Changed Roles, chapter 11
"I didn't think that any man would ever love me the way you love Amanda but now I think that Michael could love me that way but the deck is stacked against us. I've always fought for what I wanted but now I have no idea what I should do," Francine confessed to Lee as a lone tear rolled down her cheek. Amanda rarely cried in Lee's presence but he'd grown adept at comforting her when she did cry but the prospect that Francine might begin to cry unnerved Lee and it showed on his face. "Don't worry Scarecrow; I have no intention of allowing myself to cry," Francine said as she swiped at the lone tear.
"It might not be so terrible if you did give in to the urge occasionally, sometimes it actually helps, denying your feelings won't do you any good in the long run," Lee told an unconvinced Francine whose only response was an arched eyebrow. "Don't look at me that way, I know what I'm talking about, I did everything that I could to deny my feelings and I only succeeded in ensuring that I was alone and miserable. If Amanda hadn't been-"
"I understand that Amanda changed you but that isn't going to work for me with Michael because he doesn't think that I need his help; he actually wants me to help him get his life together," Francine interjected.
"You don't really understand about me and Amanda; you jumped to the same mistaken conclusion that I did until Amanda set me straight. Amanda stubbornly worked at knocking down the walls I'd built around my heart but she didn't change me," Lee told Francine. "Nobody can change another person unless the other person truly wants to change. Amanda helped me to come to terms with my past and she showed me that my past didn't have to prevent me from leading a full life now but I had to be willing to change how I was living. Don't let whatever it is that's worrying you now prevent you from fighting for what you want the way you always have."
"That's easy for you to say; you have no idea what I'm up against," Francine said as she took off her shoes and put her legs up on the sofa. "Why don't you fix us some drinks and then I'll tell you everything?"
"I think you've probably had enough to drink already and we both have to be at work in a few hours so I'm going to make us a pot of decaf. Would you like some cookies on the side; Amanda baked them?"
"You really have turned into a normal person; this is the second time in a week that you've discouraged me from drinking an alcoholic beverage. Michael and I drank more than we planned to earlier but I'm not drunk," Francine said defensively.
"I know that you aren't drunk but I think that you've had enough; you're a grown woman so I'll fix you a drink if you insist but if you do drink more I'm not letting you leave here until you've slept it off."
"I don't have to put up with your condescending attitude; you aren't my father," Francine yelled at Lee and began to stand unsteadily.
"No, I'm not your father or anyone else's," Lee said sadly as he jumped up to steady Francine. "What I am is your closest friend and I'm worried about you; please sit down and let me make some coffee for both of us," Lee said as Francine allowed herself to be pushed back down onto the sofa.
"I'll take you up on your offer of coffee as long as Amanda's cookies are still part of the offer but before you go I want to ask you a very serious question," Francine said as she looked at Lee intently. "I can see that you've gotten very close to Amanda's boys but does it ever bother you that you don't have a child of your own?"
"Amanda's cookies are still part of my offer; excuse me for a couple of minutes so I can get the coffee started," Lee replied and then left the room without addressing Francine's more serious question. Francine remained seated on the sofa and considered Lee's abrupt exit from the room. What's wrong with me? The only real comfort I gave Michael was in bed and now I've upset Lee when he was trying to be my friend. Francine got up and went after Lee who she found measuring scoops of coffee grounds.
"You're a good friend, I'm sorry that I've been acting like a jerk, and I'm sorry that I upset you," Francine said sincerely.
"Don't worry about it; you've put up with much worse behavior from me," Lee answered but he continued preparing their snack without looking at Francine.
"Lee, I really am sorry that I upset you-"
"I'm not upset; everything is fine," Lee insisted as he placed Amanda's cookies on a plate and walked towards the living room with Francine right behind him.
"I know you too well to believe that; I shouldn't have asked you such a potentially painful question. I was caught up in thinking about why Michael is so thrown by becoming a father and I didn't consider how different his situation is from your situation with Amanda."
"Are you telling me that you're having his baby," Lee demanded as Amanda let herself into the apartment with her key.