Chapter 42

NEAR...YET SO FAR

She is not happy to see him.

Nobody had to tell him that. It was clear enough. Maybe it was the empty look that appeared in her eyes, or the closed expression that settled over her face. Maybe it was the way she turned away from his gaze and refused to look in his direction.

Or maybe it's just the way she went about her business as though he was not even there.

The moment he entered the subway filled with the studio people and saw her, he had wanted to go to her and talk to her. But it was obvious she did not want to.

So he stayed in the corner, talking to Yuki and the other members of the crew. Perhaps it was a good thing that no one else had the slightest idea about what is really going on with him and Aisha. Well, except of course, Xiao Qiao.

Hua Ze Lei looked up as he felt someone approach him quietly and found Xiao Qiao standing there.

"Hi," she said with that amiable smile. He smiled back.

"Hey, you," he said, as she sat down on the bench beside him.

Together in silence they watched as two make-up artists fussed over Aisha, readying her for the next take of the music video.

"It is a surprise," Xiao Qiao said, "seeing you here. I thought you were still in Taipei." Suddenly she laughed softly. "Now that I think about it, I rarely ever saw you in Taipei. Perhaps only once, during the engagement party. After that, you were simply...gone."

"I am not a very social person," he said quietly, unable to take his eyes off Aisha. Right now, one of the props men is helping her into a trench coat.

Silence settled between them for a moment.

Suddenly Hua Ze Lei turned to Xiao Qiao. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

She seemed startled by his question. She blinked twice, then said, "I'm filming for Aisha's music video."

"That's not what I am asking, and you know it." He repeated the question. "What are you, REALLY, doing here?"

Xiao Qiao stared at him, as though this was the only time the question came up before her. When she turned away, she spoke in a voice that Hua Ze Lei even thought he did not hear.

"I have no idea."

He could only nod, although he does not really understand what she meant.

"Maybe I just wanted to get away from Taipei…away from everything – and everyone – else."

"But...here?" he asked. "In Japan?" He looked pointedly at Aisha and Xiao Qiao, seeing this gesture, shook her head in amusement.

"Don't worry, Hua Ze Lei. You're right. It is not her fault. I don't hate her, and I don't have any ulterior motive for coming here, if that's what you were afraid of." She turned her head to look at him again. "When you left Taipei, did you see Mei Zuo?"

This question need not be answered by Hua Ze Lei. His silence and the grave look on his face as he stood up said it all.

"When are you going back to Taipei?" he asked her without looking at her.

She shrugged. "In three days," she said.

He nodded. "Say hello to Mei Zuo for me. Tell him..." He took a deep breath. "Tell him...I miss him."

With that he strode away from her and, after a word with Yuki and the director, left.

But not after he stopped at the entrance of the subway and threw one last, long, lingering look at Aisha.

At that moment, she chose to look up and, this time, held his gaze for a second, two, three, four...then turned away.

Hua Ze Lei swallowed almost painfully then, with determination hardening his jaw, he turned around and left.

It was as Dao Ming Si said.

'Fight for it.'

Aisha's dead-tired body dropped on the soft bed back in her own room, in her own apartment, and not just in another hotel room she had to stay in while out promoting and doing all these engagements.

The small clock on the table beside the bed registered 3:14 a.m.

There is nothing else she wanted more right now than to drift off to sleep. But it was not to be, no thanks to Hua Ze Lei coming back without a word.

Why did he return all of a sudden? Why didn't he tell her?

Realizing what she just thought of, she gave a bitter laugh.

Of course he would not tell her. Why would he?

She was the one who turned her back on him. Why else would she expect him to still be the old Hua Ze Lei he was to her?

Stupid, Aisha. Just plain stupid, she thought as she grabbed her pillow and put it over her head, trying to muffle away the sound of...silence.

When she first saw him when he arrived at the subway earlier this evening, she almost felt like running.

But that was a silly thought, as she later decided when she realized there was only one available exit, and that path would lead right to where Hua Ze Lei was standing.

Just by the way he looked at her she knew he wanted to talk to her, although what he would want to speak to her about is beyond her.

While he lingered with the crew members and spoke with Yuki, Aisha managed to sneak a few glances at him.

Oh, how she missed him…

His son is back in town, and this is the welcome he gets from him.

Hua Ze Wang glanced at the ornate clock on the far wall of the breakfast room and groaned. He looked at Hua Ze Lei across the table.

"It is a Saturday, Lei," he said patiently. "Other people, regardless of status, would want to stay in bed until at least eight in the morning. It is still seven! What were you thinking, waking me up so early? And here I thought you took after me when it comes to sleeping habits."

Hua Ze Lei ignored his father's wisecrack over his sleeping habit which he, actually, took from him.

