I'm ba-ack! And the reviewers are: Jasmine blossom625, caseyedith, SeaSaltChocolate, Emi Violet, SRAS9, mijin, Althea M, Mizuki1988, Scarred Sword Heart, No one special, kokoronagomu, geckohawaii, and donhisiewen. Thank you everyone!
I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.
This… thing… is crackish. I make no apologies.
Arch
-Playfully roguish or mischievous: an arch smile.
A Beginner's Guide for Surviving Battousai
As Compiled by Okita Souji
With notes from Saitou Hajime
Welcome to the Shinsengumi! Congratulations on your decision to uphold the Shogunate and serve your country. You may have heard of the high mortality rate in our organization, and in an attempt to keep you alive longer we have put together a handy-dandy pamphlet.
Even though trying is probably pointless.
The highest cause of mortality to the average Shinsengumi is the Choshuu Ishin Shishi, closely followed by the Satsuma Shishi, and then seppuku. Choshuu is in the lead because of a singular threat: Himura Battousai.
Damn nuisance.
When on patrol stay together! Even the best swordsman may fall beneath the weight of numbers.
Don't bother. It won't help.
When in headquarters use the buddy system. Battousai has broken into headquarters twice now, and while both of you probably won't escape, one of you can shout for help while the other distracts him.
I'll have his head on a platter for that stunt!
Do not approach Battousai or challenge him in any way, shape, or form. He will slaughter you, and if you do survive... Don't come back. We have an excellent healthcare policy, but there are fatal exemptions for stupidity. There are exceptions to the dueling rule, of course, like myself and Saitou-taichou.
Chances are, if you're reading this, you're not one of those exceptions.
And remember, guys, practice practice practice! The better you are with a sword, the more likely you are to make it to the annual Inter-Squad Party this September. Hope to see you there!