DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT

A/N: omygosh. this has nothing to do with the story, but I decided to tell you guys. last night, I had the best dream EVER! I was turned into a vampire, and the Cullens took me in. And Bella, Alice, and I went hunting. It was the coolest dream in the world! But then I woke just before I caught a wolf (how ironic!) and I was like NOOOOOOOOO!

I'm really proud of this chapter, so have fun reading! Oh and check out my profile to vote in the poll!

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The party continued into everyone one singing 'Happy Birthday" and stuffing their faces with cake, well the one's who could.

Then everyone went back to doing what they were before.

I was dancing with AJ in my arms. He kept telling me about his night. He asked me to show daddy. My heart shattered a little bit at that.

I raised my hand, and rested it on his face. Like he always did, Anthony loved it when I showed him Jacob.

Then I heard him say something. "I wish he was here, momma."

This brought tears in my eyes. "Me too baby, me too." I fought back the tears threatening to fall.

Then a low voice interrupted us.

"May I cut in?" I looked up to find Seth looking at AJ. He nodded, and struggled out of my arms. He ran to Mom and Dad.

I wiped my eyes quickly.

Seth held out his arms. "Care to dance?"

I nodded, a big goofy grin on my face. It was a slow song too.

We started dancing.

"So um… I… uh… imprinted on someone." He said after a few minutes.

I looked over at my parents.

Their faces were a mix between happiness and sadness.

Hearing Seth say that he imprinted on someone really hurt me. If my heart wasn't already broken now, it definitely was beyond repair.

Did I like him?

I couldn't like him. My heart went with Jacob when he died. It belongs with him.

"Cool." I said. I could feel the disappointment on my face.

"On you." He said softly.

I could feel my heart stop.

I stopped dancing, as I really realized what he just said. My heart started racing.

"What?" I asked.

He just nodded.

"And Jacob didn't kill you?" I asked. I could feel my insides splitting apart when I said the name.

"Believe me it was hard to hide it from him. He almost caught me actually. Last year, when I asked you out." The memory replayed in my head.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.

"Because you were in love with him. Still are." I looked down ashamed.

I stared into his eyes again. I could feel my already bright pink cheeks blushing.

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his quickly.

"Well have you ever thought maybe I liked you?" I whispered with a smile on my face.

The song ended and I got out of his grasp.

As I started walking away, he still had a shocked expression on his face. I laughed internally at that.

Renesmee, you shouldn't be happy, the love of your life is dead. I thought to myself.

I approached my parents, and picked up AJ.

I thought of what Jacob would say.

"Jacob would say that you should be happy." My dad's voice boomed above me.

I sighed. "I know Dad."

He stared at me. "Then why do you beat yourself up over this. I know you like Seth." He whispered.

"Because, I'm afraid of getting hurt again." I realized the truth of my own words.

"Nessie, he's not going to hurt you."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Yeah, well that's what Jacob said, and now he's dead." I put Anthony down and ran out the door onto the front porch.

I sat down on the steps, shaking with my sobs.

I heard the door open.

"Go away!" I said bluntly.

I heard little footsteps. Little arms wrapped around my neck.

"Be happy momma." AJ's voice said sweetly.

"I am." I said.

He walked and sat in my lap.

He looked up at me with incredulous eyes. "No your not!"

I smiled. I had the most adorable son in the world.

I scooped him up into his arms, and cradled him close.

"You want mama to tell you about daddy, for real? Not just showing?"

He smiled, and nodded.

I began. "Your daddy and I were best friends for a long time. I've never had a friend better than him. He was always there for me. He was very thoughtful. Very nice. Whenever I looked into his eyes I could tell how much he loved me. I just wish he was around to love you." I highly doubted that Anthony would remember all of this in a couple hours.

"Why can't I have him?" He asked.

I froze at that.

"I don't know." I whispered. Then I blurted out, "Do you like Seth?"

"You mean Seff? Ya."

I laughed, a smile playing on my lips.

"Good so do I."

Then AJ yelled, "Weah!" He started fidgeting in my arms.

I turned around and saw Leah standing behind us. I swallowed down a growl that threatened to come out.

