Forgetting Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Matantei Loki

- - - -Chapter 9: Recalling Memories- - - -

What memories you wish to lose will never truly vanish. It is merely a mental action of locking away a past memory in your mind and one single thought of it will help trigger for all memories to be recalled.

~Carlos Cazeldo~

Whenever the sky was this perfect every time something wasn't right, Loki would sometimes curse to himself, wondering how come it never cooperated with his bad mood. It wasn't that the bright blue sky wasn't beautiful; it just didn't fit the gloomy and dark atmosphere around the mansion. Every part of the building was quiet, leaving the residence to do what they would usually do in peace.

Yamino was busy cleaning up the house with his spirit extremely low. Cleaning was one of the things he loved doing aside from cooking but he just didn't feel like it. Narugami was nowhere to be seen and they wondered where he could have gone. They thought he was just in a guest room, resting or sulking.

Idun, on the other hand, wondered when this unnecessary gloomy mood was ever going to go away. If she knew that this was going to happen and that she was going to be caught in the middle together with Yamino, then she shouldn't have asked Odin's permission to come here. She never knew that Loki and Thor were capable of having an argument. They were good friends. It didn't make sense. But deep in her mind, she knew it must be because of the mortal girl Verdandi told her about.

Her eyes settled upon the white wooden door in front of her that led to Loki's office. She needed to tell him something important but she was hesitating. Entering his office knowing he was in a bad mood, didn't feel right to her. But she had to tell him. It was Lord Odin's orders and so with a big intake of breath, she knocked softly.

"Come in." Loki's voice sounded from the other side of the door.

Idun placed her soft hand on the knob and twisted it slowly before pushing the door before her to see Loki facing the window, his back facing her. He's face couldn't be seen but she knew, even with his back facing her that he was hurt. The words that Thor said to him must have pierced him; so deep that he couldn't get it out of his mind. She closed the door behind her as quietly as she could.

"I have something to tell you." She started as she casually sat on the couch in front of his desk. "A message from Lord Odin."

Loki turned, giving his full attention to her. Idun couldn't help but stare at him for a moment, searching his face if there were any changes. His eyes… she could tell were filled with raging emotions. This was not the Loki that she knew all her life.

"A message?" he asked.

"Well, yes. It was supposed to be Verdandi or one of the Norn sisters to tell you but I asked Lord Odin if I could do it and while I'm at it, I could get to see Midgard for myself and check to see if all of you are okay." Idun explained, flipping her golden tresses over her shoulder.

"Speaking of coming here to Midgard, what do you think of this place?" Loki placed his chin on his palm for support, trying to make conversation. Idun didn't feel like talking casually to him. She wanted to get straight to the point.

She looked at him straight in the eye. "Lord Odin says he's satisfied with everything. He wants all of you to go home and I'm to escort you." She announced, waiting for Loki's sign of reaction. "I told Thor about it and he agreed."

"Oh, so where is he then? Is he packing right now?"

"No," she replied while she shook her head. "He left ahead of us…"

Sudden surprise appeared in Loki's features and Idun waited patiently for him to reply. He was quiet for a long time, slumping back on his chair in a tired fashion. Not a single word spilled out from his lips as he stared at nothing. Idun knew what he was thinking about. It must be about Thor who left without any notice. Of course Idun knew he left ahead. He wanted to avoid Loki for awhile and Loki knew that. He wasn't stupid not to know the reason why he left.

"Idun…" Loki looked at her with a sad smile. "Would it be okay if we leave tomorrow? There are a lot of things to be packed and Yamino has a lot of work to do."

She nodded, getting the feeling of understanding that this wasn't the reason why he wanted to stay longer. Maybe he wanted to buy some time before leaving. Or was she just over thinking things?

"Sure, I can wait."

"Thank you," he stood up and Idun questioned where he was going. In response he gave her a shrug. "I think I'll go take a walk."

