See Chapter One for Disclaimer
Excerpts from Charlie's Log
7 June 2011
So…..I wanted to go down to the Library, as much as I enjoy Jarvis, I'm kind of a tangible paper kind of girl. I wanted to see if I really don't exist here or not. But…I got caught trying to leave. Tony found me, and asked where I was going….and I lied and said the first thing that came to my mind and then Clint invited himself, and then Tasha, and then Steve showed up and invited Thor and then Bruce said no thanks so I tried to do the same and it didn't work, and long story short I never got to the library. Ugh.
Kay found it funny, that whenever she was bored out of her mind, the rest of the individuals currently residing in Stark Tower were either busy or absent. But when she was actively searching for some solitude….they found her.
It was on such an occasion when she was attempting to leave the Tower undetected, that Stark cornered her.
"Where ya going?"
"The zoo." Kay answered immediately. Her nose flared at the obvious lie, but it was too late to take it back.
"No way. I haven't been to the zoo in forever!" Clint appeared from around the corner, face lighting up. "I'm in. Let's go!"
Kay's eyes widened, and she shook her head. "NO! You're not invited."
"Whoa, whoa, wait, not cool." Clint crossed his arms. " Tony's invited, but I'm not?"
"Where is Tony invited?" Steve joined the trio, an interested look on his face.
"Tony and Kay are going to the zoo, and Kay says I can't go." Clint complained, turning to Steve, who frowned.
"Well that's not very fair. If you're going somewhere, you should probably leave it as an open invitation." He admonished, and Kay rolled her eyes.
"Let me guess," she drawled, "You want to come too."
Steve beamed. "I'd love to go! Of course that means Clint is invited as well." Kay grimaced. She wanted to argue, but what was the point? Her errands would just have to wait - it looked like she was going to the zoo.
"Yes!" Clint fist bumped the air. "I'll tell Tasha to hurry up and get ready so she can go too."
"Are you all going somewhere then?" Bruce joined everyone in the hallway, hands shoved into his pants pockets and eyebrows lifted in polite interest.
"The zoo." Tony smirked at a pouting Kay. "You wanna come too?"
Bruce shook his head hastily. "The other guy doesn't do well around a bunch of animals and screaming kids. I think I'll stay here."
"Me too." Kay jumped up. "I'm also feeling a little...peaky.
Steve frowned at Kay. "You're the one that made these plans. You of all people can't back out now. Let me go change my shoes, and then we can go."
Kay grumbled under her breath, and Tony clapped her shoulder, chortling. "Cheer up, Kay. It'll be fun.
And that's how Kay found herself taking a field trip to the zoo…with the Avengers.
Maybe it was just the fact that the Avengers had been let loose on the world without any world-saving to deal with, but the moment the group left the tower, they'd all reverted to the maturity of middle-schoolers.
Overall, it really did go okay, mostly because Kay seemed capable of corralling the team. (She'd fought a war. The trip to the zoo was a cakewalk.)
For reasons Clint had refused to explain, he was in possession of a pink morph suit and had decided to attempt to become one with the flamingos. It hadn't gone so well, and all that Clint had gotten for his trouble was a hard hit to the noggin and he'd lost his hearing aids in the struggle…so he spent most of their trip completely deaf until Steve had given in to Clint's puppy dog looks and went to retrieve them for him.
Tony had labeled himself Kay's tour guide; he dragged her around with a hand clamped around the edge of her jacket, and Kay let it happen. She figured, at least, that while she was there, she would enjoy it. Tasha was documenting via camera, and Steve via sketchbook.
It was Thor though, that caused Kay the most grief.
He was fascinated by all of Earth's creatures; many were familiar to him, but some were new, and he watched every new creature move with wide eyed, child-like wonder.
Then it was snack time, and Tony had generously bought everyone elephant ears.
Thor's eyes had widened at the name, but he'd finished his in 30 seconds flat and bemoaned the fact that he wanted ANOTHAH.
Kay promised they'd get him another one later, then thought nothing of it…until she realized later that Thor had disappeared.
She found him inside the elephant habitat, hammer in hand, about ready to charge the beast. A zoo worker was screaming at Thor, to which Thor would reply,
"Just give me his ear, and I shall depart!"
Kay finally convinced Steve to put down his sketchbook and talk some sense into Thor, and eventually Thor realized that while Elephant ears shared a name with the gray beast, an elephant ear was not actually MADE from elephants. A reminder of a hot dog and baby powder incident a few weeks before had Thor nodding in understanding and reluctantly removing himself from the pen, though he kept his hammer tight to his side. Tony bought Thor another elephant ear, which placated him for the most part, and the team moved forward to continue their zoo trip.
They visited the primates, and the polar bears, and the penguins and the sharks, the dolphins and the sea creatures, and all was well. But then they reached the reptile exhibit.
