It's a harder way to heaven on the rope you swing, and the night ain't filled with gentle things.
The radio droned on in the back of her head as the anxiety nearly consumed her. Night time in the middle of nowhere was not the most reassuring places to be, even if she was stronger than most people in the world.
Nipton had shaken her to the bone. Seeing those men nailed to crosses, the man with the creepy voice vaguely threatening her had caused yet another panic attack, and it took all of her (quite impressive) strength to run away as fast as possible.
She ran until she couldn't see the smoke from the burning fires in Nipton anymore, and the sun had started to set. It was starting to get a bit cooler, and Elizabeth finally stopped and collapsed. She gasped for breath and coughed. She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the night sky.
She guessed she always thought the sky always looked amazing. Whether it was day or night, cloudy or clear, the sky looked amazing. The War had removed a lot of things that caused pollution, so the sky cleared up and it was always a vibrant blue color. The Mojave isn't as dry as people think, and there are usually fluffy clouds all over.
The night sky was even prettier than the day. There was a blue fog of stars across the sky, for unknown reasons, that glowed brighter than the moon sometimes.
The fog put Elizabeth at ease and she closed her eyes. She breathed in, and out, trying to calm her breaths. Her heart was still beating a million beats per minute, and she felt like she was going to pass out.
She ran her hand through her hair, and stopped for a moment when she touched the scar on her forehead.
Sometimes, she thought she wasn't real. That all this was just a dream. That she would wake up and she would be with some family that loved her. Parents, siblings, whatever.
But some things brought her back to reality. She was shot in the head and robbed of something, and she wanted to know why.
It was moments like these that remind her that she's alive. Sometimes, she remembered, she didn't want to be. That a pain in her chest of a forgotten memory made her want to give up and die.
She breathed in and out again, and put her hands by her side. Sleeping out in the middle of the desert isn't the smartest thing, but Elizabeth wasn't a smart girl and, at the end of the day, she really needed a moment to rest.
When Elizabeth wasn't trying to figure out the meaning of life and thinking about things that people in her situation shouldn't really be thinking about, she was off helping people.
She had already agreed to help Manny Vargas stop the ghouls coming into Novac in exchange for information on the man in the checkered suit.
Elizabeth remembered that she liked ghouls. They always had a story to tell, and Elizabeth would let them tell her everything they needed to get off her chest. She was, after all, a doctor.
She finally put two and two together to remember some things about her past. She was a doctor, and also could fix a gun in no time. So, she was also a repairwoman.
It would explain a lot, but not enough. She tried not to think about it when she walked into the basement of the REPCONN facility.
She discovered that she didn't like Nightkin. And she discovered that she liked getting hit by rebar clubs even less.
Still, she persevered. With a shot there and a hacked off head of another Nightkin there, she was able to use a Stimpack on her arm and move onto the next room.
When she cleared out the basement of anything that would threaten any of the ghouls upstairs, she was told to find some other things to help build a rocket.
Because, naturally, there's a lot of spare rocket parts laying around in the Wasteland.
It was around one in the morning when she wandered back into Novac, and decided to ask Manny if he was willing to give her the information she needed. She kept her hand on her gun as she walked up the stairs to the sniper's nest, but Manny wasn't there. Instead, there was another person.
"Goddamn it! Don't sneak up on me like that. What do you want?" he asked, pointing his gun at Elizabeth. She drew her gun and then stopped herself.
It's okay Eli, she thought to herself, he's not going to hurt you.
He lowered his gun when she didn't answer him.
"Are... you all right?" He asked. She sucked in a few deep breaths, then nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. I was looking for Manny."
"He's not here."
Well, obviously, Elizabeth thought again, rolling her eyes.
"I think you'd better leave," He said. Elizabeth stood up straighter, attempting to use her height to at least not look like a scared child.
She nodded, still tightly gripping her gun, and turned around to leave, but he pulled her back.
She retaliated and smacked his arm back, and he held his arms up in surrender.
"I just wanted to ask if you would do something for me."
She gulped, "What is it?"
"This town... nobody looks me straight in the eye anymore."
"What do you want me to do?" She asked curiously.
"I want you to find something out for me. I don't know if there's anything to find, but I need someone to try. My wife was taken from our home by Legion slavers one night while I was on watch. They knew when to come and what route to take, and they only took Carla. Someone set it up. I don't know who."
"You're trying to track down your wife?"
"My wife's dead. I want the son of a bitch who sold her."
"What do I do if I find this person?"
"Bring him out in front of the nest here while I'm on duty. I work nights. I'll give you my NCR beret to put on. It'll be our signal, so I know you're standing with him, and I'll take care of the rest. I need to do this myself."
She nodded, "I'll do what I can do to help you out."
"Good. I'll make it worth your while," He took off his beret and handed it to her, "Wear this when you're with him in front of the dinosaur." She cautiously reached out and took it from him, a little bit relieved he didn't try to grab at her.
"And one more thing, we shouldn't speak again. Not until it's over."
