DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT

A/N: this is a little short but it has some mother daughter bonding in it :) READ AND REVIEW come on guys, if you can click ADD TO FAVORITES or STORY ALERTS i'm sure it won't kill you to write at least a sentence!

I'm numb. I've been curled up in my bed for the past nine months. I hardly ever come out. It's like I'm not alive with out him. I want to die too. But I have this baby inside of me. So once I deliver it, I'll give it to my parents. It will be their reminder of me. I will die. To be with my Jacob.

I heard someone at the door. "Come in." I said blankly.

My mother walked in and sat next to me on my bed. "You do know you're due any day now?" She smiled, I just nodded, of course I knew. I meant any day I'd see Jacob. "Do you have any names yet?"

I looked down at the perfectly shaped bump that was hidden under my blanket. "Ow. It's kicking." I winced. "It's strong like him." I said vaguely.

"You didn't answer my question. And why don't you want to know the gender?" My mom asked curiously.

I put some thought into it. "Well, I like surprises. And I do have names. Mary Elizabeth. Mary for Aunt Alice. Elizabeth, for Dad's biological mother. And Anthony Jacob for a boy. Anothony because it was Dad's middle name, and... and... J-J-Ja." I looked down and blushed, oh no, the tears started coming.

"Honey, it's okay to be sad." My mother cooed. "How about I finish the story about me and your dad. I should start over. You missed some parts." I nodded. "Okay so we first met, and I thought he hated me. He looked at me and I thought I smelled bad. But I learned later it was just the opposite." She smiled. "We eventually, fell in love. One of my favorite moments in my life was when he took me to the meadow." She smiled. I remember when I thought me and Jacob would be in love like my parents, but now that would never happen. "It was the first time we kissed.

"Shortly after that, I met the family and we played baseball. And then the nomads came, you know all that. Then my eighteenth birthday rolled around. I got a paper cut, and Jasper almost attacked me. Your dad had to push me away. And I hurt my arm really bad. He felt responsible for it so he thought that by being with me, I'd only get hurt, or worse. So he left." My mom looked down took a breath. I knew it was hard to tell me this part. "The whole family left. I was alone. I was so sad. I really thought Edward didn't love… Me. So then I started hanging out with Jacob again. He became my best friend. But during that was when the werewolf thing started. He promised one time that we could go cliff diving. He was late. But I didn't care I decided to jump anyway. I was so excited. That ended up being the worst decision of my life." Cliff diving I thought to myself. That seems peaceful. You can't scream. It wouldn't be that bad of a way to die. "Turns out, it's a lot harder than it looks. I hit my head and couldn't swim. That's when I saw Victoria in the water. She was the mate of the vampire that attacked me. She came to take revenge. Since your dad killed him she thought it was fair to kill me. I started sinking. But then Jake pulled me out of the water. He dropped me off at my house. Turns out Alice saw of vision of me jumping. She thought I killed myself. She told Rosalie. But Rosalie told your father. He went to the volturi. He wanted to die. And that's how they found out about me. He came back, he told me he lied. That he really did love me. But he thought I would get hurt. They all came back." She smiled again.

"One time I was hanging out with Jake and he kissed me. I punched him. Turns out werewolves are really… hard. I broke my wrist. Your dad found out, and he was livid. But then we graduated. We found out that there was a newborn army. That was sent here to kill me." She laughed. "Your dad asked me to marry him. I said yes of course. Then the fight came. Edward killed Victoria. We would be happy now.

"Then came time to tell Charlie we were getting married. He was a little freaked but could tell it was coming. We got married. Then we had you." She smiled at me. "Then you remember the rest" a pause, "Ness I lost him too. I know it's not the same, but I did love Jacob. You know we are worried about you. Everyone, especially your father. If Jacob was here, he wouldn't want you to be like this." She stood up. "I guess I should leave now."

She stood up and kissed my forehead, and then she left.

I rested my head on my knees, and let the tears fall.

I couldn't be sad anymore, for everyone. For Uncle Emmett. Jasper. Alice. Rosalie. Esme. Carlisle. Charlie. Renee. Mom. Dad. Baby no name. For Jacob.

I would suck it up, and be alive again, until I decided it was time.

It would be easier for my family to remember me happy, and not sad.

I won't shed another tear about this.

a/n: so how did you like that? a little stroll on memory lane for Bella. FAVORITE! STORY ALERT! and of course REVIEW!