The stage was black apart from a single white spot. A lone figure stood head bowed in the centre, hair hanging down hiding her face. The pale dress in the pale light washed all warmth from the scene. Then the piano started.

"Young girl don't cry, I'll be right here when your world starts to fall…"

Casey drew a wide circle on the ground in front of her with her bare right toe and leaned her head to rotate in the same direction before lightly stepping back one step and repeating the circle with her left big toe, this time taking her left arm out in a wide sweeping gesture. She copied the movement with her right arm and stepped into her following movements lightly and with confidence.

It was simple, unadorned, textbook ballet. Her arms formed the classic positions with faultless accuracy and her legs stretched and moved with grace and beauty across the stage. Each step was more complicated than the last, yet the movement seemed effortless, her face serene and contemplative.

"Noone ever wants or bothers to explain… Of the heartache life can bring and what it means…" and then she wasn't alone on the stage anymore.

Behind Casey, dressed in plain black, stepped Trevor, no longer the brash Brit, but instead the graceful male dancer ready to lift his charge as required while Casey took the dance to a new level for the chorus.

"When there's no one else, look inside yourself, like your oldest friend just trust the voice within…"

Like the rest of their family, Derek watched Casey, but he doubted that their minds were as affected as his. He could remember holding her like that, lifting her dancer's form. He could remember the lightness of her breath as she danced, the way her perfume warmed and clouded his senses. She was beautiful, he already knew that. She was graceful, he knew that too. But there was so much more to Casey.

Once she had been his…and he had let her go. He should have fought harder, longer.

He should have…his mind wandered…

And then as quickly as it had begun, the dance was over.

The audience on the screen erupted with cheers and seconds later so did the shocked audience at home.

All except Derek.

"Are you okay, Smerek?" Marti asked.

"Erm…bathroom." He said and dashed from the room.

In the dubious sanctuary of the bathroom he splashed water in his face and struggled to pull his mind back from the edge. Images of the last fifteen years were racing through his brain like street racers bent on destruction. He wasn't sure which one was going to cause the pile up but he knew it was going to happen.

Casey lying beside him in bed giggling. "We should have done that sooner."

"I agree. It was far healthier than the whole pink and blue sticky tape business."

"Oh come on! That tape was an act of genius, Derek. It kept us from fighting that night."
"Really? Maybe the only thing it kept us from doing was this. Hell that would have been a shock for the 'rents when they got home."

"You're kidding me?" She had sat up in surprise then, the sheets falling from her naked body and he groaned audibly. She laughed and covered herself up. "Sorry."

"For what?" He smirked and grabbed her pulling her back down into the bed.

"Fuck!" Derek muttered hanging over the sink. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!"

He missed the judges' reaction.

"They said she was technically flawless!" Nora greeted him like a small child meeting Father Christmas when he returned. "They said it was emotional but poised and one of them even used the word "exquisite"."

Derek smiled, but Lizzie saw the sadness had returned to his eyes.

They sat and watched Chloe's dance. Trevor had been right about the contrast. Where Casey had been virginal white, Chloe was in a red fur-trimmed satin robe which she removed half way through 'Ain't No Other Man' to reveal a red satin corset with matching garter. Lizzie snorted something about one-upping even Christina and Robbie laughed.

The performance was okay…good even, but like Trevor had predicted it was mainly skirt-swishing and strutting. The audience loved it but the judges thought it was only okay. Unfortunately, the audience vote counted.

Derek had sighed with frustration when the film from earlier in the week revealed that Chloe had stated she particularly chose the song because of Derek.

When was she going to get the message?

"We should phone Casey!" Nora announced.

George shook his head. "We can't. She'll still be doing stuff for the cameras."

"Besides, Mom, her phone is broken, remember?" Lizzie pointed out.
"Broken?" Derek queried.

Lizzie nodded. "Casey had a Klutzilla moment with it the night before she went on the show. Apparently, it ended up in a thousand pieces."

Derek went cold.

