Stupid Geniuses Ch 6

Aww you guys are so sweet! You're the best reviewers I could ever ask for~ :3 I'm in a good mood 'cause of the cruise I just got back from, it was sooooo amazing!

SnowsShadow: Kumori's now sobbing happily. She thought that you hated her! She said that if I don't tell you she's giving you a hug back she'll eat me. o_O"

Likes to Smile: *nod, nod* Itachi's just… y'know there. He doesn't really care what you do it him! Except punch him, that makes him mad… Fluff is amazing, so is Ryuu! He's just plain cute. I can't wait to read your next review!

Maiumaora: I know~ TwT"

bleedingcrimson: OwO That's kind of a compliment threat. ^^" I'm so flattered… Kind of. I'll update fast!

Thanks to Kudomeya for the favorite, Envy 192 for the favorite, and bleedingcrimson for the favorite author *omg*, favorite story, and alert! *omg, omg*

When I open my eyes again, I freeze at my positioning. My head is in the crook of Itachi's neck and my arms are around his waist. His hair is out of its usual ponytail and his arm is around my neck. His cheek is resting on the top of my head and his other hand is touching my interlocked fingers on his hip. I move slowly away from him, trying hard not to wake him. He mumbles something in his sleep and pulls me a little closer. My eyes get huge as he pulls me into his lap, obviously dreaming still.

"Wake up, Itachi, yeah," Deidara says shoving him away from me easily, picking me up like I weigh nothing. "Get offa Kumori-chan, un," Kisame picks me out of Deidara's arms and sets me back on the ground.

"Next time get a room," The shark man says with a pointy grin, making me go red.

"For now, make us breakfast, b*tch," Hidan says shoving me towards the kitchen. I glare at him half-heartedly but go.

"Yes master, anything for master," I say under my breath as I stalk off to the kitchen. Tobi's sitting on the counter, looking at me cutely.

"Who is Kumori-chan's master?" He asks and I turn red at the perverted thoughts that hit me.

"Nobody, I'm being sarcastic," I say blushing.

"Sarcastic?" He tilts his head to the side slightly.

"Joking," I explain with a small smile. "But not really," This gets his eyes to swirl and he jumps off the counter. "Uh…I was mocking him?"

"Okay! Tobi gets it now!" He declares happily and takes over my duties of cooking as Ryuu lets out a shrill wail announcing to the world that he's awake and in need of attention. I dart into my room and see him on his back, waving his fists around.

"Ryuu!" I say in my equally shrill baby voice, shocking him into silence. "Hi baby!" He looks up at me with huge eyes like "what the f*ck, you hippo?!" but reaches out and smiles. I swoop him into my arms and throw him into the air. He's giggling within seconds and I sweatdrop at the sudden mood swing.

"…It's awake," Kakuzu says looking at the two of us.

"Huh?" I put Ryuu on my shoulder and turn to face him. "What do you mean?"

"All he does is cry and mess things up," He says with a half-shrug. "Waste of money if you ask me,"

"I didn't," I say icily and the phone rings. Ryuu starts crying again and I say a particularly naughty word under my breath. "Uh… Uh… HERE!" Shoving the crying baby towards the miser, I run into the kitchen, skidding to a stop. That fails, seeing as I'm wearing socks and the floor is slippery. As I slide past, I grab the phone and press the talk button, only to crash right into Zetsu, who dominos into Hidan, who knocks Kisame off of his feet.

"Ow!"

"F*ck you!"

"What the hell?!"

"Hello?" I groan into the receiver from underneath the three mugger-ninja and I hear panting on the other line. Pron Boss. "Hello?"

"Kumori~!" He says and I dry heave at the sound of his tone. Sugary sweet and full of…pronness. "I decided that I'm going to be amazingly nice and give you today off, okay? You don't mind do you?" I can almost see the look on his face. His lips are pursed and I bet you anything he's feeling himself.

"Sure." I shrug and then say under my breath "Probably just because the new Icha Icha Paradise comes out today,"

"What was that?" He asks sounding genuinely confused.

