A/N Thanks to people who reviewed, much appreciated, (especially Arwen, because I didn't even have to pressgang you into writing it!)(And yes Kat, I know that aftum means kitchen in Wulcan)

Hope you like this part…

…..

The entire ship shook, and everyone was thrown to the floor, and then the Klingon warbird disappeared off the sensors.

"Keptin, they hawe re-actiwated their cloaking dewice. They seem to hawe to de-cloak to fire. Should we actiwate Emergency Procedure 24601?"

The 'Keptin' had a puzzled expression as he tried to remember which one that was.

What with the tribbles and the engine failure, nearly everyone had forgotten about the four Ensigns who had still not been put in the brig, and it was Ensign Tang who remembered that Emergency Procedure 24601 involved firing tribbles at the Klingons as soon as they de-cloak to fire. She said this and also mentioned that it was fortunate about the tribble they had brought along, because otherwise there would be no ammo. At this point, Commander Spock went bright green, as Vulcans tend to do when they are embarrassed. The captain looked at him and enquired "are you all right Mr. Spock, you look a little…"he waved his hand around his face "…well, a little green."

"May I remind you captain, that Vulcans have green blood, therefore it is perfectly logical for my face to be green."

Dr McCoy, who had been standing on the bridge for quite some time now exclaimed "Dammit Jim, are you blind - he's EMBARRASSED! About what, I can't say, but I think it could be something to do with tribbles." The Vulcan's face went even greener. He was getting rather fidgety now, and he stepped forward to the captain's chair, arms behind his back and said "I am forced to admit that the doctor is right. I-er, I keep a tribble in my quarters. For scientific purposes of course." He added this last sentence rather hurriedly.

Kirk laughed and laughed, he fell off his chair laughing, and rolled around on the floor, and the doctor had to restrain him from laughing any more in case he choked or something like that. Not that that would have been a bad thing, the doctor mused, before thinking, Oh damn, I took that hippopotamus oath thingy which means I can't let him die. Shame really. He mentally kicked himself.

Still chuckling, Jim pulled himself back into his chair and looked at his first officer. Yes! He had been waiting to do this for ages - now was the perfect opportunity.

"Spock, you lied. You went on about how it was perfectly logical for your face to be green, when you were actually embarrassed about a tribble!"

"No, Captain. I merely implied."

But Kirk was getting into the swing of things now.

"Yes Spock, but Vulcans don't believe in imps because they are illogical or something like that, and if you take the 'imp' away from 'implies', what do you get? Lies, Spock, lies, lies, lies! You can't deny it Spocky Wocky. Vulcans lie."

Spock then demonstrated the well-practised art of the 'face palm'.

"Your logic is illogical, Captain. Now if you will excuse me, I have a job to be doing." With that, the Vulcan returned to his station and glared at his controls. Those controls were very lucky that Vulcan death glares can't actually kill, because otherwise they would have started smoking immediately. Chekov and Sulu exchanged incredulous glances before smiling and looking back down at their own controls.

Kirk recovered from the Vulcan telling off soon enough and used the ship's intercom to talk to Scotty.

"Mr Scott, how are you doing with the engines?"

"Engines all fixed Sir, but dilithium crystals are very low - we're down to the last couple and they won't last much longer."

"Alright Scotty. We'll have to stop off at the nearest planet. Anyways, do we still have firing capabilities?"

"Aye, Sir. What would you be needing them for, Captain?"

"Actiwa- sorry, activate Emergency Procedure 24601."

"But Captain Kirk, we have no tribbles!"

"Yes we d-" He looked around to find the tribbles gone.

"This is the Captain. Security alert. Search all decks for tribbles, especially near the food replicators and storage compartment. They could be anywhere. When they have been found, take them to Mr. Scott who will be in Engineering. Kirk out."

…

A/N You may be wondering: Why not just feed Spock's pet tribble and be done with it?

There are two reasons for not doing this:

1) Nobody had thought of that

(or at least, I hadn't until I wrote the rest of the story).

2) It would kinda make the story a bit too short, and anyway - who doesn't

think that they should have just got the Eagles to fly over Mount Doom and

drop the ring in?

(Lord of the Rings - awesome, so no offence to Tolkein meant here)

3) (idea courtesy of Kat) all tribbles on board the Enterprise are neutered to

prevent tribble explosions

Final part coming when it has been typed up…

Anyways, reviews are nice, so please press the button…

…you know you want to…