Anthony ran to Leah, she looked at me with a small smile on her lips. "Someone wants to talk to you." She said quietly. She walked back inside with AJ trailing behind her.

Then I saw a figure walk out.

He sat beside me.

"Hey Ness." Seth said.

"Hi." I muttered. I felt my heart flutter.

I got a good look at him. He has changed so much. He looks a lot older than his real age, which is like 20. He was also very strong looking, even bigger than how Jacob looked before he…

I shaked that thought aside.

I broke the silence. "So um, are you going to be around a lot now that…" I lead off.

His eyes widened. "Only if you want me to."

I instantly blurted out a "Yes!" And my cheeks turned red. "I mean, yes I want you to be around." I smiled.

"That's… great." He said. We both laughed. "Tell me what you are thinking."

"I'm thinking about us." I admitted. "And how I'm not ready to really be in anything right now." His head hung a little. "Not that I don't like you, but…"

He shook his head. "Renesmee, I understand. Besides, when you imprint on somebody, you're whatever they need you to be. Like you need me to be your friend, and that's what I'm going to be." He smiled a dazzling smile.

I nodded. "Let's get inside." We went into the house.

An hour later, most everyone left, except Zafrina.

She was staying until tomorrow.

Seth was the last to leave.

I was holding AJ when I said goodbye.

"Bye Ness, Bye Anthony." He said.

"Goodbye." I replied with a wave.

AJ was on the very verge on sleep. "Buh-bye…" He closed his eyes for minute, a little snore came out of his mouth. His eyes shot open again. "Ungle Seff…" He said slowly. His eyes shut again.

Seth and I both laughed quietly.

He went out the door.

I turned around.

Alice had most of the cleaning done.

I rolled my eyes, and smiled. I saw my parents on the couch. Kissing.

"Eww. Get a room." I muttered.

They pulled apart, smiles on both their faces.

They followed me out to the cottage. I stopped in front of my bedroom door.

They went into their's. I could practically hear their clothes being ripped off. I shuddered. AJ stirred, I went into my room, and set him down on my bed. It was probably more comfortable than his crib.

I climbed into bed, and his face was nestled into my neck.

I fell into a peaceful sleep with my child in my arms.

A dream invaded thoughts.

Jacob and I were sitting on the beach. My head resting on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around me.

"Renesmee, why can't you be happy?" He asked.

"Because you're not here." I've told him this a million times.

"And I'm not coming back."

I shrugged and snuggled closer to him. "I know."

"You like him, Ness." He stated.

"I know that too."

"Don't worry about me."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, I can't."

"You have to let go." He whispered.

"Won't happen."

"You're gonna have to eventually." He said softly.

"Nope." I said making a popping noise on the 'p'.

"You are persistant just like your mother." He smiled. "So how was AJ's party?"

I smiled too. "Great. He had a great time. He asked about you a lot too. Oh and guess what?"

He smiled even more. "He asked about me?" I nodded. He laughed a little. "And what?"

"I found out Leah imprinted on him!" I exclaimed. I felt like an old lady gossiping.

He growled a little. "Figures."

"I'm going to wake up soon." I said vaguely.

He made a loud sigh. "Alright. I love you." He kissed me lightly.

"Love you too." I replied.

"Don't forget to tell Anthony I love him."

I smiled. "Jacob, I've never forgotten."

He smiled, "I know, and make sure to let go."

I whispered, "I don't know how." As I felt the dream slipping away.

My eyes were still closed even though I was awake now.

I've had dreams like this one for the past six months at least, when I really realized that Jacob was never going to come back. I really liked these dreams because it seemed as if I was really talking to him. Maybe I was. I don't know. Or maybe I was just insane. It kind of reminded me of how my mom used to have hallucinations of my dad, when he left.

I thought back to the last thing I said. It was true. I didn't know how to let go of him.

"Momma?" I opened my eyes to see AJ with a huge smile on his face. My hand was on his face.

No fair, he placed it there. He saw my entire dream.

"I wove him too." He whispered.

I just shrugged. "He knows."

a/n: I love aj! he's sooo adorable! lol... Yes poor Renesmee. She very confused...

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