The night before she went to join the show would be the night that he tried to call her. Why did he get the feeling that the Klutzilla moment was all his fault? Did she pick up the phone to answer it and then when she saw who it was…?

"I should go." He said quickly before he totally lost it in front of his family.

"I thought you were going to stay." Nora said, surprised.

"I've got early morning practice." He lied. He had a practice tomorrow but it wasn't early.

Nora shrugged. "Okay. Will we see you tomorrow night for part two?"

He froze on his way to the door. "Erm…I think I have plans tomorrow night." Another lie.

"Plans?" This time it was George. "Derek? Are you okay?"

"No. Not really." He said and pushed his way to the door.

He hadn't been home more than ten minutes when his doorbell rang. Derek cursed loudly and crossed the floor to open it.

"Hi Smerek!" Marti skipped into the foyer looking like the six year old she used to be and not the college girl she was.

"Smarts, now is not a good time, okay?"

She smiled. "I know it isn't. You want to wallow in self-pity and disgust." His little sister started to remove her coat. "Mind if I join you?"

He groaned and led the way into the den.

"You know…" She said half an hour later as they were sprawled on the sofas, surrounded by potato chips and snacks. "…Nora never really did give up that healthy eating thing, did she? I mean, she gives good dinners but…sometimes I just want me some starch and refined sugar."

Derek rolled his eyes. "You channelling fifteen year old Derek, there kid?"
Marti smirked. "Nah. I don't have a Casey."

Her brother snorted. "Neither do I."

"What was tonight all about?" Marti asked softly.

"Casey's finest hour?"

"but not yours."

"I think my finest hours are all behind me." He said honestly. "All I do right now is screw things up."

"There is no such thing as screwing up when it's family, D."

"I don't see Casey as family, Marti."

"Why?"

"You know why."

Marti shrugged. "So Nora doesn't think of Dad as family?"

"That's different."

"No it isn't. Loving someone doesn't mean they can't be family too. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to love your family."

"Marti…"

"Derek, do us all a favour, okay? Stop it with the emo shit and be friends with Casey again. The fam and I? We don't care whether you get your act together and date or not, we want you to just talk to your best friend Derek. You're the only people who can handle each other."

"I tried talking to her. I tried phoning her."

"And?"

"And it was the night before she joined the programme. The night of her Klutzilla incident with her phone." He said pointedly.

"Oh!" Marti frowned. "You think she destroyed the phone because you tried to call?"

"Maybe."

Marti sighed. "Derek. Does that sound like Casey? No. Of course not. If Casey had a problem with you trying to phone her she'd answer and tell you in no uncertain terms. Smashing a cell phone because someone called is more your sort of thing."

"So how did she break her phone?"

Marti frowned. "I don't know."

It appeared his sister was planning on staying the night. She produced a bag from the trunk of her car and asked where she was sleeping, and because she was the second most important person in the world, he showed her to the spare room rather than throw her out. (I.e. the real spare room which had never been his bedroom, and which had no trace in it of either of his paramours.)

"ooo!" Smarti giggled. "This is amazing! How come you never gave me this room before?"

"Dad and Nora usually stay here when you all come to visit." He answered and pointed across the landing. "I'm just across the hall if you need me."

"I thought your bedroom was the other end of the house."
"Only while Chloe was around. The one opposite was originally my bedroom, and I prefer it. It was the reason I bought the house. Because of the flowers." Marti looked confused. Derek smiled sadly. "Casey liked the flowers."

Marti went with Derek to his practice the following day. It was nice to have the support and he played well for once, prompting the coach to tell him that if he played like that at the mid-week practice he would consider picking him for the game the following Saturday. Despite himself and the situation with Casey, Derek grinned broadly all the way home.

"See." Marti said, looking over at him across the car. "Positive mental attitude. Now if you can only be that way with my sister…"

"She's not your sister, Marti."

"She can be my sister without being yours Derek. You think too much!"

Derek stared at her and then laughed. "Yup. Definitely channelling teenaged Derek."