Thor was fascinated by the snakes, so much so that he dropped his hammer without a care and climbed into the snake pit to "make friends." It was Tasha who talked him out of the pit, and the team moved on, not realizing until later that Thor had left his hammer behind. In their irritation, they forgot that Thor could simply call his hammer to him, and they were forced to retrace their steps.
It was back at the reptile exhibit, that Thor found the shock of his life. The hammer was there, alright, but perched on the back of a small, house-sized turtle…and the turtle was walking back and forth; rather easily, as if there wasn't anything on his back. Thor, when he realized what it was he was witnessing, froze in shock.
"What is that strange beast?" He asked in awe.
Tony sent Thor a weird look. "It's a turtle."
"He has been found worthy…of the Hammer of Thor." Thor whispered reverently, and Tony rolled his eyes, rounding up the team who had scattered to look for the Hammer. Thor met the rest of the team outside the exhibit, beaming, with hammer in hand.
Kay and the team thought nothing of it until the next morning, when Kay came down to the kitchen to reveal Thor, happily feeding a turtle pieces of his pop tart. Kay ran to get Steve.
"Thor."
"Yes, Captain?"
"Where did you get that turtle?"
"I rescued him from the place of animals that we adventured to yesterday."
"Thor, that place, the zoo? That's where the turtle lives. That's his home."
"A creature of such standing, such as this being, does not deserve to be caged."
"What do you mean of such standing?" Steve asked slowly.
Thor looked at Steve like he was an idiot. "He is worthy of the Hammer. His place is at my side, not at that zoo place."
Steve shook his head. "Thor, he's just a turtle. Just a regular, old, turtle."
Thor stood angrily. "Do not speak so of the honorable Thortle!"
Kay, who'd stood behind Steve in silent support, burst out laughing.
Thortle. It was literally the best thing she'd ever heard.
Thor shot her a dark glare, and she stopped laughing, hiding behind Steve, who argued futilely with Thor for another forty five minutes before he threw up his hands in defeat.
"Fine, Thor," he conceded, "I give up."
But he hadn't.
The next day, while Tony and Thor were out on a mission, Steve had returned "Thortle" to the zoo, and replaced him with a turtle from a pet store. Kay had tried to convince Steve to return the pet store turtle to the zoo, and leave Thortle and Thor to their weird love affair, but Steve had refused.
"Besides," Steve explained, "It's not like Thor will be able to tell the difference."
But Steve was wrong. Thor, when he returned from his mission, was stone faced.
"That is not my turtle." He complained coldly.
"It is, Thor, its Thortle,"
"That is not Thortle!" Thor roared.
And when Steve finally caved, and told him the truth, and that Steve could no longer (or wouldn't) get Thortle back, Thor was inconsolable. He didn't speak to Steve for three days. Steve felt awful, and Kay promised she'd do something to help. She had a friend she could call.
That very night, the third night that Thor and Thortle had been separated, the Zoo manager was just getting settled into bed with his wife, who was already tucked in and covered by their blankets, when the blankets flew away to reveal a masked man with a sword.
The zoo manager screamed shrilly.
"Give me the turtle and no one gets hurt!" sword man ordered.
The Zoo manager simply screamed again.
Eventually sword guy forced the zoo manager to speak using words, and a compromise was reached. Thor woke up the next morning to see Thortle resting comfortable on one of his pillows, Thor's hammer perched easily on its back.
Steve and Thor worked things out that morning at breakfast, and Kay rolled her eyes.
The Avengers were weird.
TEXT:
Charlie: I'm about to punch your brother in the face.
Loki: Ah, a not uncommon urge when spending copious amounts of time around the oaf. May I ask why? -LL
Charlie: So we're at the Zoo, right?
Loki:….right. -LL
Charlie: It's like animal jail. Humans pay to come in and look at all the animals in their cages.
Loki: Alright…. -LL
Charlie: Well first of all he tries to take out an elephant for its EAR, which is completely ridiculous, and then he loses his hammer, and then he steals one of the animals from the Zoo and names it, all because the stupid animal could walk around with the hammer on its back!
Loki: That IS quite impressive, though. -LL
Charlie: Oh, shut up you. So then Steve has to send the Turtle back to the Zoo, and Thor's been upset for like three days now.
Loki: ….You've obviously never dealt with Thor when he's in such a mood. As easygoing as he is for the most part, when he gets to "that" point, nothing will fix him except for getting him what he wants.
...You're going to have to get that "turtle" back, somehow. –LL
…And fast. -LL
Charlie: Ugh. Okay, I'll think of something.
Loki: Hurry. –LL
For your sake…Hurry. -LL
Charlie: Guess what he named it?
Loki: Something with his name in there, probably. -LL
Charlie: …Thortle.
Loki: My Word. –LL
That's hideous. –LL
Charlie: Heheheh.
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~CLC~