"Well, welcome to you. You look tired from the road, why don't you relax a spell, let this fine town take care of you?" Jeannie May Crawford said as Elizabeth walked into the hotel office. She needed a room to stay in since she was exhausted.
And, naturally, she didn't have enough caps.
Something, in the back of her head, told her to look in Jeannie May's safe after hours. While she isn't normally a crook, she has a knack for unlocking things that aren't supposed to be unlocked.
She waited until 12 AM to break into the front office and vaulted over the counter and landed quietly on her feet. She unlocked the safe and dug around it.
At the bottom, there was a receipt for Carla Boone and her unborn child.
"Well, shoot," Elizabeth said, reading the page, then putting it in the back pocket of her jeans. Jeannie May didn't seem like the kind of person to do something like that.
She had woken Jeannie May up and brought her in front of the dinosaur, and put on Boone's beret and closed her eyes. She heard a gunshot and a thud next to her. She didn't bother checking to see if she was still alive.
Elizabeth walked back to Boone, who looked more forlorn than he usually did. "That's it then. How did you know?"
"I found the bill of sale." She pulled it out of her pocket to show him, but he only crumpled it up and threw it on the ground.
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It'd be like them to keep paperwork. Here," Ye rummaged around in his pockets and handed me a few hundred caps, "This is all I can give. I think our dealings are done here."
"What will you do after this?"
"I don't know. I won't be staying, I know that. Don't see much point in anything right now, except hunting legionaries. Maybe I'll wander, like you."
Elizabeth smiled, "Come with me. Let's go after the Legion."
"You don't want to do that."
"We'll kill more with the two of us."
"Yeah, that might be true. And that's reason enough for me to take you up on it, I suppose. But this isn't gonna end well," He sighed, then strapped his gun onto his back. "Fine. Let's get out of here."
Elizabeth knew in the back of her head that this guy wasn't going to hurt her.
They were by the Novac sign when Elizabeth looked behind her at the sniper.
"I'm Elizabeth, by the way."
"Craig Boone," he replied.
She took off his beret and threw it back to him, and he put it back on his head in complete silence.
"The guy you're looking for, Benny, he was traveling with some members from my old gang. They were going to Boulder City," Manny said. Elizabeth rubbed her tired eyes, and yawned.
"Why?"
"No clue. I know Benny hadn't paid up yet. Maybe that was where they were supposed to get square."
"Okay, so where's Boulder City?"
"It's straight up Route 93 from here. Just keep following the road north."
She mumbled a "thank you", then exited the gift shop downstairs and met up with Boone. He looked tired, but not as tired as her.
After she recruited him, she still had to help those ghouls at the REPCONN place. She did, eventually, get the things they needed for the rocket, and finally got rid of them.
She ran her hand through her hair, pushing her messy bangs back, and they flopped back into place, hiding the scar on her forehead.
Naturally, Boone noticed it, but didn't say anything.
"I was shot in the head after being robbed," She explained. He nodded.
"That's why I am looking for that Benny guy."
He still didn't say anything. It was probably for the best.
"I guess I'll go get a room from... someone." She mumbled.
She rented a room from that man at the gift shop (after he pressured her into buying a dinosaur souvenir.)
She slumped into her room after sending Boone to his. She really needed to sleep. She flopped onto the bed and fell asleep almost immediately.
Traveling with Boone wasn't too bad. He was quiet and didn't sleep too much. Which was a good thing since Elizabeth was too afraid to fall asleep around him.
Still, she didn't know why. She guessed she still had a subconscious fear of... something. She really didn't want to think about it.
So, she stayed awake while Boone slept. He didn't look angry while he was asleep, which was an interesting thing to see.
Elizabeth took her eyes off her companion and looked up at the glowing blue fog in the sky.
She leaned against the broken building they were using as a hideout for the night and sighed.
She really wanted to fall asleep. They have been walking for three days, and not once had she fallen asleep.
This subconscious fear is really getting to her. She desperately didn't want to be afraid of anyone who looked at her wrong, but she was. She was so freaking scared all the time and she was really freaking sick of it.
She closed her eyes and punched the ground. Screw anxiety. It was a useless feeling anyway.
But it consumed her.
She passed the hours by being lost in thought. She didn't have anything to remember, so she made up her past.
She was happy, with a good job and parents and a girlfriend who loved her. She was happy. She decided to become a courier, so she had to leave. She's still dating that girl. Her name was Emily, and she has long brown hair and hazel eyes and she's handy with a knife, and she thinks she's immortal.
Boone woke up at around 5 AM, and Elizabeth helped him pack up.
"Aren't you going to sleep?" He asked.
"I'd...rather not," She paused, then scratched her arm and resumed packing.
He didn't protest, telling her to sleep, that it's bad for her. She liked him for that.
She appreciated that he didn't pry into her business like so many other people did. They always want to know everything about you, and sometimes you just can't tell anyone something.
They walked in silence to Boulder City.
A/N: who else is consumed by anxiety almost every moment of the day even when you sleep! lol