They grinned companionably at each other.

"Which means you must be hungry…lunch?"

Marti nodded enthusiastically.

"Good. I've found a decent burger place where they find me a corner the paps don't know about. Let's go."

A parcel arrived for Casey on Saturday. It was from Angela and came with a note.

"New cell phone as requested. They transferred your old SIM across so the number is the same and you haven't lost your address books and stuff. Try not to do that again. They had a job getting the SIM out of the wreckage without damaging it. They told me to tell you the call you missed because it broke was from Derek. Take that as a good sign and call him back. PLEASE!

Good luck tonight. Any chance of a heads up as to what you are wearing/going to sing?

Ange X"

Casey smiled and started to open the package. Angela was good to her. Too good. She didn't feel she deserve her as an agent, let alone as such a good friend. She was slightly unnerved by the news that it had been Derek trying to phone her. She wondered how she would have reacted if he had succeeded in reaching her – and what he would have said.

The new phone was a dark purple blackberry and looked really stylish. Her old phone had been very old – old enough to have pictures of Derek pre-Chloe and fortunately it appeared they had remained on her SIM card rather than the phone memory. She flicked through them sadly. It was getting harder not easier to be away from him.

The four months they had spent apart before they slept together was nothing on what it had been like to be apart for two years, and the pain of that separation was nothing to how she felt now after just a few weeks distance– even though it had been Casey that walked away. She wasn't handling it well. Her writing was suffering with her pen automatically describing characters that looked and sounded like Derek.

And when she was rehearsing with Trevor and Harriet her mind wandered constantly.

It had been particularly bad rehearsing with Harriet. The English lady had picked Casey's song and she had accidentally picked a song which resonated on so many levels. The first few times Casey found herself getting so into the song she absent-mindedly changed the words when she sang. Now she did it deliberately.

"You did it again." Harriet admonished. "It's "since you've been away" not "since I've been away"."

"Sorry. I just get…"

"Wrapped up in the song?"

Casey nodded.

"Do the lyrics have meaning for you?" Harriet asked.

"Yes."

"Fine!" Harriet announced. "Sing them the way you want to. It's all about your interpretation anyway."

Casey's face cleared. "Really?" she looked pleased. This was exactly what she had wanted: to be able to sing her words.

Harriet bit back a question. They weren't alone. The cameras were recording the rehearsal which had been moved to a bigger rehearsal room so that there was room.

"I think you get the grief across well." Harriet said. "And I think that Trevor's costume choice will work."

"Grief? I've always thought it was more about "loss" than just grief." Casey said fiddling with the necklace about her neck. She glanced over at the cameras and decided to change the subject. "How was my tuning on that sticky bit?"

Harriet followed Casey up to her bedroom after the filming.

"Can we talk?" She asked quietly, not wanting anyone to know that she was there. Casey nodded and jerked her head towards the room. They entered and Harriet went to sit at the little chair provided at the vanity table, making sure the door was shut.

"Casey, are you okay singing this song? Only it seems incredibly personal to you, and I'm worried you won't be able to go through with it."

Casey sat down hard on the edge of her bed.

"It's not an easy song to sing, but…" She paused. "It's cathartic."

"I don't understand."

"Derek and I aren't talking to each other. We had a massive argument several weeks ago and I told him I never wanted to see him again."

"But you regret it?" Harriet said, suddenly understanding more because she knew the lyrics. Casey nodded.

"I regret it. My family think I should try calling him but I'm scared to. What if I hurt him so much that he won't take me back…as a friend." She added quickly, aware that Harriet didn't know about the romantic aspect of their relationship.

"Does he talk to your family?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you think that they would advise you to speak to him if they thought it would make the situation worse than it is?"

"I know, I know. It's just…God! It's all so complicated."

Harriet smiled. "You know, maybe this song business is a good thing then. Maybe you can get the message across in the words of the song."

Casey smiled ruefully. "Maybe."

"I've been meaning to ask you." Marti started, as they sat waiting for the programme to begin. "That comment Chloe made about the parking lot…"

Derek spluttered his beer across his lap.