"Nothing!" I yelp quickly and hang up, throwing the phone back at the receiver like it would magically sit back up there.

It breaks.

I mourn the loss of my landline. Then my cell rings, making my rear vibrate, right into Hidan's…thing.

"What the f*ck is that?!" He yelps, scared to death about the sudden intrusion.

"My phone. Move," I grumble and yank the cell out of my back pocket. "What?" I growl into the phone and I hear laughter on the other line.

"Did we interrupt you and your boy toy?" Tanaka laughs from the other end.

"He's not even over," I lie easily. "You just woke me up. Ryuu kept me up last night,"

"Aww," I can almost see her pouting. "You two are so cute together! Still in the awkward honeymoon phase~!"

"Actually we're just awkward," I say under my breath. "What did you call for?"

"I wanted to talk to my baby boy," She says with a grin in her tone. "How is he? Have you tried walking with him yet?"

"Not yet," I say putting my chin on the cheap linoleum floor. "I'll try it later,"

"Okay, well your brother and I are having a good time; we might stay a little longer than expected… Is that okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine! I love spending time with my nephew," I grin, glaring a little at the mugger-ninjas, who are still on top of me. "I'd better go. Ryuu's probably getting into trouble,"

"Alright, have fun and we'll call you later!" She hangs up and I sigh, putting my head back on the floor.

"Okay, as much as I'm loving this foursome, I really need to check on the baby, I left him with Kakuzu," I say squirming out from underneath them. The trio don't look too concerned for the baby's safety. "He's not gonna have eaten his, right?"

"Nope, only Zetsu would do that," Kisame grins and Zetsu gives him a slightly pouty look.

"Too young, the meat is too sweet when they're as young as he is." He says rolling his eyes playfully, but I can still hear the seriousness in his tone. "More around Kumori-san's age is perfect," I blanch to the color of paper, stumbling away from him a few feet. Black threads gently work their way around me, keeping me upright as Kakuzu walks up behind me. Ryuu is happy in his arms; one of the threads is now his chew toy. He's giggling as Kakuzu makes it wiggle around like some demented snake.

"…" I look at him for a second as Hidan bursts out laughing.

"You f*cking P*SSY!" He says, howling with laughter. "Who knew that you had it in you?!"

"I think that's really sweet," I say leaning forward to Eskimo kiss Ryuu. "Guys who have a sensitive side are hot," I add smiling a little at Kakuzu, which shuts Hidan up faster than if I'd slapped him.

"…Gimme the d*mn kid."

…line…line…line…line…

A little while later I find myself at the ice skating rink. The Akatsuki are dragging me inside and I instantly put on the breaks.

"I-I can't ice skate," I stutter, trying to back out again. "I can't stand up on them without killing myself,"

"Then we'll help you!" Kisame says with a pointy grin. "Don't worry," Ryuu is dropped off at the rink's daycare center so we can skate without worrying about him.

"Itachi-san and I'll start off," He says with a huge smile as we lace up our skates. I hesitate but nod as I try to stand up, wobbling a lot. Two arms go around my waist on either side as everyone but Kisame and Itachi run out onto the ice. Tobi doesn't even bother to put skates on. I hesitate when we go right to the edge of the ice.

"I don't know…" I say, not liking how slippery the ice looks.

"We'll both be right next to you," Kisame says leaning down so his chin is almost touching my shoulder.

"I won't let you fall," Itachi says quietly, starting out onto the slick frozen water. Kisame follows and I have no choice but to go. We stay close to the railing, going slowly.

"Shuffle," Kisame commands gently, taking long easy strides. I do so and find myself moving forward enough so neither of them really has to push me.

"I-I'm moving," I say, almost giddy with happiness. "I'm moving!" I look to either side of me. Kisame is grinning hugely, squeezing my hip. Itachi nods minusculely and pats my hand.

"Good job," I squeal with happiness and promptly fall back on my a$$.