"I wanted to talk to you. I called last night, but you were unavailable."

His father nodded solemnly. "I was out on a dinner with a couple of associates. What is it you wanted to talk about that it could not wait for at least," he glanced at the clock once more, "fifty-one minutes?"

Hua Ze Lei saw no point in beating around the bush.

"You had Aisha sign a contract with Japan Airlines. And you did not notify me."

The old man thought about this for a moment, then said, "I was not aware that I needed your permission to actually help your artist gain more publicity by having her sign a promotional contract with the prime airline of this country."

"But I know for a fact that I needed to at least be informed of the activities of MY artist. I deserved that much." Once he began speaking the words just spilled out of him. "You might be the more seasoned businessman, Pa, but you are not the only one with the brains in the family."

He stood up and moved to leave through the doorway of the breakfast room. But he stopped when his father spoke again.

"That is not what you are annoyed about, is it?"

Hua Ze Lei looked up and breathed, not wanting to lose his temper in front of his own father.

Hua Ze Wang leaned back in his seat and regarded his son carefully.

"Let me guess. You are uncomfortable with the thought of Jing working with Aisha?"

He grew still, then he slowly turned around to look at his father. "What?" he asked.

His father nodded slowly. "Don't think I don't know about your relationship with Miss Aisha. You don't talk about it, but I have eyes and ears, you know." He got to his feet and walked around the table, never taking his eyes off his son.

"Lei, I have always wondered what it was about her that drew you. I mean, she is probably the last person in the world I would expect you to fall for. Now, I know it is no secret to you that I wanted Jing for you all along - "

"I told you - "

" – and I also know you said it was over, but you cannot keep an old man from hoping. Then I hear about you and your...protege."

"Is that why you had Aisha sign on as the model for the airline? For comparison? Because that just made my day." Hua Ze Lei suddenly felt dangerously on the verge of losing his temper, something that does not happen quite often.

Clearly Hua Ze Wang could see this, as he gazed at his son almost wonderingly.

"It is not for comparison, Lei. I did it, because I knew it was one of the best moves, and you have to admit that I am right."

"You expect me to thank you?"

He ignored Hua Ze Lei's barb. "And maybe I was wrong to jump right in and act like I own Artiste, and I apologize for that. But you cannot help me from wondering about Aisha and making moves to satisfy my curiosity."

"And what did you find out?" he asked.

Hua Ze Wang shook his head. ""Honestly, to this day, I am still wondering what you liked about her. Being your father, I thought I had an idea of your taste in women, what with Jing. And Shancai, for all her roughness, I understood why you fell for her." He shook his head at his son. "Your relationship with Aisha - "

"Well, you can rest easy, Pa, because there is no relationship."

This declaration clearly caught the old man off-guard. He could only stare wordlessly at Hua Ze Lei.

"There is no relationship," Hua Ze Lei repeated, "because Aisha broke up with me. Because she happened to be Mei Zuo's former love. Now, are you also going to wonder why Mei Zuo fell for her, or will that be a puzzle to you as well?" Shock was written all over the old man's face. "I hope your curiosity is satisfied."

He left the mansion, but Hua Ze Wang still remained standing there, unsure of what just happened.

Slowly he looked down and gripped the edge of the table.

A moment ago, Hua Ze Lei looked about ready to throttle him. His usually cool demeanor almost cracked, and his words became laced with pure sarcasm.

Was that his son?

Aisha was walking to the studio that morning when she saw him come out from one of the doors. Quickly reversing direction, she spun on her heels to go the other way.

But he caught up with her.

"Aisha," he breathed when he was beside her but she kept on walking, ignoring the glances of the other Artiste employees who happen to be walking along the corridors as well. "Aisha, please stop walking."

The plea in his voice made her stop in her tracks. "What is it?" she asked mildly, not fully trusting herself to look him in the eyes just yet.

"We need to talk," he said softly, slowly.

"What about?""

"Not here."

"Why not?"

"It isn't proper."

She shrugged, looking around. "Looks alright to me."

"You are avoiding me," he said, perhaps finally deciding the only place he could talk to her is here.

"I'm just busy," she said, looking at a spot between her toes.

Hua Ze Lei sighed. "Alright, this is not going to work. We will talk later, whether you like it or not. You will meet me at the usual place, usual table. I will wait for you there later." He moved away.

"And if I don't go?"

He paused. "Then expect a memo from me tomorrow."

"Kinda like the red tags the F4 used to issue? Let me guess, will it have the words 'You'll be dead'?"

Hua Ze Lei sighed inwardly, remembering how he used to tell her about those pranks they performed back in Ying De.

"Be there."

"Are you pulling ranks on me now?" she demanded, and he could see she was getting riled. "Are you playing the employer-employee card?"