"Absolutely nothing to do with me!" He insisted. "Seriously, if I cared at all about her, we'd be arguing about that because clearly she has been with some other hockey guy – probably someone else on the team. I wonder if it was Nigel? Nah! He's definitely gay."

"You're not into outdoor sex?" Marti asked casually. Derek stared at his little sister in horror.

"Oh come on Derek, I'm not six anymore." She laughed.

"Smarts, I wouldn't discuss something like that with Sam and he's the same age as me."

"You didn't answer the question."

"I know I didn't." he said and sipped his beer. "I wouldn't do that…with Chloe."

"Why not?"

Derek fidgeted. "She's a screamer."

"Oh…" Marti said and then when the realisation kicked in. "Ew! TMI!"

Derek laughed. "You asked!"

"Let me get this straight. She's getting up in front of the world and singing a song which she has told the world is about a sex session with you and you've never had sex in a parking lot with her?"

"Yup!"

"Classic!" Marti said, and swigged her own beer. "Which begs the question…" She smirked at him. "Who would you do outdoor sex for?"

"Smarti…"

Before he could say anything, Chloe broke dramatically onto the stage dressed in a black and red corset and started to gyrate wildly whilst belting out the words to Dirrty.

"Holy mother of Bart!" Marti exclaimed. "Where's the bleach?"

Even Derek sat there with his mouth open.

He had to hand it to Chloe. She certainly appealed to the male section of the population with her performance. It barely conformed to the television watchdog's guidelines for viewing at that time of night.

The trouble for Chloe was it didn't appeal to Derek. It might have done once, but he had outgrown his teenage hormones a long time ago, and the presence of a certain step-sister in his life – and his bed- had changed his viewpoint on a lot of things. The hold Chloe had had over him had been fleeting and temporary. And it was over.

When the action on stage was also over, there was silence in Derek's den.

"Nice." Derek said, his tone belying his words.

"Ahem…if you like that sort of thing." Marti agreed. They glanced at each other and giggled. "Fuck Derek! You don't half pick 'em!" she said, using a phrase she had picked up from one of her friends at university.

"If I ever look at someone like that again" Derek said. "Shoot me."

They listened to the judges' comments which were largely complimentary (they were nearly all male) although they did call her out on her tuning, and Chloe forgot the words at one point. Chloe was going to win again tonight – before Casey even got on the stage.

"Casey'll be up soon." Marti commented.

"Hmm." Derek said all non-committal.

"I didn't recognise the song from the small snippets during rehearsals."

"No. me neither."

"Nervous?"

"Yes."
"For you or for her?"
He smiled. "Both."

There was no razzmatazz to Casey's performance. The piano played, she appeared – dressed simply in black- and she sang. It was striking, it was poignant…it was perfect.

"Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face. You told me how proud you were but I walked away." She sang and crossed to a strategically placed bench where she could sit. "I would hold you in my arms. I would take the pain away. Thank you for all you've done. Forgive all your mistakes. There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again. Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there. I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by blaming you."

Casey sang on. "Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking out for me? Are you proud of who I am? There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance to look into your eyes and see you looking back."

Marti gasped and grabbed Derek's hand. He glanced at her.

"What?"

"Derek. Listen to the words. I know this song, she's changed the words. It's about you."

"I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself. If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much - that I've missed you since I've been away. Oh, it's dangerous, it's so out of line to try to turn back time. I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by hurting you."

Derek watched the face on the screen in disbelief at Marti's suggestion. Maybe the words did sort of fit them…if he believed that she regretted leaving him. But…

And then he watched as the close up revealed the tears begin to fall from Casey's eyes.

AN:

Casey's Dance = The Voice Within - C. Aguilera

Chloe's Dance = Ain't No Other Man - C.A.

Chloe's Song = Dirrty - C.A.

Casey's Song = Hurt - C.A.

if you don't know them, do Youtube them. It gives you a feel for the scene.