Sarah knocked on the doorway of the room Gloria was borrowing during her time at the Citadel. Gloria didn't acknowledge her, so she let herself in.
"Gloria," Her voice was strong, yet gentle at the same time.
Gloria blinked, still staring at the ground, "You know, I actually didn't hate him. I was so mad, but I didn't hate him."
Sarah sat down next to her, pulling Gloria into her chest and wrapping her arms around the other's significantly smaller frame. She'd lost weight in the past three weeks she stayed with her.
"I know. He knows… knew it too."
Gloria exhaled, leaning her head on Sarah's collarbone, "You're warm."
"You're starving yourself."
"It's not like I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything."
"Don't say that, you deserve the world."
Gloria laughed, dangerously close to a scoff, "Whatever. I don't care anymore."
"I got a message from a trader; says Moira misses you and needs you to return your friend's call."
Gloria didn't bother lifting her head, but instead lifted her gaze to Sarah's face, "What?"
She handed Gloria a torn piece of paper, and she unfolded it and sighed.
Things had gone to shit in Vault 101; The Overseer enforced stricter and unfair rules on the residents, which resulted in a rebellion. Whoever wasn't killed was going to be if Gloria didn't act fast.
While Vault 101 was no longer her home, she still had to protect Amata.
Everything she did was for her, she realized—well, almost everything.
She tossed the paper to the side, then stretched her arms over her head, grunting when her back popped and turned to Sarah, "Alright."
"You'll help them?"
"I have to. There's no one else who will."
She went back on her promise and spent the next week in Rivet City.
The sun was beginning to set, and the slightest of sunrays shined over the ruins in the distance, covering the sky with clouds of pink and red, purple and orange. Times in solitude were times spent drinking vodka and getting lost in her thoughts.
Gloria sat at the edge of the broken bow of Rivet City, where Pinkterton had set up her laboratory, legs dangling over the edge of the water, swinging back in forth gently. She waited for the scientist to finish Harkness' checkup; ever since she's told him he was an android, he'd been worried something would break. Of course, he wouldn't, but he would not believe her. So she would take him to the man who reset his memory and, well, she'd leave them to it.
She'd watch the waves lap against the boat, the sun set and get drunk. The only peaceful moments in her life.
The air was cool and she shivered due to the lack of clothing she wears. Her Vault 101 jumpsuit was barely enough to shield her from the cold, and with its rips and tears all around, barely holding together, it let the chilly evening air inside. Her fingers were the coldest, hanging onto a cold bottle of vodka like a lifeline, hoping it could make her forget.
Forget what?
She took another sip, then set it back in her lap as she watched the sunset.
It was beautiful, she thought.
"You sure can't get anything like this in the vault," She whispered to herself, "James would've loved this."
The drink wasn't working, but it sure as shit made her feel a whole lot better.
It made her remember the little things she would have forgotten for some reason. Reminiscing was something she was doing a lot lately, thinking about the past - what she could have done differently, what could have changed. Would her life be any better if one, tiny, insignificant thing never happened?
It was hard to remember when she was sober. She was filled with grief, thinking about her dad's face, his last dying words. It was difficult.
Alcohol made the feeling go away.
She could think about the good times. Her tenth birthday, every time Amata would smile at her...
She took another large gulp and winced.
She missed her dad so much.
She missed a lot of things.
Not fearing for her life, the comfort of knowing when and where her next meal was going to be, not having to sleep on the ground hovering between consciousness and unconsciousness...
She drank the rest of her vodka and threw the bottle over the edge.
She thought about following it to the bottom of the sea, letting the water wash over her so she never had to see daylight again.
Nothing would get those thoughts of her head. They were a constant darkness, sticking to her every part of her soul, slowly sucking the life out of her.
Depression was back, and so was the anorexia, and then there were the drugs. Med-X numbs the pain and Jet brings euphoria. Both of which she needed.
She hadn't noticed she was standing, toes hovering over the edge of the boat. The waves crashed against the bow below her, beckoning her to follow through, to jump and forget.
She had almost followed its call when someone grabbed her shoulder and pulled her away from the ledge. "Gloria, hey, don't do that." She didn't need to turn around to know it was Harkness.
"Why?"
"We need you here. I wouldn't be able to do my job without you."
He was right, but it was a shitty reason to not kill herself, but she sighed and accepted she'd live another day.
"Let's go home."
Home. She didn't have one; nothing felt like home anymore. Even if she was back in 101, in her small and cozy apartment, it would still feel like something—someone was missing.
She glanced to the Jefferson Memorial in the distance; there were vertibirds and ant-sized people rushing about. The Brotherhood hasn't been able to clear the Enclave out.
They needed her help, but there was no way she was mentally stable enough to do more work. So, she sat outside and drank and wished for death.
Harkness gently nudged her towards the stairwell, hoping to get her inside before she tries to hurt herself again.
"Gloria?" He asked when she wouldn't move. She grunted, shaking his hands off of her, "I don't have anywhere to go."
"You can sleep in the Common Room-"
"Fuck off, Harkness." She scoffed, then left without listening to his reply. She didn't need him to chastise her more.
She needed to do something to get her mind off of things. Everything.
She checked her Pip-Boy for some quests, and the first thing she had neglected to do was check out a strange transmission on the other side of the map.
Oh, well. It could be interesting.
Marking the location, she stood up, stumbling a little, and made her way down the stairs.
It was when she was teleported back to Earth, Gloria realized she needed a vacation.
Sure, being abducted by aliens, fighting said aliens with a cowboy, an army medic, some random scavenger, a Japanese samurai and a little girl was the best fun she's had since the incident at the Jefferson Memorial a week ago, but it was time to take a break.
Besides, Megaton was on the way back to the Citadel.
Dogmeat, a dog she picked up at a junkyard a day before she was so rudely abducted by aliens, was waiting for her when she got back to her house in Megaton. She was already tired and feeling sick from all the punga fruit she's eaten.
She took a quick shower, grabbed a meal that wasn't from another planet, and went to bed.
She slipped to the radio tab on her Pip-Boy to listen to some music before bed, but something looked wrong. There was another station. She turned it on.
"This is an automated distress message from Vault-Tec: Vault 101. Message begins" There was a robotic voice, then another voice- Amata's:
"It feels like you left home a long time ago, but I know you're still out there. I hope you're still alive to hear this. Things got worse after you left. My father's gone mad with power. Gloria, if you can hear this, please stop looking for your dad and help stop mine. I changed the door password to my name. If you're hearing this, and if you still care enough to help me, you should remember it."
Gloria switched off her radio, then sighed.
She promised Sarah she would help the Vault; plus, she left most of her belongings there and she would like to have them back.
A/N: (me, crying and listening to Island of the Misfit Boy by Front Porch Step) Yeah this is fine & very therapeutic I am having fun. (every Teen Angst Song I have on my ipod is about Gloria (and me))