Hua Ze Lei was about to say something when the Yuki rounded the corridor and chanced upon the two of them.

"Aisha!" she breathed. "There you are! We have been looking everywhere for you!" She saw Hua Ze Lei. "Boss!" she exclaimed.

One glance at Hua Ze Lei's grim face and Aisha's eyes shooting sparks, and the manager instantly knew something was wrong. She walked up to Aisha and took her by the hand.

"Come on, Aisha," she said. To her relief, her charge let herself be led away.

Hua Ze Lei called out after them. "Don't work too late, Yuki. Miss Aisha and I have an appointment at six."

Yuki glanced at Aisha's profile and was surprised to see the anger replaced by an almost heartbreaking sadness, looking about ready to burst into tears.

Yuki stopped the car in front of the Italian restaurant and turned to Aisha, who sat there motionless.

The manager sighed, feeling sorry for Aisha. Normally she does not meddle in the private affairs of her charges, but Aisha is different. Aisha was the only one who managed to appeal to her maternal instincts, and it hurt her to see Aisha look so forlorn.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to."

"I have to," came Aisha's sedate reply.

The past two hours were spent with Aisha pouring her heart out to Yuki. The manager listened as, in between sobs and sniffles, Aisha told her everything.

Pity moved her as she listened to the whole story being spilled out. Somewhere in between, she realized how alone Aisha must have felt through everything. Just the way Aisha opened up to her was proof enough that she kept everything bottled deep within her.

And then the dam broke.

Yuki looked into the restaurant, wondering if Hua Ze Lei is already there.

Aisha must have read her mind, as she said, "He's inside."

Yuki turned to her in puzzlement. "How do you know?" she asked.

With a small sad smile, Aisha said, "I just know."

Slowly, Yuki nodded. She reached out and laid a palm over Aisha's.

"Do you want me to go in with you?"

Gratefully Aisha smiled at Yuki, but she shook her head. "That will be wonderful, but there really is no need for that. I will do this alone." She opened the door.

"I'll be waiting here," Yuki said as Aisha stepped out of the car. With another grateful glance, Aisha smiled at her manager and closed the door behind her.

With a deep breath, she entered the restaurant.

Hua Ze Lei sensed her even before he saw her.

He stood up at her approach, and when he pulled her chair for her, she mumbled an incoherent 'Thanks' and sat down.

Hua Ze Lei took his place across the table, signaling the waiter over. "What would you have?" he asked her.

"Whatever," she said.

She remained quiet, her eyes fixed on the table cloth as Hua Ze Lei took it upon himself to order for her.

When the waiter left, he leaned back. "How are you?" he asked.

"Alright, I guess," she replied, then, as an afterthought said, "You?"

"Not so good," he replied, somehow feeling a small measure of gladness that she cared to find out how he was.

Suddenly she looked up. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

He smiled slightly. "Let's eat first."

Vehemently she shook her head. "No. No, I don't think I can do that. It's either you talk now, or I walk out of here."

Hua Ze Lei stared at her. Just when she thought he was not going to say anything, he spoke in a longing voice.

"I missed you. I just wanted...I just wanted to talk to you, find out how you are."

"I told you, I am doing fine."

"Well, I am not," he said. "Look, I know you made things clear when you left Taipei, but I am not willing to just let it go at that."

"How much clearer do you want me to put it to you?" she whispered fiercely so as not to attract the attention of the other diners. "I cannot be with you, Hua Ze Lei. Right now, the best thing is for me to stay as uninvolved as I possibly could with you, or any of your friends." She shook her head. "This will be for all our own good. Trust me."

She stood up. "I am sorry, but I can't join you for dinner. I am not really hungry."

Finally he spoke. "I have never fought for anything before, for three main reasons."

She turned to look at him, and he went on speaking.

"First, because I never had the need to fight for a lot of things; they are readily handed over to me. Second, I don't think they are worth fighting for. And the third reason, because I don't want to."

Aisha stared at him, helplessness in her eyes as he spoke his last sentence.

"I will fight for this, Aisha. Trust me."

Not wanting to hear anymore for fear that her emotions would betray her, Aisha turned around and raced out of the restaurant, almost bumping into the waiter who was just coming to deliver their appetizers.

When Aisha stepped on to the sidewalk, Yuki's car was already there, its door wide open.

Fighting back the tears, she climbed into the car.

Yuki looked at her blinking back the tears.

"You OK?" Yuki asked, and Aisha only nodded, knowing she would surely break down if she opens her mouth to speak.

"You want me to take you home now?"

Again, the nod.

As Yuki drove away, neither of them saw Hua Ze Lei standing by the door of the restaurant, gazing after them with a thoughtful look, but also with steely determination in his eyes.