Chapter Forty-Four
Hermione awoke the next morning feeling as though she'd been hit by the Hogwarts Express. For a moment, she couldn't remember why.
Sitting up in bed, she was bathed in a sort of watery sunlight, despite the rain, from the window by her bed. The crimson silk curtains had been drawn open, or else never closed. A pleasant view of Hagrid's hut alongside the Forbidden Forest met her eyes.
It was as if the train had come back around and hit her again. Events from the previous night flooded into memory and she fought the tears for a few moments before they won.
Once she'd had her cry, she got out of bed slowly, like an old woman who has seen far more than her share of the world. One glance at her reflection sent her into another wave of despair – there would be no fixing the mess that met her eyes… but she would have to do her best.
She glanced at the clock on the wall: there was still two hours before Arithmancy, then Potions that evening. She gathered all her necessary school things before setting to work on herself.
In her mind, she came up with a dozen things she would say to Draco when she saw him once that door was opened. Half an hour later, she was still not sure which one she would use… but there could be no more waiting. Harry, Ron and Ginny would worry if she didn't show up to breakfast.
Tentatively, she turned the handle… and with a great rush of courage, flung the door outward. An empty room met her eyes, though it showed signs of habitation. A Slytherin tie was folded neatly on the circular table by the window and a book lay upturned on the couch titled Wuthering Heights.
Hermione's brow furrowed. She had not left the book there – she hated that book – and she couldn't picture Draco enjoying Muggle literature.
Picking it up, she read the page that lay open:
"You said I killed you – haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always – take any form – drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!"
She quickly shut the book, reminded of why she'd detested it. Though it was warm through the rain, she shivered. Glancing around her and confirming the emptiness of the entire suite, she hitched her schoolbag higher on her shoulder and fairly flew out the door toward the Dining Hall.
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"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed as Hermione slid into the seat beside her, "where have you been?"
"You had us all worried sick, you did!" Ron added in an unintentionally apt impression of his own mother.
Very quickly and under her breath, Hermione explained everything that'd happened in regard to the room and McGonagoll. At some point during the whispered exchange, Harry, Ron and Ginny each glanced at the teacher's table to peer at McGonagoll and then at the Slytherin table to see if Draco was there. McGonagoll was engaged in conversation with Professor Nguyen, the Transfiguration professor; Draco was conspicuously absent.
Hermione left out the part where Draco had kissed her: Ron was already steaming out his ears.
Once finished with her story, she leaned back and let the other three survey her.
"So is it true?" Ginny queried, "does the school really give…" she glanced around to make sure no one was listening, "…married couples their own suite? Historically, I mean?"
"It does say so in Hogwarts, A History," Hermione admitted, "only I'd forgotten about it until Professor McGonagoll said it."
"Are you still allowed in our Common Room?" Harry asked seriously.
"Well, she said I was welcome to continue on in Gryffindor Tower…" Hermione trailed off.
"Excellent," Ron said as if in conclusion, "so you don't have to stay with the git at all!"
"Ron, hush," Ginny warned, because Parvati Patil had looked over curiously at his outburst.
On their way to Arithmancy from breakfast, Hermione and Ginny walked almost in silence to the classroom, until Ginny said, "You're very brave, you know. What you've been through, I mean. You can still keep your head up. Most people couldn't."
"Thank you," was all Hermione could reply.
Ginny took her friend's hand and gave her an encouraging smile, "I will always be a friend. I will always be there for you to turn to. Just so you remember."
"I know, Ginny. Thank you. You and Harry, and…. Ron," Hermione listed uncertainly, "are such wonderful friends to me. I hardly think I deserve you."
It took a lot of effort, but Hermione managed a wan smile to mirror Ginny's. But there was something in Hermione's smile that unnerved Ginny. It had never been in Hermione's smile before… but it would be in every single one thereafter. It was the smile of a young woman who had been trodden on one too many times.
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In the break following Arthimancy and before Potions, Hermione joined Ginny, Ron and Harry in the Gryffindor Common Room. Ginny and Harry had both finished Charms essays, but Ron was still struggling through another six inches. Ginny was schooling Harry at Wizarding Chess. Ron had ink on the end of his long nose. Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown were gossiping with another Gryffindor girl Hermione didn't know, while someone was teaching Dennis Creevy how to play Gobstones. It was almost like old times for Hermione, which made it all the more bittersweet.
Having finished her own Charms essay a few days ago, Hermione was alternately watching Ginny and Harry's game of chess and helping Ron "find the words" for his essay.
"You're a lifesaver, Hermione!" Ron breathed, as he completed another two inches with her help.
"Check," said Ginny, moving her rook across from Harry's king.
"Honestly, I dunno what I would ever do without you!" Ron exclaimed, suddenly making the entirely situation extremely awkward for all four of them. Ron's face colored the same as his hair.
"Checkmate," Ginny crowed.
"Rotten, I am," Harry admitted. "Care to head off to Potions, Hermione? Bit early, but we can take the long way around the Quidditch Pitch and I can show you my new broom…"
Everyone was glad of this, because it meant an end to the awkwardness created by Ron's statement. Hermione gathered her things and followed Harry out the Portrait Hole. Before they exited, Hermione heard Ginny exclaim, "Nice going, Ron! You have to watch what you say."
Harry and Hermione walked a bit of a distance, taking the long way around the Quidditch pitch, like Harry had suggested – although Hermione knew Harry knew her well enough that most broomsticks looked the same to her.
"Hermione," Harry began surely enough, "I'm worried about you. You barely eat – you're thinner than I was after spending a summer at the Dursley's. You barely speak. You aren't taking care of yourself."
"I…"
"Hear me out. You stuck with me during the worst of it, Hermione. It was you who solved the riddle to get to the Sorcerer's Stone. It was you who helped me save Sirius and Buckbeak when we used the Time Turner. You got me through the Triwizard Tournament. You stuck by me in the Department of Mysteries. When we were looking for all those horcruxes last year, you stuck by me the entire way. You've always given our friendship everything you had, Hermione – don't think I haven't noticed.
"You have been a friend like no one could ask for. Let me help you. I want to help you."
Hermione sank onto one of the stone outcroppings of the courtyard they were walking by. Harry sat next to her and took one of her hands. Two passing Hufflepuffs who saw, immediately began to gossip. Hermione didn't care.
Choosing her words carefully, Hermione began, "Harry, last year when Ron and I went down into the Chamber of Secrets to get that basilisk fang... and I, I, I saw the, the body of that… thing," Hermione stuttered, tears now beginning to stream down her face. She gasped, "Harry you were so brave and you were only twelve when you killed it! And, and last year… with V-Voldemort, I…! I wish I were as brave as you!"
Throwing herself into his chest, she cried her heart out.
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Author's Note: Thanks a bunch to InvisibleLilacNights, IGOTEAMEDWARD, Novindalf, 123Aqua123, aridnie, xshaiyaxstar and ebbe04 for reviewing!
Not much action in this chapter, but filler stuff that needs to happen.