Loki smiled weakly at her and she tried not to bite her lip. She wondered if he was going to be alright after hearing this news. Certainly, he was going to be mister all doom and gloom again and she didn't want that. Before she could say something to him, he had already left, leaving her to sigh and slump back on the couch.

Meanwhile with Loki, he managed to avoid Yamino and the others as he slipped by and went out the front door. Alone time. Yes, he needed some time alone for awhile without anyone to disrupt his thoughts. Somewhere, anywhere, he just has to find somewhere where he could think to himself.

Cold wind breezed past him in a silent whisper as autumn leaves floated carelessly around the atmosphere. It was still early in the afternoon but it was already this cold. Winter looked like it was just around the corner. A shiver erupted within his body and Loki unconsciously wrapped his arms around himself. He could have at least brought an extra coat. Well, with a sigh, he continued walking, thinking it was too late now to go back there.

The walk wasn't that long but he found himself arriving at some pier overlooking the vast blue ocean. Bearing with the cold wind was one thing but doing it again with a combination of wind and ocean, yes, it was surely going to be warmer… But Loki didn't mind it at all. Even though he was freezing, the deep crystal like ocean was calming to watch. It looked peaceful in every way.

Leaning on the railing, he sighed contentedly, letting the cold ice wind sting his skin from underneath his green coat. It didn't take him much long to slowly close his eyes, and accidentally start recalling memories. His precious memories.

"You're the detective?" Mayura's familiar voice asked incredulously, watching Loki with fascinated eyes. She walked up to him and placed a firm hand on top of his head before leaning down to his level.

"I may be a child but that does not reflect my true abilities." Loki replied smoothly.

Silently, he remembered the first time he met her. The day he met her, the first thing that came to his mind was that she was ditzy and annoying. She always followed him around, whether he wanted her to or not and accepted cases he didn't have time to deal with. She was bothersome. But… in the end… she was good company.

Later as he remembered more, they became friends. He could see that she had a nice smile. A smile that was so contagious and could brighten up his day without him knowing it. He always waited for her visits.

When the ocean waves crashed abruptly, an unpleasant memory rushed to his mind, causing him to wince. This memory made him remember how Heimdall kissed Mayura in the lips. Loki was bothered by it and didn't know why for some reason until he finally found out that he had feelings for her…

Emotions suddenly ran wild within. He wanted to hit something just to get all of these feelings to go away. Groaning, he placed his head down to cover his face wit his arms. Tears were willing to spill down from his eyes and he tried to hold them back. Never would he cry. He needed to be strong. He had to stop remembering. Just recalling everything was going to make him lose control of everything he had done.

"Fushigi Mystery!"

"C'mon Loki, go have a swim with us!"

"Give a cute smile and don't be grumpy."

"Thank you Loki!"

"I wish to see Loki…"

SHUT UP!

His mind was screaming for everything to be quiet. A strong wind passed him just as his mind cried and he shivered from the cold again. He began to think this was pathetic; he was pathetic. And questions began rising to his head that he didn't know what answers to give. He wondered what would have happened if he didn't erase her memories… Would he still be happy? Will the others not worry about him too much?

Loki sighed; another thing to think about was what Hel's reaction would be if she found out that her father was losing himself in depression. He promised her that he would take care of himself. Would she be sad if she found out that he was failing to keep her promise?

Everything by now became blank, his vision blurry from unshed tears he was keeping. He was breaking down to pieces he never knew that could happen to him. In defeat, he kneeled down, eyes still closed, afraid to know what was happening around him.

This broken man was not him…

"Uhm, is something the matter mister? Are you sick or something?" a concerned voice asked that was a healthy distance away from him.

Slowly, he opened his eyes to face the person who interrupted his solitude and came face to face with a feature he could never forget.

His surprised emerald orbs stared at concerned crimson ones.

:: End ::

Well this is the end of chapter nine. Were almost nearing the end so please wait for the next chapter. :)

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