A/N Sorry that this chapter took a while to get up, it was due to a lack of reviews from somebody, not mentioning any names, Arwen Demmar-Waters, and not glaring pointedly at anybody in particular, especially not Arwen Demmar-Waters…
Anyway, rant over. Final part here goes. Enjoy…
Kirk was tired. He kept dosing off in his chair and so he had ordered Chekov to poke/slap/kick/prod/do anything else to wake him up if he did fall asleep, but still… He decided to return to his quarters.
The door opened, and Jim walked in and flopped down on his bed, hoping for a nice comfy snooze. He was instead greeted by a familiar indignant squeal as he lay down on a huge pile of tribbles. It is not known how he didn't see them there as he entered his quarters, but, he didn't. Anyway, he took the tribbles down to engineering where Scotty fixed them into their harnesses to go into the TFM (Tribble Firing Mechanism). Star Fleet came up with such original names…Kirk returned to the bridge and cancelled the security alert.
"Mr. Scott, are the tribbles ready for firing?"
"Aye Cap'n they are, the wee things."
"Mr Sulu, lock on target. Fire on my command."
…
The Klingon commander was getting bored.
"They were supposed to fire back, not just sit there! We may have to fire again. I do like it when they try to fight back - it makes for such good entertainment. Prepare to fire on the Federation vessel. Ok. FIRE!"
Back on the Enterprise, Chekov caught sight of the enemy ship and yelled "Keptin, The Klingons hawe deactiwated the cloaking dewice. Should we fire the tribbles?"
"Right away Chekov."
The sewenteen year old Russian genius poked Sulu who fired at the Klingons just as the Klingons fired at the Enterprise. The ship shook like crazy, but it was nothing compared to the reaction coming from the Klingon warbird - you could have heard that scream for miles!
"Mr Sulu, Warp Factor three. We're leaving."
"But captain, we have an almost critical level of power." And as if to prove the helmsman's point, the lights cut out and so did all the power.
"Scotty - get us outta here!
"I can't captain. Dilithium crystals are all gone. We can't do anything." Everyone on the bridge turned to stare at the captain as best they could with no lighting.
"Captain, I-"
"Not now, Spock. I'm thinking." Ensigns Richards and Richards (Immy and Kat) butted in with a quick "You can think?" This got a few laughs, but only half-heartedly, as most of the crew were all slightly pre-occupied by their impending doom.
"Captain."
"No Spock."
"Jim! I just wanted to say that-"
"Spock, SHUT UP!"
"I KEEP DILITHIUM CRYSTALS IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER!"
Everyone now turned to stare at what the thought was Spock (It was hard to tell in the dark) and laughed. The half-Vulcan was probably turning bright green for the second time that day…
"Well Mr. Spock," said Kirk, falling out of his chair laughing, again (although, this time, nobody noticed; they were so busy laughing themselves), "you will have to go get them and take them down to Scotty, unless you want me to do that for you…" This sent the Ensigns, who had still not been put in the brig, sprawling across the floor laughing their heads off at the thought of James T. Kirk, Captain of the Starship Enterprise rifling through his First Officer's drawers.
Anyway, said First Officer went and got the crystal, gave them to the chief Engineer (who wired them in and got the Enterprise back up and running again), and came back up to the bridge, where nobody mentioned the fact that he had a tribble on his head.
Nobody ever mentioned the incident again, except for Kirk, many years later, who was subsequently Vulcan nerve-pinched. Very painfully.
A/N Sorry, forgot to mention at the start that yes Kat, I know, ka-ranj-i means cactus. Based on a logical assumption, I looked up all Vulcan words that you were likely to say, and cactus was top of the list. You're going to have to try harder than that next time…
To the world in general: If you are reading this, then I thank you. You have made it to the end of one of my stories. There will be cookies for you if you press the review button. Or maybe muffins. Whichever you prefer. Whichever you are having, you have to press the review button first. You know you want to…