really little," Callie said softly, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder and trying to keep her voice even. Sofia's eyes filled with horror, "What happened? Was he in the army, like Uncle Timothy?"
Arizona shook her head, swallowing the lump forming in her throat as she explained, "No, bug. He wasn't in the army. He was a surgeon, like Mami and me. He was flying on a plane to Idaho to do a surgery there, and the plane didn't work right, so it crashed," Arizona explained, her calm voice not reflecting her racing heart. Sofia's eyes widened in fear, "The plane crashed? Was anyone else on the plane?"
Callie looked to her wife, who nodded, giving her silent permission to tell their daughter, "There were a lot of doctors on the plane, your Momma was one of them." Sofia's eyes filled instantly with tears as she instinctively wrapped her arms tightly around Arizona, clinging to her as if she might suddenly disappear.
"It's okay, Sofia," Arizona whispered, hugging her daughter tightly. "Did you get hurt?" Sofia asked, her voice muffled against her Momma's chest. Arizona nodded, "I broke my left leg. And it got infected, so they had to cut it off." Sofia shivered in terror. She knew her Momma only had one leg, but it hadn't occurred to her that she at one point had two. That it was even possible to sever a leg from a body.
"I don't want you to die, Momma," Sofia cried, shaking against Arizona. Callie reached over, patting Sofia on the head comfortingly, "Don't worry, m'ija. Your Momma's not going to die." Arizona glanced up at Callie—this was an area of parenting where they disagreed. Callie always tried to shelter her daughter from the harsher truths of life, but Arizona didn't like lying. Yet, in this moment, she couldn't bear to tell her daughter that sometimes life could change in an instant, that the people closest to you could be ripped away at any moment.
"I'm not going anywhere, Sofia," Arizona cooed softly. "I'm right here."